Adopted kid not working out?/Re-Homing Child (Merged Thread)

[already hungover]

I don't mean this to be offensive at all, but it seems like there are LOTS of Liberian adoptees who are being "rehomed," possibly more than from any other country. Can anyone shed some light on why this might be?

[Megan]

Probably a combination of Liberia's civil war, lax adoption regulations, and the fact that the adoption trend-setters in fundie circles adopted from Liberia (I believe Above Rubies adopted Liberian children). The US-Liberia historical connection might also have a role.

High number of adoptions from that country + quick adoptions + children who experienced trauma...

[Trudestar]

What the hell? I'm in shock I think.

So, you adopt a child, they turn out to be not what you planned on, so you ADVERTISE ONLINE and find them a new home? No involvement of authorities??????

Bloody hell, I've never heard of such a thing! I must've been living a sheltered life if this is a common occurrence.

Can't imagine anything like this happening in Australia, that's for sure.

Speechless! And more than a little sick to my stomach.

:wtf:

eta: This is nothing more than child trafficking!!!!!

[YPestis]

You dont "rehome" a child! What kind of monster does that? Nomatter what they do, theyre always your child, whether you gave birth to them or adopted them. I think I would judge anyone who would give their own child up for adoption (except for as a baby if they dont feel they could raise a child), as once you have a child, theyre yours nomatter what, let alone just illegally dump them on someone else.

There's another side to adoptions gone bad. Many older international adoptees have behavior and/or health issues which adoptive parents are unaware and/or unprepared for. Sometimes, families reach crisis points and end up giving up their child. It's a sad situation but not all parents are "monsters" for doing so. Some are just desperate. We have little support for children with severe behavior issues, and families may not be prepared to handle such troubled children, especially if adoption agencies and orphanages hide this from the prospective parents. Adoption can be lucrative for those involved, so it's in the facilitators' interest to hide problem children.

I've watched stories about parents giving up children, adoptive or otherwise, due to severe behavior issues (usually not so much medical). Typically, the line that's crossed is when the troubled child starts hurting the other children in the household. At that point, you have a child who really requires the full attention of the parents, which the parents cannot provide when there's siblings involved. Plus, it's not fair to the other children that a parent should pour all their attention on one child, while their other children are neglected and even live in fear of the dangerous child. It's equally tragic for the child because he may not understand why his behavior is so troubling.

To me, the issue here is the lack of support for children with severe mental issues, and for the lack of oversight and support for families who adopt older children overseas. As other posters noted, we could have children who are traumatized by war and other atrocities, or children institutionalized at a young age. All these factors could contribute to abnormal psychological development. What's worse is that this is not recognized by anyone until it's too late.

Anyway, I'm not trying to excuse what happened to the the children in the OP's link but wanted to present the "other side" of such an issue. Furthermore, a good parent (adoptive or otherwise) would never give up their child in such a nonchalent way, almost akin to selling a child through Craiglist. Children become vulnerable to pedophiles and human traffickers when people quickly dump their unwanted children like this. We do need better tracking of international adoptions. Children should not be transferred from one adult to another non-connected adult (i.e no social or familial connection) so easily. However, the situation is not as black and white as people think. Not all international adoptions go well. Even the most functional families may breakdown with a troubled child. In the end, the only thing we can do is advocate for better oversight and more support for situations like these. After all, these are no children that the US have taken responsibility for and should try to do right by them.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Who was the woman who re-homed her adopted child after posting pictures on her blog of the kid looking like a demon? It was that story that brought me to FJ, and now I can't remember anything other than the demon picture!

I remember that family, but not the mom's name. (Emma? Emily?) IIRC, the little boy was named Justice and there was also a sister named Lovelie.

[chaotic life]

Large, fundamentalist Christian families with no experience and no preparation were adopting from Liberia, primarily with facilitators who provided NO post-adoption support. Liberian children come with significant psychological struggles due to a horrific Civil War and the vast majority were placed in extremely punitive, rigid and unprepared homes who were completely unprepared to actually parent them. Consequently, they have a high disruption rate in general compared to other nations. Russia has a high disruption rate merely because it is one of the most prolific countries Americans have adopted from. Add to that the reality that Russian orphanages are NOT something most Americans can fathom and that Russia uses those orphanages in leu of a fostercare system so most children there were not in fact placed at birth but forcibly removed from abusive homes in Russia in the first place.

I completely understand violent children. I have lived that reality more than once. I understand being in over your head. I also know that I have been providing peer support for a decade and when a family is DONE, I rarely have sufficient time to get the children safely into fostercare before the parents have DUMPED them with the first person lined up, eager to take them. It's insanely frustrating to try to work with a family for safe avenues and be told a week or two in the process nevermind, we gave the child to some *stranger* who offered to take them. :angry-banghead:

Yes, post-adoption resources need to be better. But, we also need to aggressively prosecute those who do THIS.

[Peas n carrots]

The root of the problem is families (and it doesn't seem to be uncommon for them to already have bio kids) are adopting children from countries, and they are utterly unprepared for what they are going to have to deal with. I'm sorry, but Jesus is not going to cure a child who had an traumatic childhood. Are these agencies too full of Jesus and not giving the parents a reality check? Or at the end of the day, is it all about the Benjamins?

I just find it Imperialistic to begin with...these adoptoraptors are taking "godless" or "brown" older children to another country and just expect them to adjust and be grateful for it too. Oh, and Jesus will cure you of all your traumas.

I'm sorry if I'm incoherent, but this is a subject that makes me RAGE :evil:

[Khan]

This is child trafficking, I agree. Horrible. I can't imagine rehoming any of my pets. How could I do that to someone who could speak to me? Especially if I sought that person out and said "I'm going to take you home. You'll be safe and loved."

[Sola]

Call me naive, but when did children become disposable? To me, adoption is the same as birthing (ok maybe less physically painful...). There is no difference between an adopted child and ones born in the family. Would these families toss out their biological children if they started playing up? No, of course not. Well you don't do it with adopted children either. They are your kids, deal with it. This is not a dog you are rehoming. Anyone who does this should be prosecuted IMHO.

[sonja_kat]

This is absolutely sickening. One set of parents wanted to "rehome" after five days of bringing a child from China. I'm sorry but this is criminal. The State Department has got to get more aggressive with these international adoptions. Anyone who tries to bypass laws and proper channels should be jailed. One of the fathers is a POLICE OFFICER for heaven's sake. He should have known better. Also, people seeking to adopt, especially internationally, should be required to attend hours of training and undergo massive and thorough home studies. These prospective parents have to know that the road may be rough at times, and the kids may not always bond right away, but they won't be allowed to just discard children like an unwanted bale of cotton.

And, how can anyone look at those two Eason riff-raffs and not see something psychotic? No sympathy for any of them, except the children of course. Jail them.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Call me naive, but when did children become disposable? To me, adoption is the same as birthing (ok maybe less physically painful...). There is no difference between an adopted child and ones born in the family. Would these families toss out their biological children if they started playing up? No, of course not. Well you don't do it with adopted children either. They are your kids, deal with it. This is not a dog you are rehoming. Anyone who does this should be prosecuted IMHO.

After reading this thread and the ones on the Hana trial, that's a big question I have too.

Apparently if I adopted a kid and it didn't work out, I can somehow contact some shady people on Craigslist or whatever and give the kid up. That just sounds utterly off the world crazy to me, the threads have certainly been eye-opening.

Well... what if it's a kid I birthed myself? Are people trying this "rehoming" thing with biokids too?

I also might be naive, and I don't even have any kids of any sort, but it seems to me that you legally adopted a kid, that's the same as birthing it, and so... you're stuck being a parent now. The kid is YOURS and so it seems you'd have a responsibility to get the kid therapy or out of the home placement or hospitalization or the sort of services (ideally there's some services) the same way you (ideally) would need to do for a kid that you birthed who similarly became violent for whatever reasons.

I have heard of well-meaning good parents who have given their kids back up or divorced and things like that on paper purely to qualify for more services for those kids whom they certainly consider their own kids forever still, that to me is different.

And finally it strikes me that in so many of the fundie abuse cases talked about here, the kid is already at a serious disadvantage simply for not being put in school. School is free respite, plus there are other more experienced eyes seeing the kid on a regular basis to notice any issues coming up and maybe offer an in to therapy for parents who maybe otherwise wouldn't know where to start the process. It's not anything against homeschooling if it's all going well and fine, but when it isn't... well, school is a free door into the system isn't it?

[justmissedquiver]

I've only begun to read some of the stories about re-homed children. Its such a difficult topic for me. And although I can see how without some type of ethical oversight and regulation it turns out horribly, but sometimes adopted children ARE mismatched or the adoption fails in someway. I wish to god I'd been ethically rehomed to a family with the emotional resources and capabilities to raise me. My older, biological brother was removed from the home I was left in and he feels horrible (although at 8 he was completely unresponsible for me) that I was left there. :cry:

I wish there was a world where all children were wanted and there were no need for discussions like this.

[rward]

What gets me is the parents in the article cry crocodile tears about seriously disturbed, aggressive children. But the Barnes family could have had respite care for their daughter, they just would have had to pay for it. That was the point at which a stranger from the internet became the "only option".

Uh huh, okay.

[FakePigtails]

I think I just saw a preview of a segment about this on tonight's NBC Nightly News.

[tayste1]

One couple "rehomed" a child because his feet and ears "looked funny." All of this makes me sick. This especially:

For Nicole Eason, acquiring the girl was easy. “I seen three pictures of her, talked to her on the phone twice, and spent an hour with her before she was all mine,†she said in an interview.

WTF. Even if these adoptive "parents" don't have a bond with the child how in the hell could they just leave them with complete strangers? I just cant wrap my head around it.

[tigerchild]

Call me naive, but when did children become disposable? To me, adoption is the same as birthing (ok maybe less physically painful...). There is no difference between an adopted child and ones born in the family. Would these families toss out their biological children if they started playing up? No, of course not. Well you don't do it with adopted children either. They are your kids, deal with it. This is not a dog you are rehoming. Anyone who does this should be prosecuted IMHO.

I think you are being naive about this. Not in a bad/insulting way, but this idealism is probably at work in some of the families that implode with adoption as well.

Adoption is *not* the same as birthing.

Adoption often comes with unique issues to adoption, faced by both the adoptees and the adoptive parents. The idea that love conquers all is extremely damaging even with biokids (for example, people often think that if they don't feel super bonded to their expected child in the womb or right after birth they must be monsters...but that is unfair and untrue...some perfectly normal people do take some time to bond post-birth!).

To say there is no difference between an adopted child and ones born in the family is a lie. It's a lie that many times is told in a well meaning sense, but can be hurtful to the adoptee as well. Difference does not mean less love and less wanted and less a part of a family. But to deny that there ARE some fundamental pragmatic differences is part of the dissonance that many (even non-angry) adoptees experience at some point growing up.

And yes, some people relinquish/institutionalize their biological children if there is severe mental illness or special needs.

I agree with the previous poster that the real solution (harder than pointing the finger at any one category of people) is to ensure that there is adequate funded and accessible support for ALL families experiencing mental health/adjustment issues, especially severe ones. No matter where the child came from.

And yes, we need to have reform and more regulation in the adoption industry. I'm a biracial adoptee who was placed with a good christian white abusive family. I have a dog in this fight, a big one, on a lot of different fronts. I too am glad these dangerous practices are being brought to light. Unfortunately the adoption industry lobby is very rich. They've suppressed many regulation attempts, and are part of the reason why screening, ect. is extremely lax (IMO). The public is sympathetic to upset potential adoptive parents who feel miffed that their 'privacy' is being invaded by a social worker screening them/their family/asking personal questions; IMO people who can't get over that should be automatically disqualified from adoption...because they might have to deal with a whole hell of a lot more uncomfortable things from within the family later on.

[dianapavelovna]

The final part is up today.

http://www.reuters.com/investigates/ado ... icle/part5

I can't get over the sense of victimhood so many of these parents have. Yes, raising an adopted child can be infinitely difficult, just like raising a biological child can be. But they seem able to only see their struggles, completely lacking empathy for these kids. For example:

Priscilla says they withdrew money from their bank account and hid the cash under their bed so Michigan officials wouldn't know they had it. Though they lived halfway across the country, they instructed their other children not to answer the door in case child welfare workers visited.

"The judge had a chip on his shoulder … and threw the book at us," Priscilla says. "He said, 'I'm not going to let people like you take kids into this country and then dump them into the system.' … We lived with fear."

Oh boo fucking hoo. Someone wanted you to be responsible for a child you adopted and you were scared they'd nail you for money. I'm sure Inga was totally unafraid when you shipped her off around the country and abandoned her.

[chaotic life]

The on thing I learned in my experience is that those who re-home their children in this underground may feel desperate but they are also horrible people. I used to tell myself to have compassion, that I knew what issues families could potentially face, and I understood what it is like to feel like you are at the very end of your rope. Then, someone dumped their kid on my doorstep AND acted like they had done me the biggest favor in the world and how DARE I say this was wrong, expect them to provide some level of support, and respect HIS boundaries while he was hurting. I watched them tell people that we were profiting from him (we didn't get ONE PENNY from those people AND they showed up with a starving kid, only two days left of his meds and not enough close keep him clothed among other issues).

I have NO compassion for those who dump their kids in this underground black market now. I know that all families who take in these children are not nefarious and dangerous. I know lots are like us, simply experienced adoptive parents trying to help a child in need. I also know there are those who are pedophiles and criminals as well as collectors who seek to make money off these kids. Unfortunately, the ONLY people vetting where these kids go are the families who have forgone legal resources and avenues and dumped these kids in the first place. Most of these families are NOT interested in safe placements but FAST placements.

I've provided peer support more than once to families who were looking to re-home and before I could help them get children moved in safe avenues, they just dumped the children in the first doorway that would let them dump them and walk away. The family who dumped my son never ONCE attempted to vet us. I was researching them, speaking to his doctors and therapist (who wasn't herself fully honest until after he entered my home that she had only seen him twice because the family wasn't really taking him TO therapy) and insisted on getting his school records (there were no real records, they never bothered to actually provide an education), medical records, etc. I assumed they were going to ask us for our most recent homestudy, at the VERY least. We had just moved states and I was trying to figure out who I could provide as references to verify who we were. They never asked for ONE DETAIL about us. I offered details, because I couldn't believe they would be looking to place this child without getting real information, but they didn't ask for it.

They kept wanting to send me pictures and tell me how cute he was, and all I could think was who cares what he LOOKS like. I need to determine if I can help him, and if I can do so without jeopardizing the safety of my other children!

I really think the only way to stop this underground is a combination of full access to post-adoption services for ALL adoptive families, regardless of whether the children were adopted domestically or internationally across the country, and FIERCE pursuit of criminal charges for those who do this to their children.

[GawkingToo]

chaotic life, it would be awesome if you would chime in on the Fosterhood blog (if you haven't done so already): fosterhood.tumblr.com/post/61027988893/erin-articulates-the-barriers-to-reaching-out-to

The on thing I learned in my experience is that those who re-home their children in this underground may feel desperate but they are also horrible people. I used to tell myself to have compassion, that I knew what issues families could potentially face, and I understood what it is like to feel like you are at the very end of your rope. Then, someone dumped their kid on my doorstep AND acted like they had done me the biggest favor in the world and how DARE I say this was wrong, expect them to provide some level of support, and respect HIS boundaries while he was hurting. I watched them tell people that we were profiting from him (we didn't get ONE PENNY from those people AND they showed up with a starving kid, only two days left of his meds and not enough close keep him clothed among other issues).

I have NO compassion for those who dump their kids in this underground black market now. I know that all families who take in these children are not nefarious and dangerous. I know lots are like us, simply experienced adoptive parents trying to help a child in need. I also know there are those who are pedophiles and criminals as well as collectors who seek to make money off these kids. Unfortunately, the ONLY people vetting where these kids go are the families who have forgone legal resources and avenues and dumped these kids in the first place. Most of these families are NOT interested in safe placements but FAST placements.

I've provided peer support more than once to families who were looking to re-home and before I could help them get children moved in safe avenues, they just dumped the children in the first doorway that would let them dump them and walk away. The family who dumped my son never ONCE attempted to vet us. I was researching them, speaking to his doctors and therapist (who wasn't herself fully honest until after he entered my home that she had only seen him twice because the family wasn't really taking him TO therapy) and insisted on getting his school records (there were no real records, they never bothered to actually provide an education), medical records, etc. I assumed they were going to ask us for our most recent homestudy, at the VERY least. We had just moved states and I was trying to figure out who I could provide as references to verify who we were. They never asked for ONE DETAIL about us. I offered details, because I couldn't believe they would be looking to place this child without getting real information, but they didn't ask for it.

They kept wanting to send me pictures and tell me how cute he was, and all I could think was who cares what he LOOKS like. I need to determine if I can help him, and if I can do so without jeopardizing the safety of my other children!

I really think the only way to stop this underground is a combination of full access to post-adoption services for ALL adoptive families, regardless of whether the children were adopted domestically or internationally across the country, and FIERCE pursuit of criminal charges for those who do this to their children.

[thoughtful]

I know that all families who take in these children are not nefarious and dangerous. I know lots are like us, simply experienced adoptive parents trying to help a child in need. I also know there are those who are pedophiles and criminals as well as collectors who seek to make money off these kids. Unfortunately, the ONLY people vetting where these kids go are the families who have forgone legal resources and avenues and dumped these kids in the first place. Most of these families are NOT interested in safe placements but FAST placements.

(snip)

I really think the only way to stop this underground is a combination of full access to post-adoption services for ALL adoptive families, regardless of whether the children were adopted domestically or internationally across the country, and FIERCE pursuit of criminal charges for those who do this to their children.

Makes sense to me. I'm still in the process of learning about all of this, and the idea that people just give away children, and that there isn't better oversight and law to prevent it, boggles my mind.

Other than the usual "write your congressperson" move, are there specific things an outsider can do to help? Are there organizations working to improve the situation?

Is there any sort of informal network of decent people who, like you, have taken in children who were dumped by adopters? Do you have support from others in your situation?

Besides being enraging and exhausting, it seems like living with what you know about this craziness, as well as all of the work you do to help the individual children, has the potential to be very lonely. I hope you've found others you can trust.

[chaotic life]

I have support in my community, both online and in real life. I was actually in a school meeting this morning discussing how last year we had to teach this child how to be HUMAN and this year we have to actually work on his academics.

I knew how to go this, that's the main reason we ultimately said yes to taking this child, even though it was not our intention when I offered the family support. I had his therapy set up before he ever got here. I had school set up. He's NOW all caught up with his vaccines and been through rigorous medical evaluations. He has ELL classes and this year he is with teachers who understand what is going on, have small classrooms to work 1:1 with him, and a school that has been AMAZING for this child. Seriously, more than one educator has told me that THIS is the scenario that you spend your whole career hoping to be able to make that difference for a child and HE is the opus of most of his school staff in their ability to stretch themselves and learn how to help him.

If I need it, I can attend local support groups. I have online friends, both other adoptive families and long-term friends, since we only moved where we are less than two years ago. There are some wonderful services locally.

The catch is this. I moved to a very, very LIBERAL state when I moved just before taking this child in. Granted, I knew where to tap into the resources in my last state because I fought my way through a patchwork quilt of services there. Here, those services are stronger and available to ALL adoptive families. My last state was in the south. I cannot see southern states making the changes that this northern state takes for granted. Here--everyone truly lives the concept of everyone works together to raise children. I'm sure they all think we're out of our minds, but they have welcomed our kids, including this one, with open arms here.

I work very grassroots from within the system. Try contacting Ethica and PEAR for starters, or look at initiatives in your state for reform. Being a political activist for me will have to come after I am out of the trenches of raising these kids personally. I have a couple friends I can ask how you can get involved. I know there are fostercare alumni groups in a lot of states working with the children aging out directly, and they do not discriminate against international adoptees. There are groups working for reform, but I'm not currently involved in them.

In my liberal state, I can tap into ALL of the resources for post-adoption services and it doesn't matter how my kids came home. Where we came from, that's unheard of. In that state, my sister is a pediatrician and STILL contacts ME when she needs to find resources for adoptive families who are having post-adoption issues. There, if you adopt out of the state's fostercare system (or cross state lines) you are cut off from all options available.

[Palimpsest]

I think you are being naive about this. Not in a bad/insulting way, but this idealism is probably at work in some of the families that implode with adoption as well.

Adoption is *not* the same as birthing.

Adoption often comes with unique issues to adoption, faced by both the adoptees and the adoptive parents. The idea that love conquers all is extremely damaging even with biokids (for example, people often think that if they don't feel super bonded to their expected child in the womb or right after birth they must be monsters...but that is unfair and untrue...some perfectly normal people do take some time to bond post-birth!).

To say there is no difference between an adopted child and ones born in the family is a lie. It's a lie that many times is told in a well meaning sense, but can be hurtful to the adoptee as well. Difference does not mean less love and less wanted and less a part of a family. But to deny that there ARE some fundamental pragmatic differences is part of the dissonance that many (even non-angry) adoptees experience at some point growing up.

And yes, some people relinquish/institutionalize their biological children if there is severe mental illness or special needs.

I agree with the previous poster that the real solution (harder than pointing the finger at any one category of people) is to ensure that there is adequate funded and accessible support for ALL families experiencing mental health/adjustment issues, especially severe ones. No matter where the child came from.

And yes, we need to have reform and more regulation in the adoption industry. I'm a biracial adoptee who was placed with a good christian white abusive family. I have a dog in this fight, a big one, on a lot of different fronts. I too am glad these dangerous practices are being brought to light. Unfortunately the adoption industry lobby is very rich. They've suppressed many regulation attempts, and are part of the reason why screening, ect. is extremely lax (IMO). The public is sympathetic to upset potential adoptive parents who feel miffed that their 'privacy' is being invaded by a social worker screening them/their family/asking personal questions; IMO people who can't get over that should be automatically disqualified from adoption...because they might have to deal with a whole hell of a lot more uncomfortable things from within the family later on.

Liking is not enough. I agree, especially with the bolded. I too have a dog in this fight. Fortunately this series seems to be making a big impact. I hope it lasts.

Here is another case where disruption would have been a good thing, but the adoption should probably not have gone through in the first place. If they don't accept a plea bargain, the next big case to go to trial is the Barbours in October. A Deputy Attorney General and his wife adopted two Ethiopian children through a "Christian agency" and abused them severely. As with Hana, Pearl methods of discipline were used by the Barbours. Both children are alive, but the little girl was blinded and paralyzed due to severe head injuries.

Trigger warning for the link. This is another horrible case:

reformtalk.net/2012/10/06/how-could-you-hall-of-shame-prosecutor-douglas-barbour-and-kristen-barbour/

Anyone in PA who could go to court to show support for these two little ones and report on what happens?

[SoybeanQueen]

If adoption agencies are being less-than-forthright, or if they are not vetting adoptees very well, a lot of this is on them.

Yes. Absolutely. As we prepared to adopt, I talked with everyone I could related to my kids' case to see whose stories matched up and to have as much info as possible. We were lucky that we found trustworthy people to work with, but there are plenty of people who will gloss over issues to get a child moved.

Reform is absolutely necessary in the adoption industry. You're correct that there are groups that do a better job of placing pets than some do for children.

I also know that some adoptive families get so wrapped up in "I was called by God!" and the idea of having this big, lovely, multi-cultural family and the ego boost of saving "orphans" that they are all too willing to ignore red flags. They believe that the kids will be grateful for the adoption, and that love and a warm bed and hot meals will be enough to make everything OK. When it's not OK, they turn tail and run instead of doing the hard work to truly help their child work through their trauma.

One of my friends told me yesterday that an acquaintance suggested she rehome her daughter because she was in a particularly difficult phase (home less than a year, too!). My friend feels the same way I do about it. Either they're your kids, or they're not. If they're your kids, you work through it, even when it's gut-wrenchingly hard. You drive to therapy multiple times per week. You show them love even when they can't return it, and show them that you aren't going to give up on them, even when they act their worst.

Someone I know assumed that we would send our kids away when I found out I was pregnant shortly after they came to live with us. Yeah, that's how I want my family to work! Have a baby? Get rid of a few older ones....

[thoughtful]

I have support in my community, both online and in real life.

(snip)

If I need it, I can attend local support groups. I have online friends, both other adoptive families and long-term friends, since we only moved where we are less than two years ago. There are some wonderful services locally.

(snip)

I work very grassroots from within the system. Try contacting Ethica and PEAR for starters, or look at initiatives in your state for reform. Being a political activist for me will have to come after I am out of the trenches of raising these kids personally. I have a couple friends I can ask how you can get involved. I know there are fostercare alumni groups in a lot of states working with the children aging out directly, and they do not discriminate against international adoptees. There are groups working for reform, but I'm not currently involved in them.

Glad to hear you are not alone. I will look into Ethica and PEAR and see what I can find locally.

[SoybeanQueen]

The root of the problem is families (and it doesn't seem to be uncommon for them to already have bio kids) are adopting children from countries, and they are utterly unprepared for what they are going to have to deal with. I'm sorry, but Jesus is not going to cure a child who had an traumatic childhood. Are these agencies too full of Jesus and not giving the parents a reality check? Or at the end of the day, is it all about the Benjamins?

Pretty much, yes. But more the Benjamins than the Jesus.