History of White Wedding Dresses

[FundieWatcher]

I have NEVER, not once, been to a wedding that served alcohol or had dancing.

Every single wedding I have been to was the exact same :20 minute ceremony, then to the church basement for punch, cake & finger food, and then out to the parking lot to throw birdseed and/or blow bubbles as the couple departs.

Every one that actually got married, that I was acquainted with, was either Southern Baptist or Pentecostal. Or their parents were paying for the wedding and they had to follow their rules. Or they didn't want to upset grandma who was super religious. Whatever the reason, I have never been to what mainstream Americans think of as a wedding celebration. And I am not, nor have ever been fundie. My parents are Methodist. I'm in Scott Brown's area- lots of strict religious people.

I was working at a restaurant when a co-worker got was getting married. Her Pentecostal grandfather married the couple. So no drinking/dancing. The bride didn't believe that way, but it was grandpa's church and she was fine without alcohol and dancing (or music). I felt so bad for her. People actually wouldn't come because of that. That big church was pretty much empty.I would guess there were maybe 20 guests. 2 co-workers from Buffalo, NY refused to go, they said they had never heard of a wedding without drinks and declared that would be boring. Truthfully, I think they were intimated. The whole concept was strange to them and they haven't ever been around fundies before. And they were maybe worried they would see something, like speaking in tongues, and they would be uncomfortable or out of place or just out right unwelcome.

[nokidsmom]

I have NEVER, not once, been to a wedding that served alcohol or had dancing.

Every single wedding I have been to was the exact same :20 minute ceremony, then to the church basement for punch, cake & finger food, and then out to the parking lot to throw birdseed and/or blow bubbles as the couple departs.

Every one that actually got married, that I was acquainted with, was either Southern Baptist or Pentecostal. Or their parents were paying for the wedding and they had to follow their rules. Or they didn't want to upset grandma who was super religious. Whatever the reason, I have never been to what mainstream Americans think of as a wedding celebration. And I am not, nor have ever been fundie. My parents are Methodist. I'm in Scott Brown's area- lots of strict religious people.

I was working at a restaurant when a co-worker got was getting married. Her Pentecostal grandfather married the couple. So no drinking/dancing. The bride didn't believe that way, but it was grandpa's church and she was fine without alcohol and dancing (or music). I felt so bad for her. People actually wouldn't come because of that. That big church was pretty much empty.I would guess there were maybe 20 guests. 2 co-workers from Buffalo, NY refused to go, they said they had never heard of a wedding without drinks and declared that would be boring. Truthfully, I think they were intimated. The whole concept was strange to them and they haven't ever been around fundies before. And they were maybe worried they would see something, like speaking in tongues, and they would be uncomfortable or out of place or just out right unwelcome.

Where I am from, drinks and dancing are the norm, you get a weird look if you have a wedding with absolutely no drinking or dancing. I nearly had that because of my parents' rules but did end up with the dancing and wine.

I went to only one wedding that was dry and no dancing: that of my recently-turned-fundie cousin. It was strictly members of their KJV only church and family, entertainment was the kids reciting bible verses.....

[Cartmann99]

I have NEVER, not once, been to a wedding that served alcohol or had dancing.

Every single wedding I have been to was the exact same :20 minute ceremony, then to the church basement for punch, cake & finger food, and then out to the parking lot to throw birdseed and/or blow bubbles as the couple departs.

Every one that actually got married, that I was acquainted with, was either Southern Baptist or Pentecostal. Or their parents were paying for the wedding and they had to follow their rules. Or they didn't want to upset grandma who was super religious. Whatever the reason, I have never been to what mainstream Americans think of as a wedding celebration. And I am not, nor have ever been fundie. My parents are Methodist. I'm in Scott Brown's area- lots of strict religious people.

I was working at a restaurant when a co-worker got was getting married. Her Pentecostal grandfather married the couple. So no drinking/dancing. The bride didn't believe that way, but it was grandpa's church and she was fine without alcohol and dancing (or music). I felt so bad for her. People actually wouldn't come because of that. That big church was pretty much empty.I would guess there were maybe 20 guests. 2 co-workers from Buffalo, NY refused to go, they said they had never heard of a wedding without drinks and declared that would be boring. Truthfully, I think they were intimated. The whole concept was strange to them and they haven't ever been around fundies before. And they were maybe worried they would see something, like speaking in tongues, and they would be uncomfortable or out of place or just out right unwelcome.

