Jesse Maxwell is gonna homeschool

[bean]

Totally got it. And I will take you on for a lively game of Brady Bunch trivia any time! I'm THAT old.

See, I thought George Glass was a Bridesmaids reference (Kristin Wiig tells Jon Hamm that's who's going to the wedding with her). They must have stolen it from the Brady Bunch - I never would have made that connection. :)

[ILoveJellybeans]

Jesse, youre getting a bit ahead of yourself here. To homeschool, you first need children, and to have children you need to meet a woman who wont run away screaming once she meets your dad.

[Rescinded and Mended]

If the Lord brings a wife for me at some point and then gives us children, I would love for us to homeschool them. Here’s why:

The way he says it, apparently the Lord is going to show up with a six-pack and a wife when they watch the next football game. :roll:

[WonderingInWA]

If the Lord brings a wife for me at some point and then gives us children, I would love for us to homeschool them. Here’s why:

The way he says it, apparently the Lord is going to show up with a six-pack and a wife when they watch the next football game. :roll:

Tsk, tsk, Rescinded. Jesse Maxwell does NOT watch football. Sheesh, you should know that by now! It's idle, and can become an idol!

[bluelady]

If that wasn't the most random, come-out-of-nowhere post I've ever read. Why would they ask Jesse to write a post on homeschooling? He's graduated (right?) and has no children of his own. Very left-field.

Also, it's a terrible piece of writing. The teacher in me wants to pull out my red pen and have at it. How do you know there is a significant percentage of high school grads who can't read? Where are your stats? Your sources? What ungodly things did you hear about being taught in schools? (seriously. I'm interested in knowing what they consider ungodly - other than evolution, of course). What Christian resources would you use? Why? Can you give examples of students being bullied, or undesirable behaviour from peers? (also, here. I want to know what they consider undesirable. Cursing? Smoking? Drugs? Or is being on the basketball team enough to place you in the undesirable category?) How would you guide their behaviour? EXPLAIN!!!!

I've read better opinion pieces from my 7th graders.

[albanuadh_1]

If that wasn't the most random, come-out-of-nowhere post I've ever read. Why would they ask Jesse to write a post on homeschooling? He's graduated (right?) and has no children of his own. Very left-field.

You're absolutely correct! Wonder what prompted it?

[singsingsing]

Undesirable behaviour = knowing the lyrics to 'row row row your boat'.

[twin2]

If the Lord brings a wife for me at some point and then gives us children, I would love for us to homeschool them. Here’s why:

Dad told me so.

See Jesse you could have got to the point so much faster.

I see the arrogance apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Here is a boy, with NO experience or knowledge of public schools opining on why the are bad. Frankly, that posts sounds like it was written by a 5th grader, not a 19 year old. I hope the wife the lord brings him had a better education than he did or his kids are screwed.

[bean]

My favorite part is the caption on the photo: "Jesse Maxwell standing in an arch"

Just. I don't even know what to say.

[snarkyjan]

If the Lord brings a wife for me at some point and then gives us children, I would love for us to homeschool them. Here’s why:

Dad told me so.

See Jesse you could have got to the point so much faster.

I see the arrogance apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Here is a boy, with NO experience or knowledge of public schools opining on why the are bad. Frankly, that posts sounds like it was written by a 5th grader, not a 19 year old. I hope the wife the lord brings him had a better education than he did or his kids are screwed.

Any potential wife that IS better educated than him, will run screaming for the nearest exit. Especially if she's unlucky enough to meet VoldeSteve.

[FJismyheadship]

If the Lord brings a wife for me at some point and then gives us children, I would love for us to homeschool them. Here’s why:

Didn't most of us learn how to write better than that by middle school? It sounds like something my eight year old brother would write.

[AnywhereButHere]

The mundane is all they’ve got. It’s never going to be “Jesse Maxwell; watching lions on the Serengeti†or “Jesse Maxwell; at the Louvreâ€, “Jesse Maxwell; with the Christmas tree in Times Square†or even “Jesse Maxwell; watching the Superbowlâ€.

