The Truth About Ruth - Part 3

[Mecca]

Totally random thought that I just remembered, but during that whole Penn Mommy crap I remember Penn Mommy claiming that Kate Gosslin went all bonkers on her because she ate a yoghurt out of Kate's fridge. So bizarre.

[MsSaylor]

Yeah and it's offensive when people either make up those illnesses or project them on their kids. Someone up thread mentioned a family member who fakes that their child has autism. As someone who really does have a child with autism it's just yeah makes me roll my eyes. Don't know why anyone would wish autism on their child. Any attention that I get from it is not desirable nor does it make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Edited for riffles

[Coconut Flan]

They don't understand that it's not all the "perks" because they don't really have the bad stuff to deal with, which is why people that really have chronic conditions are like yeah...no.

So very much this. I've been known to ask them if they would really trade not working for living in constant pain. That usually works.

[nokidsmom]

Yeah and it's offensive when people either make up those illnesses or project them on their kids. Someone up thread mentioned a family member who fakes that their child has autism. As someone who really does have a child with autism it's just yeah makes me roll my eyes. Don't know why anyone would wish autism on their child. Any attention that I get from it is not desirable nor does it make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Edited for riffles

It has to be maddening to watch someone fake a child's illness when you are dealing with the real thing. Not to mention that doing so takes up resources meant for a child with the real deal.

[libmomj]

Has anyone noticed the Disney theme in some of Ruth's likes? There is Disney stuff on Pinterest, in her Amazon reviews, and in her Amazon wishlist. She also requested donations to send Rachel to Disney. Makes me wonder what that is all about (?) Could be some connection or maybe she just really likes Disney.... A LOT!

Perhaps she has another alias on a Disney vacation forum.

[Mustang Sally]

Perhaps she has another alias on a Disney vacation forum.

I got the sense that Disney is an interest/hobby of hers...and at the same time, I wouldn't be surprised if one of her identities cropped up on a Disney forum somewhere. If that makes sense.

[Justdrea81]

Fibromyalgia is another one that people use as a catch all. It's a real illness but those who like exaggerate their symptoms for sympathy often pick Fibro because the symptoms are similar to other autoimmune disorders and easy to fake to people who don't much about it. It's a fave of the hypochondriacs. (I probably just gave RR her next scam illness!)

The thing that jumps out at me is those of us who actually live with these autoimmune struggles _live_ with them. Meaning, it's our day to day life. We're not out and about on the interwebs complaining and looking for attention (mostly). If anything, in our daily lives we'd like less attention. I go online for entertainment and to forget my struggles. I might go on a specific medical board and ask a question but I'm not going to do the same on a celebrity gossip site. That's the big difference between someone with a medical issue and one who is faking it. Those who fake it and love the attention think those who have it for real love the attention and they try to mimic us. In my experience that's not true. Having personality disordered people in my life with a penchant for hypochondria has given me a lot of insight into their twisted thinking (jealousy). I think RR/PM falls into this same camp. She has just taken it to the web.

If you follow some of the other names associated with RR you will find claims of lupus, stroke, heart surgery, and chemo/cancer. All of which she seems to bounce back from rather quickly. None of them seem real if you know anything about those conditions.

I totally agree with this. I was given a fibro diagnosis because I kinda fell in that category, and it fit best. But I tend not to advertise it to the world. I do my best to go about my daily life and manage the illness without a flare. With the amount of sleep and rest that I require to keep things manageable, I don't think I'd even have the time to blog about it. If anything, I tend to be embarrassed and frustrated by the illness, and therefore don't advertise it to anyone.

[RealityTVRN]

I don't think she spends much time on medical forums. If she spent much time on a lupus forum, for example, she would be better at what she does. I think she "researches" her medical conditions via "House". She seems to be obsessed with that show.

I've wondered about a Disney scam as well...are there message boards/groups out there who discuss ways to get their sick/dying children to Disney for a reduced rate?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah and it's offensive when people either make up those illnesses or project them on their kids. Someone up thread mentioned a family member who fakes that their child has autism. As someone who really does have a child with autism it's just yeah makes me roll my eyes. Don't know why anyone would wish autism on their child. Any attention that I get from it is not desirable nor does it make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Edited for riffles

Munchausens by proxy:all the attention of faking illnesses, with none of the actually having to fake being ill...

I dont know how people who fake illnesses and disabilities in their kid actually manage to do it. How do you get a child to fake being disabled, theyre not exactly the best actors in the world.

And yeah, I imagine fakery can be really offensive to people who genuinely have the condition they are faking or are caring for someone who does. Its not fun for them, because generally, disabilities and illnesses are not fun things to have, and nobody really wants one. I dont even think any of these scammers want to really be sick or have a disabled child. I cant see PM blowing out the candles on her birthday cake and wishing that she comes down with a rare disease, or getting pregnant and crossing her fingers that this one is born with a medical condition that can give her attention.

[RealityTVRN]

Just my two cents, here. I think FMG, CFS, & LRS are all real disorders, but I think they are horrible umbrella terms for "we don't really know, so we'll make it a very wide spectrum". Many medical professionals seem to think there is a psychiatric component to these classes of disorders. In fact, the new DSM (psych bible) has been revised to include them. It will be interesting to see what that change does for diagnosis. I hope it narrows it. People with these disorders need help, not just a name for what they have, and it can't possibly be that we treat them all the same way.

I think Possum seems to favor cardiac stuff, which is interesting, because I think that has to be the hardest scam to pull off well. Heart surgery techniques change all the time. So much so that after not working for 2 years in an acute cardiac setting(but still critical care), I was flabbergasted at what was current. I don't believe she is a hypochondriac, because I don't think she believes she has any of these diseases. She's an attention seeking, selfish bitch.

[Kellbells]

WTF?

Wait, that doesn't quite express it:

WTF?

How can people be so obnoxious?

I also have a hard time with the other end of the spectrum -- the "disabled people are sooooo bravely overcoming everything all the time, let's worship them as symbolic so we don't really have to see them as whole people" (and the Hollywood version -- "the disabled person is just a plot device to help Our Hero learn A Valuable Lesson").

I have some mild physical issues chronically, have had some serious acute pain and substantial injuries or major surgeries from which it took a while to recover. More to the point, I have known and loved people who had more severe chronic stuff going on. Mostly, what I've heard them express, and see them deal with, and what I've dealt with when having more severe problems, is the huge nuisance, pain-in-the-ass of it all.

It's dealing with multiple meds, lack of wheelchair access, waitstaff and clerks who magically don't seem to see the person, figuring out how to do things that are so easy for the rest of us, planning the use of energy (spoons!), changing plans due to worse pain or lack of control than expected, etc.

It's not An Inspiration For Others, any more than it is a happy vacation.

It is that person's life.

I agree with both pieces of this. As someone who lives with rheumatoid arthritis (and is able to work full time with modifications), it pisses me off when people see me struggle and suggest 'just get your doctor to write you out, it'd be fun to have the time off.' Um no. Having to take time off because you're in pain would never be like a vacation! On the flip side, I'm also hypersensitive to people helping me do something I am perfectly capable of doing myself just because they know I have a disease. It embarrasses me. All I want is to be normal. I would wager that most people who struggle with a disability or disease want that. That being said, I do realize that some patients don't feel this way and milk it.

Back to RR/PM, I have had an RA specific blog for years and am pretty well connected with other RA bloggers as well as SLE bloggers. You better believe I am watching to see if a new SLE blogger pops up with a tip jar! Sadly, a year or so ago, a lot of juvenile arthritis blogs went private because a well known JIA blogger was exposed as a fraud. Definitely not pointing it out to say RR/PM was involved (I think it was someone in FL), but just to note that people are sick and twisted. And it pisses me off. (End of rant, I feel better now.)

[Oddeverything]

I don't think she spends much time on medical forums. If she spent much time on a lupus forum, for example, she would be better at what she does. I think she "researches" her medical conditions via "House". She seems to be obsessed with that show.

I've wondered about a Disney scam as well...are there message boards/groups out there who discuss ways to get their sick/dying children to Disney for a reduced rate?

I have wondered about that, too. The Disney connection is very important to her. She's incorporated it into so many aspects of her life. Though I'm cutting back on how much I comment here, I am still trying to read so if anyone finds anything Disney related that seems odd, let me know.

Just to show how nuts all this is, I ran some searches to see if there were dating profiles. A search on "37 female bakersfield okcupid" brought this up: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/disneylandmom?cf=profile

Couldn't find anything on match.com or eharmony but I also am likely being shut out by paywalls.

So yeah, if anyone smells anything Disney-related, holler. I'm sort of buried in all sorting stuff out.

[RealityTVRN]

RA would be a great scam, too. Far better than SLE. I'd watch for her there, too.

In fact, in her Amazon wishlist, she requested wrist supporters.

[okayobee]

That okcupid profile not only has some of her tells (once you know them you can't unsee them) it also has her name, interests and location. The pic looks like the woman on FB before she hid her pics. If that suddenly comes down then we know for sure she's reading here.

General question --- how is she making a living? She spends way too much time online to have a real job, she's divorced and the ex has the kids. If the info I found on his job is correct he's not rich. I wonder if she has faked an illness well enough to go on disability.

[mockingbird]

I have some really amazing friends, all from an online forum, whom I've met in person. All kinds of personalities represented, including the know-it-all and the complainer, etc. They would probably consider me "capable", and never worry about me. I recently complained on FB about being lonely; and I got an amazing outpouring of "what's happening?!?" because I never, ever complain. I just don't like the attention, and prefer to work things out for myself. All of them were surprised when I showed up online with a neck brace on--spinal fusion surgery, that they knew about but I never described it.

A huge lot of things happen to me that I never mention. People would be shocked if I told them everything. The most central reason I don't complain is because I see how tired and dismissive people are to our group's resident complainer. I would dearly love to share some of my heartaches with the group, but I couldn't bear to be dismissed after I shared my heart. I also don't want to be outdone, or one-upped. I just want my share, not ALL of the attention. When I complained about being lonely, I was really really feeling it, and it took about 3 comments on the subject before it felt too hot in here. People love me; I wasn't feeling it; now I do. People who want ALL of the attention really make it hard for people who just want their share.

I know this is from a few pages ago (and I have only skimmed the last few pages) but I really liked this post, because it really encompassed my own attitudes as well. I have a long medical history, and some chronic problems as a result of that, and (as 99% of this isn't something you could tell from looking at me) I've struggled at times with how open I want to be. In the end, I'm just naturally a private and introverted person, and I don't like having tons of attention on me, but at times I have also felt frustrated by "attention hog" type people... like friends in middle school who complained very loudly to everyone about having to get a shot or something. This perfectly captures my current attitude which I've found hard to really describe to certain friends/family in the past. (I think I have a good balance... I let people know about my limitations when needed, and most people who know me hear me talk at some point about my general "medical problems" but my close friends know more details. I will volunteer condition-specific information to people I don't know as well when I think it would be helpful.)

I've experienced the same attitude as Curious too. It's very... maddening. I think I've told this story on here before awhile ago, but I (unexpectedly) missed two weeks of school during my last year of high school. I had recently changed some medication dosages and (we think) my medications interacted. When I came back one of my good friends told me she was jealous because I missed school. I think I said... uh, I was sick in the PICU and she came back with "Yeah but my mom would never let me skip two weeks." #1 the friendship was immediately over, #2 I think I just stood there in shock, and #3 I couldn't even be that insulted for too long, I just ended up thinking it was hilarious because WHO would say that and WHY?! She had a lot of problems - her mom was really manipulative and she would come over to my house and spend time with my mom more than me - so she just needed attention and stability, so I kind-of understand where it came from, although that doesn't excuse how insulting a comment like that is to the person who's actually sick (/disabled in Curious's case). That hospital stay happened to be the least fun-and-games hospital stay I've had (usually I use humor to cope with things but it really wasn't funny at all... she would have not wanted to be me if I'd told her any details!) which made it worse.

I totally agree about the "inspirational" stereotype as well. I hate it. I'm just a normal person, you know? My undergraduate thesis was a postcolonial view on that stereotype in kids'/teen books with characters with leukemia. Another anecdote: Around middle-school age I had surgery on my feet and had to use a wheelchair because I had a cast on each of my legs. One of my teachers was going to have back surgery and she kept me after school one day and talked to me for around 15 minutes about how she was just going to think about me to keep perspective before/after the surgery because I was just so inspirational. I was pretty creeped out, didn't want some older woman meditating on me for months after I was in her class :? Even a positive stereotype can be objectifying.

But before we say it's only scammers who do the trying-to-get-attention-for-being-sick deal, I know at least one person in real life who uses his real medical history to his advantage... to try to get girls :roll: He drives me nuts too. (On the other hand, I have a new-ish friend who also has a chronic disease, and we became close really fast because there is so much we just innately understand about each other from having that shared experience. I think my other friends think it's really weird that our diseases/hospital stays/medications/etc are our favorite subject to talk about, but we're both just really excited that someone else "gets it" :lol: )

[Coconut Flan]

Yep, there is PM again. I love all her talk on there of outdoor adventure. That doesn't read like anyone with lupus that I've ever known.

[Mama Mia]

I have wondered about that, too. The Disney connection is very important to her. She's incorporated it into so many aspects of her life. Though I'm cutting back on how much I comment here, I am still trying to read so if anyone finds anything Disney related that seems odd, let me know.

Just to show how nuts all this is, I ran some searches to see if there were dating profiles. A search on "37 female bakersfield okcupid" brought this up: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/disneylandmom?cf=profile

Couldn't find anything on match.com or eharmony but I also am likely being shut out by paywalls.

So yeah, if anyone smells anything Disney-related, holler. I'm sort of buried in all sorting stuff out.

How on earth does her okcupid profile show she's nuts??? She's fairly recently single, she says her kids moved to Chicago, she states all the basic demographic info that we have all seen on her PossumMomma blog. Nowhere have I seen her deny that she is PossumMomma. She has 4 kids and lives easy driving distance to Disneyland. So where is the Weird part ?? :roll: This is exactly the sort of thing that shows this whole thing has gone off the deep end.

[julie paradox]

I just want to say this before anyone else does...

"The 49 Characters of Ruth"

[Amelie]

That okcupid profile not only has some of her tells (once you know them you can't unsee them) it also has her name, interests and location. The pic looks like the woman on FB before she hid her pics. If that suddenly comes down then we know for sure she's reading here.

General question --- how is she making a living? She spends way too much time online to have a real job, she's divorced and the ex has the kids. If the info I found on his job is correct he's not rich. I wonder if she has faked an illness well enough to go on disability.

When I saw her pinterest I was surprised to see a board about classroom ideas. She pinned stuff that would be for elementary kids. On the cupid site she talks about wanting to teach underserved kids. So altruistic.

[Mustang Sally]

How on earth does her okcupid profile show she's nuts??? She's fairly recently single, she says her kids moved to Chicago, she states all the basic demographic info that we have all seen on her PossumMomma blog. Nowhere have I seen her deny that she is PossumMomma. She has 4 kids and lives easy driving distance to Disneyland. So where is the Weird part ?? :roll: This is exactly the sort of thing that shows this whole thing has gone off the deep end.

I'm not exactly following you on how this investigation "has gone off the deep end." (I think perhaps Odds was referring to how deep her interest in Disney is? That it's her screen name on a dating site?)

I do however think the hand-slapping of people doing the investigation, who have actually been pretty careful, is getting a bit tiresome.

"Ruth" took money from people here. She lied to people on this board for years and had them worrying over her and offering resources and help. I think Odds has posted pretty damning circumstantial evidence to tie "Ruth" to PM...so your claim that this research has gone off the deep end rings a little over-the-top to me.

[mausi]

I have wondered about that, too. The Disney connection is very important to her. She's incorporated it into so many aspects of her life. Though I'm cutting back on how much I comment here, I am still trying to read so if anyone finds anything Disney related that seems odd, let me know.

Just to show how nuts all this is, I ran some searches to see if there were dating profiles. A search on "37 female bakersfield okcupid" brought this up: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/disneylandmom?cf=profile

Couldn't find anything on match.com or eharmony but I also am likely being shut out by paywalls.

So yeah, if anyone smells anything Disney-related, holler. I'm sort of buried in all sorting stuff out.

Wait a minute. She's only 38??!? Those fake illnesses have aged her... :?

(edited to correct bad English)

[Jen0925]

I have wondered about that, too. The Disney connection is very important to her. She's incorporated it into so many aspects of her life. Though I'm cutting back on how much I comment here, I am still trying to read so if anyone finds anything Disney related that seems odd, let me know.

Just to show how nuts all this is, I ran some searches to see if there were dating profiles. A search on "37 female bakersfield okcupid" brought this up: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/disneylandmom?cf=profile

Couldn't find anything on match.com or eharmony but I also am likely being shut out by paywalls.

So yeah, if anyone smells anything Disney-related, holler. I'm sort of buried in all sorting stuff out.

Wow! The Disney component is super odd. This whole story is crazy. Love your truth about Ruth site btw!!!

[spookyginger]

RA would be a great scam, too. Far better than SLE. I'd watch for her there, too.

In fact, in her Amazon wishlist, she requested wrist supporters.

Unfortunately it'd be easy to fake. I've had RA for 24 years, but since I don't have any joint deformities people tend to be skeptical. The good day/bad day spectrum is pretty broad, too. With new biologic drugs it's entirely possible to avoid joint deformities and replacements, but on the other hand still feel like shit on a biscuit on a regular basis.

[Jen0925]

I'm not exactly following you on how this investigation "has gone off the deep end." (I think perhaps Odds was referring to how deep her interest in Disney is? That it's her screen name on a dating site?)

I do however think the hand-slapping of people doing the investigation, who have actually been pretty careful, is getting a bit tiresome.

"Ruth" took money from people here. She lied to people on this board for years and had them worrying over her and offering resources and help. I think Odds has posted pretty damning circumstantial evidence to tie "Ruth" to PM...so your claim that this research has gone off the deep end rings a little over-the-top to me.

I don't really see how it's gone off the deep end either but do think its normal to be on a dating website if you're single.

[Mustang Sally]

I agree that having a dating profile is normal - but I don't think that's what Odds was saying was "nuts." Her statement may have been referring only to the recurring Disney theme, or to the level of detail she has found online. I don't think she was literally saying that PM is "nuts" to have an online dating profile. That would make anyone on a dating site "nuts," which...would be a dumb thing to say.