To be honest, every wedding I've ever attended (including my own), meets the above description. The only reason I know drinking, dancing, and sit-down dinners are a common feature at weddings is because of books, movies, and the internet.

After my husband and I left our own punch and cake wedding reception, we went to the Golden Corral* because we were starving. :lol:

*Small town. It was either that or fast food at that hour.

[Johanna25]

Most weddings l've attended have involved a sit down dinner; some also included dancing after, some did not. The fundie type wedding makes sense if you have mostly local family and friends. Why spend a lot of money on food and entertainment if you don't have to? Most middle class family weddings today, however, involve bringing people from all over the country who you don't get to see very often. It's natural to want to make a big party out of these occasions. We see these people at weddings and funerals and you can't have a blast together at a funeral. I don't endorse the extravagant overblown American wedding industry, but honoring an important family event with far-flung loved ones is important.

[Vivi_music]

My maternal grandmother got married in the middle of WWII, while my grandfather was on a brief leave. Her "wedding" dress was simply a nice dress she owned.

Same with my grand parents. They both married during WWII and the wedding was very frugal due to wartime rationing. My grandma wore one of the nice dresses she owned and that's it.

Besides, I'm surprised some people believe white is a ''virginal'' color. Catholics know full well that the Virgin Mary is often seen wearing blue. ;) ;) ;)

[Dovenoir]

We had an early afternoon finger foods, cakes and mixer type reception. No drinking or dancing allowed by our venue. (or honor contract.)

But it was a 3 day event for traveling family with a hotel block, group meals at several restaurants and a catered dinner with the rehearsal. No one felt put out that we left at 5 for our own party.

[DaffyDill]

Queen Victoria indeed popularised white wedding dresses, as mentioned a couple of times above. The reasoning behind it was so she would stand out among the throngs of people on the day. If she had worn a dark colour, she would have been much harder to see for her subjects lining the streets. She was very conscious of the image she, and later her family with Prince Albert, projected, and was very careful to give the impression they were like every other normal family.

[Peas n carrots]

To be honest, every wedding I've ever attended (including my own), meets the above description. The only reason I know drinking, dancing, and sit-down dinners are a common feature at weddings is because of books, movies, and the internet.

After my husband and I left our own punch and cake wedding reception, we went to the Golden Corral* because we were starving. :lol:

*Small town. It was either that or fast food at that hour.

Where I'm from, no drinking/dancing is a total head scratcher. I had one friend who came from an evangelical family and had no drinking/dancing at her wedding (parents bankrolled...otherwise she would have had it) and most people were confused by this concept.

I'm from the Midwest, in an area settled by Czechs/Germans and the tavern culture has persisted. Standard wedding includes an open bar (for at least a couple hours) and a DJ.

[Ave Maria]

Queen Victoria and her husband also brought Christmas trees to England. Granted, those were an older tradition in Germany, but definitely not in England.

Personally, I don't think white is mandated or anything like that -- but it's a nice tradition if you want to do it. Same as a Christmas tree -- it's a fun tradition, and if you don't want to do it then it doesn't make you a lousy Christian or anything like that. You can celebrate Christmas without the tree, and you can get married in another color if you want.

I did the whole white dress thing -- like my mother, grandmother (one of them, the other got married in a blue suit due to the war), and at least one of my great-grandmothers.

IMO -- once people are doing something for a few generations, they often call it a tradition, at least within their family. For example, a bride who is the 3rd to carry a blue bouquet might say it's a "tradition" even if it started in the '50s with her grandma. So, in that sense, white dresses, diamond rings, and Christmas trees are all traditions for many people, even if they're "new" in terms of the bigger picture.

