Hazardous Journey in Zambia

[uber frau]

Is idea of 'scientific research ' is along the same vein as 'scientific whaling'. Except that you can't even eat the polar bear once you've killed it. I think Doug (is a tool)wants to be Ernest Hemingway the second. I wish he'd fight in a real war and get charged by a real bull like the real Hemingway though.

[snarkyjan]

Is idea of 'scientific research ' is along the same vein as 'scientific whaling'. Except that you can't even eat the polar bear once you've killed it. I think Doug (is a tool)wants to be Ernest Hemingway the second. I wish he'd fight in a real war and get charged by a real bull like the real Hemingway though.

And as a plus, we could all root for the bull.

[Anny Nym]

A question about all those "hazardous journies": Do they REALLY go to the places featured on their website or is this just wishful thinking in the sense of " we would totally go there if we just could scam enough money through donations" ?

I had a look about their Zambia -brochure and it gave absolutely no detail about date, route, costs etc.

Just the spitten-out-and chewed-on-again bs about manhood and ... domination (which is a more than poorly choice of words regrding a country who is independent only since the 1960s ! :oops: )

btw, what´s up with that cheesy file-showing pic? cardbord binder, black and white photos and big-ass paper clips... Scully and Mulder going fundiefreaks much? Any wanted badass-effect is ruined though when have taken that pic in a restaurant with a guy in the background who seems to have just opened his fly button to let his after-stuffing-belly breath.

[miffy]

According to wiki, the 2010 numbers show nearly 90% Christian. In fact, the 1996 constitution identifies it as a Christian nation :doh: That's right, Zambia is actually more Christian than the United States. But people like Dougie and Shrader would never, ever go to a place where they might really be threatened for practicing their religion or prosyletizing. It's a lot more comfortable to claim persecution without actually having to experience it.

I think its because they are the wrong kind of Christian. Fundies seem to think that unless you are a fundamental or evangelical Baptist you are about as Christian as a Muslim. They hate 'papists', but practice Jewish cultural traditions. :?

[uber frau]

Baptists are the wrong kind of Christian too for plenty of Reformed /Calvinist fundies. Free will=relying on choice=grace by works (because exercising a choice is a works)=not relying on grace=not Christian. So if you don't believe in double predestination you're on your way to heLLC, apparently.

[Mellanya]

Will the zambia trip also include a cozy hotel and a high class buffet?

Sometimes I can't help but wonder what makes these men believe that spending 3k+ for a two week trip to some country will actually make them more manly than, say, donating that money.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I dont know how his target audience can afford it. Shouldnt they be using that money to feed their eleventy billion kids so they dont have to make 2 chicken breasts feed the whole family?

[docmom]

Is idea of 'scientific research ' is along the same vein as 'scientific whaling'. Except that you can't even eat the polar bear once you've killed it. I think Doug (is a tool)wants to be Ernest Hemingway the second. I wish he'd fight in a real war and get charged by a real bull like the real Hemingway though.

Maybe they'll eat the polar bear's liver and we won't be troubled by them any more :twisted:

[kaetrin]

Thanks! The rhythm of that phrase was just irrestistible -- it made that tune pop right into my head!

I was about to say I wish we had a love button, but that doesn't sound quite right.

[kaetrin]

So what I'm getting here is that Doug not only wants his own Hollywood, he wants his own National Geographic. I didn't realize that "taking dominion" actually meant "making up my own (highly derivative) parallel universe."

[snarkyjan]

So what I'm getting here is that Doug not only wants his own Hollywood, he wants his own National Geographic. I didn't realize that "taking dominion" actually meant "making up my own (highly derivative) parallel universe."

That's because the REAL universe is laughing its ass off at him.

[countressrascal]

If Dougie "The Tool" really wants a hazardous journey why doesn't he try going to Iraq, that is the craddle of Christianty. I would love to see his ass blown off. Zambia is not a hazardous journey.

[Hane]

Well, I never thought I'd have a reason to type supercalifragilisticexpialidocious twice in the same week, on the same site, but here I am doing it!

To the tune of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious:

Evolutionistic scientism makes us all frown

Even though the meaning of it is too vague to pin down.

If we say it loud enough, we’ll think it is a real noun.

Evolutionistic scientism comes from Doug-clown!

Oh how we-diddle-diddle-oh how we lie

Oh how we-diddle-diddle-oh how we lie

Because I was afraid of fact when I was just a lad

My father gave me nose a tweak and told me I was bad

But then one day I learned from Doug a way to hide from truth,

A stupid phrase that he made up, to teach to all the youth:

Evolutionistic scientism sounds so grown-up,

Even though, when hearing it, the grown-ups all have thrown up.

