The Sisterhood: Becoming a Nun

[ladyaudley]

There was a really interesting documentary on the BBC a while back called Young Nuns that had the same premise. It was fascinating. the first quarter of it is here http://vimeo.com/40921134 but I can't find the rest.

[August]

misslady, in the church service the next morning the blonde has mascara and Elessi has eyeshadow and lipstick.

[FoxyMoxie]

There's also two other BBC series called The Convent and The Monastery where people from a mix of backgrounds (including non-religious people) experience monastic life.

My aunt is an Anglican nun - there are many Anglican religious orders (mostly female but that's always been the case for RC orders too) and most are very similar to RC ones in practice, and you get Anglican Benedictines, Franciscans etc. My aunt is a member of an active or 'apostolic' order but wears the habit and veil.

I was seriously considering a vocation to becoming a (Anglican) nun myself but now don't think it is my vocation, but I have stayed with many convents while exploring that so I'm happy to answer questions if anyone has any (I stayed with both active and cloistered communities).

[micatite]

I also had nuns, but ours were rather more practical. They tended to wear cotton shirts and slacks as they were living in the desert and chasing around after rowdy grade schoolers. The only one who wore anything approaching a habit was our principal, who wore a quiet off-white business suit (matching blazer and knee-length straight skirt with a blouse), a gold cross around her neck, and a short veil.

I was told, but cannot verify the story, that our nuns HAD worn long habits but that one of the sisters broke her leg when the bottom of it got tangled on part of the jungle gym and so they gave them up. I'm skeptical.

[Hane]

I was at the Franciscans' holiday fair and Christmas pageant on Saturday, and was surprised to see how many young sisters there were. I told one of them I hadn't seen so many young religious since I was in Assisi!

[Hane]

American nuns and religious sisters started modifying their habits ("uniforms") and moving away from them in the late 1960s. (This was around the time women were no longer obligated to wear hats or head coverings inside Catholic churches, and we were starting to see women come to Mass in pants.)

In one news story (I think it was in Europe), an order of nuns modified their headdresses when one of the sisters was driving and the part that wrapped around her face obstructed her peripheral vision and caused her to have a fatal accident.

At my divorced Catholics group, there was a talk by a Sister of Saint Joseph, an order that does a lot of social service and community justice work. The "St. Joes" were one of the first orders to adopt "normal" dress, the better to fit in with the community they were serving. The sister told us that their old nickname was "the Black Widows," because their traditional habit copied the way widows dressed centuries ago. In the old days, she said, widows were the only women who had freedom of movement and autonomy in society: girls and unmarried women were chaperoned and "sheltered," and married women had to answer to their husbands. So St. Joes' dispensing with the habit was really in keeping with their roots and traditional role in society.

[VGL]

My sister was a Loreto sister, of the Institute of the Blessed Virgin Mary. She never wore a habit. Some of the very old sisters did and some of the "middle aged" ones wore a navy skirt with a white blouse and jacket.

She was in her mid twenties when she joined the order and was a member for about 20 years. I can't remember when she took her vows. Her first vows included a traditional mass, her final vows took place in the lounge of the university residence the order runs. We sat on couches and two of her friends did a liturgical. One of the friends was a former Rockette that had become a nun.

She joined the order because she wanted a life of service where a woman could have a fulfilling role. She left the order because she could see it dying off. Very few women joined after she did.

[Palimpsest]

Ok, I spent a lot of today doing advanced prep for T'day tomorrow. So help me doG, we have 4 religious coming tomorrow plus a cradle Catholic couple. So we will sit down as 8 for dinner: 2 atheists, 2 agnostics, 2 sisters and 2 associates. The CSJ nuns and associates, for reasons unknown to me (but I suspect them to be renegades), would somehow rather spend T'Day chez Palimpsest instead of with their own community! I find that rather funny.

I'll try to pick their brains, but it will depend on my SIL's mood. She can get sensitive about their dwindling community. Huge disclaimer here: I get my info through my SIL. As I said, she is a rebel, a rather difficult person, and not necessarily representative of her community.

Hane, CSJ = Congregation of St. Joseph (of Carondelet). Yes, they were among the first to ditch the habit in the late 60s. Per my SIL, they went back to their founder's edict: to dress in the clothing of their time and to live as part of the community not in convents. More about that when I have more time. They have also been the target of Vatican/Pope ire for not being nunny enough!

