Jesse Maxwell is gonna homeschool

[WonderingInWA]

Omg, I cannot stop laughing and I haven't even read the whole thing yet.

 

Please, go to the blog today. Enjoy!

[sparkles]

My, my. They really are starting to push the Reversals, aren't they? Especially if they're dragging Jesse, the heretofore Forgotten Maxwell, into the limelight. (Note Manly Man Stance)

Dear Jesse,

It would really help your homeschooling efforts if you would learn the difference between then and than. Thank you.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Oh Jesse. I honestly do forget he exists all the time.

ETA: #5 says: "I would have no concerns about my children being bullied as is prevalent on school campuses." Nope, you would just be letting your poor kid be mentally, psychologically, and spiritually bullied by their insane fanatic of a grandpa and their insane fanatic uncles. MUCH better. :roll:

(I'm not minimizing the seriousness of bullying AT ALL, but when it comes to being badly bullied at public school or growing up in Maxhell, I'm honestly not sure which is worse for one's longterm psychological health.)

[WonderingInWA]

My, my. They really are starting to push the Reversals, aren't they? Especially if they're dragging Jesse, the heretofore Forgotten Maxwell, into the limelight. (Note Manly Man Stance)

Dear Jesse,

It would really help your homeschooling efforts if you would learn the difference between then and than. Thank you.

I know -- what a way to end that post, eh? You know THAT will get fixed right away once Stevie sees we're talking about it.

[singsingsing]

What, they're expecting the Lord to drop wives off on the doorstep for their sons now too? It was bad enough when that was their strategy for getting their daughters married. I love how one of his reasons was to protect his kids from deranged individuals preying on groups of children. Does he have any idea how rare something like Newtown is, that the same thing could happen in a grocery store, at a church (even in a seniors' home), in a park, etc.? Homeschooling is fine, but I'm not sure 'hiding from mass murderers' is the most logical reason for it...

[WonderingInWA]

"the significant percentage of high school graduates who don’t know how to read."

Really, Jesse? Do you have some facts and figures for us?

"We could use Christian-based, educational materials that do not teach evolution and other godless ideologies that usually permeate secular textbooks and instruction. I have a friend who attends public school (in another part of the country) and has told me some of the unbiblical and ungodly things that are being taught in his school." He's got a friend who attends public school in another part of the country? Sure he does. Not. Even if he does, why is he allowed to be "friends" with him, then? (or, should that be "than"? LOL).

"...coarse language". I wish he would have said "course" -- that would have added just a bit more hilarity to his post. Maybe next time.

"They would be physically safe in our home from mentally deranged individuals preying on groups of defenseless children." This almost made me pee my pants. LOLOLOL.

[Jana814]

I have no words!! R the rest of the unmarried kids going to write their reasons also.

[anjulibai]

Is this supposed to be the next part of "To the Naysayers"?

[SPHASH]

"They would be physically safe in our home from mentally deranged individuals preying on groups of defenseless children.". Four words. Steve and Teri Maxwell. If I had kids I wouldn't let those two within 100 miles of them.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

"the significant percentage of high school graduates who don’t know how to read."

Really, Jesse? Do you have some facts and figures for us?

"We could use Christian-based, educational materials that do not teach evolution and other godless ideologies that usually permeate secular textbooks and instruction. I have a friend who attends public school (in another part of the country) and has told me some of the unbiblical and ungodly things that are being taught in his school." He's got a friend who attends public school in another part of the country? Sure he does. Not. Even if he does, why is he allowed to be "friends" with him, then? (or, should that be "than"? LOL).

"...coarse language". I wish he would have said "course" -- that would have added just a bit more hilarity to his post. Maybe next time.

"They would be physically safe in our home from mentally deranged individuals preying on groups of defenseless children." This almost made me pee my pants. LOLOLOL.

Hahahahahaha, I missed that. Very funny, Jesse. I think "lying for the Lord" might just be one of the lessons learned at the Maxhell SOTDRT.

[bean]

Is this supposed to be the next part of "To the Naysayers"?

It does have a "naysayers" tag, so it must be!

[salex]

Hahahahahaha, I missed that. Very funny, Jesse. I think "lying for the Lord" might just be one of the lessons learned at the Maxhell SOTDRT.

I suspect he had to add "From another part of the country" since locals would wonder who he had as a friend in his home town who went to public school.

How old is he?

[snickerz]

I'm sure the "friend" is someone at one of their conferences, that he practiced his conversation skillz on.

[nausicaa]

"I have a friend who attends public school (in another part of the country)"

It's the fundie version of "I do to have a girlfriend, she just goes to a different school so you wouldn't know her!"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[singsingsing]

That's the Maxwell version of a 'girlfriend who lives in Canada.'

[Justme]

I haven't read it yet, but doesn't he need to impregnate someone before he starts worrying about children? In his world, that means finding a wife first. And we all know, finding spouses hasn't been working out very well in Maxwell land .....

[WonderingInWA]

I thought that, too -- no worries, folks, it's not anyone local!

I'm thinking Jesse must be around 19? He graduated from homeschool in May 2012 so was probably 17 at the time?

[xReems]

They would be physically safe in our home from mentally deranged individuals preying on groups of defenseless children.

Mentally deranged individuals?! I'm sorry but don't you people prey on those heathens who have not accepted Jesus into their life?! No, sir, no, YOU people are mentally deranged individuals and it's a damn good thing that you plan on homeschooling instead of sending your children to a public or private school where your kids will torture those poor students who are not like you

[singsingsing]

I haven't read it yet, but doesn't he need to impregnate someone before he starts worrying about children? In his world, that means finding a wife first. And we all know, finding spouses hasn't been working out very well in Maxwell land .....

Didn't you read his post? He doesn't have to find a wife, apparently the Lord is going to bring him one. :roll:

[Justme]

Didn't you read his post? He doesn't have to find a wife, apparently the Lord is going to bring him one. :roll:

My first sentence was that I haven't read his post yet.

[Bubblewand]

Jesse's friends's name is George. George Glass.

(Brady Bunch reference for those of you not older than dirt, like I am)

[singsingsing]

My first sentence was that I haven't read his post yet.

Okay, I need to learn how to read... but I was also making a joke about Jesse's logic, not calling you out for not reading the post. ;)

[Justme]

Okay, I need to learn how to read... but I was also making a joke about Jesse's logic, not calling you out for not reading the post. ;)

Yeah, I gathered. The Maxwell "children" are just so successful on the marriage front. (Sarcasm)

[WonderingInWA]

Jesse's friends's name is George. George Glass.

(Brady Bunch reference for those of you not older than dirt, like I am)

Totally got it. And I will take you on for a lively game of Brady Bunch trivia any time! I'm THAT old.

[singsingsing]

Yeah, I gathered. The Maxwell "children" are just so successful on the marriage front. (Sarcasm)

It's really something else to watch people who smugly preached to others for years about how to best live their lives for optimal results end up failing spectacularly at their own game. The Maxwells remind me of Sarah Mally, the woman who wrote 'Before You Meet Prince Charming' and is still unmarried in her mid 30s. Yes, the Maxwells have two sons married, but also two broken engagements, a 32-year-old single daughter, and a bunch of other adult children with no prospects in sight. Hardly a selling point for the ideology they're pushing.