Let's ignore all science, on our Bible we must bone up,

Evolutionistic scientism, no one own up!

Oh how we-diddle-diddle-oh how we lie

Oh how we-diddle-diddle-oh how we lie

No Stone Age men were grunting, cause we know they never were,

The Garden just had Eve and Adam, dressed in leaves, not fur.

I'm sure Egyptian pharoahs knew that they were not evolved,

And only in the Bible are the mysteries all solved!

Evolutionistic scientism is a scandal,

It made Doug so darned upset that he kicked off a sandal,

From his Roman costume, made by favorite intern, Randall,

Evolutionistic scientism? Light a candle!

Evolutionistic scientism we can’t handle!

Evolutionistic scientism is a vandal!

This just in: thoughtful is a GENIUS. That is all.

[ThisOlGirl]

Maybe they'll end up in a truly hazardous situation and have a "heart of darkness" moment where they realize what douche-canoes they are and that all this fundy stuff is a bunch of nonsense. The horror....!

Mistah Phillips--he a tool.

[auntsally28]

Oi Doug.....if you want to make your journey even more hazardous travel into rural parts of North Western, Copperbelt, Central and Luapula provinces close to the border with the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) particularly after dark and there is an exciting risk of landmines near the borders with Angola, Mozambique and DRC borders....(thanks to the UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office for that..)

[auntsally28]

and....you could also take many photos of sensitive sites like power stations, explosives factories, pumping stations, army barracks, government buildings, river junctions, road and rail bridges, the Ndola Oil refinery, mining areas and airports. A word of caution.....be careful if your manly romps are misunderstood, cause that sort of thing is illegal in Zambia.... ;)

[JesusFightClub]

Or he could visit Papua New Guinea. Or, fuck it all, Pilton's probably scarier (for Doug) than Zambia is :lol:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilton,_Edinburgh

[Ralar]

Ya think this is why we haven't heard of a hazardous journey, to, say, Afghanistan? I'm sure there are many potential Christians in Kaandahar who have not yet been shown the light. How about Sudan? Tadjikistan? No? Too bad, as it's a very manly-man culture out there.

Afghanistan wouldn't be a bad place to get warmed up. THen they could travel to Iran. No need to even convert the Christians there, just minister to the truly persocuted.

[docmom]

Or he could visit Papua New Guinea. Or, fuck it all, Pilton's probably scarier (for Doug) than Zambia is :lol:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilton,_Edinburgh

I'd give a lot to see Doug and his manly men try to exert dominion over Pilton or Possil Park (seeing as I'm a Glaswegian and all)! For a start they wouldn't stand a chance of understanding what the native were swearing at them!

[France Nolan]

I want to see a Hazardous Journey to North Korea.

[JesusFightClub]

I'd give a lot to see Doug and his manly men try to exert dominion over Pilton or Possil Park (seeing as I'm a Glaswegian and all)! For a start they wouldn't stand a chance of understanding what the native were swearing at them!

Hahahaha, or Maryhill... :whistle:

Seriously, why do they think that Zambia is a "hazardous journey"? Like the Amazon, they'll be in a soft comfy berth and occasionally venture out to observe the natives from afar. Try that in Pilton ;)

[docmom]

Hahahaha, or Maryhill... :whistle:

Seriously, why do they think that Zambia is a "hazardous journey"? Like the Amazon, they'll be in a soft comfy berth and occasionally venture out to observe the natives from afar. Try that in Pilton ;)

I see a career for you, JFC, leading expeditions to Scotland's most deprived estates in a bullet-proof-glass sided tank!

[nokidsmom]

They can take John Shrader with them and leave him there. Im sure his family will do better without that shady, lazy, irresponsible douche. Maybe his wife can remarry someone who cares enough about the family to get them a job so they can afford a house.

When I saw the thread title, I thought the same thing.

[JesusFightClub]

I see a career for you, JFC, leading expeditions to Scotland's most deprived estates in a bullet-proof-glass sided tank!

LOLOLOL! Dressed in a sexxay kilt....oh, oops, I'm not a man... :embarrassed:

Top tips for survival:

Shit goes on fire. Ignore it, unless you've had a vodka or seven. Then, run away when the polis show up.

If someone knocks on the door, you don't want to answer. Nothing about this will be good.

If you see something you shouldn't have, you didn't and you've forgotten all about it. Whatever it was.

If someone's fiddling with the contents of their pants in front of you, follow tip #1.

[Rachel333]

Zambia is full of wealthy tourists. I wonder if they're doing the typical safari and Victoria Falls trip (which is amazing, by the way, not knocking it at all). I wouldn't consider it hazardous at all, but if you're stupid things can actually get pretty dangerous if you're around wild animals. I've definitely heard some stories.