The Inspire Conference! (Maxwell's)

[Justme]

They are on the road again....

 

September 27-28th Louisville, Kentucky Weekend Conference

 

September 29, 30, October 2, and 3 Available Available to give single-evening conferences or concerts anywhere on our way to Virginia. Please contact us if you're interested.

 

New! October 1st Waynesburg, PA (south of Pittsburgh) Single Evening Conference

 

October 4-5th Roanoke, Virginia Weekend Conference View the detailed information

 

What a busy fall tour!! Do'nch love how they are now naming their "tours"?!?! And look, their posters now have QR tags! That 1tonramp has really been paying off!!

[darkplumaged]

Yeah, they're super hip with those QR codes!

I wonder how the Belleville conference went? The Arndts are probably the biggest, fundie-craziest family in all of Belleville... did they go?

I would love it if they happened to stop near a certain nation's capital, but I think they are too scared to come near this seething den of diversity. And I'm not sure I'd have the guts to go, anyway.

[Loveday]

I'm torn between being relieved they'll be at the opposite end of Virginia from me, and sort of wishing they'd come here so I could witness a Maxwell conference for myself. :think:

[Jenny]

I wish I could make the Waynesburg one. It's not that far from me. We are too short staffed right now to take off work. I could have dressed up as a fundie and everything. Is 30 too old to go to the teen session?

[FloraDoraDolly]

I wish I could make the Waynesburg one. It's not that far from me. We are too short staffed right now to take off work. I could have dressed up as a fundie and everything. Is 30 too old to go to the teen session?

Not if you are a stay-at-home daughter. :)

[gustava]

They are on the road again....

September 27-28th Louisville, Kentucky Weekend Conference

September 29, 30, October 2, and 3 Available Available to give single-evening conferences or concerts anywhere on our way to Virginia. Please contact us if you're interested.

New! October 1st Waynesburg, PA (south of Pittsburgh) Single Evening Conference

October 4-5th Roanoke, Virginia Weekend Conference View the detailed information

What a busy fall tour!! Do'nch love how they are now naming their "tours"?!?! :dance: And look, their posters now have QR tags! That 1tonramp has really been paying off!!

This schedule doesn't make sense geographically. Louisville, KY to Virginia (they hope), then north to Pennsylvania, then back to Virginia (they hope) then to Roanoke. Obviously, the Waynesburg conference was scheduled with rewording the "We're Available for Virginia" comment.

[Coconut Flan]

It looks like they can stay mainly on interstate highways with this plan. I considered going to Louisville to visit friends and family and take in the conference but decided it was too expensive.

[Mary C Doates]

I'm waiting for their Expire! conference. Because, DEATH.

[Justme]

This schedule doesn't make sense geographically. Louisville, KY to Virginia (they hope), then north to Pennsylvania, then back to Virginia (they hope) then to Roanoke. Obviously, the Waynesburg conference was scheduled with rewording the "We're Available for Virginia" comment.

Hey, beggers can't be choosey! They don't exactly have lots of invitations from which to choose!

[Hane]

I'm waiting for their Expire! conference. Because, DEATH.

I hate the overused acronym LOL. But I actually LOLd here.

[thoughtful]

Mary C Doates said:

I'm waiting for their Expire! conference. Because, DEATH.

And here is the program, based on their "Inspire" conference description:

The Expire Conference!

 

Details Regarding the Conference

We do not charge a fee. The Lord has always provided through love offering boxes on our book tables. Give us your money for books, because you are going to DIE soon.

This conference appeals to homeschoolers and non-homeschooling families who are obsessed with DEATH.

You don't need to be a support group leader to invite us. You only need to be obsessed with DEATH

We will need directions to get to your venue we don’t know where to go for the conference, but we do know where you are going when you DIE!

Sessions to the Family

Gospel Bluegrass Concert. Including selections from this wonderful album: http://www.amazon.com/American-Gothic-B ... B000089CJK

Be Expired! It’s not like you have any choice!

Sessions to the Parents

Help for the Time-Pressured Mom
don’t bond to those kids, they’re just gonna DIE!

Feeding the Sheep - Dad's Greatest Tool in Shaping His Family (I had to leave this one as is it’s just so creepy already)

The Blessing of a Meek and Quiet Spirit, because women should shut up and think about DEATH

Manager of His Home - Leading & Loving Your Wife Right Over That Cliff!

Keeping Our Children's Hearts in Jars on Our Desks

Teen Track

Brothers and Sisters, Best Friends Forever, or Until DEATH Comes to Claim You

 The Keys to Unlocking Your Future - What Little You Will Have Before You DIE

Who Really Is Jesus to You? Until We DIE, We Will Never Get This Title to Be Grammatically Correct

[Mary C Doates]

:lol:

And here is the program, based on their "Inspire" conference description:

The Expire Conference!

Details Regarding the Conference

• We do not charge a fee. The Lord has always provided through love offering boxes on our book tables. Give us your money for books, because you are going to DIE soon.

• This conference appeals to homeschoolers and non-homeschooling families who are obsessed with DEATH.

• You don't need to be a support group leader to invite us. You only need to be obsessed with DEATH

• We will need directions to get to your venue – we don’t know where to go for the conference, but we do know where you are going when you DIE!

Sessions to the Family

• Gospel Bluegrass Concert. Including selections from this wonderful album: http://www.amazon.com/American-Gothic-B ... B000089CJK

• Be Expired! It’s not like you have any choice!

