All things Razing Ruth

[NurseNell]

My therapist encouraged blogging too.

Thank God blogging wasn't around when I was in therapy for PTSD. My therapist recommended journaling, which I did. Then 20 years later I destroyed the journals. Only my therapist and I had ever read them. No way would I have wanted to share any of what I wrote with others.

[VaSportsMom]

I think Ruth mentioned this family found her by tooling around the campsite looking at cars with Cali plates with only a single young woman. Which is super creepy, but at the same time it was pretty easy by reading her post to know exactly what KOA she was staying at if you are from the area.

I wonder if the Bordens are for real too? I looked up online and there are some Bordens that live in that area.

That part got me when she posted it. If you were freaked out that strangers managed to find you, would you turn around and post in detail about how they were able to do it?

[Coconut Flan]

That part got me when she posted it. If you were freaked out that strangers managed to find you, would you turn around and post in detail about how they were able to do it?

I'd really expect that only from an attention-monger or someone extremely naïve.

[Mama Mia]

True. Confusion happens. I rarely read GOMI either, but I saw that post this morning. I have my own suspicions as to who that poster is/was. I deliberately did not bring it back here because I thought that if I did then I would be shit stirring to post about a shit stirrer stirring shit about FJ on another board, if you know what I mean. :shrug:

I think it is dangerous to paraphrase what people are saying about a subject this sensitive. I saw it as a faintly malicious joking post aimed mostly at the former Admin. You saw it as a statement of fact by an exFJ member and bringing it here stirred up drama a bit. To whit, Curious had to post a clarification/disclaimer.

It is probably better to post a link or give the right information to find the post itself. People can go and look for themselves if they want -- FYI, it is the Franklinator on the GOMI RR thread, page 5. There are two other posters there, possibly former FJ lurkers or posters with low counts who are feeling sad about falling for a scam who couldn't see this thread in Chatter. I felt for them, but not badly enough to register there and post!

Sorry if this sounds hand slappy. I'm just tired of unnecessary drama here and don't mean to take my frustrations out on you.

That said, I think this open discussion about the reality of Ruth is necessary drama. I hate that people are being hurt by all of this, but if it is a scam then I think it should be looked at very closely. FWIW, we don't need to know Ruth's actual identity to uncover a scam. We just need to look at the weight of the inconsistencies and make up our own minds as to how we warn others off. As individuals or, possibly, as FJ policy -- if the administration decides that is the right route.

Yeah, sorry. Didn't realize it was drama people weren't already seeing given the various links. While someone kindly told me how to do links on the iPad I am still struggling with doing it right.

[gustava]

While I am sorry/sad? to hear that RR (won't give her the dignity of a name) has caused many of us to emotionally invest in her "well being" I think that it highlights the fundamental difference between the member of FJ and the people that are the subject of the FJ forum. Caring for others without strings attached is something these "religious, Christian? peoples we snark on on a regular basis is something THEY are unable to do. I am happier to have connected with people who are willing to show their fellow humans kindness and generosity; to invest emotionally, than I am concerned about some internet nutjob scammer who gets his/her jollies by a fraud blog about their sufferings. Screw RR. You all should take a moment and remember that the fact that you read and cared is what separates you from the Duggars, Smuggars, Maxwells, Gothardite, color by number Christian world that can only care about those like themselves. That is more important and valuable than anything else. P.S. Who will play RR in the movie, cuz it reads like a Lifetime TV event (or maybe Oprah?) to me. :wtf:

Welcome newbie. Very interesting insights.

