Duggars By the Dozen - General Discussion - Part 12

[homeschoolmomma1]

I LOVE the history of the Titanic and I was looking at the dinner menus tonight and I got to talking to my husband. What would the Duggars be like if on the Titanic?

 

Of course he said demanding, however I said we have to consider what place and time would we place the Duggars. With 14 kids and no money from TLC or today with grand kids.

 

We also know the fate of the Titanic.

 

So I guess just for a fun thread. What would the Duggars be like on the Titanic? Before and after the hit of the iceberg

 

For fun I thought it should still be 1912 and TLC could be something besides TV that the Duggars would pimp their kids out. Also, big families were not that uncommon.

 

So it might be best to say the Titanic if it sailed in 2015.

 

Whatever your imagination comes up with

[ILoveJellybeans]

Michelle and Jimbob would drop everything and try and get on a lifeboat, leaving their kids to rescue eachother.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Josh would also save only himself and his phone. All others be damned.

[TheDarkSideoftheMoonPie]

I imagine Michelle would collect all the babies and take a lifeboat for them. Once she got to the remote island, she'd call for Jana and realize her mistake.

[Seven]

1. Mechelle uses her baby home school voice to try to explain (incorrectly) what a ship wreck is.

2. Boob mentions that most families wait to get to a dock before they exit a ship, but in his family its normal and more godly to do things in a bigger way.

3. Boob and Mechelle will get into their boat and start date night.

4. After someone throws Josie in their raft Boob will encourage her to start blowing kisses to the people still on deck.

5. Jana is off sewing life jackets.

6. Josh is taking selfies.

7. Anna is drooling over Josh with that psycho smile and google eyes.

8. Jill and Derrickdillard kick a few cats out of the way and create an anniversary date to remember.

9. The lost kids play violin while they drown waiting to be saved by their family.

10. Jessa and Binseewald make sure they aren't around any Catholics while Jessa pushes their boat off the deck.

[nana sew dear]

JB would be arguing with the ticket agent for the White Star Line, trying to get a price reduction. When he doesn't succeed he would make the older kids responsible for the younger ones and stow them away on a cargo ship. JB and DQ would go first class on the Titanic, of course. After the iceberg, Michelle would preach to the other women how it is important to sacrifice themselves for their husband's survival and suggest they head to their cabins once more to allow their husbands sweet fellowship.

They would also roll their eyes and be rude about the food.

[Seven]

They would make sure that no LGBT people are able to board a lifeboat.

[Cassielfsw]

In 1912 it would depend on what class they were traveling.

Third class: The women (but not the kids) have about a 50% chance of getting on a lifeboat. Everyone else is pretty much screwed.

First or second class: The women and children are safe. The men are still screwed.

In 2015: Everyone would be okay because now there are safety regulations for this kind of thing. :p

[clueliss]

Josh would also save only himself and his phone. All others be damned.

I picture Josh acting like the Billy Zane character from the movie.

[Bugaboo]

Dim Bulb & Michelle: Wouldn't even realize the ship was sinking. They'd be too busy plowing each other in their cabin.

Jessa & Ben: Locked in their cabin by Michelle until they produce a grandbaby, which is moot point since the ship is going down.

Derick and Jill: Getting to a lifeboat, Jill clinging on to Derick if he gets one step ahead, and of course she has her My Breast Friend strapped on with Dilly in tow.

Anna: Doe eyes.

[homeschoolmomma1]

1. Mechelle uses her baby home school voice to try to explain (incorrectly) what a ship wreck is.

2. Boob mentions that most families wait to get to a dock before they exit a ship, but in his family its normal and more godly to do things in a bigger way.

3. Boob and Mechelle will get into their boat and start date night.

4. After someone throws Josie in their raft Boob will encourage her to start blowing kisses to the people still on deck.

5. Jana is off sewing life jackets.

6. Josh is taking selfies.

7. Anna is drooling over Josh with that psycho smile and google eyes.

8. Jill and Derrickdillard kick a few cats out of the way and create an anniversary date to remember.

9. The lost kids play violin while they drown waiting to be saved by their family.

10. Jessa and Binseewald make sure they aren't around any Catholics while Jessa pushes their boat off the deck.

haha #4

[Arrowoftruth]

I imagine Jessa as Rose and Ben as Jack (but less smart and less hot) and so when Rose floating atop the drift wood and notices Ben has frozen to death she just looks at him like

before pushing him off into the depths of the ocean. Then she grumbles about how they only got it in once.

[Phoenix]

Michelle immediately claims women and children first. Once she is seated in a lifeboat and given Josie to sit on her lap she gazes tearfully back at Jim Bob as her boat is launched and then staunchly refuses to share her lifeboat bench seat with a third class passenger because they might have lice.

Once he has all the lost boys and girls on lifeboats, Jim Bob swipes Jill's flowered headband, steals a robe from the spa and tries to get on the last life boat posing as a woman. His helmet hair gives him away and he is told to step back or be shot. His desperate leap into the lowering life boat is arrested by a shot in the back of his head from an irritated Titanic officer. Already overfilled, the occupants of the boat dump him overboard. His body is never recovered.

Jessa organizes the lifeboats for the first class passengers, then slips aboard one when Ben isn't looking. Ben goes down with the ship and Jessa meets a nice young doctor on the rescue ship whom she marries six months later.

Josh gets the M kids on a lifeboat but cannot pry Anna from his body, so they both drown.

Jill and Derick risk their lives rounding up orphans in third class. Jill has little Israel on her hip the whole time. Jill swears Derick is John Jacob Astor's butler, getting him a seat on her lifeboat. They are hailed as hero's of the Titanic and invited to a dozen different mission programs around the world.

John David refuses to leave his card game in second class and dies a wealthy man. The woman he is courting successfully sues's the White Star line for his lost gambling profits.

As the ship slides under the waves, Ben talks a couple of Catholic men into jumping into the sea, making sure they won't be in HIS heaven which doesn't accept suicides.

Jinger pulls a Rose, hides the fact she survived from those on the rescue ship and runs off with an up and coming photographer. Her new sweetheart was part of the media sent to photograph the survivors by the New York Times. They live blissfully in sin in his penthouse with stunning views of Central Park because it turns out he was a trust fund kid who only works in photography because he loves it. He teaches Jinger everything he knows.

Jana takes care of the younger Duggars as Michelle weeps and wails for the cameras over the loss of Jim Bob. Headlines around the world proclaim, "Grieving Duggar Widow Finds Strength in the Lord to Endure."

Jana adopts the M kids and moves to Alaska. Michelle cannot handle raising her own children, goes insane and lives out her final years cooing to a baby doll in a mental institution.

TLC cancels the show for lack of interest.

[CorruptionInc.]

Mullet would claim her first. Because she is so holy with her gaggle of children. More so than all the other sinners on the boat!

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Well likely they'd be circus performers as "the freaks," since it would have been the only way to make money off having no talent or work ethic. So they'd be bottom of the boat. They'd have been locked in the stairwell. MAYBE some of the children would have been spared, but that's very unlikely. So they all would have drowned.

edited cause I didn't see the "today" clause

Well, since the titanic, all ships are required to have enough lifeboats. I imagine the closest they'd get would be one of those ship breaks down and for some reason we can't evaccuate to the surrounding ships things.

So they'd get sick. All of them. And some kids might find new families to join. No one would notice. Then there would be a TLC special about trying to find the missing kids when the boat docked. At least one kid (probably Justin) would not even be noticed to be missing.

[Bethella]

I think they'd be down in steerage, where they lock themselves into their rooms to pray for the protection of their souls from all the heathens on board. They're praying so fervently that if they notice the collision they think it is God raining down his judgment on the heathens and completely ignore the warnings to abandon ship. Safe in the arms of Jesus the entire Duggar family drowns together.

[morri]

Or they would huddle in a corner do some prayers and speak about gods way to end it? Otherwise mchelle and boob going for a run letting the kids save themselves

[16strong]

Michelle would stand outside of the smoking room and protest the sale of alcohol.

[Walking Cat Bed]

Jana and Joy would round up Johanna and the Lost Girls (and any of the boys that will fit) and quietly get a lifeboat. And then disappear. Nobody will see them after rescue.

Jinger would have been "witnessing" to (Christian) artistic people and will end up on a lifeboat with them. She will also disappear and join a Christian artist commune.

Jill, Derick, and Izzy will be on one of the last boats after making sure others get to safety. After rescue they'll sweetly interview and focus on how they were just doing the Lord's will in a trying time.

Jessa will manage to get on a lifeboat with suitably "wealthy" people after she leaves Ben to whatever Feats of Strength he's engaging in. If she meets up with Ben again, she'll make a show of how heartbroken she was that they were separated.

The older boys...hard to say. Some might be with Ben, showing off their masculinity. Some might help others get to safety. Most would probably find a quiet life and more or less follow the fundy life formula, but without cameras.

Josh&Anna + kids and JimBob&Michelle + Josie will be in the first few lifeboats. They will spend their lifeboat time figuring out how to spin this as religious testimony. And make it as public as possible as long as people will listen.

[VelociRapture]

The ideas on this thread are amazing. Seriously guys, I love it. :clap:

If it happened today:

- I think JB would make sure his wife, daughters, grandchildren, and younger sons were all put into life boats first. He may be many things, but I highly doubt he would let any of them drown if there weren't enough life boats.

- Michelle would pay attention to Josie in the boat and would laugh each time she attempted to splash someone with icy water. Jana, Jinger, Jessa, and Joy would be responsible for the other kids. Anna and Jill would look after their own, but Jill would likely help Joy with her old buddy group as well. Jana and Joy TH about praying for strength.

- Jinger will push her child watching duties onto Jana in order to spend more time attempting to convert their fellow survivors.

- Josie and Jordyn TH: "Where you scared in the boat?"

Jordyn: "Yeah, but -"

Josie: (Singing) "JESUS LOVES ME!"

- Michelle TH will discuss how they told the kids the story about Noah to make them feel better. Flashback to an episode where they taught them about Moses.

- Boob and the older sons would "assist" the crew in keeping people calm and ordered. This would mostly consist of Boob making lame jokes and getting in the way, while the boys actually did most of the useful work. JD would look as if he was ready to hit his father over the head with an oar.

- There would be several THs about how difficult it was for the women to leave their men behind, but they had to obey them because Jebus. And there would be THs about how relieved the husbands are that their wives and kids were safe, but how sad they were to think they'd never see them again.

- TH from Ben discussing how he's a horrible sinner and wishes he had more time to ready himself for eternal damnation (because as a horrible sinner that's where he would be going). He would get emotional discussing his fears for Jessa's future.

- Josiah would be there the entire time, just silently in the background where no one notices him. Ben and Derick occasionally pay attention to him, but no one else seems to care.

- Emotional TH from Derick discussing how he prays that Jebus will look after his wife and son. Also discusses how he hopes his son will grow to be a Godly man who does the Lord's work. Despite the urge to gag, will probably be one of the more genuine moments of the disaster.

- TH from Josh. Discussing his wife and kids. Accidentally slips and claims to be grateful there aren't more of the M kids for Anna to care for. Realizes what he says, shrugs, and says, "Screw it. I'm about to die, so now is the time for a little honesty."

- Flashback montages of the three couples during courtship, wedding, and marriage during the above mentioned THs.

- At some point there would be a circle jerk prayer circle led by Boob and Josh. Miraculously, right afterwards, JD (who was silently attempting to move away from his father) would come across more lifeboats, which would allow all of them to survive. Praise Jebus!

- More THs featuring the married couples. Wives would praise their husbands for doing God's work and being so brave. Husbands would say they're just thankful to the Lord for his grace and protecting their families.

- JD would sit silently, wondering why on earth no one is thanking him for noticing those life boats. Josiah would be silent next to him, grateful that no one is noticing him. Jenny would be curled up next to Jill, pretending she is someone else entirely.

- They would be rescued and, upon landing safely in New York, they would immediately schedule press appearances during which the entire family praises Jebus for saving them.

If it happened in 1912:

- Third Class. Rock Falls. Everyone Dies. The End. :nenner:

[Eternalbluepearl]

This thread is hilarious. I'm just picturing Michelle, Jim Bob, and Tiny, Precious, Sweet Little Baby Josie getting into a life boat and assuming Jana will cover the rest. Thanks for the laughs! :lol:

[Taylor02542]

Jim Bob would make sure his sons and sons-in-law (Jason and up) stayed on board in order to help save other people and minister the word of God to them while they're getting on the life rafts. They'd say goodbye to Michelle, the girls, and all of the little kids on a raft, except for Justin (who let's face it everyone will forget in this moment of time).

On the life raft, they interview the wives. Michelle goes first with an interview of how she's sure the Lord will protect everyone and insure the safe returns of her husband and sons, along with her sons-in-love. Jill and Anna go next with tearful interviews about how they're going to miss their husbands so much and fear for their safety. Jessa goes last with a look of "who cares" on her face, and bluntly says "well you know, sh!t happens." Michelle instantly in a shocked tone says "JESSA!" and goes onto explain that Jessa is just so distraught that she doesn't know what she's saying, meanwhile Jessa is behind her shrugging.

Back on the Titanic, they interview Derick and Ben. Derick has a tearful interview about how he regrets getting on the boat and how he prays that the Lord will protect his wife and young son.

Ben has spent his time on the boat finding a pen and paper to write his last love letter to Jessa, which he says for the camera. He reminds Jessa that she's the love of his life and that he'll always Cherish her. He also includes that death cannot break their love for one another and that she'll always hold his heart.

