Baby shower for Elissa + What Some Might Call a Vacation!

[PrairieGirl]

I'm not a fan of staged group photos in the first place. The chairs in the middle of the road bothers me. Why not pose for a more natural family photo and use that? They were JUST IN COLORADO. Why not take the family group shot on a mountain, with nature as the backdrop. God's creation and all that. Why would you choose to stage a photo in the middle of suburbia? For all of their God talk, they really don't seem to be very praising of God or earth or anything.

Would you please stop trying to make logic and sense out of a Maxwell post? :lol:

[ILoveJellybeans]

Wow, no wonder Sarah is so unimaginative in her writing, if as a child, when she and her siblings did have the creativity to make up silly stories, it was squashed.

Its sad that they are not allowed to talk about anything other than Jesus, and that they are not allowed to make friends. Human interaction is something that everyone needs, and an important part of life. Everyone needs a bit of social interaction, even people who are very introverted have some requirement for speaking to others. Its so sad that they don't have any free will and aren't allowed to do anything but what is on their schedule...this is no way to raise a child! Its so cruel.

Steve and Teri have fucked up their kids so much.

[socalrules]

No one is going to mention Sarah's outfit in the picture? Why is she wearing the vest I wore when I was a kid in the 80s? I get pink was a theme but just wow. I will say that Mary's outfit is quite nice.

I have never understood scheduling time to talk with your children, either by the Maxwells or Duggars. Most people just start conversations with family because they are in the same room or go look for them. So kids aren't allowed to run into the house screaming "mommy, mommy, you won't believe what is just saw"? They just wait until their scheduled day and time? What do you do if you have a pressing need to discuss something and your time to speak isn't until Friday at 3pm. Doesn't this just teach you to suppress your feelings since you are not allowed to express them until the proper time? No wonder the maxwell kids are bland robots.

[treemom]

Steve explains it all…

"Should We Eliminate Idle Words?

(Bible quote> Strong's Greek and Hebrew Dictionary defines "idle" as useless. Jesus is telling us that we are going to be held accountable for every useless word. If we are going to answer for even uselss words, we can be sure we are accountable for every bad and wicked word as well. The Lord hears every single word we speak. Our children should know that He wants their conversation to be like the ones we discussed in the last chapter—edifying and filled with truth, thanksgiving, praise, graciousness and good reports."

"Should We Eliminate Foolish Talk?"

(Bible quote) Two types of idle words are foolish talking and jesting. Children are particularly notorious for these types of conversations, but adults can be guilty as well. Look at all the evil we are admonished away from in these verses along with foolish talking and jesting. This should tell us that foolish talking and jesting are much more serious to the Lord than they usually are in our minds.

(Bible quote) As parents, we should teach our children what is foolish talk and direct them away from it. Too often parents excuse foolish talking because they are children. The reality, though, is that during these years our children are in our home, we want to be teaching them right conversation versus wrong conversation. If we let the foolish talking to, it will be perputuated into adulthood. All one has to do is listen to a group of average young men talking to each other to know the truth of that.

(This passage killed me.) In our family, we still occasionally talk about the foolishness of our children's Grandpa and Benny stories. They went thorugh a phase of making up stories and recording them. The theme was a fictional grandpa and Benny. The stories were totally folly and foolishness. We didn't know enough in our parenting at that point to eliminate the foolishness and direct our children to edification. Those stories have provided us a good example of foolish talking in children."

Making Great Conversationalists by Steve and Teri Maxwell

The entire book is basically about how to steer every. single. conversation around to Jesus. That's all that matters. They want you to train your kids to answer even the simplest, most common question with a long, convoluted answer that ends up with Jesus. Only edifying talk is good and the only edifying talk is about Jesus.

Imagination is trained out of them. Frivolity is trained out of them. Chitchat is trained out of them. Joking is trained out of them. So I guess it's a good thing that the Maxwells go through life joined at the hip, sharing every daily experience. That leaves them nothing else to talk about except…Jesus.