[tinkerbellkmc]

Does anyone remember the final episode of Roseanne? The episode where Roseanne reveals that the entire series was actually her writing a book about her life and everything that had happened had been a “half-truth†and some of the more traumatic parts of her life had been â€rewritten†to help her cope? For example, her husband passed away from a heart attack, but in the series she had changed the events to reflect that he survived and ended up cheating on her because “she felt cheated when he died?†I’ve been lurking on FJ since it was on yuku and I have always been VERY skeptical of this Ruth person. I don’t visit TWOP, but if offduggar is Ruth, this is my theory:

I wholeheartedly believe that Ruth was in therapy for her youth/upbringing, and was urged to write about her experiences and be honest about her feelings. Its not uncommon for therapists to suggest that type of thing, but she was most likely encouraged to do so in the form of a journal or a diary. For whatever reason it appears she took to blogging instead. I feel this whole thing follows a “Roseanne†pattern. I personally don’t believe she has a sister, or if she does, its not the sister who was pregnant that desperately needed help. I think it was Ruth, but the Ruth from years ago. I think her blog is comprised of things in her life that she needed to see in writing, and its almost as if she needed validation from people that the things that happened due to her supposed ATI upbringing were in fact wrong. It’s as if she needed that validation on a personal (as personal as the internet gets) level from more than one person. She’s plucked bits and pieces of her life, and strung them together with other characters/events along the way and molded them into some kind of story. Some of it real, some of it changed because it was traumatic, and some of it added because people started to question her. I think that’s why so many of the FJ users have that “I just don’t know if its true or not†feeling. Its probably because its not ALL lies.

Ps, this is my first post! Sorry for my run-on sentences and love of commas and quotation marks.

[Savoring Samsara]

Given recent "developments" the use of robots.txt files at RR's blog doesn't surprise me.

That said, I'm surprised that the concept of robots.txt files are a surprise to folks here considering how often many of our snarkees "fix up" their various blogs, websites, etc. I first ran into these things several years ago when trying to find some older entries on YLCF via the Wayback Machine.

Yes. Also, I don't see the use of robots.txt as a necessarily malicious act or a sign of scamming in and of itself. I implemented it on my own blog a number of years ago after some people I didn't want having access to my writings found their way there, and I realized that I needed to do a serious clean-up of the amount of personal information I had foolishly shared there. This in no way diminishes the sketchiness of other bits of information that have been discussed here, of course.

[mockingbird]

Tinkerbellkmc, welcome! That's kind-of the feeling I have been getting as this is all playing out. I do think there is some truth to her blog in some form, but not all of it.

Heck the other day I was writing something for myself about a minor event that happened (I thought) in 10th grade. While going through my journals I found that it really happened in 11th grade. I just so distinctly remembered it happening the year before that though, and to me the memories of that event really fit with how I remember feeling in 10th grade... so I just kept it in 10th grade in the essay/story I was writing because I liked the mood of the piece and how it "fit". So I feel like that's the type of thing that has maybe happened with RR's blog but on a bigger scale. Where maybe the big themes are true but not how they are presented - which is maybe more of a cohesive, neatly tied together story than real life?

[Closed Womb]

Does anyone remember the final episode of Roseanne? The episode where Roseanne reveals that the entire series was actually her writing a book about her life and everything that had happened had been a “half-truth†and some of the more traumatic parts of her life had been â€rewritten†to help her cope? For example, her husband passed away from a heart attack, but in the series she had changed the events to reflect that he survived and ended up cheating on her because “she felt cheated when he died?†I’ve been lurking on FJ since it was on yuku and I have always been VERY skeptical of this Ruth person. I don’t visit TWOP, but if offduggar is Ruth, this is my theory:

I wholeheartedly believe that Ruth was in therapy for her youth/upbringing, and was urged to write about her experiences and be honest about her feelings. Its not uncommon for therapists to suggest that type of thing, but she was most likely encouraged to do so in the form of a journal or a diary. For whatever reason it appears she took to blogging instead. I feel this whole thing follows a “Roseanne†pattern. I personally don’t believe she has a sister, or if she does, its not the sister who was pregnant that desperately needed help. I think it was Ruth, but the Ruth from years ago. I think her blog is comprised of things in her life that she needed to see in writing, and its almost as if she needed validation from people that the things that happened due to her supposed ATI upbringing were in fact wrong. It’s as if she needed that validation on a personal (as personal as the internet gets) level from more than one person. She’s plucked bits and pieces of her life, and strung them together with other characters/events along the way and molded them into some kind of story. Some of it real, some of it changed because it was traumatic, and some of it added because people started to question her. I think that’s why so many of the FJ users have that “I just don’t know if its true or not†feeling. Its probably because its not ALL lies.

