Nightline Prime: Purity Balls

[EmiGirl]

I don't understand why these fundies don't just focus on strengthening the father-daughter relationship, instead of pulling this purity crap. Studies have shown one of the best ways to prevent girls from entering abusive relationships is to have a strong relationship with their fathers. Rather than having parties that celebrate fathers controlling their daughters' sex lives (ewww), why not just have a party that celebrate the father-daughter relationship? You know, a father-daughter tea party with dancing, and maybe throw in a few fun activities. All this focus on virginity will only make girls feel like their worthy is tied to their virginity. This type of thinking also makes them vulnerable to abuse, because it makes girls think someone else should control their sexuality, and that that's done to them reflects their value.

But they WANT their daughters to go into abusive/controlling relationships. The end goal is to get them married off to someone exactly like their daddy who will control every aspect of their lives.

[pomegranate82]

Good point! I hadn't thought of it like that!

[Handmaiden of Dog]

The biggest danger of associating an intact hymen with goodness and worth of the owner is that it can be broken in so many ways other than through voluntary sex. In my own case, I was raped at age 4 but tree climbing, biking, horseback riding, falls and other accidents can leave a blameless girl feeling dirty and worthless. The hymen is just a piece of skin and it is revolting to me that to some people it is worth more than any other part of the body.

[lemonhead]

The biggest danger of associating an intact hymen with goodness and worth of the owner is that it can be broken in so many ways other than through voluntary sex. In my own case, I was raped at age 4 but tree climbing, biking, horseback riding, falls and other accidents can leave a blameless girl feeling dirty and worthless. The hymen is just a piece of skin and it is revolting to me that to some people it is worth more than any other part of the body.

I'm so sorry this happened to you :(

You are right about the Deification of the Hymen. It's bizarre and disgusting. But not surprising really--it's just part of their need to control women's bodies. First it's the hymen, then later it's the uterus. Of course, if they can control your brain from infancy, that makes all of this easier for them.

[ADoyle90815]

But they WANT their daughters to go into abusive/controlling relationships. The end goal is to get them married off to someone exactly like their daddy who will control every aspect of their lives.

This. Fundies view women as property, first owned by their fathers, then the ownership is transferred to the husband who is approved by daddy. Part of ensuring that women will remain property is to find husbands that are abusive and controlling to keep them in line.

[Mela99]

Where's the purity ball for boys?

Of course. We're going with the girls being totally responsible for everything.

[doggie]

Where's the purity ball for boys?

Of course. We're going with the girls being totally responsible for everything.

boys can't be pure if they poses hands.

[Jana814]

Where's the purity ball for boys?

Of course. We're going with the girls being totally responsible for everything.

Soo true!! I just don't get the double standard in the Fundie world.

[Cleopatra7]

Did the reporter point out to any of the participants that signing a purity pledge or some other such thing does not correlate with delaying sexual activity in teenagers? If anything, it seems that the ones who take the pledges are more likely to have sex. I know that pointing something like this out could be construed as being disrespectful to one's subjects, but if you're going to spend on this amount of resources on a purity ball, it seems like the participants ought to know that they're really wasting time and money.

[pomegranate82]

I don't think the girls actually sign the pledges Cleopatra - the fathers sign something saying they will guard their daughters and the daughters sign as "witnesses" apparently.

[Adrienne83]

From the preview "you're married to God and daddy is your boyfriend" not creepy at all.

Wouldn't this mean the girl is cheating on God with her dad? I can't imagine God is ok with that. :naughty:

[Cleopatra7]

Wouldn't this mean the girl is cheating on God with her dad? I can't imagine God is ok with that. :naughty:

If God is the boyfriend to all these girls, does that mean God is a polygamist? :think:

[ILoveJellybeans]

If God is the boyfriend to all these girls, does that mean God is a polygamist? :think:

If God is our father, isn't it incestuous too?

[moreorlessnu]

There were parts of Mrs. Wilson's speech at the Purity Ball that I didn't hate. For example, when she said that (paraphrasing) magazines don't dictate your beauty, or something like that. However, she gives the same speech in the PrimeTime segment and the Purity Ball videos from several years ago. It's hard to tell if it's re-used footage.

Funny, how they show up on mainstream TV every few years. It seems like they show up each time they marry off a kid, perhaps to drive the message home that their methods work.

[fiery redhead]

They seem to be making up their own version of biblical gender roles. "We women get to put on makeup and be one the arm of our man and glorify him that way" what the hell? Is this the Playboy mansion? And yes the married to God daddy is your boyfriend thing is theologically incorrect on so many level and is just plain nasty. These people are effed up.

[Adrienne83]

If God is our father, isn't it incestuous too?

Incestuous polygamy sounds awesome!!!!!!111111oneoneonethatiscreepyasshit :angry-banghead:

[YPestis]

Well, I finally got around to watching the entire segment. Now, I'm not creeped out about the "daddy is my boyfriend" thing because little girls tend to project their role playing onto their parents. I imagine this idea of dad as substitute for the boyfriend a teenage extension of that childish sentiment. The other idea that the father is protector of his daughters' virginity is an age-old idea that's shared by many cultures so I'm not incredulous that either. In many ways purity balls are just recycled ideas created as a reaction against our modern societal mores, a pullback to the old days before women's lib.

Purity pledges carries with it a host of other morals. Being chaste is connected with abiding by traditional gender roles. Man is the provider. Woman the homemaker. Fundies probably think adoption of such traditional values would mean no abortions, no working women, submissive wives, no gays etc. Basically, all the moral decay they see in modern society could be wiped away with the ideas espoused through these purity balls. It's not just about their daughters' hymen, no more than abortion is just about abortion. Purity balls seem to be about creating a fantasy past that never existed. It infantilizes women, makes them feel they must forever be minors, offering them few recourse if there's abuse. Worse, I feel it places their future husband on a pedestal. Somehow, daddy will root out the "toads" and find you that Prince Charming that will always love and honor you.

The families they showcase are quite likeable and charismatic. Randy Wilson and co I've seen in the Virgin Tales documentary. The Indiana family is new and surprisingly unfundie in many ways. They send their kids to public school, their daughter plays soccer, the girls wear pants. Then again, they live in a small, Indiana town. Their fundie-lite ways is probably shared by many in the community.

Overall, I thought this segment was pretty good. It doesn't offer anything new (for me) but it covers most of the basics of the purity movement. My only issue with it is that they don't offer anyone to refute the idea of purity pledges. Studies show kids who promise to remain virgins delay sex by 18 months and are less likely to use condoms (probably due to lack of understanding of protection). To me, that's far more dangerous than having your daughters' go through multiple boyfriends.

They also focus too much on the ball itself, rather than on the social issues around it. I wish they'd interview more people within and outside the movement to offer different perspectives of the movement. Still, I enjoyed watching the ball itself. It is quite pretty. I can see how young girls would feel good about taking the pledge. It really does have a fairy tale-esque look to it.