Server denied a tip because she's gay - Lie/Fired - Merge

[CelticGoddess]

@dawbs, they have their credit card bill which shows the same restaurant on the same day charging the bill posted plus an 18% tip, looks like it is not option #1.

I waited tables while I was in college and always leave cash tips for servers whether I pay with a credit card or not. You never know what the restaurant's policy is on credit card tips - I would not get mine until my next paycheck but I would still tip out to everyone helping me that night in cash.

Before these stories became almost daily news, I would leave a dash in the tip area and sign my name. Now I'm paranoid that my receipt could become the next news story - look how this table of four shorted me because of x,y&z. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I now write "CASH" in the tip line provided just in case.

The fact that their copy doesn't match the merchant copy is also suspicious. I can write anything on my copy and it doesn't mean squat. It is what is written on the merchant copy that matters (regarding the tip). No tip was written on the merchant copy. Yet the couple claims it was.

[thekate]

The fact that their copy doesn't match the merchant copy is also suspicious. I can write anything on my copy and it doesn't mean squat. It is what is written on the merchant copy that matters (regarding the tip). No tip was written on the merchant copy. Yet the couple claims it was.

It's easy to print off a duplicate receipt, and their credit card statement matches their claimed tip.

Plus, if the waiter's tale were true, why out yourself? No one knew who they were. They weren't getting any flak.

[Arete]

And the waters muddy...

The family says the server made it up and they have the credit card statement to prove it.

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Ga ... 40811.html

Warning: Loud video starts playing automatically.

I read this article, and in it the family made no direct accusation against the server.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/26/us/new-je ... index.html

However, they have made their copy of the receipt available which shows they wrote in a tip, and also say that the tip was charged as per their VISA statement. It is the restaurant that is investigating the server now.

This smells to high heaven.

[nokidsmom]

Agree duplicate receipts are easy to do. I remember getting three copies at a restuarant not too long ago as opposed to the usual two.

The restaurant would have the customer's names from the credit card receipt, so while they wouldn't be outed in the news, if this is an establishment they go to frequently, they could be wrongly tagged as those "homophobic customers" when in truth they aren't. So from that perspective, I can see why they would call that out.

[Lainey]

Me, too.

Me, three. It didn't ring true to me when I first read about it.

[Stephanie66]

I have been skeptical as well. It was just too weird.

To realize she got a 20% tip and THEN did this? Wow.

I used to be a server, so I always tip high and we eat out a lot more than normal people. (Partly due to hub's job...he is "on the road") Now I will not be leaving cash tips and will be careful about hanging onto receipts, I guess. It's unfair to other servers who prefer cash, but damn...I would hate for this to happen to us.

[1004srs]

Lying is common nowadays to get your way....to get attention...to get money. I pretty much take the side of the people who DO NOT go to the media first.

[Mama Mia]

I have been skeptical as well. It was just too weird.

To realize she got a 20% tip and THEN did this? Wow.

I used to be a server, so I always tip high and we eat out a lot more than normal people. (Partly due to hub's job...he is "on the road") Now I will not be leaving cash tips and will be careful about hanging onto receipts, I guess. It's unfair to other servers who prefer cash, but damn...I would hate for this to happen to us.

But if you switch to non-cash tip just in case you'll make it harder on the servers despite the bazillion to one odd that something similar will happen to you.

If we give in to Internet terrorism the Internet terrorists win :lol:

[BravaAmica]

Lying is common nowadays to get your way....to get attention...to get money. I pretty much take the side of the people who DO NOT go to the media first.

The server going to the press and displaying the receipt is what tipped me off, actually.

[Flossie]

I just found out that the waitress may have lied. Actually, it's starting to appear that not only is the tipping story a lie, but the waitress has been accused of being a 'compulsive liar'.

foxnews.com/us/2013/11/27/gay-new-jersey-waitress-in-tip-flap-is-compulsive-liar-friends-say/?intcmp=trending

It's a shame that some people will view the waitress's actions as a 'gay thing', when she's either a scammer or has a mental illness.

[crazyforkate]

The fact that it came so soon after that other exposed lie, with the woman who claimed a customer wrote something racist, was what raised suspicions for me. Never really thought it was true.