Ps, this is my first post! Sorry for my run-on sentences and love of commas and quotation marks.

Sure, maybe it's a coping mechanism. Maybe it was a little bits of fun, pretending to be a teenage mom here, a college student there, with some truth thrown in for authenticity.

But, it becomes ethically abhorrent, to me, once she solicits money to fix her imaginary woes. YMMV.

[Guest]

Sure, maybe it's a coping mechanism. Maybe it was a little bits of fun, pretending to be a teenage mom here, a college student there, with some truth thrown in for authenticity.

But, it becomes ethically abhorrent, to me, once she solicits money to fix her imaginary woes. YMMV.

Exactly. I really want RR to stop by, apologize, and set the story straight, but because she has had people donate to her, I doubt she will for fear of retaliation. If it was as simple as tinkerbellkmc said, people would be mad, but she would be forgiven. She took it too far though.

Btw welcome tinkerbellkmc! :dance:

[Peas n carrots]

Wait...so then she DID delete the post that was talking about which campground she stayed at, right? Or was that something she also posted here? How else did they know where to look for her? She had to have mentioned somewhere that she was staying in a Nebraska campground before they knew where to find her.

I went back a few days ago and the original KOA post is gone. I think she deleted it when she put up the June 30th stalker post.

So going back to reference, the post naming the Bordens and thanking them for seeing her at the KOA would have been after the May 30th post. However, there could have been a couple posts referring to the camp ground...anyways, my memory is fuzzy on whether the family found her before she mentioned the KOA or after.

The tornado story checks out, but anyone could have culled that from the local weather report.

http://www.theindependent.com/news/stat ... mment-area

Edited to add link

[treemom]

Thank God blogging wasn't around when I was in therapy for PTSD. My therapist recommended journaling, which I did. Then 20 years later I destroyed the journals. Only my therapist and I had ever read them. No way would I have wanted to share any of what I wrote with others.

I already was blogging and had been keeping a diary/journal for my whole life.

But part of it was to demonstrate my crazy wasn't unusual...my fears weren't abnormal etc. blogging meant other people commented etc.

Once I was healthy I had no real interest in it anymore even though I still keep a journal.

[treemom]

it's really weird that she put that txt file in her blog

who even knows how to do that?

It is super easy to do. And personally I don't want my shit in the way back or indexed by google, so I have it on there.

[treemom]

Over on TWOP a 'prominent former poster' is now theorizing that the admins at FJ are probably in on the scam and/or Alecto is actually the Raising Ruth persona :popcorn2:

Reading over on that child free forum......the member in question seemed to have an incredibly similar story.

I kind of am leaning towards the person (forget who) who theorized the maybe Rachel and Ruth's stories are a combination of the same person. Maybe "Ruth" was traumatized by an early pregnancy that ended in adoption or losing the baby and felt the need to work the experience into her narrative.

Eta: While her story, to me, is certainly seeming more and more like a con, I do have to say that I worked in social services agencies for years, and the number and range of catastrophes doesn't seem that far-fetched. We would of course get a few people who exaggerated or manufactured their issues, but many people really do have a life of constant crises.

No one has to believe me...but Alecto was not Ruth. I am 100% confident in that.

Nor do I think any past or present admin is in on it. Not me, not Alecto, not the flouncing admin and mods and no one else.

There are people here who can vouch for me. You don't have the believe them, but they have seen the work I do. They have gotten post cards from me. My stories and pictures match. It isn't hard to find me really...

