Baby shower for Elissa + What Some Might Call a Vacation!

[kpmom]

The fact that I'm even thinking about this question is disturbing, but...how are travel time and clean-up time scheduled? Does Grandma, or whoever, play with the kids for 1/2 hour less travel time? Does NR-Anna put toys away and align the carpet strands while the adult playmate is travelling?

Agree with MJB on the aligning the carpet strands. :lol:

Yes, they probably take 1 or 2 minutes off for Teri walking over and walking home. Then 5 min. for clean up.

Several min. to find out if they know where they'll go when they die.

So all told, they probably get about 15 min. of pulling toys around and taking a ball from Teri's hands.

Seriously, it's nice that the grandkids get grandparent attention and all, but the fact that they feel they have to schedule it or it might not happen, and that it's scheduled in such a limited time and structured way is beyond weird. Beyond weird even for the Maxwells, and that's saying something.

[MamaJunebug]

This has me thinking. How many Fans 0' Maxhell read this ridiculosity and say, "Ah, that's so nice! That's how WE need to do things!"

Seriously, I wonder! Does anybody find this attractive or desirable? Is there an anti-spontaneity gene? If so, it's not in my DNA and I thank heaven for that!

[church_of_dog]

This has me thinking. How many Fans 0' Maxhell read this ridiculosity and say, "Ah, that's so nice! That's how WE need to do things!"

Seriously, I wonder! Does anybody find this attractive or desirable? Is there an anti-spontaneity gene? If so, it's not in my DNA and I thank heaven for that!

Welllllll, yes and no. I'm one of those folks who is always behind on things that really ought to be basic and regular housekeeping -- mostly because I prioritize "relaxing" and "keeping up on FJ" over "sweeping" and "filing papers" :lol: :lol: :o and this makes me look pretty favorably on those with the discipline to keep up on things.

Seriously, I put myself in the middle range for this question. I do not have a huge need for variety in my life (ie I could happily eat the same thing most days, wear the same thing most days, walk the same route each time I go for a walk, etc). And in many ways the idea of routine becomes somewhat of a ritual (ie the familiarity of it takes on some positive attributes of its own) and I find that downright comforting.

At the same time, if I was actually living as routine/ritual/repeated a life as I just described, I'm quite sure I would find my personal comfort zone and really appreciate any variety to keep it from going beyond that.

So I guess I'm saying that even for those of us who find comfort in routine and who don't feel much need for spontaneity, I recognize that it's all relative and we all DO need SOME variety/spontaneity, even though our personal line of distinction is not necessarily in the same spot as everyone else's.

It has been an interesting observation I've made in recent years, how easy it is for folks (IRL, not here that I've noticed) to be judgy about their own location of that line being the only acceptable place. In other words, some people feel very strongly that "this" is the right amount of variety, and anyone who needs more or less, must be "doin' it rong." I'm sure I do this as well in some situations.

[MamaJunebug]

Previous poster (on iPhone, can't see you), I needed to hear that-- the part about being judgy. Yes, I was judgmental aplenty, above. Thank you! An eye-opener I needed.

Charitably, I can see that the Scary Teri method can be useful for gparents who want, or need to be careful with their time with the littles. Maybe the child is easily overstimulated, maybe there are family politics on being even-handed with each and every child. Being grandchildless myself, my only 2 frames of reference are Big Mama JB - who revelled in her grands!--and my own grand folks, who were old and tired and treated me with benign disinterest.

Srsly, thank you for your response!

I still find Teri to be scary. Always will, I imagine!

[Odd1Out]

I wonder if Chris & NR Anna were asked about this daily routine. Or were they told' You're kids will like us! We will infiltrate your house daily to make sure they never act shy around us!'

[church_of_dog]

Previous poster (on iPhone, can't see you), I needed to hear that-- the part about being judgy. Yes, I was judgmental aplenty, above. Thank you! An eye-opener I needed.

Charitably, I can see that the Scary Teri method can be useful for gparents who want, or need to be careful with their time with the littles. Maybe the child is easily overstimulated, maybe there are family politics on being even-handed with each and every child. Being grandchildless myself, my only 2 frames of reference are Big Mama JB - who revelled in her grands!--and my own grand folks, who were old and tired and treated me with benign disinterest.

