Ladies - Why do you hook-up?

[fundyfunland]

In my younger days, I used to hook-up (one-nite stand/friends w/ benefits-wise) for all the wrong reasons....wanting the guy to like me, thinking that's what guys liked.

Now, I rarely hook-up, but when I do, it's because, well...I just really need sex, and my toy just doesn't cut it. Sure, it's rare (for me) to get the multiple-orgasms I get from toys or better, being in a monogamous relationship, but sometimes, I just can't help it...all I really want to do, is tear off the clothes & get sweaty with that hot defrauding man.

Yeah...sooo...anyway.

[fundyfunland]

I've thought about hooking up with men just for fun - no expectations of a relationship. It hasn't happened yet but there is a man I would seriously consider it for - he is out of my league, amazingly handsome, well off, and a gentleman. Unfortunately, he hasn't shown any desire for me, although I think he knows his power over me, cause I just melt when he looks at me -my instincts would override my principles if I were alone in a room with him. But maybe it would be worth it, cause sometimes you just want to be human and have fun sex.

I think you're underestimating yourself. If all you really want is just to hook-up with this yummy man, then make a move, flirt, grab him & kiss him, you konw.

[Shirley MacLaine]

Austin, no I can't post a link to Doc Sharon's comment because I don't know how to post a link and I can't find the comment.

I'm not sure why anyone is supposed to care what Doc Sharon said in some thread relating to this issue?

I have known a woman who was raped and murdered and three more who were raped by getting together with strangers.) I guess safety is another part of why I think asking the hook up question is valid.

They weren't raped because they 'got together' with strangers. They were raped because a rapist was present. That is the only thing that causes anyone to get raped - the presence of a rapist.

My best friend was raped by her husband. And they were each other's firsts and onlies at that point. She did everything 'right,' like a 'good girl.' Should I say that people shouldn't get married?

[Hane]

Hane, I think that self-knowledge and then going for relationships that suit you the best *is* sexual autonomy.

Thanks, Rosa, for those kind words. I've decided to hold out for just that--even if it means involuntary celibacy.

[lilah]

letgo- I too am not really a fan of casual sex, and have only slept with one man in my life (my husband) but I try not to judge other people for their choices, if they are not hurting anyone.

And actually people are more likely to be raped by someone you know, instead of a stranger.

I rather detest these sorts of arguments because there is such a double standard. No one is asking why guys like to sleep around, the assumption is that guys are always horny and would schtup whatever they could, if given a chance. Women supposedly have little to no sex drive, and if you like having sex you must be a slut or a bad girl.

[bananacat]

Just so we're all clear, rapists target people they know far, far more often than they target strangers as victims. It's the same deal with child abuse and kidnapping.

[Austin]

I'm not sure why anyone is supposed to care what Doc Sharon said in some thread relating to this issue?

It just didn't sound like anything I'd ever read by DocSharon, but I'm sure I didn't see every post or would remember it anyway. But I know that I wouldn't like it if someone said, "Well, Austin posted. . .[blah, blah, blah]" and have people accept it with no citation, etc. I never found DocSharon to be a judgmental type of person in her postings, and I just wanted to know exactly what Letgo was referring to with her comment.

[Shirley MacLaine]

Oh, no, I was talking to Letgo! It seemed really weird to me to be like 'well, one time Doc Sharon said [thing that supports my point].'

[Austin]

Oh, sorry - I misunderstood. .. :text-blondmoment: