Raising Children without Religion- Secular Family Values

[keen23]

This article from Bustle came across my Facebook feed today, and I can't agree with it more: http://www.bustle.com/articles/62411-ra ... k&ts_pid=2

It heavily quotes from an OP Ed piece in the LA Times: http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la ... tml#page=1

Which in turn quotes from two different studies: http://www.pewforum.org/2012/10/09/nones-on-the-rise/ and http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-echochambers-28537149

The BBC study is very interesting, in that is shows that children raised with a very religious background are less able to distinguish fact from fiction. Putting a religious spin on stories makes it very hard for those children to be able to pick out the story as fiction. If God or Jesus is mentioned, those stories must be factual, because the Bible is factual. Scary.

[GotCaughtDancing]

The BBC study is very interesting, in that is shows that children raised with a very religious background are less able to distinguish fact from fiction. Putting a religious spin on stories makes it very hard for those children to be able to pick out the story as fiction. If God or Jesus is mentioned, those stories must be factual, because the Bible is factual. Scary.

I've seen this with family friends and even certain family members. What looks silly on a 5 year old is scary on a 25-30 year old. It has been ingrained into them so vehemently that they seem stunted intellectually. I am not saying they can't do well reading a book or making it through school, but when you try to hold a conversation with them it is disheartening.

[Blahblah]

As an atheist raising my own little atheists I was happy to read that they are much less likely to commit crimes.

[nokidsmom]

I attended a conservative evangelical Christian college and most of the student body were actually quite smart, in some respects many of them had a better elementary and high school education than I had. But many of them also came from very religious households and it was rather disconcerting to see these smart young people check their intelligence and critical thinking skills at the door when it came to church, religion, God, Jesus etc, it was like they reverted to being in Sunday School. It also was in those respects some of them were really quite gullible, all one had to do was throw in massive amounts of God, Jebus, whatever and their BS detectors switched off instantly.

And try to get these people to think about reconcilling their learning and their faith. One of my last classes was Philsophy of Religion which was taught by a former fundie. In it, he emphasized trying to have an "intelligent faith" in which he encouraged students to really think about the things they were taught earlier and try to reconcile it with their higher learning. Not so easy, some of them were really uncomfortable. They tolerated the class for their religion credit but I doubt it make any sort of mark on them. In fact, I suspect some of them were disappointed as the professor was considered one of the best at the school and here they are in class trying not to let their brains explode at what he was saying.

[Toothfairy]

My conservative friends posted and commented on this. The comments were ignorant. Children don't need god to do well. Children raised with out religion can do just as well with children who wrote raised with religion. They're just mad that someone is actually right

[Coldwinterskies]

I think one reason this may happen is not so much because of secular beliefs in themselves, but because most people end up becoming atheist in western society because they spent time thoughtfully considering their beliefs and made a conscious choice to go against the mainstream. Someone who is that deliberate and thoughtful about their secular views will probably also put thought into childrearing, I'd expect.

I would be interested in if these results would hold up if you look at societies where most people are secular (like the Scandinavian countries or parts of Asia).

[Mama Mia]

As an atheist raising my own little atheists I was happy to read that they are much less likely to commit crimes.

I think that particular statistic is actually very misleading, they aren't surveying people as to what their religious beliefs were prior to when they committed the crimes that sent them to prison. They were asking the religious beliefs of current prison inmates. Since many people seem to become religious, or convert to a new religion, in prison, the study seems misleading. Prisoners might profess religion because of despair, or remorse, or to fit in with a group, or because various prison ministries might be their only supports. Whatever the cause, surveying prisoners without identifying their beliefs prior to incarceration really doesn't say too much about tendencies to commit crimes.

I don't have strong beliefs about the benefits or drawbacks in raising children in either a secular or religious environment. Both could be good or bad depending on the parent and the beliefs. But I think there are some pretty large flaws in the rest of the conclusions. Unless they controlled for more variables than I can find.

For example : if you are throwing in the sorts of hell-fire and brimstone religious beliefs common in the Bible Belt, where there is also a higher proportion of religious people, you are going to get more racism and intolerance. If you separated out mainstream to liberal Christians, Jews, Muslims etc in more liberal areas --- would you have the same results? In other words -- is it religion in general? Or only certain brands of religion that lead to higher rates of intolerance?

I think the study regarding young children and separating fact from fiction was discussed here before. My issue with that study was that the age of the children made it seem much more sensationalistic and dramatic than is warranted. They picked children at the exact age where they are in the process of sorting out reality and fantasy. If they had asked children a year or two younger almost all of them would have had a hard time knowing what was real or fantasy. If they asked children a year or two older the religious children may very well have scored just as well as non-religious children in describing the fantasy story as a fantasy. Does it matter if a five year old believes that superman and God are equally real?

Anyway. I just really, really dislike sloppy statistics.

[whoviana]

Fundies always claim that they try to set a an example of godly childraising and live exemplary lives and they have got they key to raising a happy family.

Now. Their family values contain the following:

- limited possibilities for women to pursue goals outside the home.

- submission and obedience to their husbands.

- strict dresscode for females in the family

- no health insurance and no decent education for the kids whatsoever

- financial insecurity, people living like sardines

- total patriarchal control over women's bodies, inside and outside

- childraising involving methods of spiritual, mental, physical abuse

- children raising their siblings from a wee age

- when they are not busy fucking, they are busy to intervene current political happenings that favor civil rights such as gay marriage, abortion, etc

- shunning real sciences in order to keep kids stupid and obedient

This is a 2-person, religionless household that respects Jewish roots and traditions but other than that, we don't involve any of our origin in any of the decision to make.

We take responsibility for our own action and everything going wrong is NOT the woman's fault. We operate as two individuals and make decisions based on understanding. We accommodate ourselves to the other person's needs or duties. The world does not revolve around neither of us. We never ever interfere with other people's private business UNLESS it's clear to see that someone's in danger or their rights that they are entitled to, are being violated.

We plan on raising kids 100 percent without violence or corporal punishment. Pretty much everything that fundies do is repulsive to us.

[morri]

there was another post in the LA times about secular countries having a much lower crime rate too.

We are both atheist too, and I wouldnt push any religion down my daughters throat..

[2xx1xy1JD]

I think one reason this may happen is not so much because of secular beliefs in themselves, but because most people end up becoming atheist in western society because they spent time thoughtfully considering their beliefs and made a conscious choice to go against the mainstream. Someone who is that deliberate and thoughtful about their secular views will probably also put thought into childrearing, I'd expect.

I would be interested in if these results would hold up if you look at societies where most people are secular (like the Scandinavian countries or parts of Asia).

EXACTLY.

I read the articles and the studies that they quote. If you read the studies carefully, they really don't support any conclusions about religious vs. secular parenting in general.

Some of the studies, like the fantasy vs. reality, focused exclusively on Christian kids. The majority of the planet is not Christian. The way that religion (and the people of that religion) deals with racism, militarism, tolerance, etc. will vary wildly according to the particular religion and denomination/sect. For example, the results would be vastly different if the sample included mostly JWs, Quakers, Baha'i and Ahmaddi Muslims.

Many of the stats re "no religion" parents focused exclusively on those in the United States. The majority of the planet is not American. The United States is a far more religious country, on average, than most other Western countries. It is much less common to openly identify as having no religion, and in some areas, atheists even report fears of discrimination. So, the average atheist or agnostic parent in the United States is more likely to have come from a religious background and to have made a conscious decision to think differently about religion. In some other countries, no religion is simply the default. What the surveys that focus on "no religion" AMERICANS are really doing is focusing on a group of people who have primarily chosen to move away from their original religion and become a religious minority facing possible discrimination. When you realize that, it's a bit of a no-brainer that such a background would produce people who may think deeply about ethical issues or value tolerance, but that has nothing to do with lack of religion per se and everything to do with personal experience.

As for prison stats - that's even more skewed. Atheists in the United States are predominantly white and affluent. See http://www.washingtonpost.com/postevery ... -atheists/

Only 1% of the African-American population are nonbelievers. African-Americans make up 40% of the prison population. You'd have to be a particularly racist idiot to think that they are in prison because they are believers. The higher rates of incarceration have everything to do with centuries of racism and socio-economic problems, and it's those same factors push them toward religious groups that have long been a source of support.

Similarly, Latino Americans often face more family and social pressure to identify as religious.

Bottom line: If you are atheist, don't pat yourself on the back that your kids are less likely to go to prison. It's likely that you are white, Anglo and more educated/affluent than the average American, and therefore your kids are benefiting from a shitload of unearned privilege that has nothing to do with religious belief.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Fundies always claim that they try to set a an example of godly childraising and live exemplary lives and they have got they key to raising a happy family.