[maybeizfundie]

I don't have much interest in the show. Same people who created the Amish one? bleah. I can't imagine it being even remotely accurate or anything but a drama stew. :ew:

The subject itself is interesting though. My sister from the age of 10 into her late teens was very seriously considering becoming a nun. She visited the convents of several orders and put a lot of thought and prayer into it. She also double-majored in biology and Catholic theology in college. :) She ultimately decided that the celibate religious life was not for her, and a few years later married a young man who had also at one point considered becoming a monk but changed his mind. :D (this seems to be a theme--I know several couples who are both either ex-religious or had both considered that life and decided not to, and then found each other and married.)

The nuns I worked for last year were a teaching order, and founded a university specifically for the education of women. :) Clothing was a mixed bag. Many of the older ones were very attached to their habits, which were much modified from the original habits of the order. Navy skirt-suit with a navy cap. Some of the younger ones wore street clothes. Two very young sisters often wore scrubs when they were on-shift doing nursing care for the elderly sisters.

[Marianne]

There's also two other BBC series called The Convent and The Monastery where people from a mix of backgrounds (including non-religious people) experience monastic life.

My aunt is an Anglican nun - there are many Anglican religious orders (mostly female but that's always been the case for RC orders too) and most are very similar to RC ones in practice, and you get Anglican Benedictines, Franciscans etc. My aunt is a member of an active or 'apostolic' order but wears the habit and veil.

I was seriously considering a vocation to becoming a (Anglican) nun myself but now don't think it is my vocation, but I have stayed with many convents while exploring that so I'm happy to answer questions if anyone has any (I stayed with both active and cloistered communities).

Oooh, interesting :D So, anglican religious order use catholic spirituality (St Benedict, St Francis) ? How do they "mix" anglicanism and catholicism ? Would you agree to told us wich order/convent you considered ?

[FoxyMoxie]

Not all Anglican orders use a specific rule like St Benedict, St Francis etc, most use a mixture - but the ones that do would follow the rule in the same way a Catholic order would, there would be very little difference at all. I stayed with a Carmelite order in Oxford and they prayed for the Pope as well as the Queen at Mass (and yes they called it Mass). Most Anglican nuns are Anglo-Catholic so there's very little difference between them and their Catholic counterparts.

I think the convent I considered the most was the Sisters of Bethany (here in the UK) who have a mixed or semi-cloistered life - a mix of contemplation and service in the world.

[Hane]

I worked as a Catholic reporter for many years and dealt with many sisters and orders (I agree I've never heard a distinction between nun/sister though our preferred writing style was to always use "sister") - the orders near me did not get a lot of new postulants, but the women who were discerning a religious vocation were almost always older and had already had successful secular careers - the seminarians studying to be priests as well. Most of them had been contemplating their vocation since they were young but had only become secure in it (or secure enough to stand by it against family who might not have understood it) once they were older. In fact, several of the women I saw become nuns were divorced/widowed and had children. That must be something interesting to deal with, explaining to people how your mother is a nun!

I once read about a soap opera actress whose grandmother became a nun. Sister Grandma and her convent roommates religiously watched the soap and cheered her on.

There is also a large proportion of middle-aged and older widowers entering the Catholic priesthood. I've read articles about these priests baptizing their own grandchildren and performing marriages for their own kids.

[RachelB]

There's also two other BBC series called The Convent and The Monastery where people from a mix of backgrounds (including non-religious people) experience monastic life.

My aunt is an Anglican nun - there are many Anglican religious orders (mostly female but that's always been the case for RC orders too) and most are very similar to RC ones in practice, and you get Anglican Benedictines, Franciscans etc. My aunt is a member of an active or 'apostolic' order but wears the habit and veil.

I was seriously considering a vocation to becoming a (Anglican) nun myself but now don't think it is my vocation, but I have stayed with many convents while exploring that so I'm happy to answer questions if anyone has any (I stayed with both active and cloistered communities).

Oooh-- I do have questions for you! There are a lot of pastors in my family, and although I do not feel a call to ordained ministry, I would welcome a faith community that was more central to my life. I've had a recurring interest since college in Christian intentional communities, dating back to my late teens-- Koinonia Farms, Reba Place, Iona, St. Brigid of Kildare, the Quaker Monastery in Michigan, etc.

What was the discernment process like for you, especially in the community you considered most seriously? What were the factors that best helped you determine that you were not called to it at this time? And have you found ways outside of a religious order to address the yearnings that took you toward convent life in the first place?

[FoxyMoxie]

I started looking at the religious life when I was looking at going for ordination as a priest in the CoE (Church of England), and a friend suggested also looking at the religious life. DDOs (diocesan directors of ordinands, those in a diocese who look after those going for ordination) have mostly been useless regarding looking at the religious life - there's very little information for potential religious in the CoE. So the discernment process has mostly been emailing communities, asking if I can visit and going to stay for a few days. That's kind of been it! There hasn't been any formal discernment process because it just doesn't exist at the moment in the CoE.

I am a serious introvert and found that I would struggle with community life - even in communities where I felt very relaxed, I still felt like I had to be 'on'. I'm a member of the Student Christian Movement which has links to many Christian intentional communities including some of those you've mentioned, so the idea isn't alien to me at all - I just don't think it's a thing I can do. Also by the time I was visiting the community I considered most seriously, I was falling in love - this is not very helpful! Said person I am in love with is unaware of it since they live in the US and I'm in the UK (they will hopefully be returning in the summer for more studying - we met when they were studying here).

The community life aspect was always the part I was unsure about - the Single Consecrated Life (Anglican equivalent of Catholic consecrated virgins, but they can be non-virgins and any gender) is still a possibility. I have chronic depression and at the moment really struggling with this, so I'm not sure if I've found a way to address what lead me towards convent life. At the moment I'm thinking of going for the priesthood, but I won't be able to do that for a few years (I need some parish work experience first). Depression and struggling with community life really is limiting things at the moment.

I hope that answers your questions? Feel free to ask any more, I'm just struggling to word at the moment!

[Jana814]

These posts r great everyone. I have 2 friends who went to Catholic School their whole lives. One of them told me when she was about 12 she considered becoming a nun.

[PityFree]

What struck me most about this show (aside from Creepy Christie and her sexualization of Jesus) was the refreshingly normal way the girls dressed. No modesty frumpers for the Catholics - instead, we get shorts, short skirts, halter tops, other cute stuff. Also, the fundies we talk about on this site would die without their makeup!

My disclaimer: I was raised Catholic and went to 12 years of Catholic school, but now consider myself a Recovering Catholic.

I find it fascinating that some people, including the girls on this show, find comfort or inspiration or something (I can't think of the right word to express this) in going to Mass. In my entire life and the bajillion times I sat through Mass I never got anything out of it except boredom. (That explains a bit of why I am no longer Catholic.)

[Mama Mia]

I'm really fascinated by everyone's experiences, and would love to hear more. If you contemplated joining a religious community, or know people who did -- what were /are the appealing parts, as opposed to being active in your religion but still part of the secular world? Does it feel like a vocation, like has been described, which to me sounds like an irresistible draw? To me, I can only compare it to wanting to having children. I'm really, really sincerely sorry if any of my vocabulary or concepts are wrong, I know next to nothing about this topic and do not mean any offense.

My primary contact with Sisters has been through working in social services. There are many older Sisters who are extremely strong advocates for social justice issues. Only one of the ones I know wore a habit, she was the sweetest, tinyest little woman--- who ran a food pantry and would haul huge bags and crates around and would get the biggest, burliest guy to sit down and shut up if he was getting aggressive in line. Amazing woman.

Others were active in immigrant rights or domestic violence or shelter. Extremely assertive , powerful, dedicated women. And they had the advantage of no one wants to offend a Nun :D

[lilwriter85]

I watched the show for the first time last night. I missed the pilot. I found it to be interesting and I agree with another poster Christie is creepy with her sexualization of Jesus. She reminds me of Super Catholic Blogger Abigail.

I was raised Catholic, but never attended Catholic schools. I have no Catholic school nun stories. My parents are friends with two nuns who live in other states. One sister had a nursing degree and in the early 90s, she worked part time at a AIDS hospice center. The other sister likes the ones on the show did a lot of the work with the elderly.

[lilwriter85]

I once read about a soap opera actress whose grandmother became a nun. Sister Grandma and her convent roommates religiously watched the soap and cheered her on.