I would say Ruth is more likely to be gothard himself before anyone on the admin or mod team.

[NurseNell]

I already was blogging and had been keeping a diary/journal for my whole life.

But part of it was to demonstrate my crazy wasn't unusual...my fears weren't abnormal etc. blogging meant other people commented etc.

Once I was healthy I had no real interest in it anymore even though I still keep a journal.

I've kept a diary my whole life but I don't consider that a journal. I've kept a dream journal for about 25 years. The journals that were part of therapy have since been destroyed, they served their purpose. Perhaps I would have blogged but it wasn't an option in the 80's. You're right, the feedback can be useful. But a lot of it was too private.

[library_youth]

Not sure if she deleted anything on her blog, but I don't remember her ever mentioning Nebraska on there, only here on FJ. Her post about the Borden family was on page 8 of this thread.

I wish Google Reader hadn't shut down; it retained blog posts regardless of whether they'd been deleted from a blog.

[Lainey]

I went back a few days ago and the original KOA post is gone. I think she deleted it when she put up the June 30th stalker post.

So going back to reference, the post naming the Bordens and thanking them for seeing her at the KOA would have been after the May 30th post. However, there could have been a couple posts referring to the camp ground...anyways, my memory is fuzzy on whether the family found her before she mentioned the KOA or after.

The tornado story checks out, but anyone could have culled that from the local weather report.

http://www.theindependent.com/news/stat ... mment-area

Edited to add link

Too little, too late, no? I don't understand that. Why delete it AFTER she was found at the campground, and was gone from there? Makes no sense. But are you saying there was actually a blog post where she mentioned being at a KOA in Nebraska? Because I thought there was, but I may be getting it mixed up with posts she made here.

I also find it a bit strange that she told Curious that she legally changed her name. I can't even figure out why I find that strange; I just do. Anyone else?

[treemom]

Oh, haha, I completely missed the tenor of your post obviously. Yes, indeed - what would be the point of trying to prevent your blog from being cached if you had nothing to hide?

Because of jobs or family or anything? I wanted to be able to walk away one day and maybe someone has screen shots but not the complete content. Or lots of things.

Of all the stuff, I think robots.txt is the least problematic.

[Lainey]

No one has to believe me...but Alecto was not Ruth. I am 100% confident in that.

Nor do I think any past or present admin is in on it. Not me, not Alecto, not the flouncing admin and mods and no one else.

There are people here who can vouch for me. You don't have the believe them, but they have seen the work I do. They have gotten post cards from me. My stories and pictures match. It isn't hard to find me really...

I can vouch for all of this, for what it's worth. I am certain that Ruth is someone entirely different from any of these people Treemom mentioned.

ETA: It's the robot.txt stuff ALONG with all the other stuff, for a naive ex-fundamentalist trying to make her way in the world. I don't buy it.

[Mustang Sally]

I can vouch for all of this, for what it's worth.

I don't think anyone is seriously entertaining this notion. It was a stupid off-hand remark made in jest by someone on GOMI, not an actual concern as far as I know.

ETA: The "legally changed her name" sent up a red flag for me too when I read it. That could easily be someone trying to explain away a discrepancy between her online persona and her real life name.

[Lainey]

I don't think anyone is seriously entertaining this notion. It was a stupid off-hand remark made in jest by someone on GOMI, not an actual concern as far as I know.

You just never know what people will take and run with.

[DefraudedbyGothard]

but a baby is one hell of an inconsistency and I can't just write that off

Yes! but more importantly...

PRISM! where is that baby??

[nonymouse]

Doesn't legally changing your name take money? Money that she supposedly didn't have to spend?

[MarthaMarcyMayMarlen]

I dont know why its so hard to believe she changed her name, people do that all the time. It costs about $100 where I used to be last time I checked.

[sparkplug]

I gather then that she changed her name to Mary? I wonder if it actually was her middle name or something.