Now. Their family values contain the following:

- limited possibilities for women to pursue goals outside the home.

- submission and obedience to their husbands.

- strict dresscode for females in the family

- no health insurance and no decent education for the kids whatsoever

- financial insecurity, people living like sardines

- total patriarchal control over women's bodies, inside and outside

- childraising involving methods of spiritual, mental, physical abuse

- children raising their siblings from a wee age

- when they are not busy fucking, they are busy to intervene current political happenings that favor civil rights such as gay marriage, abortion, etc

- shunning real sciences in order to keep kids stupid and obedient

This is a 2-person, religionless household that respects Jewish roots and traditions but other than that, we don't involve any of our origin in any of the decision to make.

We take responsibility for our own action and everything going wrong is NOT the woman's fault. We operate as two individuals and make decisions based on understanding. We accommodate ourselves to the other person's needs or duties. The world does not revolve around neither of us. We never ever interfere with other people's private business UNLESS it's clear to see that someone's in danger or their rights that they are entitled to, are being violated.

We plan on raising kids 100 percent without violence or corporal punishment. Pretty much everything that fundies do is repulsive to us.

The whole first half of your post just pisses me right off. I'm too tired to refute every bullet point, but this is exactly the kind of put-every-fundie-in-the-same-freaking-box crap that makes me insane. It is unfortunate, and extremely frustrating to me, that the most nutty and legalistic fundies seem to be the ones with blogs and such that become the representation for all of us somehow. But all the crap you're applying to all fundies is just that....a load of crap.

[2xx1xy1JD]

One thing that I will say is that these articles do support the idea that non-religious parents shouldn't just identify their position by what they are NOT - they should make it perfectly clear that they don't LACK values, they simply have a coherent set of values and beliefs which may be DIFFERENT, and which is often based on experience, history, science, reason, social science, etc. It's not simply a free for all or void.

What those values and beliefs are, however, will depend a great deal on context. There's a helluva lot of factors in a person's life other than simply religious faith.

[whoviana]

The whole first half of your post just pisses me right off. I'm too tired to refute every bullet point, but this is exactly the kind of put-every-fundie-in-the-same-freaking-box crap that makes me insane. It is unfortunate, and extremely frustrating to me, that the most nutty and legalistic fundies seem to be the ones with blogs and such that become the representation for all of us somehow. But all the crap you're applying to all fundies is just that....a load of crap.

Hi, Fundie!

Bye, Fundie!

I don't give a flying fuck about you and I'll just mute you, but this isn't exactly a fundie playground. Careful, huffy-puff, you might end up having a stroke.

[Evilbad]

I was raised with a catholic family, and my stepdad's side of the family was evangelical christian. My stepdad's mother, who babysat us often, was horribly abusive to me, and treated me terribly in the name of jesus. My catholic side of the family was awesome, and I adored them.

I am now atheist, and I'm very happy with that choice. I don't feel that lack of religion excuses me from a social obligation to help where I can. My son is 14, and currently leaning towards agnostic. We've exposed him to several different forms of religion, and one of his closest friends (and ours) is mormon. This is a choice he has made for himself. Not because of abuse or bad teachings, but because my son literally sees the world in black and white, and the idea of some deity in the sky choosing his fate based on arbitrary rules makes absolutely no sense to him. However, his dad and I have instilled in him a strong sense of volunteerism, community, and charity for the sake of helping and giving. Nobody should need a god to put their feet to the fire before they get out and help other people.

He also stands up for kids in school who get bullied (and he's no small fry, so he's physically able to handle himself if needed) and doesn't put up with other people being jerks. He's been exposed to family and friends of many faiths, colors, and backgrounds, and he just accepts them. He's still a typical teen in many ways, but he is, at heart, a good person, and this was all done without religious guidance.

However, this is completely anecdotal, and I do also sort of agree with the PP who stated that the stats are a bit skewed. I have met more born again evangelicals among those who are recovering from addiction (so usually drug-related charges) or who are recently released from prison/jail. And hey, if it gives them a way to stay clean or lead a better life, I'm good with it, but the numbers are skewed because of those stats.

I do think that there is something to the idea that, people from strict religious backgrounds sort of lose their sense of purpose when they become adults and realize that their parents were wrong. I can't imagine how that feels for them.

