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Are You Ever Envious of the Duggars?


It'sFunToRun

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I'll admit that I am. Not entirely of course because I'm glad I'm not a Christian, and I wouldn't want to wear Wholesome wear for swimming, but in one way I am. I'm living away from my family now and it's lonely and I wish I had 18 brothers and sisters, even if I had to help them get dressed and cook for them, because I love people and I prefer being busy to be alone.

 

I'm really envious that Jill got Jana to go with her to her midwifery training. I wish I had a sister who would go with me to my studies, that would be AWESOME. I don't even like going to the grocery store alone, and the Duggar girls don't have to. When I get married, I want to have bunch of children. Maybe not nineteen, but like at least five so that they will always have someone to play with and keep them company.

 

Is there anything about the Duggars that you would like to replicate in your life or in your family?

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I am sitting here in front of my computer giving this serious consideration. For most things I can think of that I would like to have that the Duggars have, having that thing means giving up privacy. I would not want my kids and my life paraded out like that.

I want to say that the kids are growing up in their parent's intact marriage, and my kids are growing up in a single mom household, so I think I should envy that but honestly I'd never wish Michelle's mothering on any child. Maybe it was good for Josh and perhaps Jana and JD but I'm guessing that soon after that Michelle started her detached parenting.

Jim Bob is a marginally better parent but they are both parenting and living life with themselves as the stars and I just can't. Won't.

So, the end result of this musing is that I think I should envy the Duggars for a number of reasons but the honest truth is I do not envy them anything.

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Envious? As in jealous? Nope. Not at all. Not for any tiny part of their life. If I had to live in their house with JB and Michelle, I would slit my wrists inside of an hour.

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I can agree on wishing my child had grown up in a home with his family together. Not having shared holidays and packing up his little bag to go from one house to the other.

That's about it.

On the other hand I'm glad he's grown up independent, educated and free thinking.

Oh and I would like TLC to come decorate my house and give me a bunch of free shit.

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Hmm...I guess I can honestly say that I'm not jealous of the mindset and patriarchal system that the Duggar kids have grown up in, but I am a little jealous of some of the relationships they have.

I guess what I'm referring to is when Jill got married. She had all these people to fuss and dote over her, even though Jim Bob did everything on the cheap. She had multiple showers, people made lots of food for the reception, and they decorated for her big day. I guess I sort of envy the idea of so many people willing to come together to make a big deal about her.

My immediate family is small, and my extended family is spread out - we're not close. My father passed away when I was young, and I'm not close with my mother, who is mentally ill. I've spent the last few years trying to hold my family together, completely on my own, in the face of my son's cancer diagnosis, and I have days where I really want to be somebody's little girl. I'm also the sort of person where if someone I know has a problem, they can depend on me for help, but if I'm the one in need, I can't always depend on people.

I guess I really am a bit envious of their support system. Despite the many awful things about fundamentalism, I have no doubt there are plenty of real and lasting relationships in place within the system.

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I'm envious of the trips they've taken, and that envy makes me even angrier about their behavior on those trips. They don't appreciate those opportunities they way most people would.

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I'm envious that the girls don't have to get jobs. I'm pregnant and would LOVE to not have to work after this baby is born. I would probably change my mind and miss work, and I realize that the Duggar girls' actual options are extremely limited or nonexistent, but there is a small part of me that would love to not work.

That's about it.

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I am not envious of the family at all. I am envious of all the opportunities they are given to travel, which they have no appreciation of whatsoever.

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I'm envious of the trips they've taken, and that envy makes me even angrier about their behavior on those trips. They don't appreciate those opportunities they way most people would.

Same here! I hate how Jim Bob makes such a fool of themselves and really the whole family does too. When they go out to eat in those episodes it drives me crazy too.

I'm also kind of jealous about them having siblings close in age. My sister and I are about seven years apart, and we get along and everything. But sometimes I think it would be cool to have a sister more my age.

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The only thing I might be a little envious of is that they are so sure of their beliefs. They don't have to think about anything, because everything is explained in their worldview and they completely buy into ALL of it. I am an atheist, so it's not like I agree with them, but that sort of certainty about *everything* might be nice. I over-think a lot of things... like ethical issues. They also don't have to worry about anything, because "god is in control." I worry so much about the state of the world, the state of the planet, etc. and they really don't seem to.

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Good question. Intact two parent marriage? I have that. I think mine is a true partnership. I would not have thrived for these last 28 years in the submissive wifey role. Many children? Four is enough, thanks. Opportunity to travel? Thankfully, we have that, too, albeit in a travel trailer, but we enjoy the places we go and we enjoy each other's company, and we generally learn something new on each trip. Now, the things I do NOT envy the Duggars for? Privacy. They never have ANY. Ditto Solitude. I LOVE solitude. Education. My husband, kids and I all have more education than any of them will probably ever have, and I wish they could get. Even faith. They are indoctrinated. They may or may not believe or even understand the party line, they just stick to it. So, no. I really don't envy them. I used to, until I learned more about how they disciplined and educated and so on.

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Honestly, no. Maybe slightly at the international travels they got to take. But when I think about what comes with being a Duggar, I wouldn't trade my life for that. Even if my life were much worse, I still wouldn't wanna be a Duggar.

Cause all the little and big perks and advantages come with such a huge price, it's simply not worth it.

I mean, is it nice for kids to grow up with their parents still together and in love? Sure. But if you think about the brainwashing, the child-training for immediate obedience, the cult-life and the fact that they have no education or personal freedom, then I still think it's better for a kid to grow up with divorced parents but in a healthier environment.