There is also a large proportion of middle-aged and older widowers entering the Catholic priesthood. I've read articles about these priests baptizing their own grandchildren and performing marriages for their own kids.

I knew a priest that entered the priesthood after his wife died. He had two kids and his kids were in their early 20s, when he into the priesthood. He also performed his daughter's marriage.

[Palimpsest]

I'm also interested in hearing people's thoughts and experiences re. becoming a religious. :)

I also said I'd update after Thanksgiving with my SIL. I almost forgot! We had a fairly long conversation about this program although none of us had watched it at the time.

My SIL and her fellow sister confirmed that her province has not had someone make it all the way to final vows for over 20 years (they say the other provinces have had more luck.) People are interested but rarely make it past temporary (renewed annually) vows before leaving. At the moment the youngest sister in their community is in her early 50s. They are doing a lot of downsizing, planning, selling off property and consolidating.

The big drop in numbers dates back to 1966 when they had the last "big" class of 25. My SIL's class was only 17, and the numbers continued to drop radically. Of the people who entered with her, 9 left in the first 3 - 4 years, others left later (one to join a more conservative order) and only 4 are still with the community.

Their ponderings as to why people aren't actually joining their community (no conclusions reached) are varied. They think they screen better for those who are joining for the "wrong reasons" (didn't get into that), think conservative communities attract more people, see the Vatican's attacks on the progressive social justice communities as discouraging support, and they wonder whether certain of their decisions post-Vatican II put off the more romantically inclined "discerners."

That last is quite interesting. Post-Vatican II they went back to their original mandate: to live without cloister or habit and serve the community. So they made the habit voluntary, only the older sisters hung on to the old habit or a modified version of it (the old-school have mostly died now) but otherwise in contemporary dress. Also, while keeping the provincial house, they dispersed the convent style of living and moved into the general community living in much smaller groups. Sometimes 4 or 5 in a rented house, but more frequently in pairs in apartments close to where they work.

So if you meet them on the street you wouldn't know they were sisters, although most wear a cross and a ring after final vows. They maintain contact with their community, but in practice they live fairly independent lives and are responsible for their own spiritual discipline. They apply for jobs independently and work with non-Religious, but their salaries are paid to the Community and they negotiate a monthly budget to cover their expenses.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

As I said, my SIL is not the best example. She has lived in an apartment completely on her own for 15+ years. We think she is very hard to live with because all her previous housemates seemed to burn out in a year never to be spoken of without a sneer again. She has also had times where she is not speaking to the rest of her community at all. We have often wondered whether she would leave but she seems much closer to them recently and I think she is there for life. That is something of a selfish relief for us. It is really not all roses in the community. Along with some wonderful, strong, and very spiritual sisters, I have known many (not just my SIL) who have serious mental health and/or substance abuse issues. I'm also aware of a few that were sexually abused as children and show all the signs of PTSD, which prayer alone doesn't help much. Whether all these people joined for the "right reasons" IDK but they seem to be happy enough, and well-loved and cared for by the community.

[RachelB]

I started looking at the religious life when I was looking at going for ordination as a priest in the CoE (Church of England), and a friend suggested also looking at the religious life. DDOs (diocesan directors of ordinands, those in a diocese who look after those going for ordination) have mostly been useless regarding looking at the religious life - there's very little information for potential religious in the CoE. So the discernment process has mostly been emailing communities, asking if I can visit and going to stay for a few days. That's kind of been it! There hasn't been any formal discernment process because it just doesn't exist at the moment in the CoE.

I am a serious introvert and found that I would struggle with community life - even in communities where I felt very relaxed, I still felt like I had to be 'on'. I'm a member of the Student Christian Movement which has links to many Christian intentional communities including some of those you've mentioned, so the idea isn't alien to me at all - I just don't think it's a thing I can do. Also by the time I was visiting the community I considered most seriously, I was falling in love - this is not very helpful! Said person I am in love with is unaware of it since they live in the US and I'm in the UK (they will hopefully be returning in the summer for more studying - we met when they were studying here).

The community life aspect was always the part I was unsure about - the Single Consecrated Life (Anglican equivalent of Catholic consecrated virgins, but they can be non-virgins and any gender) is still a possibility. I have chronic depression and at the moment really struggling with this, so I'm not sure if I've found a way to address what lead me towards convent life. At the moment I'm thinking of going for the priesthood, but I won't be able to do that for a few years (I need some parish work experience first). Depression and struggling with community life really is limiting things at the moment.

I hope that answers your questions? Feel free to ask any more, I'm just struggling to word at the moment!

Thank you-- I appreciate it! I'm also an introvert, but for me that plays out mostly in avoiding large crowds of people I don't know, or getting stressed out by trying to deal with acquaintances. But I can be around already trusted people, or fellow introverts, or people who value quiet time, for quite a while, without wanting to be alone. I've been on vacations with my partner where we were together almost constantly without "peopling out."

Common purpose seems to be one of the things that turns people from acquaintances into cherished friends for me. So does shared quiet time, which is paradoxically one of the most intimate things I've ever experienced. I would love for those things to be a greater part of my life. I am making do with a prayer group, a weekly church service, choir, and a Quaker meeting, but I am still hungry for religious community.

OTOH, my partner is atheist, is the kind of introvert who would not thrive in cohousing, and would be bored out of his mind living in a rural area. And the fact that I have a partner at all puts some places off limits entirely (e.g., the Quaker Monastery).

I wish you all the best in dealing with depression, FoxyMoxie. I have it, too, and it is Not Helpful in discernment.

[Palimpsest]

Quick review of The Sisterhood: Becoming a Nun after watching the first two episodes.

Basically we are getting an intense version of the "nun run" with a totally predictable made for TV and cast for maximum drama set of "discerners" (although I think there may be a dark horse in there - but I'll get to that later.) It was quite interesting - except for some of the "discerners" dramatics. Interesting article:

http://www.ibtimes.com/sisterhood-revie ... ut-1730006

I'll put this under spoilers for those who haven't watched yet.

The Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm rocked. Especially Sister "Give me a Break" Cyril, although Sisters Marie Theresa and Patrick were also lovely. I thought they were able to give an excellent idea of what they are all about. I think they agreed to do this mainly to draw attention to their mission and, perhaps as an afterthought, to advertise their community to potential sisters. It will be interesting to see whether the other communities present themselves as effectively. Disclaimer: my late FIL was in one of the Carmelite Sisters' NFs but not in the one featured. I did not recognize any of the sisters.

The discerners:

Claire: Is this Orphan Black? Claire is a bloody clone of prissy sanctimonious Jill Duggar - except Catholic. Painfully annoying home schooled little chit with more than a touch of Agnus Dei in the family. Her vocation shines so brightly that the least little shower of rain might put it out forever. I hope some Sister blasts her soon with a dose of humility. Sister Cyril was too gentle and this tone-deaf girl needs a brick-bat to get through to her. Prediction: apparently sincere but won't last because her vocation won't be able to withstand being cut down to size.

Christie: I sincerely hope she is playing a part and this isn't her real persona because otherwise she needs counseling. And meds. She is channeling St. Teresa of Avilla with her orgasmic visions of Jesus. I think she envisions herself as Sister Wendy living in a caravan as a hermit -- but masturbating instead of pontificating about fine art. Prediction: won't last because she is just playing a part. Badly.

Eseni: Straight from central casting, although the thought of becoming a nun might have crossed her mind after she saw the Nun's Story. Audrey looked so good in that habit! Prediction: Never intended to become a nun. She is beautiful and seems rather nice so I hope she gets some acting and modeling jobs out of this gig.

Francesca: The spotty one. May be sincere but FFS. I join Sr. Cyril in asking for a break. Prediction: If (big if) she has a vocation she will be sent away to grow up a bit before trying to enter.

Stacy: The dark horse. The absence of dramatics in these 2 episodes may mean that she is both suitable and sincere, but it is early yet.

Now let's see how wrong I am. :lol:

[micatite]

Thus far the only one I can see actually winding up as a good nun is Stacey...though Claire could easily turn into the Sister everyone loves to hate. So self-righteous yet smarmy about it.

[Daenerys]

I've always been fascinated by Nuns. It's such a weird life to choose in the modern world.

Any chance of a link? I'm outside the US and I *need* to see this show!

[Palimpsest]

I've always been fascinated by Nuns. It's such a weird life to choose in the modern world.

Any chance of a link? I'm outside the US and I *need* to see this show!

http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/the-sis ... oming-nuns