Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect: Now with Rats!

[CheeseDeprived]

Also, with her recent Bali trip and plans on her blog to go to the US in 2015, if she becomes involved with DOCS again its likely that they would require her to keep the girls in Australia. And if she and David are formally separated she won't be allowed to take them out of the country without his explicit permission.

I was thinking that too re. taking them out of the country, although I'm not sure if it still applies if one parent is in jail - I have no idea how it works in a situation like theirs and if he still has any parental rights?

[lilith]

I was thinking that too re. taking them out of the country, although I'm not sure if it still applies if one parent is in jail - I have no idea how it works in a situation like theirs and if he still has any parental rights?

I don't know for sure, but I would assume that he would still have parental rights and responsibilities.

Unless they divorce or Lauren states that they are formally separated I would assume that parental responsibility is shared, and that she is free to travel with the girls etc unless he objects. If he is moving back towards conservative Christianity and she is moving further away from it and possibly taking other lovers, I can see tension building and David objecting to the way his daughters are being raised. If he involved DOCS they would certainly take his wishes into account and try to work with Lauren to come to a compromise.

[uber frau]

If he is an involuntary patient (and I suspect he is) he still has parental rights. However, if he has a history of risky or abusive behaviour towards children, he can have his rights terminated at the advice of two psychiatrists. This is reviewed everytime his status comes up for review or can be reviewed by an independent shrink at anytime if he requests it. Chances are though, it he's sick enough to be a forensic patient (given what he's charged with), he's too sick to be given his parental rights back.

This is coming from a WA perspective but I suspect QLD similar.

[Cheetah]

You honestly don't see Lauren leaving her children with strangers she's just met, allowing preschoolers to be responsible for articulating and filling their own nutritional needs, losing toddlers in Chinatown during a New Years parade and NOT ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR THEM, not providing education or grief counselling, to be neglectful?

I really couldn't care less if their hair isn't done and they are barefoot and naked in the bush, although those things are issues whilst in towns/cities where lack of shoes can be dangerous and people will respond badly to children who look unkempt and neglected, but Lauren is failing to provide for those girls in so many other areas.

You are also the only person I've ever seen comment on Lauren being well attached and bonded to the girls. I'm interested in what makes you see that?

Well like I said, I've only been reading this blog (obsessively now) for 3 days so I'm still pretty new to the story. I guess I'm responding to feeling like things were really pretty dire when the whole family was together in New Zealand last year, but in the more recent blog posts like from Tasmania, it seems like Lauren is more hands-on with the girls and at least talks about their welfare. So I got the sense that she was overall healthier now that David isn't around. That may be just wishful thinking on my part. I did look at a couple of those videos with the girls handling the circular saw blades... disturbing. I haven't seen the chinatown post yet. I don't have a big problem with preschoolers getting their own breakfasts and lunches if the selection is healthy... assuming... and I don't know that this is the case or not.... that someone is providing a hot and tasty and filling dinner. I've missed any mention of the kids swimming unsupervised. And education... definitely neglectful, but I think I'd say that about most if not all unschoolers.

[happy atheist]

Well like I said, I've only been reading this blog (obsessively now) for 3 days so I'm still pretty new to the story. I guess I'm responding to feeling like things were really pretty dire when the whole family was together in New Zealand last year, but in the more recent blog posts like from Tasmania, it seems like Lauren is more hands-on with the girls and at least talks about their welfare. So I got the sense that she was overall healthier now that David isn't around. That may be just wishful thinking on my part. I did look at a couple of those videos with the girls handling the circular saw blades... disturbing. I haven't seen the chinatown post yet. I don't have a big problem with preschoolers getting their own breakfasts and lunches if the selection is healthy... assuming... and I don't know that this is the case or not.... that someone is providing a hot and tasty and filling dinner. I've missed any mention of the kids swimming unsupervised. And education... definitely neglectful, but I think I'd say that about most if not all unschoolers.

Nutrition: One of the kids - Brioni? - has decided that she is a vegan, and is left to make her own food decisions. There is no indication that Lauren makes any effort to ensure that she gets proper nutrition. Brioni is too young to understand all of the ins and outs of veganism. There are also old posts from when David was around about Aisha eating sand, where they basically just say, "yep. She eats sand. See?" and post video of it.

Water: There's a video she posted from the beach. Lauren (with the camera) is wandering around the bus, which is parked out of sight of the water, admiring her crochet flowers or something. Eventually she moseys down to the ocean where a couple of the girls are playing in the water. There are no adults anywhere to be seen. There are also numerous posts with photos of the girls out in the water, climbing on rocks, or on the far side of a creek or river, too far away for Lauren to help if there was a problem.

[ladyaudley]

Yeah, brioni "she loves animals so much she doesn't want to get de-loused, how self-determined!" Is the vegan.

[happy atheist]

Here's the video of the little kids in the ocean unsupervised.

http://www.sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1844

here's one example of unsafe swimming.

With Brioni's bright bodyboard acting as a beacon, it's easy to keep track of Brioni's whereabouts on the far side of the river as she explores the new landscape.

Here's the video of Aisha eating sand.

http://www.sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=743

and here's a pic from a different post

When I asked Aïcha why she was eating the sand, she replied, "I'm hungry!" I wonder if she liked the salty flavour... she didn't mind the grit in her mouth. (Bleeeeh!)

[Blahblah]

And then there's the one where the favourite toy is a sharp pair of scissors.

And the one where the sharp scissors are used to cut each others hair.

And the one where the older child attacks the baby with her fingernails leaving it's face all bloody.

And the one where they are encouraged to approach the back end of hoofed farm animals to pat them.

And the one where they visit a farm and wander around near hoofed animals, through dung, with bare feet.

And, my personal unfavourite, the one where one of the girls vanishes up a mountain with a young man they just met, is missing all night with him, and they don't look for her, or call the police, or even worry because perfect love brings the results you want, don't you know.

[RachelB]

Poor Aisha. I wonder how hungry you have to be before sand starts to seem plausible as food. :(

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, brioni "she loves animals so much she doesn't want to get de-loused, how self-determined!" Is the vegan.

Eww. That is disgusting, yeah, kids are strange sometimes, but this is not something the parent should encourage. I dont care how much the kid loves animals, even bugs, they are not going to keep their head lice.

[wild little fox]

Not to mention letting the girls on a forklift platform, with a concrete floor, none the less. David raised the lift quite high and the girls got off to play- on a VERY high shelf. The shelf, along with the platform of the forklift, were littered with tools, etc. The girls proceeded to pick up circular saw blades and play with them. If I remember correctly the girls were walking back and forth on the shelf and also on and off the platform. There was no railing on the shelf, because it was a shelf, not a play area. The youngest girl was still a baby, so the three older girls were VERY young. They must have been over ten feet up. Concrete floor.... SHUDDER!!!!

[tuckerphez]

I started reading Lauren's blog right after Elijah was born (I found her on Offbeat Mama). I tried to read her blog with an open mind. I'm into natural birth and crunchy parenting and all that but I just couldn't get past deliberately giving birth somewhere with absolutely no way to get to emergency medical care if needed whilst surrounded by virtual strangers.

As others have said, I encourage you to dig a little deeper. It's quite frightening really.

When was Lauren on Offbeat Mama? (Which is Offbeat Families now, anyway.)

Did she write an article? Because I'm scared of her promoting her insanity to an even larger audience.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Here's the video of the little kids in the ocean unsupervised.

http://www.sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1844

here's one example of unsafe swimming.

491.jpg[/attachment]

[standing on my soapbox] As a former lifeguard, and a friend to someone who lost her toddler to drowning, I'd got to make a Public Safety Announcement here.

If a child is 5 or under, the only safe way to be around water is to be within arms' reach at all times, and to keep your eyes on your children AT ALL TIMES whenever they have access to water. Period. No exceptions.

Most people underestimate the danger of water, although you'd think that someone whose son DIED IN THE WATER would have a greater appreciation. It's the second leading cause of accidental death in children, after car accidents.

Undertow and current can be surprisingly strong, and can't always be detected by sight from the shore. If a child goes underwater, it would be impossible to see them from the shore.