[formergothardite]

The whole first half of your post just pisses me right off. I'm too tired to refute every bullet point, but this is exactly the kind of put-every-fundie-in-the-same-freaking-box crap that makes me insane. It is unfortunate, and extremely frustrating to me, that the most nutty and legalistic fundies seem to be the ones with blogs and such that become the representation for all of us somehow. But all the crap you're applying to all fundies is just that....a load of crap.

So the fundies you know:

do not believe in wifely submission?

believe that men and women are equal in all ways and that includes in the church, so women can have the same leadership roles as men?

encourage their daughters to do whatever they want to do and pursue careers if that is their desire?

they don't stress modesty for women? So a woman wearing shorts and bikini top at the beach is not seen as bad or as immodest?

They give their children a quality education and that includes science and history so they teach evolution and not a six day creation and they do not teach their children the view that America is a Christian nation and always has been?

if they cannot financially or emotionally afford more children or if having more children would negatively impact their current children's lives they use some form of birth control to limit their children?

they do not believe in patriarchy at all. So they are feminists?

they don't raise their children in a fear based religion teaching them from birth that they must be "saved" in the "right" way or they will burn in hell and that people who aren't saved will burn in hell?(being raised like this I spent my childhood having nightmares about missing the rapture or dying and not really being saved so I was tortured for eternity. Now I can't fathom teaching this to small children. It is just a horrible thing to do to them)

Because if your friends don't believe any of those things I wouldn't call them fundie Christians.

Not all fundies lack health insurance wear long skirts, starve their children, or stick their kids on shelving, though.

[whoviana]

POW! Right in the kisser. :)

[2xx1xy1JD]

...

This is a 2-person, religionless household that respects Jewish roots and traditions but other than that, we don't involve any of our origin in any of the decision to make.

We take responsibility for our own action and everything going wrong is NOT the woman's fault. We operate as two individuals and make decisions based on understanding. We accommodate ourselves to the other person's needs or duties. The world does not revolve around neither of us. We never ever interfere with other people's private business UNLESS it's clear to see that someone's in danger or their rights that they are entitled to, are being violated.

We plan on raising kids 100 percent without violence or corporal punishment. Pretty much everything that fundies do is repulsive to us.

I'd suggest that whether you acknowledge it or not, your origin and life journey background is going to play a role in your values and life decisions. You may not be basing those on any religious dogma, but that's not the only sort of origin or background that counts.

You have been exposed to feminism/gender equality.

You have learned to value individualism.

You value the right to privacy.

You seem to value the rights of the individual over the collective, except for clear exceptions.

Those values didn't arise out of thin air. They aren't simply a result of not being religious. They are specific values that you have picked up from exposure to societies around you, reading that you've done, your education, your life experiences based in part on your origins, etc.

If you had been raised as part of a non-religious socialist collective, for example, it's quite possible that your values might be quite different, and you'd assume that private decision-making was less important that the well-being of the group. [i'm having a flashback to the summer I spent working at a socialist summer camp, which basically taught us to encourage collective thinking in kids in a variety of ways.]

The research shows that those with no religion in the United States do tend to strongly favor individual rights. Given the fact that they are a religious minority, and the fact that the United States has a culture of support for individual rights, that's not surprising.

I'm not sure, though, that the evidence shows that those with no religion are leading the pack to the same extent when it comes to measures that would help disadvantaged groups. Are the "Nones" as anxious to demonstrate for immigration reform, universal health care, affordable child care, prison and criminal justice reform, better educational opportunities for those in poorer areas, an end to racial profiling, better laws on rape/sexual assault, etc? Sure, some are - but as a group, atheists tend to be whiter, more male, more Anglo, more educated and more affluent than the average American, and these issues are less likely to be at the very top of their agenda.

[whoviana]

Actually... the first place where I was exposed to feminism was the Internet and fist I didn't know what to say. I grew up in a very patriarchal, extremely misogynistic country where everyone watches, controls, judges, manipulates, lectures, shames, humiliates women of all ages. Women have no compassion for each other, their whole life is about keeping their territory, competing with other women and men-pleasing. :ew: :ew: :ew: :ew:

I didn't know what "patriarchy" was until I started reading feminist blogs end entries from feminists. I was totally wondering like, how can women be strong and outspoken? Where I come from, being a strong woman in a non-patriarchal way earns you to be shunned or beaten into a wheelchair. I was afraid of feminsts, but I wanted to be like them. Since I never met one until I became an adult, it took a lot of reading, online women's studies and all that stuff for me to understand that I can and I am supposed to become a feminist, too. It was my calling but no one has introduced me to all this. I had to discover it for myself. I'm past thirty but I don't care, really, I'm glad I haven't had any kids before investing efforts into finding my place and knowing that I'll be living differently from how people back there live, and I'm forming a solid platform of ideas on childraising before having a kid. At first I only knew what I didn't want for my kids - my childhood. Then, the ideas started coming. The more screwed up families and ideas I'm being introduced to, the more I know what I'm fighting against.