Srsly, thank you for your response!

I still find Teri to be scary. Always will, I imagine!

MJB, I honestly wasn't thinking that you were being judgy -- I was just saying that I have experienced people in my real life being judgy on this topic of where is the "correct" line between variety and routine.

A good example might be hair-washing -- some people wash their hair every day. Some of those folks do that because their hair gets oily if they wait any longer. Others keep that schedule simply because they've been taught that's the proper way. Whatever works for them, I have no problem with it (until we start talking about things like ways to conserve water during a drought, etc, lol). But when they then look at me when I say I don't do that and instantly judge me as wrong -- that's when I get irked. Does my hair looks stringy and gross? Does it smell? No? Then what exactly is their problem with me not adhering to their schedule? It's simply the idea that there is only one right way to do things.

I also tend to order the same things over and over when I eat out. I find a favorite and order it for months before I decide to venture to something else. Not everyone would like that, but it works for me. No problem until someone decides to "tease" me about it. Grrr...

Anyway, I'm glad you appreciated my post (and it's church_of_dog, btw, since you can't see who's posting from your phone) but I just wanted to be sure you knew it wasn't aimed at your post or at anyone here.

[kpmom]

church_of_dog (have always loved your avatar and name, btw), I like routine too.

I have a schedule for house cleaning. It's not time based like the Maxwells, but I try to do certain rooms on certain days. It's so easy to put off mindless chores like housekeeping and laundry if I don't.

That way the house is always fairly presentable when people come over.

And our days of the week, especially during the school year, run pretty routinely.

But, I have such a hard time picturing scheduling a specific amount of time, on specific days, doing specific activities with any grandkids I might have in the future.

It just seems so odd. For a mindless task like housekeeping and laundry I like having a bit of a schedule.

But, for interacting with any future grandkids? Even for the Maxwells it seems kind of out there.

[church_of_dog]

church_of_dog (have always loved your avatar and name, btw), I like routine too.

I have a schedule for house cleaning. It's not time based like the Maxwells, but I try to do certain rooms on certain days. It's so easy to put off mindless chores like housekeeping and laundry if I don't.

That way the house is always fairly presentable when people come over.

And our days of the week, especially during the school year, run pretty routinely.

But, I have such a hard time picturing scheduling a specific amount of time, on specific days, doing specific activities with any grandkids I might have in the future.

It just seems so odd. For a mindless task like housekeeping and laundry I like having a bit of a schedule.

But, for interacting with any future grandkids? Even for the Maxwells it seems kind of out there.

kpmom, yes! I do agree it's odd to force any kind of kid-interaction into such a tight schedule -- it just seems like the whole point of playing and visiting requires a certain flexibility to just see how things go. Kids get cranky, or have accidents, or need an earlier nap one day, etc. And on the other end of the spectrum if they're having an extra good time or learning something really cool, it would seem to be worth letting that time go on longer.

I kind of understand scheduling something that requires leaving the house (even if it's just to go down the street, lol), but only so that everyone knows when it's time to put your shoes on or not have something on the stove at that time, etc.

I think part of why I make an idol :lol: out of scheduling is because I'm so bad at it that I'm always striving for more/better. I've tried lots of things like "for every X minutes I spent on Y chore, I get Z reward" (reward is usually FJ time, lol) -- but I haven't mastered that yet.

Back when I had a stairstepper machine and a TV (both long since gone), I used to negotiate with myself that I could watch tv as long as I was on the stepper while doing so -- and for whatever reason, that actually worked for me! If only I could figure out how to read FJ while out for my walks -- I'd totally use that to get more exercise in, lol...

And thanks for the comment about my name and avatar -- I really like your doggy photo avatar too! "kp" looks like a total sweetheart (j/k, pretending/assuming that's the dog's name, I know maybe not)

[SPHASH]

If I were Abby I would cry too when around Teri and Steve.

[Jana814]

If I were Abby I would cry too when around Teri and Steve.

Same here!!

[Jana814]

I wonder if Chris & NR Anna were asked about this daily routine. Or were they told' You're kids will like us! We will infiltrate your house daily to make sure they never act shy around us!'

I think they were told that they will like them. The probably insisted on it.

[nausicaa]

Welllllll, yes and no. I'm one of those folks who is always behind on things that really ought to be basic and regular housekeeping -- mostly because I prioritize "relaxing" and "keeping up on FJ" over "sweeping" and "filing papers" :lol: :lol: :o and this makes me look pretty favorably on those with the discipline to keep up on things.

Seriously, I put myself in the middle range for this question. I do not have a huge need for variety in my life (ie I could happily eat the same thing most days, wear the same thing most days, walk the same route each time I go for a walk, etc). And in many ways the idea of routine becomes somewhat of a ritual (ie the familiarity of it takes on some positive attributes of its own) and I find that downright comforting.

At the same time, if I was actually living as routine/ritual/repeated a life as I just described, I'm quite sure I would find my personal comfort zone and really appreciate any variety to keep it from going beyond that.

So I guess I'm saying that even for those of us who find comfort in routine and who don't feel much need for spontaneity, I recognize that it's all relative and we all DO need SOME variety/spontaneity, even though our personal line of distinction is not necessarily in the same spot as everyone else's.

It has been an interesting observation I've made in recent years, how easy it is for folks (IRL, not here that I've noticed) to be judgy about their own location of that line being the only acceptable place. In other words, some people feel very strongly that "this" is the right amount of variety, and anyone who needs more or less, must be "doin' it rong." I'm sure I do this as well in some situations.

I'm also someone who really likes scheduling. I have specific days to run specific errands, I make meal plans 10 days out, I have a month out clothing plan for work. I like routine and knowing what happens next. The difference with the Maxwells is that they think that their way is the only way, and that this somehow makes them godlier and better than others. And it's actually not "the Maxwells," it's Teri and Steve. Who knows how the [ADULT] children would want to schedule their lives if they had the choice. John for one comes off as someone who would enjoy a little spontaneity.

Get your schedule freak on, but don't be a dictator.

[Maggie Mae]

A good example might be hair-washing -- some people wash their hair every day. Some of those folks do that because their hair gets oily if they wait any longer. Others keep that schedule simply because they've been taught that's the proper way. Whatever works for them, I have no problem with it (until we start talking about things like ways to conserve water during a drought, etc, lol). But when they then look at me when I say I don't do that and instantly judge me as wrong -- that's when I get irked. Does my hair looks stringy and gross? Does it smell? No? Then what exactly is their problem with me not adhering to their schedule? It's simply the idea that there is only one right way to do things.

I had a friend in high school whose entire family lined up in the evening to wash their hair in the kitchen sink. I only knew this because I asked why they had shampoo and conditioner next to their dishes. I was confused and probably very judgemental. I'm still a little judgemental. I mean, to each their own, but why not just wash it while showering? Why the kitchen sink instead of over the tub in the bathroom?

I also had a roommate who never washed hair. He just rinsed it and his hair was fine. This, for some reason, disgusted our other roommate. I really should get into the habit of washing less, my hair was way too greasy the last time I went camping.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

My life has a definite pattern to it (Thursday morning is grocery shopping, Thursday lunch is tacos) but the difference is that I don't schedule my life in 15 minute increments from the time I get up to when I go to bed. That is where the Maxwells go overboard. Some days I want to garden for 2 hours, some days I want to garden for 3 hours and some days I don't want to garden at all-- how can you schedule that? What if I schedule myself to garden for an hour but it gets too hot or my phone rings or my neighbor wants to chat? Do they allow for spontaneous changes in the plan? What if Grandma goes over to pay but the kids are in time out for bad behavior or someone has an earache or Mommy is running behind because the morning was a disaster?

I just wonder if raising their kids with intensive schedules means the children are less able to handle emergencies or changes in plans.

[Maggie Mae]

The other thing about rigid schedules is that it makes it SO easy to just not do a task you don't want to do. If you scheduled to, say, clean the gutters on tuesday for an hour, but "stuff happens" (the neighbor stops by, the phone rings, baby needs a bottle, the ladder is buried in the garage, have to get gloves, etc) and oh, look the hour is up, got to move on to the next task (yay! dusting the ceiling fans that are already clean!) . I can easily see myself using the time to put off the stuff I didn't really want to do by dragging my butt and taking a lot of bathroom breaks during chore time.