It’s always going to be Jesse Maxwell; in an arch or Mary Maxwell; cleaning ceiling fans. If they’re really living it up its, (Insert Maxwell child here); Bludgeoning people to death with their crazy opinions/leading a conference.

[sparkles]

You're absolutely correct! Wonder what prompted it?

To show how well trained the second generation is, that even before spouses and offspring are a blip on the horizon, they're planning on continuing Dad's godly mission. No disloyalty here!

And as I was thinking about this, I finally realized who Steve reminds me of. Here's a quote about the character I had in mind: "Rigidity of personality, feelings of persecution, unreasonable suspicion, a mania for perfection, and a neurotic certainty that he is always in the right."

And that would be...Captain Queeg from the Caine Mutiny. I can just picture Steve roaming through the Maxwell compound, rolling steel ball bearing between his fingers and muttering about disloyalty among the crew. If we ever see a bowl of strawberries in one of the Maxwells' endless boring photos, watch out.

[thoughtful]

I think I found a wife for Jesse -- she's modestly dressed and seems to like standing under arches:

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photogr ... ge29094232

[sparkles]

Jan would never do. She's quite guilty of the sin of jealousy. I can picture it now. "Mary! It's always Mary! Mary, Mary, Mary!"

[albanuadh_1]

Sorry, thoughtful, Jesse prefers to stand IN an arch.

[singsingsing]

Too bad they're not Mormon polygamists, because something tells me they would love the ladies from the FLDS.

[thoughtful]

Sorry, thoughtful, Jesse prefers to stand IN an arch.

Damn, and I came so close! :lol:

[latraviata]

My, my. They really are starting to push the Reversals, aren't they? Especially if they're dragging Jesse, the heretofore Forgotten Maxwell, into the limelight. (Note Manly Man Stance)

Dear Jesse,

It would really help your homeschooling efforts if you would learn the difference between then and than. Thank you.

I noticed that too and I made a comment about it as an 'atheistic, non native English speaking European'.

Steve M took the trouble to write to me an email.

Thank you. He missed it.

Steve Maxwell

"He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him." (John 3:36)

"Remember me as you pass by,

as you are now so once was I,

as I am now, you are to be,

so be prepared to follow me."

Words found on a gravestone

[Marian the Librarian]

This is one of those blog posts that falls under my mental heading of "Fundie Booty Call." "Look! Look here! Under the arch! I'm single and available and not getting any younger, and I want to homeschool my hypothetical children!!"

The air in Maxhell, it is so thick with desperation.

[erunerune]

"I have a friend who attends public school (in another part of the country)"

It's the fundie version of "I do to have a girlfriend, she just goes to a different school so you wouldn't know her!"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

"I met her at Niagara Falls." ---Brian Johnson, (The Breakfast Club)

[mastercleaner]

So now we have heard from Joseph, Anna (post about schooling), Sarah (had a post in there about loving the fact that she still was at home), and now Jesse are all addressing the Naysayers.

What about John? Have we heard from him ever? Mary is still too young to address the public.. but what about John?? Hes the mystery Maxwell that was the hardest to break.. and rarely speaks on the blog..

[formergothardite]

Undesirable behaviour = knowing the lyrics to 'row row row your boat'.

What's wrong with that song? Is it the "life is but a dream" part? For the Maxwells life is just a journey to death.

[twin2]

What's wrong with that song? Is it the "life is but a dream" part? For the Maxwells life is just a journey to death.

Or it could be the use of the "merrily" four times in a row. Life is not meant to be merry, it is meant to serve the Lord Jesus so you will not burn in the pit fires of hell for eternity.

[thoughtful]

Nope, there is nothing specific about the lyrics to Row Row Row Your Boat that is a problem. It is simply that it is not declaring the glory of Steve Jesus.

Really.

Steve is that messed up.