As to learning to value individualism - I was beaten for it by family members, hated for it by my siblings and peers, bullied into pulp by teachers and kids my age and pretty much everyone. I practically escaped home when I was 22 without giving up on my ideas as to who I am not. I wasn't spoon fed with it, and I had to put up a fight for it since childhood. It didn't come free.

There was no such thing as right to privacy. When my friends called me, my mother lurked around me and tried to listen. It was embarrassing. My own relatves discussed details of my life such as my period, my letters from boys, they kept digging up my stuff, etc. Showing each others' kds' diaries to neighbors was a form of entertainment.

I don't even have an idea where do you get all these, like I must have been introduced to this or that as a kid.

I totally book it as a compliment, that you think that it's so natural to me. I'm honored that someone thinks that with an upbringing like that, having these values are like breathing air in and out.

At first I knew what I did not want - and after that, I just kept adding things that I wanted.

Yes I do agree that people's opinions are largely influenced by their upbringing. I do. But trust me, the ones that rebel, will break free or die tryin'.

But when they break free... ;) That's when the learning process happens, and they'll dig for information and start learning about themselves, mostly from people who once were like them.

Freaking lazy to depict the whole ball of religious craziness that was going on in that family. No, I wasn't raised by independently thinking people who mutually honored each other and treasured equality within a marriage.

But you know what? Maybe my kids will.

[browncoatslytherin]

I do think that there is something to the idea that, people from strict religious backgrounds sort of lose their sense of purpose when they become adults and realize that their parents were wrong. I can't imagine how that feels for them.

well, as someone who went from fundie to agnostic to pagan, i can vouch that it is not pleasant. it's actually quite frightening at times. liberating at other times. confusing pretty much all the way through.

i have vowed that when i have kids, i don't want to raise them in any kind of religion or practice, not even my own. if they're curious, i'll certainly answer any questions to the best of my ability or direct them to appropriate sources, but i don't want to force them into anything. i want them to be curious and seek out what they feel on their own.

of course, i've thought about what if one of my children is drawn to a harmful belief system (like the brand of fundamentalism i was in). i decided that if they express interest in something like that, i'll sit them down and see what exactly they're drawn to, what makes it appealing to them, address any issues or concerns and basically go over pros and cons. if my kids turn out anything like me, they'll be able to see for themselves the unhealthy belief systems with a little reflection and thought.

of course, then again, if they turn out anything like me (or their father) then fundamentalism in any form isn't going to appeal to them. :P well, maybe as an interesting study, but not as something to practice.

[whoviana]

We're going to convert into Reform Judaism, but mainly out of respect towards SO's Family and me, because I have a small fraction of Jewish heritage, the only culture or religon that I was never introduced to. But I will never ever enforce any of it's religious aspects. We'll keep the traditions, and I'll be out, fighting tooth and nails for equality and civil rights. Human rights. And while I'm no fortune teller I think that if the kid or kids will grow up n a nurturing environment, they will never feel so lost and neglected that they'll turn to cults for guidance.

As to religion: I think I do believe that there is a God or a Source. I guess I am an agnostic, since I am not sure. And I don't think that if we have a Creator who created this great big Universe, the Creator's or the Creatrixes handiwork doesn't interfere with any aspect of science or the theory of evolution.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Actually... the first place where I was exposed to feminism was the Internet and fist I didn't know what to say. I grew up in a very patriarchal, extremely misogynistic country where everyone watches, controls, judges, manipulates, lectures, shames, humiliates women of all ages. Women have no compassion for each other, their whole life is about keeping their territory, competing with other women and men-pleasing. :ew: :ew: :ew: :ew:

I didn't know what "patriarchy" was until I started reading feminist blogs end entries from feminists. I was totally wondering like, how can women be strong and outspoken? Where I come from, being a strong woman in a non-patriarchal way earns you to be shunned or beaten into a wheelchair. I was afraid of feminsts, but I wanted to be like them. Since I never met one until I became an adult, it took a lot of reading, online women's studies and all that stuff for me to understand that I can and I am supposed to become a feminist, too. It was my calling but no one has introduced me to all this. I had to discover it for myself. I'm past thirty but I don't care, really, I'm glad I haven't had any kids before investing efforts into finding my place and knowing that I'll be living differently from how people back there live, and I'm forming a solid platform of ideas on childraising before having a kid. At first I only knew what I didn't want for my kids - my childhood. Then, the ideas started coming. The more screwed up families and ideas I'm being introduced to, the more I know what I'm fighting against.

As to learning to value individualism - I was beaten for it by family members, hated for it by my siblings and peers, bullied into pulp by teachers and kids my age and pretty much everyone. I practically escaped home when I was 22 without giving up on my ideas as to who I am not. I wasn't spoon fed with it, and I had to put up a fight for it since childhood. It didn't come free.

There was no such thing as right to privacy. When my friends called me, my mother lurked around me and tried to listen. It was embarrassing. My own relatves discussed details of my life such as my period, my letters from boys, they kept digging up my stuff, etc. Showing each others' kds' diaries to neighbors was a form of entertainment.

I don't even have an idea where do you get all these, like I must have been introduced to this or that as a kid.

I totally book it as a compliment, that you think that it's so natural to me. I'm honored that someone thinks that with an upbringing like that, having these values are like breathing air in and out.

At first I knew what I did not want - and after that, I just kept adding things that I wanted.

Yes I do agree that people's opinions are largely influenced by their upbringing. I do. But trust me, the ones that rebel, will break free or die tryin'.

But when they break free... ;) That's when the learning process happens, and they'll dig for information and start learning about themselves, mostly from people who once were like them.

Freaking lazy to depict the whole ball of religious craziness that was going on in that family. No, I wasn't raised by independently thinking people who mutually honored each other and treasured equality within a marriage.

But you know what? Maybe my kids will.

Sorry if I came across as making assumptions about your background. I should have known better. :embarrassed:

Sometimes, our origins shape us precisely because of negative experiences.

[whoviana]

OMG you are so sweet! :D PLS don't apologize, no offense taken, none was anyway. How would you know? You had your assumptions, which you are entitled to and I just said it was otherwise. :wink-kitty:

[2xx1xy1JD]

OMG you are so sweet! :D PLS don't apologize, no offense taken, none was anyway. How would you know? You had your assumptions, which you are entitled to and I just said it was otherwise. :wink-kitty:

Thanks. I still got on my high horse and went off about how the global default is neither Christian nor American, and then I sounded like I was doing exactly what I had criticized. I didn't know, and I shouldn't have acted like I could make assumptions.

What I said about origins making a difference, in general, is still valid, but I shouldn't have made it sound personal to you.

Anyway, Reform Judaism is about a non-fundie as you can get. That's part of what I think about when I hear overly broad generalizations about religion. Reform Jews score pretty much the opposite of fundie Christians on a lot of Pew forum studies - lots of voting Democrat, supporting gay marriage, feminism, pretty low birthrates, emphasis on education, social action, etc.

[whoviana]

Yes, this is exactly why I am attracted to that culture. (I don't like calling it a religion, albeit, basically it is.) I have seen reform Jews and they live so beautifully, and I can practice my fights for tolerance and civil rights.

I never in a thousand years would have though that one day someone will tell me that I might have been exposed to feminism and the practice of equality in relationships. Feels great.

[klynn]

We are raising our kids without religion. We didn't make that a decision, it's just how it's been. Hubby's family is not religious at all. My mom is a former sunday school teacher. My brother and I were dressed up every sunday morning and driven to church by my mom. My dad NEVER went. He had no interest, and today will tell anyone who asks that he is an atheist. My mother is now the same way. My brother and I...similiar to our parents.

Organized religion wasn't for us. I'm not saying I don't believe or do believe. I'm not sure. I don't spend much time thinking about it. But, I've turned out to be a reasonably productive citizen, as has my brother, as well as my parents.

I'm comfortable in our religion-less lifestyle. I'm not ashamed, and I don't proclaim it as the solution for everyone. It fits MY family.

Maybe someday we will give it another try, but maybe not. Either way, the choice will be made as to what's best for this family. And I'm so lucky that I have that option!