When kids or other non-swimmers drown, they do not wave their arms or yell. It is a silent and nearly invisible process, since they slip underneath the water and can't raise themselves enough to attract attention. Merely being in the area isn't enough, because if the child starts to drown, they won't be noticed in time. Children can drown in bathtubs. They can drown in a backyard pool during a pool party, when tons of adults are in the area. If Brioni falls off the board and isn't wearing a lifejacket, or if the board get caught in a current, she's screwed. If the little ones get swept up in an undertow or current, they are screwed. If they hurt themselves on a rock in the water or get feet caught in some seaweed, they are screwed. Objectively speaking, she is doing something dangerous with no awareness of the risk involved.

[MajorMajor]

When was Lauren on Offbeat Mama? (Which is Offbeat Families now, anyway.)

Did she write an article? Because I'm scared of her promoting her insanity to an even larger audience.

She wrote an article called "Freebirthing Elijah" or something like that. I can't remember when it was posted, but it was shortly after Elijah was born. I can't find it in the Offbeat Families archives when I search for it. It may have been removed, but if I remember correctly I found it again right after Elijah's death.

[tropaka]

looking at all this I'm wondering how any Childrens' services agency could let this woman have custody. One of her other children will end up injured or dead through her own stupidity....

[nellautumngirl]

2xx1xy1JD, that is so scary, but thanks for the info. I'll keep it in the back of my head when I'm around children + water.

[KitCatCadillac]

I was witness to a near-drowning several years ago. A little girl went into the deep end and couldn't get out. She was probably within ten feet of at least half a dozen adult. Luckily she was resuscitated and taken to the hospital, but another minute or two and things would have ended very differently. My ex-boyfriend also nearly drowned as a child. For a short period of time he didn't have a pulse. It can happen so easily.

[keen23]

Poor Aisha. I wonder how hungry you have to be before sand starts to seem plausible as food. :(

It's pica. From wikipedia- Pica (/ˈpaɪkə/ PY-kə) is characterized by an appetite for substances largely non-nutritive, such as clay, chalk, dirt, or sand.snipPica has been linked to mental disorders and they often have psychotic comorbidity. Stressors such as maternal deprivation, family issues, parental neglect, pregnancy, poverty, and a disorganized family structure are strongly linked to pica.

[Kailash]

It's pica. From wikipedia- Pica (/ˈpaɪkə/ PY-kə) is characterized by an appetite for substances largely non-nutritive, such as clay, chalk, dirt, or sand.snipPica has been linked to mental disorders and they often have psychotic comorbidity. Stressors such as maternal deprivation, family issues, parental neglect, pregnancy, poverty, and a disorganized family structure are strongly linked to pica.

Holy crap. Poor Aisha. I wouldn't be surprised if at least 4 of those stressors affect her.

[ADoyle90815]

It's pica. From wikipedia- Pica (/ˈpaɪkə/ PY-kə) is characterized by an appetite for substances largely non-nutritive, such as clay, chalk, dirt, or sand.snipPica has been linked to mental disorders and they often have psychotic comorbidity. Stressors such as maternal deprivation, family issues, parental neglect, pregnancy, poverty, and a disorganized family structure are strongly linked to pica.

This. I once spent a summer in college volunteering at an early intervention preschool for students with severe autism and other developmental disabilities, and one student in particular would run onto the playground to eat sand if not carefully watched. I think in that case, the factor was that the individual had autism and was still nonverbal.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I was witness to a near-drowning several years ago. A little girl went into the deep end and couldn't get out. She was probably within ten feet of at least half a dozen adult. Luckily she was resuscitated and taken to the hospital, but another minute or two and things would have ended very differently. My ex-boyfriend also nearly drowned as a child. For a short period of time he didn't have a pulse. It can happen so easily.

I want to scare people.

Freakomics talks about how backyard swimming pools kill far more children in the US than guns in the home do. I want parents to look at a swimming pool or natural body of water the same way that they would look at a loaded gun - unsupervised access needs to be prevented in a foolproof way.