And this my friends, is why the maxwells will not be able to be really successful in the outside world. It is hard enough to deal with the work related chit chat and idle talk if you are an introvert, but if it has been trained out of you? Yeah, you are fucked.

Yet again, Steve you fucked your kids up.

[sparkles]

Steve must crap himself on a daily basis at John's behaviour, and yet what can he do?

I imagine that "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer" is a motto that Steve adheres to privately. John's ungodly departure from Maxhell could ruin Steve's business in a shot.

Apparently you can't beat every Max child into silent submission, any more than you can beat the love of porn out of a Duggar. :D

If/when John actually moves out of the compound, then I'll believe he's rebelled. Until then, I'm firmly of the opinion that he's still a good little sheep and that everything he does is with Steve's blessing, given freely. Steve is concerned about the brand, yes, but I think he's far more concerned about maintaining control over the family. IMO, if John were to rebel, Steve would be more likely to shun him and demand that the rest of the family do so as well. Then he could use it to further coerce the rest of the children. "See kids? Even though he's our son and brother, we cannot allow evil into our lives. We must cast him out for our own protection." If Steve gives John leeway to pursue a path other than one that's Steve approved, he weakens his position as the spiritual head of the family and it could all come tumbling down. He's spoken about shunning family members before so I wouldn't put it past him to shun his own son. And if he were to kick out John, I also wouldn't put it past him to lie about it either. It would be very easy to explain away his absence.

[blessalessi]

I think it would be easier to organise a shunning in a younger family. But I think there is too great an extended family to control the situation now. Gigi, Teri's sister and family, Melanie's family, Elissa's mom, Jon Marie and the Demcacks in the irrigation.....there are so many people that Steve could not influence.

[Black Aliss]

That photo looks strange to me.......I cannot quite put my finger on it.

Like maybe John having his chest pumped out like a grouse in mating season?

[banjobaby]

I have never understood scheduling time to talk with your children, either by the Maxwells or Duggars. Most people just start conversations with family because they are in the same room or go look for them. So kids aren't allowed to run into the house screaming "mommy, mommy, you won't believe what is just saw"? They just wait until their scheduled day and time? What do you do if you have a pressing need to discuss something and your time to speak isn't until Friday at 3pm. Doesn't this just teach you to suppress your feelings since you are not allowed to express them until the proper time? No wonder the maxwell kids are bland robots.

I think most of us naturally talk to our kids in the car while taking them to extracurricular activities, or when we take them for Sonic after school or on a Saturday afternoon. Those times are naturally worked in because we actually do things outside of the house, and each family member has individualized activities. Not so with the Maxwells and Duggars. They are in their houses or traveling all together all the time. I understand this to some extent because I homeschooled for ten years, and it is difficult to have time with each child when everyone is home all the time. But, my kids did sports, music lessons, and such, and our best talking time seemed to be in the car.

Still, there would be times when I would be at home, cooking or folding clothes or even just watching TV, and a kid would come up and we'd chat for a while. Sometimes, it was idle nonsense, which apparently is evil in Maxhell, but, sometimes, it was an important thing to the kid and not to be brushed off until another time. Even a child's "idle nonsense" and silly stories can be so valuable in learning who they are and how they think.

Maybe all the hyper-scheduling and chore-assigning, saddled with everyone staying home all day, stifles those natural times? I say all this to say: I don't understand it, either!

The Maxwells have a knack for taking the simplest things in life and over-thinking and over-scheduling them to the nth degree. :cray-cray:

[Dru]

I think one of the reversals going rogue would be a huge problem for Steve. I mean, they've never had any real outside influences; just Steve and Teri's smothering sheltering. There wouldn't be any excuse other than their poor parenting.

[sparkles]

I think it would be easier to organise a shunning in a younger family. But I think there is too great an extended family to control the situation now. Gigi, Teri's sister and family, Melanie's family, Elissa's mom, Jon Marie and the Demcacks in the irrigation.....there are so many people that Steve could not influence.