[Peas n carrots]

The fact that it came so soon after that other exposed lie, with the woman who claimed a customer wrote something racist, was what raised suspicions for me. Never really thought it was true.

It seemed weird it came up shortly after to me too...but on the other hand I thought the assholes in the first case may have inspired assholes nationwide to write notes!

It's too bad there have been a couple incidents this year that blemish the gay rights movement and overall societal tolerance of gays. People like this woman are only hurting the cause.

[Stephanie66]

Similar but different...my otherwise very nice mother in law is a very low tipper. We went out to dinner last night and the bill was over $100. (With a 10% discount) She left a 10% tip on the discounted amount. I gave a $10 bill to my son and told him to be sure to be the last to leave and leave it on the table. It is so embarrassing. It still wasn't 10% (because of the discount) but it would have been 8% without my $10.

I have asked my husband to talk to her...he said "Hey, she's paying for the bill, I am not going to tell her to increase the tip." So I guess I will just keep doing what I am doing. (sigh) At our wedding party that she paid for (night of our wedding, VERY upscale steak house) WE paid the tip to avoid it altogether. We offer to pay the tip a lot to avoid it.

She really IS a nice person and believes in things like increasing the minimum wage, etc. But she HAS the money to tip better. I don't quite understand why she won't.

[BravaAmica]

Some people don't tip. They just don't. They know that most servers in the US make $2.13/hr. They don't care.

[Stephanie66]

Some people don't tip. They just don't. They know that most servers in the US make $2.13/hr. They don't care.

I used to be a server, so maybe I am hypersensitive, but I would not eat out before I would leave less than 20%. I am sad she only ended up with 18% last night, but that was because I only had a $10 and no ones. And that isn't terrible.

It is irritating because she already got a discount! You don't take the tip off of the discount! You tip the full amount! Grrrr.

[BravaAmica]

I used to be a server, so maybe I am hypersensitive, but I would not eat out before I would leave less than 20%. I am sad she only ended up with 18% last night, but that was because I only had a $10 and no ones. And that isn't terrible.

It is irritating because she already got a discount! You don't take the tip off of the discount! You tip the full amount! Grrrr.

I'm right there with you. I waitressed. I lived on tips. So, yeah, I do not eat in a restaurant if I can't tip at least 20%. That's my personal choice. I do have to leave the tip when dining with certain friends and family members. I've just accepted that not everyone tips like I do. It makes *me* feel good to leave a generous tip for the server. It's my way of saying, "I know your job sucks sometimes. Hang in there."

As for the server who lied about the note on the CC receipt, I have no idea why she did it. The couple in question left her a tip. If they said something that pissed her off or she just didn't like them, that's no excuse for slandering/libeling them. She's opened herself up for a lawsuit. Good luck to her finding another job.

[JesusFightClub]

Some people don't tip. They just don't. They know that most servers in the US make $2.13/hr. They don't care.

It is very depressing, this :( I don't know how they live with themselves.

I always tip and I'm in the UK. That's for getting a tasty dinner served to me, or getting my hair cut, or getting a taxi. These are nice and friendly services that people give to you and it is good to say to them "Thanks for that, it was great". The best way is to both thank them and give them money, cos it's their fucking actual job, they've gone above and beyond, and they aren't going to be rich.

Taxi drivers tell you all kinds of weird things and also give you the benefit of strange political arguments as well as getting you where you want to go quickly. Hairdressers also tell you lots of interesting and weird things (the last haircut I had we ended up talking about everything from his ex-boyfriend in Scarborough to who should win I'm A Celebrity) as well as sorting your hair out so you don't terrify people. Wait staff have a hugely harassing and difficult job and still manage to be polite, friendly, and cater to your eating needs.

[BravaAmica]

It is very depressing, this :( I don't know how they live with themselves.

I always tip and I'm in the UK. That's for getting a tasty dinner served to me, or getting my hair cut, or getting a taxi. These are nice and friendly services that people give to you and it is good to say to them "Thanks for that, it was great". The best way is to both thank them and give them money, cos it's their fucking actual job, they've gone above and beyond, and they aren't going to be rich.