Most of the parents who loose children to drowning are not neglectful. Often, they simply don't realize just how easy it is for a child to get into the backyard, or to wander toward a lake or river, or to fall in from a boat or dock. They don't realize that if you aren't looking directly at the child when this happens, you will not see or hear anything to alert you that something is wrong. They don't realize that it takes only minutes for there to be permanent injury or death. They don't realize that while swimming lessons are great, they do not make a child under 5 "water safe", because many young children wouldn't be able to fall into water suddenly, regain their composure, swim strongly to the side/shore without getting tired, and be able to pull themselves up and out of the water without assistance. With proper swimming lessons, kids are constantly supervised, and we were able to pull a child up within seconds of them going under water.

[KitCatCadillac]

I want to scare people.

Freakomics talks about how backyard swimming pools kill far more children in the US than guns in the home do. I want parents to look at a swimming pool or natural body of water the same way that they would look at a loaded gun - unsupervised access needs to be prevented in a foolproof way.

Most of the parents who loose children to drowning are not neglectful. Often, they simply don't realize just how easy it is for a child to get into the backyard, or to wander toward a lake or river, or to fall in from a boat or dock. They don't realize that if you aren't looking directly at the child when this happens, you will not see or hear anything to alert you that something is wrong. They don't realize that it takes only minutes for there to be permanent injury or death. They don't realize that while swimming lessons are great, they do not make a child under 5 "water safe", because many young children wouldn't be able to fall into water suddenly, regain their composure, swim strongly to the side/shore without getting tired, and be able to pull themselves up and out of the water without assistance. With proper swimming lessons, kids are constantly supervised, and we were able to pull a child up within seconds of them going under water.

I feel the same way. Luckily in both these cases the kids were fished out from quiet backyard pools quickly by supervising adults and emergency services were available. There were no variables such as river current, or visibility in the water, or road access for emergency vehicles. Adults were only feet away, not tens of yards, and these situations were still close calls!

[Cheetah]

I've read a lot more of the blog (mostly 2010) over the past couple of days (and also the FJ thread from last year) and I see a lot more of the neglect now. At some point I want to go back and read the more recent stuff again.... it seems (to me, at the moment, but I could change my mind) like she's being better with the girls lately.

Some of the things that stood out from the 2010 posts: letting the girls play on a Queensland beach unsupervised ('they know not to go in the water'); playing in all sorts of dirty creeks; playing in the overflow of a dam (and yes the water level was low at the time but still...); climbing barefoot on mangrove trees; and like 2xx1xy1JD mentioned above, letting nonswimmers go in deep water with just a boogie board and no lifejacket or adult close by...

I'm dying to know more about their family backgrounds. I've seen the basics... David has a couple of brothers, his parents live in Grafton, they seem to be separated (?), he had a falling out with his youngest brother at a visit in between the 2 New Zealand trips (David and Lauren stayed there one ngith and then were asked to leave), and they grew up in a very conservative religion. Lauren has 2 sisters, her parents are divorced, her dad is gay and lives with a partner in Sydney, her mom lives in Perth, one of the sisters is or was in Hong Kong and is still quite religious, the other one is in NSW I think and has a number of kids, and they all lived in Ivory Coast when Lauren was growing up... the parents were some sort of missionaries and she was sent to boarding school at age 6 (!). I wonder whether the 2 sets of parents are all still fundamentalists/evangelicals (doesn't really seem like it), or whether they feel much responsibility for how whacked out David and Lauren ended up.

[KitCatCadillac]

Also: Children are dumb. I've had a two year old jump off the top of monkey bars. I've seen kids set off fireworks inside the house. Toddlers will eat dog food, and paper, and rat poison if you let them. Fostering an independent spirit is one thing, but it's the adult's job to make sure kids don't hurt themselves, or cause massive property damage. But especially the not hurting themselves.

[August]

Poor Aisha. I wonder how hungry you have to be before sand starts to seem plausible as food. :(

Kids with sensory issues eat weird shit. However, pica can be a sign of nutritional deficiency which would make me have my kids iron checked and have a think about their diet.

There are a couple of posts about her Dad. She shunned him for being gay until about 18 months ago when it turned out a gay father added to her street cred/ was really "authentic"