Are You Ever Envious of the Duggars?

[Suz8710]

First time poster, long time lurker. :)

I, unlike many of the responses, feel similar to the OP. Except for their really extreme positions on things, I'd love having a strong built-in support network like they have. I have a very small family and don't like my only sibling, so it'd be awesome to have a few more siblings (to say the least lol). I think being male in their world would be preferable only due to the increased freedom their appear to have, but even as a girl, it'd be nice not have to worry -- I am around Jana's age and am struggling with a lot in my life. So much is already planned out in their life (good or bad) that honestly, that I do envy the older girls. I'd feel needed which is preferable to feeling alone.

[Feberin]

I've always wanted more siblings so I guess I'm a little envious of that aspect of the kids' lives. I have one brother who has some mental issues and has no interest in having any relationship with me. So I've always wished I had a sibling with whom I was close to especially having a sister. Also their travels especially the idea as parents of being able to show your kids more of the world. I would love to take my kids on a trip to another country but it's not financially possible for us right now and I'm not sure if it'll ever really be something we can do with them. However none of that makes me forget the bad parts of their life. I can't imagine sharing a room with so many people or having to obey all the stupid rules or not being educated. I also LOVED college it was one of the best times of my life.

[Vivi_music]

I'm a bit jealous of their belief, especially their belief in heaven. GOSH, I would have loved to have the certitude that my loved ones are in heaven and that I would meet them in the afterlife. When my grandpa died, I had this doubt that I might never see him again. It was the hardest. When my uncle passed last spring, and it was the same feeling that saddened me. If I knew what was after death, or at least, if I was sure of my beliefs, how relaxing it would be.

[grandmadugger]

I'm jealous of their trust in god to sort everything out for them. I'm an atheist and believe I'm responsible for my actions and their consequences, so I would never have a child with a man I'm not 100% sure would make a good father, or if I didn't believe I could provide adequately for it. They just marry quasi-strangers, have few marketable skills and have loads of kids they could never afford to put through college and never second-guess themselves.

I wouldn't actually want their life of course, just like I wouldn't want to be a toddler who relies on my parents for everything and doesn't have a care in the world again. It's just the idea of taking a few steps back and living my life passively that's attractive.

I'd love to be able to get pregnant at the drop of a hat though.

I'm a Christian, tiny part Calvinist but mainly mainstream and still agree with you. I don't believe for a second my belief in God doesn't make me responsible for my actions or that all of my actions will be perfect. Most are smart enough to realize God gives us free will and that we are a bunch of f*ck ups.

[It'sFunToRun]

This. Derick and Jill appear to be totally in love, and I'm really jealous that she has this fairy tale life. She always did the right thing, has never faced any problems, found someone who really loved her and will likely be able to support her financially, got pregnant right away, and had people fawning over her the whole time.

I'm jealous that she is 23 and married and pregnant and happy and can be completely sure of her beliefs while I (who also tried to do everything "right" according to conservative Christianity) am 26 and divorced and dating an alcoholic who doesn't want kids and have no hope of ever having that "perfect" little family I dreamed of when I was a kid. Fuck that shit.

Break up with the alcoholic and find a nice guy who wants kids! You're 26, you have plenty of time left to have kids.

[Foudeb]

[dir=rtl][/dir]

I'm a Christian, tiny part Calvinist but mainly mainstream and still agree with you. I don't believe for a second my belief in God doesn't make me responsible for my actions or that all of my actions will be perfect. Most are smart enough to realize God gives us free will and that we are a bunch of f*ck ups.

Ive a feeling the Duggars genuinely believe they can do no wrong because God is looking out for them and that they take those 19 kids as evidence for this.

It also means anything bad that hits them will be that much harder for them - on top of grieving they'll have to deal with thinking god is punishing them.

[CorruptionInc.]

Ive a feeling the Duggars genuinely believe they can do no wrong because God is looking out for them and that they take those 19 kids as evidence for this.

It also means anything bad that hits them will be that much harder for them - on top of grieving they'll have to deal with thinking god is punishing them.

I think that they believe because they are so dedicated to God, that he will overlook their indiscretions (greed, fame whoring etc.) even though they don't realize they're wrong. Possibly they think they are indestructible (apart from when it comes to sexual feelings).

[feministxtian]

The only thing I'm envious of is the 30 year marriage. I'm coming up on 16 years married to a mentally ill, immature boy. (I know...my bad judgment). Ok....maybe I'm a little jealous at the lack of rebellious teenagers, my kids were nightmares as teens.

But...I would not like the lack of options, lack of education and narrow world-view. I'm educated, have a great career and think for myself. I'm a Christian...but have a much different POV than those narrow-minded people.

[Coco]

This. Derick and Jill appear to be totally in love, and I'm really jealous that she has this fairy tale life. She always did the right thing, has never faced any problems, found someone who really loved her and will likely be able to support her financially, got pregnant right away, and had people fawning over her the whole time.

I'm jealous that she is 23 and married and pregnant and happy and can be completely sure of her beliefs while I (who also tried to do everything "right" according to conservative Christianity) am 26 and divorced and dating an alcoholic who doesn't want kids and have no hope of ever having that "perfect" little family I dreamed of when I was a kid. Fuck that shit.

amen to all of this. And it's got to be why i post negative about Jill. If she had a little humility and a little knowledge of her own good fortune, and remember that she isn't blessed because she did everything "right", as if that somehow makes her better than others who have also kept the rules and it did nothing to help them, i'd wouldn't be Jill-hating as much.

No, i take that back. Her treatment of Jessa is starting to seem intentional. Jill deserves the negative comments. She's acting like a self-righteous, stuck-up, entitled, narcissistic brat.

[FreeHannie!]

I'm jealous they don't have student loans.....

[grandmadugger]

amen to all of this. And it's got to be why i post negative about Jill. If she had a little humility and a little knowledge of her own good fortune, and remember that she isn't blessed because she did everything "right", as if that somehow makes her better than others who have also kept the rules and it did nothing to help them, i'd wouldn't be Jill-hating as much.

No, i take that back. Her treatment of Jessa is starting to seem intentional. Jill deserves the negative comments. She's acting like a self-righteous, stuck-up, entitled, narcissistic brat.

I wonder what Jill thinks of the Bates girl (was it Erin?) who lost her baby? What happened to Erin, from what I read, isn't uncommon and should have any negative impact on her fertility. The thought that Jill thinks she is so much better than Erin makes me want to smack her.

[Toothfairy]

I wonder what Jill thinks of the Bates girl (was it Erin?) who lost her baby? What happened to Erin, from what I read, isn't uncommon and should have any negative impact on her fertility. The thought that Jill thinks she is so much better than Erin makes me want to smack her.

If Jill thinks she's better than Erin or any fundie girl, then she better know that God doesn't like that. Nor is it right to think that you're better than someone just because you got the perfect life. It can turn around in a second

[grandmadugger]

If Jill thinks she's better than Erin or any fundie girl, then she better know that God doesn't like that. Nor is it right to think that you're better than someone just because you got the perfect life. It can turn around in a second

I don't think Jill knows much about God on a personal level. I think she can vomit what she's been taught but doesn't have a deep connection to it. Mommy and daddy said this so that's what I believe. Part of me can help but think she saw Cathy's cancer as a punishment. I can just see her thinking, "Well if she hadn't worn pants she would have never gotten sick." I guess they skip the story of Job.

[Ella]

Things can appear rather cushy on the surface. But then I would just be super frustrated to know that I'm an adult and in a relationship, and today I have to get up and be filmed doing whatever unforeseen hijinks my dad thinks up for the camera like getting my boyfriend and me handcuffed together and making us perform activities that way. And then stand there while my mom pontificates about this being a guide to my future. While the viewing audience smirks at the sexual innuendos at the expense of my boyfriend's and my own respect.

I'll keep my respect and leisure scheduling options, thanks.

[It'sFunToRun]

I'm jealous they don't have student loans.....

:lol:

Dig a little bit deeper and you won't be jealous ;)

[It'sFunToRun]

Things can appear rather cushy on the surface. But then I would just be super frustrated to know that I'm an adult and in a relationship, and today I have to get up and be filmed doing whatever unforeseen hijinks my dad thinks up for the camera like getting my boyfriend and me handcuffed together and making us perform activities that way. And then stand there while my mom pontificates about this being a guide to my future. While the viewing audience smirks at the sexual innuendos at the expense of my boyfriend's and my own respect.

I'll keep my respect and leisure scheduling options, thanks.

I don't know if I agree; it's not like they have jobs, then they come home and in their spare time instead of relaxing they have to do that nonsense. That nonsense IS their job, and it's a lot less demanding than the shit actors (or other people with jobs) have to deal with on an everyday basis.

[CorruptionInc.]

If Jill thinks she's better than Erin or any fundie girl, then she better know that God doesn't like that. Nor is it right to think that you're better than someone just because you got the perfect life. It can turn around in a second

Not mention that being like that is very un christian like!

Seven deadly sins Duggars - ever heard of those?

[grandmadugger]

Not mention that being like that is very un christian like!

Seven deadly sins Duggars - ever heard of those?

How much of the Duggar's attitude reminds you anything of what is describe as a Christian attitude? They judge, they don't love their neighbor, the covet, etc. If they were normal people I'd say "Eh, we are all sinners they are no different." BUT, they think they are better than the rest of us "lowly" Christians who aren't fundie so :nenner:

[Closed Womb]

If I have to take the entire Duggar package, I'm not jealous of anything. But, if there are individual things that I can compartmentalize, I'm very jealous of several things.

For one, I just lost my husband after only 6 years of marriage. I was in my 30's, he in his 40's, when we met. I am very jealous that the Duggars met and married early. I would give anything to have had more time with my sweetheart.

The seemingly endless material/financial benefits of being on TV make me a bit green, although I would never be willing to be a public figure for those perks and financial securities.

[bluehydrangea]

I have turned this over in my mind, and no, I think I can honestly say I'm really not. I'm in the same age bracket as Jana, and I'm recently married to a great guy who I only found through, *gasp*, years of unsuccessful dating. By the time I found him, I knew precisely what I wanted and didn't want, and the connection and level of comfort that I needed in "that special someone". I have one younger sister, and am thankful that I didn't endure years of indentured slavery to care for a bunch of little kids -- it's really not my thing. I had the all-American college experience. My parents are divorced, and my mom is not particularly great at being a Mom to me, but my Dad is an amazing Dad. I have sassy, awesome grandparents. I have a career (even though I'm at a crossroads now, having recently quit to relocate for my husband's job), and a lot of potential opportunities there. I can wait to have children until I'm ready. I can wear what makes me feel comfortable.

I think the only thing to be jealous of in their case is the fact that they seem so self-assured and trusting in their way of life and "the Lord". But, when you think about the many ways in which they're misguided and lack freedom in that area, the jealousy quickly fades.

[Kak]

If I have to take the entire Duggar package, I'm not jealous of anything. But, if there are individual things that I can compartmentalize, I'm very jealous of several things.

For one, I just lost my husband after only 6 years of marriage. I was in my 30's, he in his 40's, when we met. I am very jealous that the Duggars met and married early. I would give anything to have had more time with my sweetheart.

The seemingly endless material/financial benefits of being on TV make me a bit green, although I would never be willing to be a public figure for those perks and financial securities.

So sorry.

[circularlogic]

I'm in agreement with several posters that I'm very jealous of their ability to have perfect trust in God and not worry about anything really. I remember my father telling me that "ignorance is bliss" and as I've grown older, I often find myself wishing for ignorance and stupidity...my life would be so much simpler.

Honestly, I've always had this weird fascination with religious zealots simply for their ability to believe the hype. They just look so damn happy all of the time...not a a care in the world. And here I am concerned over the economy, war, rising cost of gas, asteroids... you get the idea.

[FreeHannie!]

:lol:

Dig a little bit deeper and you won't be jealous ;)

Oh I know at least I got to go, it was just a light hearted comment :)

[LogansMama]

Ignorance is bliss.

[ariel9]

I'm envious of the female married Duggars.Im jealous everytime I have to punch a clock and rely on myself. I'm envious that they are so much better with a curling iron than I am. I'm jealous of their long hair. I'm envious of their free trips. I also know my dad will never give me a mansion to live in. My dad will also never buy a transatlantic flight for me to meet a guy. I'm jealous that their family sees each other all the time because mines only gets together for funerals and maybe holidays.Finally I'm jealous because I can never convince someone to buy me $30000 worth of crap.