I don't think he cares about anyone outside of the immediately family (marrieds included), other than GiGi, of course, and she's pretty much tied to them. He can't control others and never has, so if they wanted to continue to see a shunee, there's really nothing he can do about it except cut them out as well. I don't think he'd have any problems circling the wagons even tighter if he ever felt threatened.

[blessalessi]

deleted double post

[blessalessi]

I don't think Steve values the other's opinions, but I imagine he might fear their influence. For shunning to work, either to cause them to move far away or to bring someone back into the fold, you have to be able to isolate them and break their spirit. I don't think John would find himself isolated, and therefore, if Steve shunned him, he would probably be able to bunk at Nate's or Joseph's or Gigi's house. And then he'd still be right there, cracking jokes in Steve's face, unless Steve chose to isolate himself and whoever would stay back with him. It would cause a major, noticeable rift n the family and there would be absolutely fuck all to blog about.

[anjulibai]

Okay, I think Anna Marie is pregnant. I commented about the Big Brother tee, and it was not approved.

[VVV]

I think one of the reversals going rogue would be a huge problem for Steve. I mean, they've never had any real outside influences; just Steve and Teri's smothering sheltering. There wouldn't be any excuse other than their poor parenting.

Au contraire, it would be a reminder of the constant danger of SATAN, and an excuse to double down the control over the remaining Maxbots.

[PrairieGirl]

Okay, I think Anna Marie is pregnant. I commented about the Big Brother tee, and it was not approved.

Wow. Remember when they first got married and were not pregnant 1 second after that FJ was speculating they hadn't consummated yet? Guess they made up for that! :brain-bleach:

Now I am wondering too why they didn't approve your comment. When one of Mel and Nathan's kids wore a "big sister" shirt, the Maxwells specifically said that there was no bun in any oven; the child was just re-wearing a shirt.

Or maybe Steve sensed that the commenter was not holy enough. Steve wouldn't even approve a comment if Jesus himself left one.

[nausicaa]

Wow. Remember when they first got married and were not pregnant 1 second after that FJ was speculating they hadn't consummated yet? Guess they made up for that! :brain-bleach:

Now I am wondering too why they didn't approve your comment. When one of Mel and Nathan's kids wore a "big sister" shirt, the Maxwells specifically said that there was no bun in any oven; the child was just re-wearing a shirt.

Or maybe Steve sensed that the commenter was not holy enough. Steve wouldn't even approve a comment if Jesus himself left one.

Good God, if NR-Anna is pregnant again, I cannot imagine how her body is dealing. I couldn't believe she was pregnant with Lydia so soon after Ruthanne. This is like Kelly Bradrick territory.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Yes, that picture is eerie, very Twilight Zone. When I first looked at it I was concentrating on the background (because the Maxwells are so boring) and I was very taken by how green and neat and tidy everything was. Surely not their street. A public park, perhaps? But then that meant they dragged their stools out to the parking lot of a park. Why would you take the picture on the cracked asphalt of the parking lot if the beautiful green lawn is just over there.

A Photoshopped background makes so much more sense.

The next family portrait sans married son is going to look even sadder...and eventually it will just be Ter and Steve surrounded by their unmarried daughters.

Speaking of which I didn't even recognize Mary. Has her hair always been that long and pretty? I can't zoom in so someone else will have to tell me if her eyebrows are groomed or not, that will give us some idea of when this photo was taken.

[Elegant Mess]

Yes, that picture is eerie, very Twilight Zone. When I first looked at it I was concentrating on the background (because the Maxwells are so boring) and I was very taken by how green and neat and tidy everything was. Surely not their street. A public park, perhaps? But then that meant they dragged their stools out to the parking lot of a park. Why would you take the picture on the cracked asphalt of the parking lot if the beautiful green lawn is just over there.

A Photoshopped background makes so much more sense.

And the photoshopping isn't that great. The edges around the people, particularly at the shoulders, are especially easy to see. The shadows of the stools against the pavement - so inconsistent with the lighting in the background! All this just adds to the Maxwell Horror Picture Show. :cray-cray:

[Dru]

Au contraire, it would be a reminder of the constant danger of SATAN, and an excuse to double down the control over the remaining Maxbots.

I disagree. I mean sure, he'll use it as an excuse to clamp down even harder on the rest of the "children", but it will definitely hurt what's left of his brand.

[mango_fandango]

Good God, if NR-Anna is pregnant again, I cannot imagine how her body is dealing. I couldn't believe she was pregnant with Lydia so soon after Ruthanne. This is like Kelly Bradrick territory.

The fastest conception-after-delivery I've ever heard of was from Erika Shupe of LFoP. She gave birth to Tyler in January 2009, and then gave birth to Spencer in December 2009- there's a gap of 10.5 MONTHS between them. Then, between Spencer and the twins, there's an 11-month gap. But if NR Anna is preggers, I'm not surprised. She is definitely the most fundie of the wives- she's always in a frumper.

[anjulibai]

Wow. Remember when they first got married and were not pregnant 1 second after that FJ was speculating they hadn't consummated yet? Guess they made up for that! :brain-bleach:

Now I am wondering too why they didn't approve your comment. When one of Mel and Nathan's kids wore a "big sister" shirt, the Maxwells specifically said that there was no bun in any oven; the child was just re-wearing a shirt.

Or maybe Steve sensed that the commenter was not holy enough. Steve wouldn't even approve a comment if Jesus himself left one.

To the bolded: To be fair, taking a year to conceive is unusual in fundie land. Either it means the couple is purposely use birth control (not happening with particular couple), they couple has fertility problems (possibly, but what are the odds, especially when Melanie had issues), or they are just not yet having sex.

To the italicized: I was thinking the exact same thing, because I remembered that.

And no, Jesus is not holy enough for Steve. Only Steve is holy enough.

[Odd1Out]

They really need to let the Arndt brothers do their photoshopping. Or just do their photography all together. However this odd photo is way better than the creepy one on the church steps a few years ago.

[nokidsmom]

I don't think he cares about anyone outside of the immediately family (marrieds included), other than GiGi, of course, and she's pretty much tied to them. He can't control others and never has, so if they wanted to continue to see a shunee, there's really nothing he can do about it except cut them out as well. I don't think he'd have any problems circling the wagons even tighter if he ever felt threatened.

To the bolded: yes, totally agree. What matters to Steve is what goes on in the immediate family. To people like him, there's the "family" as defined by the immediate family and then there's everyone else, including the extended family, who are on the "outside". My Maxwellian parents thought the exact same way.

And as to feeling threatened, you can bet that Steveovah would circle the wagons big time. One would think that he couldn't circle them any closer given how insular they are already, but believe me, IME it is possible.

[PrairieGirl]

They really need to let the Arndt brothers do their photoshopping. Or just do their photography all together. However this odd photo is way better than the creepy one on the church steps a few years ago.

Honestly, why do they need to photoshop a background in at all? It is lovely weather now and I'll bet they could have found a nice park where they could do photos. In fact, our family just had professional photos done (since it had been about 7 years), and we just went to a place down the road. Lovely green woods and a small stream provided a simple but beautiful background for us. The only editing the photog did was to center the pictures and adjust some lighting.

Oh my the Maxwells and the Arndts together.........I don't think Steve-o or Daddy Arndt would allow all those suppressed hormones to clash. Think of the potential for disaster - why a MARRIAGE could happen!

[sparkles]

They really need to let the Arndt brothers do their photoshopping. Or just do their photography all together. However this odd photo is way better than the creepy one on the church steps a few years ago.

That one was the worst. It was so freaking creepy. It shows how out of touch they are that they thought it was friendly and inviting.