[busybee]

I really don't like the white wedding gown tradition. I would have loved to just wear a nice new church dress to my wedding, as I can't stand the color white and it's not that flattering on me. But we were having a small bare-bones wedding by our choice because those were our tastes. And most of our extended family wouldn't have understood not having a white white wedding dress and would have assumed we were trying to save money and would regret it one day, etc, , and I just didn't want to mess with that. So, I found a simple off-white formal-but-not-wedding-dress and wasn't happy with what I wore on my wedding day. If I could go back, I'd just nicely but firmly say that I didn't really like white dresses and gotten what I wanted. Oh, and the family expectation of a white gown had nothing to do with the white for virgins/purity, just that that's what brides wear.

[tankgirl]

I once read the purple was a popular color for a wedding dress back when purple was one of the most expensive colors to dye. Maybe not the most popular but the biggest status symbol among the wealthy.

the reality of it is most women could only afford to get married in their Sunday best or if they were lucky a new Sunday best type outfit. the thought of having a dress you only wore once was a luxury most people could not afford. The white wedding dress you wear only one time is a rather modern thing.

Purple was actually limited to only the top Royals under Sumptuary laws introduced by King Henry VIII. These laws limited what those across each class could and could not wear. Clothing materials, colors, furs and stones were all limited by your social standing. You could be fined for dressing out of your class. Purple was made with very expensive beetles, which is why it was limited.

White was seen for upper classes as it took a great deal to bleach the natural materials, but it showed your importance in the fact you had the leisure to keep your white clothing clean, and you had servants, who had the time to make and use the bleach to upkeep the white clothing as well. It would have been an impractical colour for lower classes.

White dresses did show up historically in the past, including a diamond encrusted one around the Tudor period in Europe, but it was not a common colour for dresses in any class really until Victoria. Up too that point you would have seen what ever was the top of fashion at the time, and that would have been in all classes. You would have had the best dress your class would allow, and you would have reworn the dress, across almost every class as well.

And as some one said, Victoria, like Elizabeth before her, was a major trend setter, who used fashion as part of their leadership. It made them attractive to the foreign diplomats and their own people. Victoria gave us the white wedding dress as well as many trends in mourning as some one else also said. Victoria had a big effect on trends and fashion, in her long reign.

[roddma]

I had no drinking or dance at my wedding. I grew up Church of Christ and I am not a drinker. It was a small affair at my parents house.If people choose to not come because I had dancing/drinking or no/drinking/dancing I perhaps didnt need them anyway. PS I see no harm in dancing, but as I say I grew up ChofCh and my parents still go to it.

[RosyDaisy]

My dress is pale mint green. I can hardly wait for Saturday when I get to wear it with my father walking me down the aisle in the church.

ETA: No veil just a silver headpiece. I hate veils.

[16strong]

Bon chance, Rosy! I'd love to see pictures, if you're willing. If not, at least tell us how the big day goes. :D

[Anny Nym]

That sounds beautiful, @RosyDaisy! Bon chance from me too. You are going to have a irish-themed wedding, isn´t it?

The last wedding we attended was the one of my youngest sister-in-law, who choosed to have a wedding in traditional garb:

The colour of the base dress was black with red-green flower embroidery, only the blouse underneath was plain white.

And the apron was a red and green flower pattern print.

She wore a floral wreath for the ceremony and had a little red tyrolean hat for later on.

I tell you, so. beautiful!

I loved my (white and lacey, with lace veil and my grannies lace gloves my sister and I borrowed both for our weddings) wedding dress, but DANG! s-i-l ones really got me jealous! :lol:

[NotTheMama]

My first wedding to my ex, I wore a pink Cinderella ballgown with masses of white lace and a veil, with the hugest hoop skirt I'd ever seen. We lasted a bit over a year, mostly because we got married to save our relationship, and because it was expected.

My second wedding was in my mother's living room with just my sister, my brother, who married us, and our bestie at the time. I wore a vaguely nice calico dress and my spouse wore a nice embroidered shirt.

Needless to say, my second marriage is in its 11th year and going strong. We've never regretted having a super quiet simple wedding, and we've said that if we ever do a vow renewal, it is going to take 10 minutes and then we will have a nice casual party with good food and a live band, but nothing too over the top. Only want the live band because I love swing music and it just sounds better live, y'know?