Later, they form a prayer circle and a watching boat captain is reminded of being raised in the Catholic Church and feels that God would want him to save as many Christians as possible. He goes over and offers them one of the last life rafts. On the way to it, Jim Bob asks the man his life story, to which the man shares about his Catholic fsith. This sends Ben into a rampage about how the man is going to spend an eternity in hell. JD, Joseph, and Josiah yank Ben onto the life raft and cover his mouth before he can ruin their chance at survival for them.

They're reunited with the reat of the family where Jessa fake cries and Derick and Jill promise to never let go of each other again.

Justin has been saved on a different raft and is returned to his family once authorities track them down to which Michelle fakes shock and acts as if she's been worried sick about him, only to later question him about why he snuck back onto the ship.

[clueliss]

Okay my full blown version (warning I dabble in fiction writing). Since we not that long ago had the Costa Concordia and going to do the Titanic/Costa Concondria with Duggars aboard. The ship is sinking.

Jill and Derrick with ID in a sling gathers her buddy group. Derrick realizes that the boat is listing slightly in the wrong direction and goes to a better life boat station and talks the crew into letting people aboard the lifeboats. They hustle promptly onto a life boat. All have life jackets. Jill organizes a sing along of Chrisitan hymns to help everyone stay calm. In reality they want to toss the crazy singing lady over the side.

Josh and Anna with the M's in tow are on the wrong side of the boat. The right station. Maybe. The crew ignores Josh's pleas to let them on the lifeboats and ignores the fact that their side of the ship is listing in the wrong direction. Josh tries to say "Babies. We have babies. We have to get the babies off." Anna does her 'isn't he just the greatest smile.' All M's are crying.

Jessa & Ben thanks to Jessa's organizational skills and her memorizatoin of all stations and routes in the ship go to their station. See Josh & Anna's spectacle and hustle the opposite direction. Ben accomplishes super human feats of strength to save others and get Jessa (possibly pregnant) to a lifeboat station. They get on a lifeboat which takes off and only then does Jessa check her phone to check on the safety of the rest of her family.

JB & Michelle tell the rest to grab their instruments and go entertain folks. Howlers and lost girls make a run for it. JD, Joseph and Josiah - led by JD - are helping people get from the wrong side of the boat (where the life boats won't fall into the water) to the now lifting side of the boat. They find Josh/Anna and the M's. JD and Josiah crack jokes as the trio rescue big bro and his family.

Halfway to the rising side of the boat, the trio finds Jana, Jinger and Joy who have rounded up all howlers and lost girls. Well, wait one moment, it did take Tonto (Johannah) to realize that the Lone Ranger (Jackson) was goofing around somewhere and missing, rounded him up all by herself and took him back to his sistermom, Jana. The two groups join together, form a human chain and first crawl to the side of the boat - which is nwo the top. They then, huamn chain format, crawl down the side and into the water and are picked up by rescue boats.

Meanwhile, JB had decided it was the perfect time to smooch Michelle. They got carried away and lost track of everyone. Michelle cries out for Baby Josie (who of course is with the sister moms). JB leads Michelle to the top (really side) of the ship. Michelle remembers her high school glory days and does a dive over the side worth of Esther WIlliams then begins to swim. JB shrugs and begins crawling for the water like everyone else.

JB tries to swim for it like Michelle but has a heart attack and dies in the water. Michelle sees JB drowning, tries to save him and insists on dragging his body onto the lifeboat. They humor her long enough to get her aboard and chuck him over the side.

They appear on news outlet specials all over the world telling their horror story. Except Michelle who is reduced to wide eyed crazy eyed stares and the phrase precious babies. Must save precious babies.

Jill adopts her minor buddy team siblings and raises them. Decides not to have a zillion kids was a result.

Jessa & Ben, based on their previous claims to want to adopt lots of children, are pressured into raising the rest of her under aged siblings. Except Josie who decidesd to go live with Derrick's cured of cancer mom.

Jinger and Jana meet fabulous men who take them far away from fundy land.

[VixenToast]

So you wanna go to a real party?

Jana Rose be like, "ummm yeah!"

If I remember correctly, many steerage passengers chose not to split their families up but stayed together (and no doubtedly prayed together) to perish.

The Goodwin family had A BAJILLION kids, and they all died because they refused to be separated.

I can totally see J'booby cross dressing in order to score a seat in a lifeboat.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I imagine Jessa and Ben would get out of it alive because they'd jump at the chance to NOT join her family on vacation.