Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect: Now with Rats!

[Cerdwin]

So tempted to tell her K Mart has cheap ukuleles. Actually, for little kids and a hot van, I think she's mad to consider an expensive instrument.

[lilith]

She's rearranging a "friend's" tea cupboard as an outlet for her OCD tendencies.

Maybe I'm just not open to the gifts of the universe, but a guest fucking with my kitchen would make me furious.

[Artemis]

She's rearranging a "friend's" tea cupboard as an outlet for her OCD tendencies.

Maybe I'm just not open to the gifts of the universe, but a guest fucking with my kitchen would make me furious.

Quite.

'Raise your hands and step slowly away from the cupboard, lady!'

[miffy]

If she want to be really authentic she will go to Arnhem land & find a termite infested tree to make her own. However I don't think she would do so well in the NT, let alone the overland drive by herself to get there.

[miffy]

Quite.

'Raise your hands and step slowly away from the cupboard, lady!'

:lol: Real friends just pack the dishwasher & wipe the bench.

[lilith]

If she want to be really authentic she will go to Arnhem land & find a termite infested tree to make her own. However I don't think she would do so well in the NT, let alone the overland drive by herself to get there.

My sister (who is similar to Lauren in many ways) took a trip to Arnhem Land to learn traditional weaving techniques from a group of indigenous women. In some ways seeing the real disadvantage that exists there was an eye opener for her. I was terrified of her driving there with her kids though, as was my mother, who was terrified enough to pay for extensive vehicle repairs before she left.

[lilith]

I so hope she's not letting her kids watch Game of Thrones, but I bet she is. There are parts of that show that I need to turn away from, I can't imagine a pre schooler who has lost her baby brother and father being able to watch without becoming very upset.

[Patsy]

Hi Patsy. Can you explain how that works? When/where is it appropriate for which group to play? I have very little knowledge about this but find it fascinating. Thanks.

There were about 200 nations and languages here before white people came. Some played the didge, some (obviously) didn't. I don't really have any opinion, knowledge or right to enforce when it is or isn't inappropriate, I just think it's a bit rich to exclude women from an area of culture because it's not "traditional" for someone to play if it wasn't "traditional" for your ancestors to do so. Of course, some people who don't know all their tribes because their grandparents and parents had their languages and histories taken from them might want to do it as an "Aboriginal" thing, not a, you know, "Warlpiri" thing, and others might want to claim it as a pan-Aboriginal unifying artform. It hasn't got a damn thing to do with me, but the hypocrisy (if you can call it that) of the latter two makes me roll my eyes - so tradition isn't that important, huh? That or "We're all together! Except the women. Fuck them."

[August]

They don't live north, which is where it was played. Nothing fucking authentic about that. I know I've said this before, but it shits me when Aboriginal men outside that one particular area play didge and then go "but women can't". Um, NEITHER CAN YOU, if your ancestors were born around here.

No, not authentic, "authentic". She has dreads, anything she does is "authentic".

I thought the didgeridoo was played in several areas, and only some forbade women?

[tuckerphez]

I so hope she's not letting her kids watch Game of Thrones, but I bet she is. There are parts of that show that I need to turn away from, I can't imagine a pre schooler who has lost her baby brother and father being able to watch without becoming very upset.

You know what Game of Thrones and Star Wars have in common?

CHARACTER DEATH.

And you know what happens when characters die? Their friends, family, loved ones, etc., become sad. And upset, and angry - BECAUSE THAT'S AN "AUTHENTIC" REACTION TO DEATH. NONE OF THIS "NEUTRAL" BULLSHIT.

:angry-banghead:

Seriously though, what's gonna happen when the kids see death in movies and tv shows and wonder why fictional characters get to grieve but they don't have that freedom?

(I really hope they're not watching Game of Thrones though. That show is super inappropriate for children. Especially Lauren's children.)

[MajorMajor]

How do you go from banning Disney to Game of Thrones? I realize she said the girls were watching Star Wars but I can't really imagine her not letting them watch Game of Thrones. What a confusing way to grow up.

[Sister_Wife]

My Mr 5 is mad about Star Wars, but after he started having nightly nightmares, we had to stop him watching.... Maybe it's not authentic parenting, because I'm not allowing him to experience the full spectrum of his dream state, but, whatever.

As for Game of Thrones, my headship deemed that unsuitable even for me. (I get nightmares easily, too)... I am curious about, as everyone is raving about it, but I'm not sure I could handle the violence!

[Cheetah]

I had never followed this blog until this latest thread started. Now I've gone back and read all of the posts from about a month before Elijah was born until now, plus the girls' birth stories. Wow. I had to google David Fisher Beenleigh to see if there was any more info about his state of mind when he killed the baby but couldn't find anything and Lauren doesn't ever say anything specific (e.g., is he diagnosed schizophrenic ? bipolar? was there drug use? ) It's pretty clear that things were going downhill with the family for that last 6-8 months (e.g., parking the van in a bad part of Sydney, lice, the thing about whether to be happy about David pursuing sex outside of their marriage, etc). Now I need to go back even earlier and read more about the period whne they decided to give up suburban life and become hippies.

I have to say I'm not really seeing the neglect so much with the girls. Ok, their hair isn't brushed and they go barefoot a lot of places where that isn't normal. And I'm not at all a fan of unschooling. But within that lifestyle it does seem like Lauren is bonded with her girls and working hard to give them an interesting childhood.

I'm sure there must be a FJ thread back when the baby died... will go back and find it. Does anyone know if David ever did try to explain his mental state at the time? Or whether he's still whacked out?

[lilith]

I had never followed this blog until this latest thread started. Now I've gone back and read all of the posts from about a month before Elijah was born until now, plus the girls' birth stories. Wow. I had to google David Fisher Beenleigh to see if there was any more info about his state of mind when he killed the baby but couldn't find anything and Lauren doesn't ever say anything specific (e.g., is he diagnosed schizophrenic ? bipolar? was there drug use? ) It's pretty clear that things were going downhill with the family for that last 6-8 months (e.g., parking the van in a bad part of Sydney, lice, the thing about whether to be happy about David pursuing sex outside of their marriage, etc). Now I need to go back even earlier and read more about the period whne they decided to give up suburban life and become hippies.

I have to say I'm not really seeing the neglect so much with the girls. Ok, their hair isn't brushed and they go barefoot a lot of places where that isn't normal. And I'm not at all a fan of unschooling. But within that lifestyle it does seem like Lauren is bonded with her girls and working hard to give them an interesting childhood.

I'm sure there must be a FJ thread back when the baby died... will go back and find it. Does anyone know if David ever did try to explain his mental state at the time? Or whether he's still whacked out?

David is still being held in a secure mental health facility. His case has been adjourned many times - I speculate that this has been so that David can remain in this facility and out of the mainstream prison population.

There was pot found when he was arrested. There has been speculation about him taking psychedelics and stimulants, but no proof.

Neither the courts or Lauren have mentioned an actual diagnosis of his mental health issues, but he must have ongoing issues to remain in psychiatric care.

[Koala]

I have to say I'm not really seeing the neglect so much with the girls.

Then you haven't read far enough.

[lilith]

Then you haven't read far enough.

You honestly don't see Lauren leaving her children with strangers she's just met, allowing preschoolers to be responsible for articulating and filling their own nutritional needs, losing toddlers in Chinatown during a New Years parade and NOT ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR THEM, not providing education or grief counselling, to be neglectful?

I really couldn't care less if their hair isn't done and they are barefoot and naked in the bush, although those things are issues whilst in towns/cities where lack of shoes can be dangerous and people will respond badly to children who look unkempt and neglected, but Lauren is failing to provide for those girls in so many other areas.

You are also the only person I've ever seen comment on Lauren being well attached and bonded to the girls. I'm interested in what makes you see that?

[August]

I had never followed this blog until this latest thread started. Now I've gone back and read all of the posts from about a month before Elijah was born until now, plus the girls' birth stories. Wow. I had to google David Fisher Beenleigh to see if there was any more info about his state of mind when he killed the baby but couldn't find anything and Lauren doesn't ever say anything specific (e.g., is he diagnosed schizophrenic ? bipolar? was there drug use? ) It's pretty clear that things were going downhill with the family for that last 6-8 months (e.g., parking the van in a bad part of Sydney, lice, the thing about whether to be happy about David pursuing sex outside of their marriage, etc). Now I need to go back even earlier and read more about the period whne they decided to give up suburban life and become hippies.

I have to say I'm not really seeing the neglect so much with the girls. Ok, their hair isn't brushed and they go barefoot a lot of places where that isn't normal. And I'm not at all a fan of unschooling. But within that lifestyle it does seem like Lauren is bonded with her girls and working hard to give them an interesting childhood.

I'm sure there must be a FJ thread back when the baby died... will go back and find it. Does anyone know if David ever did try to explain his mental state at the time? Or whether he's still whacked out?

It's not about the hair, it's not about being dirty. It's about unsupervised swimming, letting them climb ladders to the roof of their house when the parents are already on the roof, educational neglect, giving them rides on the forks of a forklift, driving around with them playing loose and unsupervised in the back of the truck, letting them play with circular saw blades, leaving them with people they just met, riding four wheelers barefoot and helmetless. Among other things.

You can see most of these things on youtube videos and on posts from NZ. They're linked in previous threads on here, I'll search and seewhat I find.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=UD6h-uu_ ... ure=relmfu

you see the cab of the truck in this one

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MOu_bDgBOWc

[MajorMajor]

I had never followed this blog until this latest thread started. Now I've gone back and read all of the posts from about a month before Elijah was born until now, plus the girls' birth stories. Wow. I had to google David Fisher Beenleigh to see if there was any more info about his state of mind when he killed the baby but couldn't find anything and Lauren doesn't ever say anything specific (e.g., is he diagnosed schizophrenic ? bipolar? was there drug use? ) It's pretty clear that things were going downhill with the family for that last 6-8 months (e.g., parking the van in a bad part of Sydney, lice, the thing about whether to be happy about David pursuing sex outside of their marriage, etc). Now I need to go back even earlier and read more about the period whne they decided to give up suburban life and become hippies.

I have to say I'm not really seeing the neglect so much with the girls. Ok, their hair isn't brushed and they go barefoot a lot of places where that isn't normal. And I'm not at all a fan of unschooling. But within that lifestyle it does seem like Lauren is bonded with her girls and working hard to give them an interesting childhood.

I'm sure there must be a FJ thread back when the baby died... will go back and find it. Does anyone know if David ever did try to explain his mental state at the time? Or whether he's still whacked out?

I started reading Lauren's blog right after Elijah was born (I found her on Offbeat Mama). I tried to read her blog with an open mind. I'm into natural birth and crunchy parenting and all that but I just couldn't get past deliberately giving birth somewhere with absolutely no way to get to emergency medical care if needed whilst surrounded by virtual strangers.

As others have said, I encourage you to dig a little deeper. It's quite frightening really.

[wild little fox]

What gets me about Lauren is that she doesn't get it at all what she is doing. She truly believes she is the best mom ever.

[Stephanie66]

One thing I don't understand about all of this. Since David murdered his child, child protective services is certainly observing the rest of the family, right? Why is this still going on?

[lilith]

One thing I don't understand about all of this. Since David murdered his child, child protective services is certainly observing the rest of the family, right? Why is this still going on?

They were - Lauren mentioned not being allowed to be alone with the children in the immediate aftermath of Elijah's death, and she had to make safety modifications to her new van and take the kids to grief counselling to fulfil their requirements.

But Departments of Community Services are state agencies in Australia, and Lauren flitting between states makes it almost impossible to supervise her. DOCS were contacted about the family soon after Elijah's birth, but the family couldn't be located so no action was taken. And that was in NSW, and the department she was involved with after Elijah's death was QLD.

I personally suspect that one of the reasons Lauren is staying in WA at the moment is because David is due in court (this week I think) and there will be representatives of QLD Department of Community Services there. If Lauren was present they would ask questions about the well being of the girls and about wether Lauren has followed up with requirements for grief counselling, and would probably put more requirements in place. By staying out of the state Lauren stays outside their jurisdiction.

I have also mentioned before that I feel strongly that Lauren's middle class background and her ability to utter the right shibboleths makes Community Services Departments far less vigilant with her than they would be with mothers from less privileged backgrounds who don't know the right words to say.

[lilith]

I'm quoting myself here, cause I really think this point needs to be read and understood to understand Lauren's dealings with DOCS.

[quote="happy

atheist"]Not to bash your system, when the one in the US is far less than perfect, but it seems to me like the government should pay freeloading parents like Lauren less, and put the money saved into better services for people who really need it.

Our system tends to be quite classist too. The fact that Lauren is middle class and knows all the right words to say makes her far less likely to have action taken to remove the children than a mother in public housing with drug and alcohol issues or an aboriginal mother in a remote community or a recent immigrant family, none of whom know the "right" language to use to placate social workers who tend to be from middle class backgrounds themselves.

I'm not saying action won't be taken, just that Lauren will be given more leeway and the benefit of the doubt than families from less advantaged backgrounds.

A mother from the underclass who doesn't send her kids to school doesn't know to claim that she's unschooling and to spout the philosophies surrounding it, even though her child is probably getting the same level of education as Lauren's. A woman from a remote indigenous community who doesn't prepare meals for her children and leaves them to forage in the home and community won't talk about the importance of self determination and independent choices, even though her kids have the same eating patterns and food insecurity as Lauren's. A recent immigrant with limited English won't know how to demand that her counter cultural choices are respected in the way Lauren does, even though Lauren's children are just as ill equipped for their adult lives in mainstream Australian culture.

[CheeseDeprived]

I personally suspect that one of the reasons Lauren is staying in WA at the moment is because David is due in court (this week I think) and there will be representatives of QLD Department of Community Services there. If Lauren was present they would ask questions about the well being of the girls and about wether Lauren has followed up with requirements for grief counselling, and would probably put more requirements in place. By staying out of the state Lauren stays outside their jurisdiction.

I thought the court appearance was last week, but I did a bit of googling last night and found nothing.

I think you're right on the money re. her staying in WA.

[lilith]

I thought the court appearance was last week, but I did a bit of googling last night and found nothing.

I think you're right on the money re. her staying in WA.

I thought it was last week too, but also couldn't find any mention of it in the media - it's a high profile case, and it's generally mentioned even if it's only adjourned again, so I'm assuming it's listed in the next week or so. I could certainly be wrong.

But it wouldn't surprise me if Lauren stays out of QLD until David is arraigned and either pleads or is tried and sentenced.

[lilith]

Also, with her recent Bali trip and plans on her blog to go to the US in 2015, if she becomes involved with DOCS again its likely that they would require her to keep the girls in Australia. And if she and David are formally separated she won't be allowed to take them out of the country without his explicit permission.