Is it nice to have some siblings? Sure. But 18 of them? Where the older ones have spend their childhood raising the younger ones and the parents never have nearly enough time for each child and child neglect is a common occurrence? No thank you. I'd rather be an only child.

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Not at all.

My hubs and I are roughly 10 years older than the JB and M.

We have been married 1 yr longer than JB and M and have a 27yo daughter and 24yo son.

Our kids are both educated- one has a Master's the other is preparing for grad school. Both are employed FT.

Our daughter is married and recently had a baby girl.

I just retired after a 35 year nursing career.

My hubs has a great career....and is also close to retirement.

We have traveled the globe and live in a fabulous locale.

There is nothing about their lives that I envy. The hubs and I both worked hard for many years. We love and respect each other. We raised our kids to shoot for the moon, rebound from failures and work hard for success.

Children are not possessions.

Rant over. :)

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The Duggars probably get a lot of envy from other people in the cult who are struggling to just survive. They're the ones at the top of the pyramid scheme of that lifestyle. :lol: Almost no one else will attain it, but the cult makes a big deal out of the few who do to keep the others on their hamster wheels.

The only thing I might be a little envious of is that they are so sure of their beliefs. They don't have to think about anything, because everything is explained in their worldview and they completely buy into ALL of it. I am an atheist, so it's not like I agree with them, but that sort of certainty about *everything* might be nice. I over-think a lot of things... like ethical issues. They also don't have to worry about anything, because "god is in control." I worry so much about the state of the world, the state of the planet, etc. and they really don't seem to.
This is what i envy now that i'm out of that life. It's not easy to leave and have to figure out everything that used to be so sure. Any person in the cult who is even slightly curious will start seeing all the holes in their beliefs. The beliefs just won't make sense unless they CONSCIOUSLY decide to ignore the nagging of reason. (and, of course, stay off the internet and FAR away from sites like Recovering Grace, Homeschoolers Anonymous, and Free Jinger, where these beliefs are held up to the light of day). But leaving and struggling to make sense out of the confusion is the only way to stop the spread of hypocrisy from contaminating the next generation.
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only envious of how much money they make for doing nothing more then breeding and spouting stupid.

From Jackson on down, bred to continue the gravy train money.

Now the girls...

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I use to be a Duggar fan/thumper however after a simple google search I knew what they were/are after looking at the name of JTTH which I thought was a christian retreat. Then I saw Gothard and ATI stuff which I've known about since I was a teen.When I first started watching I wasn't really jealous of their family but amazed how well they raised their kids and two parents could handle it. They present them self as independent baptist. I was concerned about some stuff like the buddy system and not allowing any kinds of extracurriculars and the dumb courrship rules. That was beofre i knee who they were associated with.

Not jeslous of them because I don't want 19 kids nor want to be a slave to my husband. But there are other families who would appreciate the free trips, clothes, food, money etc unlike the ungrateful Duggars

i dknt want their lifestyle. Its a set up for failure

Don't feel like editing

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I'm envious that they have so much land, so their kids can just run wild, do go-carts etc.

I'm envious that they have the means to set up the kids with a house and/or small business. Some of my kids were not the academic /office type and would have thrived in the older Duggar boy situation.

I'm envious that their system does seem to keep the kids from going bat-shit wild as teens.

I'm envious of how freakishly calm Michelle is with a trillion kids. I was a yeller. And I really admire that kind of patience.

BUT -- to have those things for myself-- I would of had to live in a cheap area of the country where I would know no one ( and, frankly, kinda scares me)---Be on a reality show/ speaking circuit, goof God, no. Just no. -- Smother and beat my older kids to the point they couldn't /wouldn't rebel -- and pass the primary mothering duties off to my older daughters, so I could stay patient and not strangle anyone.

So overall, no. I do envy some of their outcomes, but would be miserable with the means to get there.

Ido envy the intact family with the adoring husband though, not gonna lie.

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Yes, at least I was when I was younger. I think that's part of the reason that I became so fascinated by them. I'm an only child, so being a part of this big, fun family seemed a lot more interesting than my small family in our very quiet house. Now that I know more about them I don't want to be a Duggar, but I still do find them fascinating.

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I can honestly say that nothing, not the family, the travel or the money would be worth giving up being an independent, fully realized human being. Nothing would compensate for making my own decisions and choosing my work. Nothing would be enough to give over the rights to my own body. Not one thing would be enough to open my head and take out the compassion and education.

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I'm a bit jealous that they all seem so healthy. If I had 19 kids at least six would be sick at all times. Wait, no. That would be the summer months. During the winter months, at least 12 would be sick at all times. I would do nothing but go to doctor's appointments and pick up prescriptions.

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That's a great question. And we are in a unique position to be able to critically evaluate their lifestyle.

Of course I am content with my life, etc, etc, etc. But to have the financial stability Boob and J'Chelle have would be nice. And to have that safety net, that if whatever happens, the leg-humpers will give them everything they need and more. But as others have said, I would not give up everything I (don't) have if it meant I had to be as close minded, judgmental, and a blind follower of a totally misguided brand of Christianity. I love my critical thinking and ability to be able to do whatever I want.

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Like a couple of others have said, the ONLY thing I'm truly jealous of is how many opportunities they have had to travel. Other than that, they can keep their lives and I'll keep mine.

Oh, and I wish my parents could give me a house like the one Jill and Derick got to move into, but at least if I ever get married, my mother won't be hounding me for a baby two seconds after I say 'I do' (she's always said it's mine and my siblings decisions if we want children and she'll love any grandchildren she receives, but if all 3 of us decide not to have kids, that's OK because it is our life, not hers) and my father won't be interfering in my marriage the way Boob no doubt will with the Dills.

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