Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect: Now with Rats!

[August]

Well like I said, I've only been reading this blog (obsessively now) for 3 days so I'm still pretty new to the story. I guess I'm responding to feeling like things were really pretty dire when the whole family was together in New Zealand last year, but in the more recent blog posts like from Tasmania, it seems like Lauren is more hands-on with the girls and at least talks about their welfare. So I got the sense that she was overall healthier now that David isn't around. That may be just wishful thinking on my part. I did look at a couple of those videos with the girls handling the circular saw blades... disturbing. I haven't seen the chinatown post yet. I don't have a big problem with preschoolers getting their own breakfasts and lunches if the selection is healthy... assuming... and I don't know that this is the case or not.... that someone is providing a hot and tasty and filling dinner. I've missed any mention of the kids swimming unsupervised. And education... definitely neglectful, but I think I'd say that about most if not all unschoolers.

There was a post in Tasmania about their diet. And no, not balanced. Not even slightly.

(meals on the road, dec 23 2012)

[already hungover]

There was a post in Tasmania about their diet. And no, not balanced. Not even slightly.

(meals on the road, dec 23 2012)

Don't the girls basically just scrounge around and beg for food if they see others eating?

[wild little fox]

Also: Children are dumb. I've had a two year old jump off the top of monkey bars. I've seen kids set off fireworks inside the house. Toddlers will eat dog food, and paper, and rat poison if you let them. Fostering an independent spirit is one thing, but it's the adult's job to make sure kids don't hurt themselves, or cause massive property damage. But especially the not hurting themselves.

They also need to learn that actions have consequences. There are things that should not be done. For instance it is not okay to fix a pool gate so that it cannot be locked so any child at any time could go to the pool. And it is extremely poor, negligent parenting to praise your children for fixing said gate. Then she posted it as a brag on her blog, saying how clever of her free range children.

[Koala]

Not to mention their little teeth. I cringe every time I think of her posting about never making them brush. I take better care of the stray cats on my street than she does of her 4 remaining children. And I will say it- the whole never brushing their hair and letting them go about barefoot in filthy clothes does bother me. I am all for letting kids get dirty, but a well taken care of child does not have the look of absolute neglect when playing outdoors and getting dirty. Letting them chop one another's hair to bits while she carefully maintains those ridiculous looking dreadlocks just makes me sick. Carefully coordinating each of her all red fashion nightmares while letting her daughters wear mismatched rags...it's just unspeakable. Most mothers? They'd just as soon go without as to have their children go without - the children are taken care of first and mom takes what's leftover. You don't let your babies go without. And not even allowing them to call her "mom". A child should have someone to call "mom". I'll never forget that crazy bat claiming that she knew they weren't walking in righteousness if they called her "mommy". Ughh....did I mention she makes me ill???

[August]

From memory they have a ton of fruit on the bus, plus junk food, plus those gluten vegan sausages. Only none for Brioni because they avoid gluten.

Meals on the road

23 December 12

Meals on the road are nowhere near as complicated as they were when we lived in a house. Then, I used my creative energy to cook and bake. Now I have other adventures to pursue. We eat very simply — mostly raw — with a lot of fresh fruit and veg.

We shop frequently for fresh produce and try to find locally-owned shops at which to do our shopping.

Breakfast is basically the same as in a house. We keep cereals and muesli on offer, and I sometimes cook up porridge for us all. We use calcium-enriched soy drink rather than milk, and Aisha and I drink chai during the day.

Calista enjoys porridge in the morning sunshine. I encourage the girls to eat outside the bus whenever possible.

We are a family of vegetarians. Cutting out meat not only saves money, it means that food preparation and hygiene issues are much simpler. We regularly buy protein products like tofu, Sanitarium’s vegie sausages, vegie patties, protein schnitzels and pieces. We cook these on our fry-pan or on electric barbeques.

When they're available, we like to use the electric barbecues in public parks to cook our vegie sausages or patties.

Fresh produce is a staple. We have two fruit bowls that are often brimming with good things to eat. Our favourites are apples, bananas, capsicums, tomatoes, grapes and whatever other fruit is in season.

Where road-side vendors have set up stalls with fresh produce, we stop and stock up. Summertime is great with all the fresh fruit that is available!

We eat quite a few sandwiches. The girls enjoy cheese, jam or honey on wholemeal bread, and Brioni and I prefer sliced tomatoes on corn Cruskits. I try to stay away from gluten foods like bread, and Brioni has picked up the habit from me.

Brioni and Calista enjoy their lunch in the shade of the tree.

Brioni and I are the only two vegans, so the other girls regularly eat vegetarian cheese and yoghurt. We buy our cheese already sliced so the girls can help themselves to a piece when they’re hungry. Brioni likes soy yoghurt but doesn’t like the taste of soy cheese.

I cook meals when I’m hungry for them or when they’re requested. We regularly eat rice and pasta meals, and I snack on dolmades. The girls prefer most of their vegies raw — carrots, cauliflower, beans, cherry tomatoes and capsicums.

We carry pots and fry-pan for cooking. These are non-stick, square-shaped SmartSpace cookware, which are easy to clean and store.

It’s not all “growing foodâ€. We keep snacks on hand — soy crisps, baked biscuits, potato chips and popcorn. If we visit a big supermarket, we often end up with potato salad and flavoured milk drinks for the girls. I’m still addicted to V energy drinks — a survival measure I acquired in June, and we freeze juice into ice blocks for hot days.

Occasionally we indulge in take-away. I find it quite expensive, and there aren’t many healthy take-away meals that are vegetarian or vegan. Sometimes we buy vegetarian burgers, hot chips, baked potatoes or potato scallops. This is happening less and less often as we settle into our travelling routine of buying and eating good food from grocery stores.

I’m happy with the way we eat on demand. Grazing throughout the day means we’re only taking in the energy we need rather than stuffing ourselves with food because it’s time for a meal. The girls are thriving on their food — they’re happy and healthy, and this system is working for us.

[already hungover]

She cooks meals "when they're requested." I imagine that requesting a hot meal is indicative of the girls' failing to walk in righteousness.

[lilith]

She cooks meals "when they're requested." I imagine that requesting a hot meal is indicative of the girls' failing to walk in righteousness.

Yes, that concerns me.

Grazing, especially on fresh fruit and veg is great, but the best way to ensure that growing kids, especially vegetarian and vegan kids, get the energy and nutrients they need is to supplement that grazing with a balanced cooked meal every day. Kids really shouldn't have to request dinner as a special thing - my kids ask every evening what I'm making for dinner, I can't imagine them having to ask if I will make dinner at all, and it's sad that Lauren's girls can't rely on the simple routine of dinner every night.

David did the bulk of the cooking when he was with them, and it seems that Lauren hasn't taken on that responsibility in his absence.

I wonder how long it will be before Aisha starts showing her remarkable sparkling maturity and righteous capability that children oppressed by routine and education aren't capable of by "choosing" to cook for herself and her sisters nightly.

[niagarahauls]

This week we have both my husband and I have taken off work and we have had a bit of a "staycation" and as a result things have been a bit more lax at the house with bedtimes and mealtimes and our usual routines. My two sons are older then Lauren's girls at 9 and 7 but it's been a bit surprising to me how they have responded to this.

Kids do better with boundaries, regular proper meals, bedtimes and parental attention.

Notice in the description of their eating habit how tailored it was to her needs? If she's hungry she makes a meal, she's happy with the way they eat, she finds takeout to be expensive. I'm starting to suspect Lauren has a personality disorder the more I read her blog.

[already hungover]

Kids really shouldn't have to request dinner as a special thing - my kids ask every evening what I'm making for dinner, I can't imagine them having to ask if I will make dinner at all, and it's sad that Lauren's girls can't rely on the simple routine of dinner every night.

I grew up in a food insecure household and even now it freaks me out if I don't know what I'm going to make for dinner. I feel lucky to have escaped some of the other effects of not having enough food, and I worry for Lauren's girls.

[Kailash]

Also: Children are dumb. I've had a two year old jump off the top of monkey bars. I've seen kids set off fireworks inside the house. Toddlers will eat dog food, and paper, and rat poison if you let them. Fostering an independent spirit is one thing, but it's the adult's job to make sure kids don't hurt themselves, or cause massive property damage. But especially the not hurting themselves.

I disagree that children are dumb. They are ignorant, meaning that they don't know the dangers as adults should.

[DaffyDill]

I wonder how long it will be before Aisha starts showing her remarkable sparkling maturity and righteous capability that children oppressed by routine and education aren't capable of by "choosing" to cook for herself and her sisters nightly.

If Aisha does begin cooking, and sadly, I too can see that happening, I am quite sure the Sparkling One will take advantage of it by eating the meals. Even though she can't be assed providing the girls with a good, nutritious meal every night herself, you can bet she will take what's on offer if someone else cooks - even if that someone is her young daughter. :angry-banghead:

[pastaswife]

I don't care about dirty clothes, or unbrushed hair but I'm really concerned about the lack of toothbrushing. I brushed my teeth maybe once a week until I was 13/14 when I became stringent about brushing. I'm 23 and have had three teeth removed and various teeth filled. These kids are going to lose their ability to eat solid food by the time they're thirty and they never got a chance to avoid that happening.

[LadyBlue]

Great info on drowning, for anyone who is interested. http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... n_the.html

Also this video Lifeguard Rescue: Can you spot the drowning kid? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8nmv4vi0tY

Lauren is an idiot. My then 2 year old nearly drowned in a swimming pool. He was safely standing on a ledge/seat with me in arms reach. I glanced away to check the time and he was under the water. Luckily my 6 year old was also standing there and grabbed him just as I looked back and got him completely out of the water. It can happen in an instant, even in a "safe" situation, which her kids are certainly never in.

[ohnomoe]

I grew up in a food insecure household and even now it freaks me out if I don't know what I'm going to make for dinner. I feel lucky to have escaped some of the other effects of not having enough food, and I worry for Lauren's girls.

Yes my mother grew up in a house where her mother's approach to food was to just nibble on things throughout the day and have tiny meals with her kids. Dinner would be a slice of processed meat and a slice of tomato on a cracker.... So many stories of mum deliberately trying to stay at friends houses so she could eat proper meals. Now my mum hoards food to the point that the majority of fresh food in the house is rotten before it gets eaten.

Lauren is a puzzle to me. On one hand the whole 'sparkling adventures' thing seems to be set up to give the girls some kind of special 'authentic' childhood that she never had, but on the other hand she doesn't seem to care that much that a lot of the experiences she allows for them could cut their lives short. She also doesn't seem to be thinking ahead about what those girls are going to do when they are adults. I suppose I wouldn't feel so bitter about them living off welfare if they were travelling around helping the communities they stay in but they seems to just take, take, take from everywhere with worrying too much about giving back. Hint: spending welfare money at the local farms market and claiming that is 'giving back' is a cop out.

I felt a glimmer of hope when Lauren posted about discovering families in the suburbs who have similar values to her. I thought, maybe just maybe she would settle her family back down in a suburb but as I read on her tone became condescending...

They’re constantly assessing themselves, questioning their motives and — somehow — feeling trapped in a life that is not what they originally aspired to

Followed by reaffirming how brilliant her life is in comparison. I can't tell if she can't see the mess they have become or if she does and is trying to convince herself otherwise.

[CheeseDeprived]

I'm starting to suspect Lauren has a personality disorder the more I read her blog.

Yeah, I think a couple of threads ago we diagnosed her with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. ;) Something like that seems pretty fitting.

Speaking of meals, neglect, personal hygiene etc. - remember also how she said the girls would request baths straight away when they were visiting people's homes, how they were really excited about baths (and other "comforts" of a regular house), and so on? To me that speaks volumes. They're not just kids who love water - they have plenty of opportunities to be in and around water anyway. They're kids who must feel unclean and uncomfortable.

(FTR, I don't think kids must have baths or showers every single day... mine don't... but as per usual, Lauren seems to know no middle ground!)

[Stephanie66]

I suppose they have no running water in their van? Do they bring in water from the lake for personal hygiene? How DO they bathe? Just swim in the lake with soap?

I am beyond furious with this woman. This really has to end. It is not good for children to be homeless, voluntarily or not. This might be fun for a summer (I actually know a family, when I was young, whose dad was in grad school and they lived in a tent in a campground over the summer to save money. They had food, running water in the shelters, etc. It was an adventure because the parents MADE IT an adventure. When school started again, they were back in a house, the kids were back in school, all was back to normal. The son talked about it as an adventure, even as an adult.) BUT this is abuse and neglect. She feeds them when she feels like it? She mostly just lets them eat whatever, whenever? How are they paying for food? She doesn't work, so do they have something similar to food stamps in AU? If they do, it still isn't enough to feed them well. Not fresh fruit every day, fresh veggies, etc. The kids are hungry, for sure, if she doesn't make an effort to cook raw food, boil down beans, etc.

And yes, children do not know enough to get protein from a vegan or vegetarian diet. Eating cheese or tofu or soy sporadically is not going to do it. Free-ranging children is not going to give them the nutrition they need. No, they won't starve to death, but they will get tooth decay easier, or break a bone, or their hair will fall out.

I really dislike this woman. She has been blessed with four beautiful children, and they have lost their father and brother in one fell swoop. They need her MORE, not less. They need a stable home with a school and friends and consistency every day. Get up, eat breakfast together at the table, go to school, talk to friends at lunch, learn with teachers, play, come home , do homework, eat dinner together at the table, bathe, brush teeth, play with siblings, go to bed. That much structure is needed. Every day. Kids NEED structure, especially after trauma.

They also need, desperately, a neutral person to talk to about their dad and brother. Not someone who will say the event is neutral. A neutral PERSON. They need to grieve for Elijah and their daddy, as he may never come home, either.

But it sounds like Child Protection is not going to find them or be able to do anything, and Lauren lacks the common sense (or is just lazy and selfish) to raise these beautiful little girls. I just wish she would give them to someone who was willing to and end this ridiculousness.

Sorry if I am completely out of line. I am just so beyond frustrated and my heart is breaking.

[Patsy]

Vegans should take B12 supplements. (There is a tiny amount in some mushrooms, but seriously, seriously, supplement. Even some omnis get B12 deficiency because their guts don't absorb enough from the B12-filled food they eat. The difference is that if you're vegan and not supplementing, your gut isn't even encountering the B12 in the first place before it can get to malabsorption.) It's not something you need every day or every week, because your body keeps long-term stores of it, but if you go too long without any intake and without any stores to fall back on, you can get serious, permanent neurological damage. Let's hope B's store from her infancy will keep her until someone tells her, because God knows her mother isn't about to start giving her pills or getting her injections even if she hears about it.

[Ariel]

From memory they have a ton of fruit on the bus, plus junk food, plus those gluten vegan sausages. Only none for Brioni because they avoid gluten.

...

Meals on the road

23 December 12

Calista enjoys porridge in the morning sunshine. I encourage the girls to eat outside the bus whenever possible.

We are a family of vegetarians. Cutting out meat not only saves money, it means that food preparation and hygiene issues are much simpler. We regularly buy protein products like tofu, Sanitarium’s vegie sausages, vegie patties, protein schnitzels and pieces. We cook these on our fry-pan or on electric barbeques.

When they're available, we like to use the electric barbecues in public parks to cook our vegie sausages or patties.

Fresh produce is a staple. We have two fruit bowls that are often brimming with good things to eat. Our favourites are apples, bananas, capsicums, tomatoes, grapes and whatever other fruit is in season.

Maybe this is because I live in a large city, but unless you're living mostly on beans and rice, being a vegetarian is not drastically cheaper than being an omnivore. Especially if you're eating fake meat products like veggie burgers and sausages. The price on that stuff (where I live) is way more than cheap cuts of meat.

Also, they have electric grills in public parks in Australia? That's awesome!

[Blahblah]

Yes, we do have electric grills in some, not all, parks. We call them barbecues. They are generally coin operated hotplates. Great for family picnics. The basic version involves lugging along the Esky (cooler) full of snags (sausages), a loaf of bread and a bottle of sauce (tomato ketchup). A soft drink for the kids and a few beers for the grown ups (not Fosters. No Aussie drinks that shit) and you're done. See how I translated for you overseas people? You're welcome :)

Oh, but thorough cleaning of the hot plate is highly recommended due to icky things like possums or rats chewing off the grease from previous food, or unsavory teenage drunks peeing on there for fun in the middle of the night.

[Aurora rising]

I try to stay away from gluten foods like bread,

Apart from everything else (this woman is batshit-crazy!) - why is she avoiding gluten if she has no allergie? In Germany it was / is some kind of fashion, but if one tolerates gluten it´s not necessary. And gluten-free things are very expensive here.

[August]

Apart from everything else (this woman is batshit-crazy!) - why is she avoiding gluten if she has no allergie? In Germany it was / is some kind of fashion, but if one tolerates gluten it´s not necessary. And gluten-free things are very expensive here.

Not to mention highly processed and full of additives.

Stephanie66, where the hell do you get the idea that welfare's not enough to feed them well? They're living on fresh fruit and vegetables, vegan fake meat and junk food, about the most expensive diet you can get, plus buying things like hundred dollar slack lines, trips to Bali and $2000 food processors. We calculated her weekly income a few threads back, and it's definitely enough to support a family with. I fully support generous no-fault welfare, but it shits me that she has enough to buy five ipads, a trip to Bali and a thermomix.

Cheese, was it Narcissistic Personality Disorder or histrionic? I remember diagnosing several acquaitances on the basis if that thread.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms

By PSYCH CENTRAL STAFF

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life or to anyone they meet. While this pattern of behavior may be appropriate for a king in 16th Century England, it is generally considered inappropriate for most ordinary people today.

People with narcissistic personality disorder often display snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes. For example, an individual with this disorder may complain about a clumsy waiter’s “rudeness†or “stupidity†or conclude a medical evaluation with a condescending evaluation of the physician.

In laypeople terms, someone with this disorder may be described simply as a “narcissist†or as someone with “narcissism.†Both of these terms generally refer to someone with narcissistic personality disorder.

Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:

- Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

- Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

- Believes that he or she is “special†and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

- Requires excessive admiration

- Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

- Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

- Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

- Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Histrionic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of attention seeking behavior and extreme emotionality. Someone with histrionic personality disorder wants to be the center of attention in any group of people, and feel uncomfortable when they are not. While often lively, interesting and sometimes dramatic, they have difficulty when people aren’t focused exclusively on them. People with this disorder may be perceived as being shallow, and may engage in sexually seductive or provocating behavior to draw attention to themselves.

Individuals with Histrionic Personality Disorder may have difficulty achieving emotional intimacy in romantic or sexual relationships. Without being aware of it, they often act out a role (e.g., “victim†or “princessâ€) in their relationships to others. They may seek to control their partner through emotional manipulation or seductiveness on one level, whereas displaying a marked dependency on them at another level.

Individuals with this disorder often have impaired relationships with same-sex friends because their sexually provocative interpersonal style may seem a threat to their friends’ relationships. These individuals may also alienate friends with demands for constant attention. They often become depressed and upset when they are not the center of attention.

People with histrionic personality disorder may crave novelty, stimulation, and excitement and have a tendency to become bored with their usual routine. These individuals are often intolerant of, or frustrated by, situations that involve delayed gratification, and their actions are often directed at obtaining immediate satisfaction. Although they often initiate a job or project with great enthusiasm, their interest may lag quickly.

Longer-term relationships may be neglected to make way for the excitement of new relationships.

Symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder

A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention

Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior

Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions

Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attentionto themself

Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail

Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion

Is highly suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances

Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are

[August]

I found the duscussion, we did decide on NPD

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=14804&p=481210&hilit=personality+disorder+lauren#p481210

[CheeseDeprived]

Cheese, was it Narcissistic Personality Disorder or histrionic? I remember diagnosing several acquaitances on the basis if that thread.

I remember we talked about NPD, but based on the description you posted, histrionic also sounds like a good or even better fit! Can she be both? ;)

Ah, snap!

[ohnomoe]

How are they paying for food? She doesn't work, so do they have something similar to food stamps in AU? If they do, it still isn't enough to feed them well. Not fresh fruit every day, fresh veggies, etc. The kids are hungry, for sure, if she doesn't make an effort to cook raw food, boil down beans, etc.

Australia has quite a generous welfare scheme for parents of young children, especially single parents. It is a system that really does help a lot of kids and their families out but I don't think it is meant to be used as Lauren is using it.

The sad thing is that they actually own a house but just choose not to live there. According to Lauren the people they have living in their house don't pay rent because that is how they are giving back. In reality if they did charge rent it could no longer be considered the family home, would be classified as an investment, and severely decrease the amount of money they are entitled to claim.

Reading the toothbrushing post was a particularly sparkling moment in my blog reading.

And that’s the toothbrush truth for our household. It only happens a couple times a week if we’re lucky. So if the girls end up with cavities, we’ll have to take full responsibility.

No Lauren! If they girls end up with cavities (which they will, it isn't really an if) they will have to spend thousands of extra dollars on dental work as adults or live with visibly awful and painful dental problems for the rest of their adult lives, because you couldn't be bothered teaching them the value of oral hygiene. They are too young to understand the consequences of not taking care of their teeth now... :angry-banghead:

[Nothing2CHere]

OK, I know the conversation on this thread has turned to things like water safety and vegan diets, but I have to snark on this from her July 8th post where they were invited to that Mundo Perdido property. Because she thinks her blog is some sort of travel brochure or documentary writing (I mean, really, she claims she's doing this for Aisha? This is the most impersonal personal blog I've ever read), she posted several photos of the property, complete with captions. I'd post the photo in question, but I'm not sure I know how to post it without hotlinking.

In between the photo captioned, "This cow isn't doing a very good job of keeping the grass down!" and, "Small gardens at the rear look into back paddocks where kangaroos graze in the early morning." is this thought-provoking gem: "Eternity" is carved on a rock and suspended from a rusting metal tripod.

Seriously, that's the best she could come up? Create a caption that is nothing more than a description of exactly what I'm looking at in the photo? I mean, it's a lovely image for what it is, I can see why she included it, but if that's the best caption you can come up with, just post the damn photo caption-less.