Taxi drivers tell you all kinds of weird things and also give you the benefit of strange political arguments as well as getting you where you want to go quickly. Hairdressers also tell you lots of interesting and weird things (the last haircut I had we ended up talking about everything from his ex-boyfriend in Scarborough to who should win I'm A Celebrity) as well as sorting your hair out so you don't terrify people. Wait staff have a hugely harassing and difficult job and still manage to be polite, friendly, and cater to your eating needs.

See, you and I acknowledge that the people in service jobs are honest to goodness, real, live human beings with feelings, thoughts and opinions. Many in the US look at a taxi driver or a server or a hair dresser (and even, yes, teachers because they "get summers off" which is the only reason they went into teaching in the first place. Grr.) and think to themselves, "Why don't they get a real job?" as if it's a moral failing to work in a service job. Makes my ass twitch.

[JesusFightClub]

I'm very sorry to say this attitude seems to be spreading :(

Laurentina in the US, who works at McDonalds, was on strike and did an Ask Me Anything column in the Grauniad.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... trike-wage

Nearly all of the questions were "Why did you get pregnant to a useless man 4 times?" or "Why did you think a service job should pay you enough to live on with 4 kids? You're not worth that much". It didn't matter how many times people explained what were likely to be the realities of Laurentina's life, the people posting basically had the same response. "Daft slag, doesn't care enough to better herself, keeps getting knocked up, she doesn't even deserve the pay she gets."

I was disgusted by this because we didn't used to be like this here. My dad left school at 14 to work in a factory and people praised him for being a man and getting a job. It was a rubbish job, but at least he didn't get an extra load of contempt on top of it. My mum was a SAHM until I was old enough to go to school, having given up her job in a shop to have me, and we lived in council housing. Nobody said to her "You stupid cow, you don't make enough money to have kids. And you want to stay at home living in housing I paid for? Get a job". That was 25+ years ago and before greed was good.

Nowadays unless you're a thrusting young exec in a big-city job or you're running your own business you've failed in life. Teachers too - I have heard a lot of the same thing you mentioned "Working 9-3 and getting long holidays, I'd love that cushy lifestyle" Which is absolute bollocks because every teacher I know works their arse off. They go into school at 7am and leave at 7pm and spend their holidays preparing lessons.

This is probably a symptom of the decay caused by advanced capitalism, but is certainly an unpleasant one.

[Ariel]

I'm right there with you. I waitressed. I lived on tips. So, yeah, I do not eat in a restaurant if I can't tip at least 20%. That's my personal choice. I do have to leave the tip when dining with certain friends and family members. I've just accepted that not everyone tips like I do. It makes *me* feel good to leave a generous tip for the server. It's my way of saying, "I know your job sucks sometimes. Hang in there."

As for the server who lied about the note on the CC receipt, I have no idea why she did it. The couple in question left her a tip. If they said something that pissed her off or she just didn't like them, that's no excuse for slandering/libeling them. She's opened herself up for a lawsuit. Good luck to her finding another job.

I'm that person now too :) My boyfriend was trying to explain to me why it is acceptable sometimes to leave less than 20% when you've gotten good service (you were only there for like 20 minutes, the server didn't do 'that much', etc) and I was just like "Nope, Nope, Nope" always 20%.

Having been a server full time, the only time I get upset is if a server makes a mistake, is informed of the mistake and then doesn't fix it. Because shit happens and it's pretty likely your server has 5 other tables and that sort of time-management and memory for detail is actually pretty hard.

[thekate]

She was fired/quit/let go. Apparently she has a history of lying (like that she had terminal cancer).

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/0 ... ostpopular

[sunshine]

http://www.examiner.com/article/new-jer ... hoax-fired

So, the lady who lied about not receiving a tip due to her sexuality has been fired. I wonder will she be sued by the people who gifted her money because of lie.

[Ariel]

She should have been fired, but this whole thing makes me sad. There are awful fucking people who refuse to tip due to sexuality/religion/whatever, and every time one of these scams is debunked those people get to feel vindicated.

"I never tip gay waiters, and this is why! They're awful liars who lie."

[Stephanie66]

I don't know how someone would know if a server is gay or not just from being served by him or her. If people don't want to tip, they won't tip. If they do, they do.

[formergothardite]

I just hope no one uses this as an example of why people who are gay are supposedly "bad". And I think there is already a thread about this in Wide World of Snark.