Sessions to the Parents

• Help for the Time-Pressured Mom – don’t bond to those kids, they’re just gonna DIE!

• Feeding the Sheep—Dad's Greatest Tool in Shaping His Family (I had to leave this one as is – it’s just so creepy already)

• The Blessing of a Meek and Quiet Spirit, because women should shut up and think about DEATH

• Manager of His Home—Leading & Loving Your Wife Right Over That Cliff!

• Keeping Our Children's Hearts in Jars on Our Desks

Teen Track

• Brothers and Sisters, Best Friends Forever, or Until DEATH Comes to Claim You

• The Keys to Unlocking Your Future – What Little You Will Have Before You DIE

• Who Really Is Jesus to You? Until We DIE, We Will Never Get This Title to Be Grammatically Correct

Sounds Yah-some! Sign me up!

Oh, and DEATH.

[precious_one]

I live about a 15 to 20 minute car ride from the Louisville KY location. It is my 30th anniversary weekend so I will be unable to attend. :D

[kpmom]

I live about a 15 to 20 minute car ride from the Louisville KY location. It is my 30th anniversary weekend so I will be unable to attend. :D

Seriously? You'd rather celebrate your anniversary than hear how to get to heaven WHEN YOU DIE???!!!

Where are your priorities precious_one?

[precious_one]

Seriously? You'd rather celebrate your anniversary than hear how to get to heaven WHEN YOU DIE???!!!

Where are your priorities precious_one?

My priorities are submitting to my headship this weekend!! :wink-kitty:

[slickcat79]

New! October 1st Waynesburg, PA (south of Pittsburgh) Single Evening Conference.

Damn, they're keeping their distance from the city this time. Short notice on a weekday too...

[Marian the Librarian]

:lol:

And here is the program, based on their "Inspire" conference description:

The Expire Conference!

Details Regarding the Conference

• We do not charge a fee. The Lord has always provided through love offering boxes on our book tables. Give us your money for books, because you are going to DIE soon.

• This conference appeals to homeschoolers and non-homeschooling families who are obsessed with DEATH.

• You don't need to be a support group leader to invite us. You only need to be obsessed with DEATH

• We will need directions to get to your venue – we don’t know where to go for the conference, but we do know where you are going when you DIE!

Sessions to the Family

• Gospel Bluegrass Concert. Including selections from this wonderful album: http://www.amazon.com/American-Gothic-B ... B000089CJK

• Be Expired! It’s not like you have any choice!

Sessions to the Parents

• Help for the Time-Pressured Mom – don’t bond to those kids, they’re just gonna DIE!

• Feeding the Sheep—Dad's Greatest Tool in Shaping His Family (I had to leave this one as is – it’s just so creepy already)

• The Blessing of a Meek and Quiet Spirit, because women should shut up and think about DEATH

• Manager of His Home—Leading & Loving Your Wife Right Over That Cliff!

• Keeping Our Children's Hearts in Jars on Our Desks

Teen Track

• Brothers and Sisters, Best Friends Forever, or Until DEATH Comes to Claim You

• The Keys to Unlocking Your Future – What Little You Will Have Before You DIE

• Who Really Is Jesus to You? Until We DIE, We Will Never Get This Title to Be Grammatically Correct

So funny, thanks for the laughs! This is - dare I say it - inspired!!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

kpmom wrote:

precious_one wrote:

I live about a 15 to 20 minute car ride from the Louisville KY location. It is my 30th anniversary weekend so I will be unable to attend. :D

Seriously? You'd rather celebrate your anniversary than hear how to get to heaven WHEN YOU DIE???!!!

Where are your priorities precious_one?

My priorities are submitting to my headship this weekend!! :wink-kitty:

So are you saying "Sweet Fellowship" means more to you than gaining WISDOM from Steve?? :lol:

[thoughtful]

So funny, thanks for the laughs! This is - dare I say it - inspired!!

Don't give me too much credit -- I just took Mary C. Doates' joke, and stuck something about DEATH in everywhere. Steve makes it too easy to mock him.

[thoughtful]

I finally figured out who Steve really is. With his very unique brand of religion, emphasis on fear and death, and need to have people's hearts, he's this guy:

(warning -- somewhat graphic special effects)

KBIdcUxdgo0

Now all we need is Indiana Jones.

[johnhugh]

Poor Sarah wroteded

After we parked at the church and were situated, our dear friends surprised us with a visit. They saw our bus and stopped in. We were thrilled to spend a little time fellowshipping.

:angry-banghead:

Notice in this picture:

Each reversal that is making great conversationalists™ is fellowshipping™ about 1 or 2 meters from the 'friend' :cray-cray:

[Shoes Grace]

If that's how far away they stand from friends, their courting pictures are going to be more awkward than Kristina's.

[thoughtful]

Why do I expect to hear someone start calling a square dance? :lol:

[YPestis]

Well, you see, the Maxwell children are such great conversationalists that they don't need to stand near someone to preach to them. I'm honestly curious as to how the Maxwell kids approach a mainstream, secular person. I imagine they'd run off script very quickly with someone who doesn't fit into their narrow view of the world.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Thats quite far away, it doesnt look like this is a group of people talking to eachother, but rather a group of strangers waiting around for an event to start and hoping nobody strikes up a conversation with them