[Pretzel]

Actually, I would love to spend a week in Maxhell -sans the indoctrination. I'd love to get to that level of organisation. My whole life I've struggled with organizing myself and I think a week in Maxhell would either help me become better at it or cure me of the idea that being completely structured is any better than the way I am.

[Jana814]

I like having a schedule when it comes to my business ( I'm a dog walker). However, some days r busier then others I always have available times to add a once in a while client. Just today I met someone new & I was a few minutes late to getting their (accidentally put the wrong street # down). But she was totally ok w/ me being a little late. However, I don't live on a 15 minute schedule thing like the Maxwells do.

[Black Aliss]

I think it's great that Teri, et al, make it a point to play with the grandkids. I noticed some commenters saying how they wished someone would have come to play with their small children so that they could have had 30 minutes to do . Except it's not as if Christopher is gone all day at some job. . .or is he, and Steve just doesn't want that information known?

[anjulibai]

Even if Christopher is there all day AND actively involved in caring for the kids (I doubt about that last one), it's still nice to have some time where the kids are distracted by someone else. When my dad comes to play with my 3 year old son, my husband and I are able to get a TON accomplished.

[thoughtful]

Does NR-Anna put toys away and align the carpet strands while the adult playmate is travelling?

:lol:

Perhaps "Aligning the carpet strands in Maxhell" should be a post count title.

[SassyPants]

Here's how I look at schedules:

What happens if the scheduled activity at 0800 on Monday morning is missed? Can you function and move on to the 0900 activity or is your day and week shot?

For many people, the day/week would be shot.

For those schedule diehards who cannot regroup and move on, I feel sorry.

[VGL]

Here's how I look at schedules:

What happens if the scheduled activity at 0800 on Monday morning is missed? Can you function and move on to the 0900 activity or is your day and week shot?

For many people, the day/week would be shot.

For those schedule diehards who cannot regroup and move on, I feel sorry.

At work I have a task that I do first thing every morning when I get in.

I can't do this task until I get paper work from 4 other people. 3 of the 4 are punctual with their paperwork and it is waiting for me when I get in. The 4th person is not very prompt with his paperwork and it is throwing my mornings off.

It also messes up the schedule of the people that need me to finish this task so they can do part of their work. Except the payroll guy. He says if they don't get the paperwork in on time, they don't get paid.

[blessalessi]

I have ADHD-Inattentive and I think that is why I am so fascinated by the Maxwells, above any other fundies. :lol:

There is a part of me that is in awe of their very beautifully kept (if strangely decorated) home, and of their fucking fantastic work ethic. But there is a larger part of me that know I would personally rather eat my own eyeballs than perform the same tasks in the same 15 minute increments, every-fucking-week-of-the-year. The boredom would kill me, if Steve didn't kill me first for my insubordination.

I like to imagine that if I were a Maxwell, I would be like Have-a-Go-Anna who puts the MaxBoys to shame with her insatiable curiosity to explore All The Skills... from electrical installation, to food technology, and through information technology to interior design. Despite her limitations as a female woman, I think she totally rocks. :D

In reality, I think I am much more like John the Rebel; I would have been beaten daily as a child and, at this stage in my life, I would be taunting Steve by taking as many freedoms as I could manage, and would be prayerfully reminding him that I would be the one taking charge of his care in his dotage, for that long, frail season of life before Death, where the tables would finally be turned, and he would be utterly incapable of wielding any more evil power over his family...... :twisted:

[Odd1Out]

In the latest post, Sarah tells of how years ago the reversals named a stream that they crossed 'Diesel Dad's Crossing' but does not explain why it was named that.

And of all days they don't have an actual camera with a zoom or long lense on it, they see a moose but it's too far away to get a good cell phone pic. Finally a chance to see something other than maxwells in the pic and we can only read about it. (There are a couple of far away shots of it).

Jesse got to be the lone manly man on this hike.

[anjulibai]

Interesting that Steve and John stayed back.