Reborn Virgin

[roddma]

Is there really a such thing as 'reborn virgin'? It sounds like an excuse to justify premarital sex among Christians. You may be spiritually cleansed, but physically you would not be a virgin.

[SPHASH]

Is there really a such thing as 'reborn virgin'? It sounds like an excuse to justify premarital sex among Christians. You may be spiritually cleansed, but physically you would not be a virgin.

Bristol Palin becomes a "reborn virgin" after she is done fucking her latest trial daddy.

[ariel9]

Yes I've heard it as a born again virgin. It is an individual who has lost their virginity (oral, anal, or vaginal) and purposes to stop the hanky panky because Jesus. All of their previous sexual sin is usually forgiven and they look back on that their last as not fun lost time. After given up sex and it's not so fond memories they wait until marriage.

[FundieWatcher]

There is nothing being a "born-again virgin" in Bible. I think it is just a North American fundie term.

[jerkit]

I won't snark on someone for wanting to not have sex for any reason they choose. But the virginity terminology is weird. I guess "I had sex but now I'm waiting to have sex again" isn't as catchy

[Burris]

The theory: Someone - usually a woman or girl - who has had sexual intercourse outside marriage can, with the help of God, cleanse herself of past sin such that she once again becomes a virgin.

With the exception of girls in some regions who undergo hymen repair surgery ahead of their wedding night so as to prevent an honour killing, this 'reborn virgin' stuff makes no sense to me.

[Kira]

Does anyone remember the "runaway bride" case? Her fiance was a reborn virgin.

[princessmahina]

Peggy did it on King of the Hill. I kind of thought it was something made up for the show. I can't imagine why anyone would do this. It seems vastly unnecessary.

[FearLyss]

Personally, I always thought it was bullshit until quite recently.

I met a woman who was a virgin but was raped by a man who she was dating. To her, this seemed to be part of her healing process. At first I felt like she blamed herself for the rape by going through this, but it was such an important part of her recovery and she always was able to acknowledge that this was something that happened to her and was his fault. Ever since hearing her story, I can't help but feel that if a woman feels empowered by doing this (for whatever reason they choose to) it isn't my place to judge.

I will always hate that so much value is placed on a woman's sexual past and the state of her hymen, but I can't see it the same way I did prior to learning of the importance it took in her journey.

[Rachel333]

The concept of virginity is kind of weird anyway, and I don't really think there is such thing as being physically a virgin or not. If someone has had a lot of sex but never had sex involving vaginal penetration, I think it would be absurd to call them a virgin even if they meet some physical definitions.

I kind of think the born-again virgin thing is good. It means that having had sex before marriage isn't the end of the world, that you can become spiritually pure again and it doesn't mean you're damaged or less valuable. I just wish those ideas didn't revolve around having sex in the first place so those people wouldn't have to reclaim their virginity to feel worthy again.

[Pammy]

It's just a way of saying, "Jesus has forgiven all my sins, including my sexual past, so I'm not in any way 'less than' girls or guys who don't have a sexually active past."

It also to counteract the idea that if a person thinks of themself as 'not a virgin anyways' they might not be as guarded as Christians expect about their future sexual decisions.

[Rachel333]

Personally, I always thought it was bullshit until quite recently.

I met a woman who was a virgin but was raped by a man who she was dating. To her, this seemed to be part of her healing process. At first I felt like she blamed herself for the rape by going through this, but it was such an important part of her recovery and she always was able to acknowledge that this was something that happened to her and was his fault. Ever since hearing her story, I can't help but feel that if a woman feels empowered by doing this (for whatever reason they choose to) it isn't my place to judge.

I will always hate that so much value is placed on a woman's sexual past and the state of her hymen, but I can't see it the same way I did prior to learning of the importance it took in her journey.

I'm really glad that helped her.

I was actually always taught that if you were raped that didn't mean you lost your virginity and you were still as pure as any other virgin. I think virginity was more of a spiritual than a physical concept in my church.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

My mom taught classes in church about staying pure, but she didn't even know hymens existed until she was in her 40's. Someone referenced it in a sermon about sex and she was shocked because she had never heard about that before.

[FloraDoraDolly]

The concept of virginity is kind of weird anyway, and I don't really think there is such thing as being physically a virgin or not. If someone has had a lot of sex but never had sex involving vaginal penetration, I think it would be absurd to call them a virgin even if they meet some physical definitions.

I kind of think the born-again virgin thing is good. It means that having had sex before marriage isn't the end of the world, that you can become spiritually pure again and it doesn't mean you're damaged or less valuable. I just wish those ideas didn't revolve around having sex in the first place so those people wouldn't have to reclaim their virginity to feel worthy again.

Have any of you read Alice Walker's "The Color Purple"? According to the character Shug Avery, you are a virgin until you've had an orgasm.

