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Ex-U.S. General: Jesus is returning to earth with an AR-15


Ralar

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Posted

Retired Lt. Gen. William G. "Jerry" Boykin is not known for being sane. Famed as the Bush-era general who put a divine crusading spin on the Iraq War, Boykin is now a leader of the religious right who wants you to know Jesus loves the Second Amendment . . . .

The Lord is a warrior and in Revelation 19 is says when he comes back, he's coming back as what? A warrior. A might warrior leading a mighty army, riding a white horse with a blood-stained white robe ... I believe that blood on that robe is the blood of his enemies 'cause he's coming back as a warrior carrying a sword.

And I believe now - I've checked this out - I believe that sword he'll be carrying when he comes back is an AR-15.

Now I want you to think about this: where did the Second Amendment come from? ... From the Founding Fathers, it's in the Constitution. Well, yeah, I know that. But where did the whole concept come from? It came from Jesus when he said to his disciples 'now, if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.'

I know, everybody says that was a metaphor. IT WAS NOT A METAPHOR!... And the sword today is an AR-15, so if you don't have one, go get one. You're supposed to have one. It's biblical.

It should come a no surprise that General Nut Job is Executive Vice President of FRC.

http://gawker.com/ex-u-s-general-jesus-is-returning-to-earth-with-an-ar-1526260312

Posted

These nut jobs won't be happy until they start WW III.

I got news for them: Jesus ain't coming back and the Antichrist is just a metaphor.

Posted

How is a sword the same thing as a gun. Jesus died hundreds of years before the Constitution was written so I do not see his point, assuming he even has a remotely rationale one.

Posted

This sounds like something family guy Jesus would do. I love the god and Jesus on that show. Aah.

But in all seriousness, I think Jesus would be ashamed of these peoples actions in his name. I mean didn't he advocate peace and love to all others?

Posted

Does anyone remember the SNL skit about Jesus coming back Quentin Tarantino style?

When I was in about the third grade, our pastor terrified me by saying that when Jesus returned, the blood of his enemies would literally touch his horse's bridle. When I asked my mother ho the gentle Jesus I learned about could be the same one that killed people, she told me not to worry, Jesus was only killing bad people. What a sick thing to teach little kids.

Posted

the most violent thing I remember reading that Jesus did was overturn some tables. The rest of the time he went around lunching with sinners, teaching forgiveness and love and feeding and caring for the multitudes. Did I miss some part of the New Testament where Jesus goes all medieval on somebody's ass?

Posted

Sheesh, everyone knows that he'd come back carrying an AK47... ;)

Posted
How is a sword the same thing as a gun. Jesus died hundreds of years before the Constitution was written so I do not see his point, assuming he even has a remotely rationale one.

Because swords are metaphors for guns to nut jobs like him.

Posted

Because God understood that when he wrote revelations the readers would interpret it according the context of their times but it only applies to modern day 'Merica.....or something....even though rifles didn't come about until the ....14th(?) century, Paul God whoever wrote revelation actually meant a a rifle that was produced in the 1950's (?).

Yup, sounds logical to me.

Posted
Sheesh, everyone knows that he'd come back carrying an AK47... ;)

Oh, you poor confused soul! Don't you know that the AK47, also known as a "Kalashnikov" was invented by a Russian commie? Jeebus wouldn't touch that thing, because 'Murrica and stuff. ;)

Posted

Serious question: Do any of you understand Revelations? I have read it multiple times and when I was still going to church, sat through an entire summer of sermons on it (which scared the crap out of this 13 year old) and I still think it is the most confusing thing I've ever tried to understand.

Posted

I won't claim I understand it, but the interpretation that makes the most sense to me is that is was written in the futuristic extravagant style on purpose to disguise it's purpose and avoid persecution by the Romans. Under that view, it was written about the issues of the day not as something for us to use as prophecy for our future.

Posted

Uh, obviously Jesus is coming back on Easter with the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and a grenade launcher... because Jesus is coming back to judge and you best be 'quick' or you're dead. Jesus always wins at Halo.

Posted
These nut jobs won't be happy until they start WW III.

I got news for them: Jesus ain't coming back and the Antichrist is just a metaphor.

I think of that scenario with Jesus returning and saying, "You bastards! You blew the whole thing up!" Except, he doesn't look anything like Charleton Heston.

Posted
Uh, obviously Jesus is coming back on Easter with the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and a grenade launcher... because Jesus is coming back to judge and you best be 'quick' or you're dead. Jesus always wins at Halo.

Right. Why go with a just a rifle, when you can come back as giant nuclear robot that shoots bees out of a canon. Up your game, Jesus!

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