The Truth About Ruth - Part 3

[nokidsmom]

Fibromyalgia is another one that people use as a catch all. It's a real illness but those who like exaggerate their symptoms for sympathy often pick Fibro because the symptoms are similar to other autoimmune disorders and easy to fake to people who don't much about it. It's a fave of the hypochondriacs. (I probably just gave RR her next scam illness!)

The thing that jumps out at me is those of us who actually live with these autoimmune struggles _live_ with them. Meaning, it's our day to day life. We're not out and about on the interwebs complaining and looking for attention (mostly). If anything, in our daily lives we'd like less attention. I go online for entertainment and to forget my struggles. I might go on a specific medical board and ask a question but I'm not going to do the same on a celebrity gossip site. That's the big difference between someone with a medical issue and one who is faking it. Those who fake it and love the attention think those who have it for real love the attention and they try to mimic us. In my experience that's not true. Having personality disordered people in my life with a penchant for hypochondria has given me a lot of insight into their twisted thinking (jealousy). I think RR/PM falls into this same camp. She has just taken it to the web.

If you follow some of the other names associated with RR you will find claims of lupus, stroke, heart surgery, and chemo/cancer. All of which she seems to bounce back from rather quickly. None of them seem real if you know anything about those conditions.

Exactly this. In reading about PM after finding out her here (didn't know of her before) I wondered why was she talking about her medical issues on a celebrity gossip board? That jumped as very fakey to me. It would make a lot more sense to go to a medical board dealing with the issue as someone who has done this.

I have a family member who is a screaming hypochondriac with a lot of vague medical issues (though there have been some that are real which really muddies the waters as far as taking that person seriously but that's another story) and sure enough, one of them is fibro. Also IBS. Fortunately, she's not computer literate so she hasn't taken it to the internet but if she were, she would be posting everywhere.

[m_mdon]

It was said by the janitor in the episode where House had no team and was making him brainstorm a case with him.

I always remember House saying "It's never cancer", and then it would always be something else, then again, I haven't watched House in years, so I could be totally wrong.

[church_of_dog]

Both Lupus and MS are real diseases. Neither of them are "catch all" diagnoses when nothing else is found. Sometimes these sort of autoimmune diseases announce themselves with a very textbook set of signs, symptoms, abnormal lab and radiology tests. Frequently, however, they beging insidiously. Sometimes a person has a positive ANA test (blood test that points toward a Lupus diagnosis) and some troubling symptoms, but has normal kidney function and no clear physical signs. Many physicians consider these patients to have lupus and others hold off and just watch them closely. Some people never progress. Those people may carry the diagnosis of lupus without having severe manifestation and often have the diagnosis withdrawn. MS is progressive. There are very characteristic lesions seen on MRI of the nervous system (spine and brain). Sometimes people have very suggestive symptoms and signs (Hyperreflexia, extreme weakness, muscle spasms, fatiguability) with normal MRI scans. There are also some blood tests and spinal fluid indicators. These people are considered high risk for MS and should be monitored periodically. Most physicians will not make a presumptive diagnosis based on signs and symptoms without some confirmatory testing. In both cases, we do advise patients that they potientially have an autoimmune process and that they need to honor their bodies with a good balance of rest and exercise. They need to stay hydrated, take care with medications and to be immunized against the flu every year and to keep any other immunizations needed up to date.

Oh, yes, I didn't mean to imply I didn't think they were real diseases, I know they are for sure! I think I was just wrong about lupus, and thanks for correcting me. As for MS, what I remember my friend saying is that she predicted that in ten years or so there wouldn't be anything "called MS" because she predicted that each of the various "kinds" of MS will by then have been given a unique name/diagnosis, whereas now there are several manifestations/presentations that are all labelled MS. Incidentally, I think her condition is the static kind -- I also know at least one person with the progressive form of MS. And I have once or twice had situations myself that could be early symptoms, so I'm kinda on the alert for if other things appear/develop. I'm glad to know there are such specific indicators, so that I can, if/when needed, get tested even just if to ease my mind. Thanks again for the information.

[louisa05]

I have a family member who is a screaming hypochondriac with a lot of vague medical issues (though there have been some that are real which really muddies the waters as far as taking that person seriously but that's another story) and sure enough, one of them is fibro. Also IBS. Fortunately, she's not computer literate so she hasn't taken it to the internet but if she were, she would be posting everywhere.

We have two of those. They try to out do each other. One self-diagnosed with fibromyalgia, so the other did. But having the same thing was just not good enough, so the second recently announced that her fibro was misdiagnosed and she really has MS. Fortunately, her doctor expects that her MS will remain asymptomatic. :roll:

I can laugh at that. What I can't laugh at is the two of them trying to out do each other with made up maladies for their children including autism, cerebral palsy, heart defects, and more.

[nokidsmom]

We have two of those. They try to out do each other. One self-diagnosed with fibromyalgia, so the other did. But having the same thing was just not good enough, so the second recently announced that her fibro was misdiagnosed and she really has MS. Fortunately, her doctor expects that her MS will remain asymptomatic. :roll:

I can laugh at that. What I can't laugh at is the two of them trying to out do each other with made up maladies for their children including autism, cerebral palsy, heart defects, and more.

I have a now former family member who did the asymptomatic MS thing. Funny that it suddenly cropped up during her divorce and she played that card for all it was worth in the divorce case (she contested big time and it dragged on for years). We seriously doubt that she was ever diagnosed. Divorce was finalized quickly after medical information was requested as proof. 28 years later, she has no manifestations of MS either.

Hypochondriacs outdoing each other is one thing but to do that with one's kids..... :shock: I agree that's not funny and I would think could have some ramifications for the kids. Should be interesting when those kids grow up.

[Shirley MacLaine]

Wow, dark. And sad. I've never known anyone to do the whole fake illness thing AFAIK and I feel really glad about that.

[okayobee]

Exactly this. In reading about PM after finding out her here (didn't know of her before) I wondered why was she talking about her medical issues on a celebrity gossip board? That jumped as very fakey to me. It would make a lot more sense to go to a medical board dealing with the issue as someone who has done this.

Your response made me think of something - she likely has gone to medical specific boards and forums to do research but likely didn't try to pass herself of as having X because a board full of people with X will know she was faking it. So chances are she does some research then tries her hand at pretending to have X on the various boards, forums and blogs she frequents.

Also, it's usually a 'friend' that announces her BIG ailment - surgery, stroke, major lupus set back, etc. She rarely announces these herself. What she does do is announce BIG ailments about her kids.

One thing I have found in my research is her 'characters' overlap. She doesn't go from one to the next sequentially, there's co-mingling and an overlap period. So while she has been RR she has been someone else. Probably several someone elses. She's likely on some medical and religious forums doing research currently.

She's a hot mess though. Leaves crumbs everywhere. Personality disorder folks have a hard time keeping track of their lies and stories and they get messy. She'll be found again. She's not as smart or savvy as she thinks she is.

[fifinella]

AANNNNDDD now I'm having a small-world-mind-is-blown moment. I've been following these threads all week, but this morning was the first time I had clicked through to the ABC article linked above. The author is one of my in-laws. I'll have to email her with the story of Ruth.

ETA: I'll ask her if they found out who it was.

She reports that they did track down the scammer in the case of the writing group and someone from the writing forum actually spoke to her--she lived with her parents in Australia. Definitely no connection to our current inquiry.

[nokidsmom]

Your response made me think of something - she likely has gone to medical specific boards and forums to do research but likely didn't try to pass herself of as having X because a board full of people with X will know she was faking it. So chances are she does some research then tries her hand at pretending to have X on the various boards, forums and blogs she frequents.

Also, it's usually a 'friend' that announces her BIG ailment - surgery, stroke, major lupus set back, etc. She rarely announces these herself. What she does do is announce BIG ailments about her kids.

One thing I have found in my research is her 'characters' overlap. She doesn't go from one to the next sequentially, there's co-mingling and an overlap period. So while she has been RR she has been someone else. Probably several someone elses. She's likely on some medical and religious forums doing research currently.

She's a hot mess though. Leaves crumbs everywhere. Personality disorder folks have a hard time keeping track of their lies and stories and they get messy. She'll be found again. She's not as smart or savvy as she thinks she is.

That's what I think as well. She is most likely getting information from researching medical boards and related websites but also sees that she doesn't have enough "real" experience to pass it off. Posting the woes on a non-related board, she's going to have better luck convincing people. Also setting up these second party announcements probably is extra "insurance" on the chance that there's someone on the forum she's posting does have real world knowledge as a medical professional or patient. If questioned, the friend (for herself) or herself (for her kids), can serve as a cover. It's just a thought and would make sense for covering things but who knows. She obviously has made some slip ups which suggests to me that it's likely there's a bunch of personas out there and she's making mistakes juggling them all.

Edited for better clarity

[Pathfinder]

Has anyone noticed the Disney theme in some of Ruth's likes? There is Disney stuff on Pinterest, in her Amazon reviews, and in her Amazon wishlist. She also requested donations to send Rachel to Disney. Makes me wonder what that is all about (?) Could be some connection or maybe she just really likes Disney.... A LOT!

[gardenvarietycitizen]

That is a feature of the scammers and the fame seekers and you're right, it's odd. Maybe it's the small details or the nuances that they can't glean from an online article or most books. They can't get the personalized part right because they don't have the real experience. As that author said, it comes across as a caricature. PM probably saw some pictures of a lupus rash and made the leap to it felt like a sunburn because that's the closest experience that she has.

I suspect that's part of it.

Probably another part of it is that often in the quest to outdo all others or have various "cool, dark, mysterious" conditions, they try to play at having more than one issue at the same time. Problem is, often the things they pick have conflicting symptoms, so then they have to explain around how they manage to have both conditions. The answer they come up with is well, they're such special snowflakes that they have atypical cases of each, etc.

Add to THAT, occasionally they slip up and get caught out doing something they shouldn't be able to do. PM's photos at the pool, someone who supposedly has whatever learning disabilities wins an award for something you wouldn't suspect, whatever it is. They're not quite to the point of a full outing requiring a flounce, so they try to string it along by again explaining how well, they're extra special snowflakes who have special versions of all the stuff.

But probably the most basic (for a lot of smaller time people who aren't even to the level of scamming anyone, they're just enjoying being attention grabbers and "look at me! I'm so oppressed! So I can be an ass and you can't call me out!" on the internet) thing is wanting the cool feature of disease A but also this neat thing from disease B, and needing to be "extreme" so they cafeteria shop symptoms or try to have the "worst" case but somehow still be alive at their age which wouldn't be expected, or WHATEVER, and they slip up.

[polabear]

She reports that they did track down the scammer in the case of the writing group and someone from the writing forum actually spoke to her--she lived with her parents in Australia. Definitely no connection to our current inquiry.

I have a feeling that the Kate plus 8 folks started assuming that all scammers were PM kind of like we are now.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Exactly this. In reading about PM after finding out her here (didn't know of her before) I wondered why was she talking about her medical issues on a celebrity gossip board? That jumped as very fakey to me. It would make a lot more sense to go to a medical board dealing with the issue as someone who has done this.

I have a family member who is a screaming hypochondriac with a lot of vague medical issues (though there have been some that are real which really muddies the waters as far as taking that person seriously but that's another story) and sure enough, one of them is fibro. Also IBS. Fortunately, she's not computer literate so she hasn't taken it to the internet but if she were, she would be posting everywhere.

If Ruth/PM went on a medical forum to talk about her health issues, she wouldnt be a special snowflake and get attention as everyone else is sick too.

On a regular forum, she will likely be the only person with her character's illness of the week, so she will get tons of attention for being the forum member with an illness/disability.

[Mama Mia]

I have a feeling that the Kate plus 8 folks started assuming that all scammers were PM kind of like we are now.

Yeah, the more I'm reading the more concerned I am that all of this started with some weird Gosselin/anti-Gosselin drama, and someone who is, presumably, an actual scammer Pennmommy, who is possummomma s relative. And I assume it is the Pennmommy who is the person who was posting on celebrity boards.

I've been reading over possummomma s blog and the comments on her blog and there are actually not that many references to her lupus - I did a search and got less than a dozen posts where lupus is even mentioned. And when she talks about it she also mentions being on several medications that increase sun sensitivity, and that she has other health issues.

I'm feeling bad because I've been very drawn into the intrigue, but, to me, the more I read the less sure I am...and the more concerned about the linking anyone and everyone to this person.

[Talitha Cumi]

Her daughter did exactly what Vyckie is making a small fortune doing- publicized the abuse she suffered. No one made her do that. It made Vyckie look bad, so Vyckie went apeshit, called her daughter a liar and "proved" it with an anecdote from when the girl was 3. FJ had nothing to do with that, either.

Vyckie has to be the innocent blameless victim. At all times. No matter what.

I thought what caused the break was Vyckie's claim that Angel's fiance was "grooming" the next two daughters for sexual abuse. ISTR that there was a lot of fighting between them about that. Does anyone else remember this?

[polabear]

Yeah, the more I'm reading the more concerned I am that all of this started with some weird Gosselin/anti-Gosselin drama, and someone who is, presumably, an actual scammer Pennmommy, who is possummomma s relative. And I assume it is the Pennmommy who is the person who was posting on celebrity boards.

I've been reading over possummomma s blog and the comments on her blog and there are actually not that many references to her lupus - I did a search and got less than a dozen posts where lupus is even mentioned. And when she talks about it she also mentions being on several medications that increase sun sensitivity, and that she has other health issues.

I'm feeling bad because I've been very drawn into the intrigue, but, to me, the more I read the less sure I am...and the more concerned about the linking anyone and everyone to this person.

I'm really confident that possummomma is razing ruth. Im also confident that pennmommy and jhawkgirl1 are possummomma. Once it gets beyond pulling in random people is where it is iffy.

[Lainey]

I can laugh at that. What I can't laugh at is the two of them trying to out do each other with made up maladies for their children including autism, cerebral palsy, heart defects, and more.

I don't know anything about the other diseases you mentioned, so I'm just going to focus on one: cerebral palsy? I really don't understand how you can "fake" that. My ex had a really mild form of cerebral palsy, and you could still tell by the way he walked, etc.

[OkToBeTakei]

Yeah, the more I'm reading the more concerned I am that all of this started with some weird Gosselin/anti-Gosselin drama, and someone who is, presumably, an actual scammer Pennmommy, who is possummomma s relative. And I assume it is the Pennmommy who is the person who was posting on celebrity boards.

I've been reading over possummomma s blog and the comments on her blog and there are actually not that many references to her lupus - I did a search and got less than a dozen posts where lupus is even mentioned. And when she talks about it she also mentions being on several medications that increase sun sensitivity, and that she has other health issues.

I'm feeling bad because I've been very drawn into the intrigue, but, to me, the more I read the less sure I am...and the more concerned about the linking anyone and everyone to this person.

This is exactly how I feel. I think when it remained on FJ I was salaciously entertained. But as more and more bandied around random ideas and names and then somebody 'assured' that the real life relatives of the person were contacted it became too much for me. Everybody I recognise has a line of what is acceptable to do or not, in real life or on the internet, both are the same for me. If I was told some circumstantial evidence that a friend was stealing from her workplace say, I would not be phoning her husband based on that. If I heard some random stranger was doing the same I most certainly would not. I see no difference even though I do not personally know these people discussed here. It is has crossed my line.

[nokidsmom]

Problem is, often the things they pick have conflicting symptoms, so then they have to explain around how they manage to have both conditions. The answer they come up with is well, they're such special snowflakes that they have atypical cases of each, etc.

Add to THAT, occasionally they slip up and get caught out doing something they shouldn't be able to do.

This part got me wondering. Perhaps some degree of hypochrondria plays in something like this as well? Because the screaming hypochrondriac family member I noted further upthread does exactly this. Claim symptoms that are conflicting, or should should not be doing certain activities that are being done anyway. And also the atypical conditions that no one else has. Taking medications that should be contraindicated by other conditions. Not to mention that this particular person should be dead by now if all these illnesses were true.

It's being done for attention, not scamming, and not online, but the "need" for it is all the same.

[nokidsmom]

This is exactly how I feel. I think when it remained on FJ I was salaciously entertained. But as more and more bandied around random ideas and names and then somebody 'assured' that the real life relatives of the person were contacted it became too much for me. Everybody I recognise has a line of what is acceptable to do or not, in real life or on the internet, both are the same for me. If I was told some circumstantial evidence that a friend was stealing from her workplace say, I would not be phoning her husband based on that. If I heard some random stranger was doing the same I most certainly would not. I see no difference even though I do not personally know these people discussed here. It is has crossed my line.

I for one have certainly been intrigued by the threads discussing this. However, I don't want to see relatives being contacted. While the evidence linking the real life individual to RR is certainly compelling, it is also circumstancial. Even if is all true (and we don't know 100% if it is) we don't know these people (relatives), what their lives are, what they may know already or not know. If it's true, chances are they know on some level, even if they aren't aware of all the activity and all the personas. And in that case it's pretty likely there's some turmoil caused over it. But if not true, it would cause needless turmoil for them. Rather not take that chance.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

In reading about PM after finding out her here (didn't know of her before) I wondered why was she talking about her medical issues on a celebrity gossip board? That jumped as very fakey to me. It would make a lot more sense to go to a medical board dealing with the issue as someone who has done this.

Of course if they were to do the "normal thing" and post to medical forums, it wouldn't get them the sweet, sweet attention they crave since all the other members would have the same disease too (and have it for real). Every interaction would just remind the poser that she is, in fact, a poser.

In addition to that, people who actually have the disease are likely to detect the fake and call her out.

I'm sure it's a TERRIBLE dilemma for them, oh, where can I post? :think:

[Curious]

Yeah, the more I'm reading the more concerned I am that all of this started with some weird Gosselin/anti-Gosselin drama, and someone who is, presumably, an actual scammer Pennmommy, who is possummomma s relative. And I assume it is the Pennmommy who is the person who was posting on celebrity boards.

I've been reading over possummomma s blog and the comments on her blog and there are actually not that many references to her lupus - I did a search and got less than a dozen posts where lupus is even mentioned. And when she talks about it she also mentions being on several medications that increase sun sensitivity, and that she has other health issues.

I'm feeling bad because I've been very drawn into the intrigue, but, to me, the more I read the less sure I am...and the more concerned about the linking anyone and everyone to this person.

You have to remember there was a great deal of scrubbing that went on during the Penn Mommy thing. Not just on one site, but multiple sites. I'm pretty confident that we have the story straight re: Penn Mommy = Possummomma = RR and a few assorted others, but beyond that I have no knowledge and little desire to find out. What we know is bad enough. That's not to say if others want to spend time researching it, they should not. It's just not something *I* want to spend time doing.

I think that we (the admins here at FJ) have fulfilled our due diligence where RR is concerned and anything beyond that is not up to us. What other folks wish to do is their choice and I wish them well. If they post and I happen to know the answer through my own research I will certainly provide them the info and source.

[Closed Womb]

:? Was I really that bad? I aim to please. :mrgreen:

Seriously, though, I couldn't explain it, either. Other than to say that Wok Chop thinks it's her, has done research into it that I haven't seen but I believe is real, and I trust her judgment. I didn't even know who Possummomma was, either. I'm a little surprised that "Ruth" turned out to be this serial scammer, myself.

ETA: Also there was a gut feeling on my part that Wok Chop and Samantha were onto something.

I agree. You really just never know. It sounds like she's freaking everywhere! :shock:

Naw, it wasn't too bad. Just noticeable, because most people were focused on the fact that "Ruth" was a lying liar who lies and you were actually insisting that it was someone specific. A possum, even! But, I'm glad you kept at it, because if we didn't have the IP proof (or, really solid, convincing, circumstantial evidence) of who it was, it would be more of "she is, she isn't" game.

[Curious]

This part got me wondering. Perhaps some degree of hypochrondria plays in something like this as well? Because the screaming hypochrondriac family member I noted further upthread does exactly this. Claim symptoms that are conflicting, or should should not be doing certain activities that are being done anyway. And also the atypical conditions that no one else has. Taking medications that should be contraindicated by other conditions. Not to mention that this particular person should be dead by now if all these illnesses were true.

It's being done for attention, not scamming, and not online, but the "need" for it is all the same.

I think that some people do this because they *think* it's all fun and rainbows to be disabled or to have xxx disease. It's no secret that I'm disabled and I have had people tell me "oh you're so lucky, you don't have to go to work every day" or "I wish I could be on vacation every day!" Yeah cause chronic pain and not being able to walk more than 20 feet is TOTALLY like a vacation! They don't think about all the bad stuff that comes with conditions, they just think of the "fun" (in their mind), the extra sick days, the extra time off, the people willing to help you etc.

It used to really bother me, when I was very first disabled because I loved my job and I WANTED to be working. I hated having to sit around doing nothing all the time, I was quite miserable. I didn't feel well enough to do anything physically, but mentally I was dying on the vine from watching tv all the time and nothing else. It was horrible and then having people tell me they wanted to trade places. I would just burst into tears and be all NO! It's awful! I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Which confused a lot of people, I think.

They don't understand that it's not all the "perks" because they don't really have the bad stuff to deal with, which is why people that really have chronic conditions are like yeah...no.

[thoughtful]

I think that some people do this because they *think* it's all fun and rainbows to be disabled or to have xxx disease. It's no secret that I'm disabled and I have had people tell me "oh you're so lucky, you don't have to go to work every day" or "I wish I could be on vacation every day!"

WTF?

Wait, that doesn't quite express it:

WTF?

How can people be so obnoxious?

I also have a hard time with the other end of the spectrum -- the "disabled people are sooooo bravely overcoming everything all the time, let's worship them as symbolic so we don't really have to see them as whole people" (and the Hollywood version -- "the disabled person is just a plot device to help Our Hero learn A Valuable Lesson").

I have some mild physical issues chronically, have had some serious acute pain and substantial injuries or major surgeries from which it took a while to recover. More to the point, I have known and loved people who had more severe chronic stuff going on. Mostly, what I've heard them express, and see them deal with, and what I've dealt with when having more severe problems, is the huge nuisance, pain-in-the-ass of it all.

It's dealing with multiple meds, lack of wheelchair access, waitstaff and clerks who magically don't seem to see the person, figuring out how to do things that are so easy for the rest of us, planning the use of energy (spoons!), changing plans due to worse pain or lack of control than expected, etc.

It's not An Inspiration For Others, any more than it is a happy vacation.

It is that person's life.