[roddma]

I just wish those ideas didn't revolve around having sex in the first place so those people wouldn't have to reclaim their virginity to feel worthy again.

This. While I respect those who wait and try to live a good life if they feel they have faltered, there is more to a person than what they do with body parts. Those who don't wait or get raped should never feel the need to 'rededicate'. But I feel most mainstream faiths would never blame the victim so much they feel the need to rededicate themselves.

Little OT, but Elizabeth Smart is an example of how crazy it is to focus on one aspect of existence. She felt like the wadded up piece of gum the teacher talked about and no one would want her. After the ordeal, her grandfather claimed she was just as pure as before. That would be the last thing on my mind.

[ariel9]

I feel for those who lost their virginity on their on accord makes them feel special because we all know the only way I be sexually special at church is to be a virgin, a "legal sec haver", or a born again virgin.

[doggie]

with the power of god christians and be anything they want. really anyone things you can loose your experiences with the help of god has a bit of cray cray going on.

[salex]

Have any of you read Alice Walker's "The Color Purple"? According to the character Shug Avery, you are a virgin until you've had an orgasm.

And in Emanuelle II it was you were a virgin until the 7th time with your 7th lover.... But mentioning that only tells people I'm old.....

[Closed Womb]

I've always heard it as "born again virgin" and it's always been shorthand for "not a virgin, but not having sex again until marriage" in my culture. No magical cleansing, no superiority, just the kind of thing one half (or both halves) of a dating Christian couple might mention when the time was right. That, or during girl talk.

Source: attending fundie - lite churches as a single woman in the early 90's through early 2000's in the Southeastern US.

[DGayle]

Personally, I always thought it was bullshit until quite recently.

I met a woman who was a virgin but was raped by a man who she was dating. To her, this seemed to be part of her healing process. At first I felt like she blamed herself for the rape by going through this, but it was such an important part of her recovery and she always was able to acknowledge that this was something that happened to her and was his fault. Ever since hearing her story, I can't help but feel that if a woman feels empowered by doing this (for whatever reason they choose to) it isn't my place to judge.

I will always hate that so much value is placed on a woman's sexual past and the state of her hymen, but I can't see it the same way I did prior to learning of the importance it took in her journey.

That woman didn't choose to participate in that sex, so it makes sense for that to not count.

[DGayle]

Little OT, but Elizabeth Smart is an example of how crazy it is to focus on one aspect of existence. She felt like the wadded up piece of gum the teacher talked about and no one would want her. After the ordeal, her grandfather claimed she was just as pure as before. That would be the last thing on my mind.

I wish fundies would listen to what Elizabeth said. She had the chance to escape her captor, but didn't because she so fully believed the crap about being worthless for having had sex, even though she didn't consent to it. She was a child captive to the bullshit teaching that sex before marriage means no one will want you, you're worthless, life is over.

But then again, it's a woman's fault if she's raped in the eyes of a lot of fundies.

[FloraKitty35]

with the power of god christians and be anything they want. really anyone things you can loose your experiences with the help of god has a bit of cray cray going on.

See: Bristol Palin

[salex]

I often wonder if people like Todd Akin and his ilk would consider the Smart case as "legitimate" rape, since "she could have escaped."

It isn't a stretch, since Bill O'Reilly said he suspected a boy kidnapped at 11, raped and threatened with death (and who had been told his parents had long before stopped looking for him) probably stayed with his kidnapper because he had a "more fun" life-- no school, etc.

I had not seen O'Reilly much before I heard he had said this, and consciously decided not to watch him since then because of this. But we can be sure this attitude of victim blaming is not unique and is even the goal of some

mediamatters.org/research/2007/01/17/oreilly-abducted-child-liked-his-circumstances/137753

[slh12280]

I think this term is really useless. If you have had consensual sex and decide that you don't want to for any period of time, for any reason, that's up to you. I don't think that needs a term. I know what celibacy/abstinence means but how long do you have to go without sex to use that term? Is it is simply an individual determination? Also, you could engage in certain sexual activities but not others and still claim celibacy, I suppose. Depends on what you feel you want to refrain from, I guess. On a lighter note, my sexual inexperience was hard enough to get rid of, I don't need it back :lol:

[FloraKitty35]

I don't feel that virginity is any great or magical gift. The greatest gift is one's free consent.

[Howl]

My ex was a high school teacher in a rural area of the southwest. He was driving high school kids to an event in one of the school vans (longish road trip) and had to tell the girls to put a lid on their extremely frank discussion of oral sex experiences. This was in the 1990s. These girls definitely considered themselves virgins and also went to church. Go figure. There were more sexually active middle school kids than you might think, as well.

Also, another gem from that trip -- one of the kids said, "Hey, I heard Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings."