Ladies shouldn't work unless they've completed the following

[PennySycamore]

I was inspired by Lady Lydia. I don't think fundie SAHM bloggers should blog until they have completed the following tasks:

1. Read "The Handmaids Tale"

2. Take your kids to a natural history museum to look at some transition fossils.

3. Rid your house of all plumbing line not actually used for plumbing.

4 Take an adult education course at the community college.

5. Spend an entire day doing absolutely nothing of importance while you husband takes the kids out for a day.

6. Watch a documentary about the origin of the universe.

7. Go to the store and a buy a new iron so your husband can do his own damn ironing if he needs a freshly pressed shirt.

8. Engage in some self fellowship (not saying you have to, but something to try of your curious)

9. Read a book about another religion.

10. Come hang out on Free Jinger for a while!

Great list, twin 2! Point number 8 reminds me of what happened to the mom in Pleasantville when she was told she could pleasure herself and did so in the bath: suddenly, the scene changes from black and white to Technicolor!

[ladyaudley]

Hooray! Eleventy!

I get to work outside the home. I've got that list pretty much down pat (except the inviting people over for tea thing - which as an introvert strikes dread in my heart). It is actually not that hard for me. Why? Because (1) no children - so only two adults to manage (2) we have no clutter - really - about 5- 6 years ago we did a massive declutter and organization and now it is just a matter of maintenance (3) both of us are neat and organized and we share the housework pretty fairly (4) reading books does not count as a task - I read because I love to read and as for learning new stuff - this month I learned how to crochet (5) my husband does not ask me iron because I hate ironing and am crap at it while he is excellent at ironing and finds it a zen like activity to do - also he is an adult who can look after himself

So maybe Lady Lydia should take home care tips from me then..... :D

same here! I can say yes to all that apply ( I live in a flat, so no porch, etc) and I work six days a week. Suck on that, Lady L.

[auntsally28]

I can make my table centrepiece out of all the final demand bills that would come cascading through my door if I stopped working. I like a bit of papier mache.... :mrgreen:

[Joan of Snarc]

Why are fundies so obsessed with baking bread anyway? Don't they know it's full of carbs?

:lol:

[Trynn]

I do love me some home baked bread. Mmm! But I use a bread machine, at least for the kneading part, then I take it out and bake it in the oven. If I do it by hand, it comes out like a rock. If I let the machine bake it, it'd also make a good doorstop.

But atm I am an ebil Kahlej student, and no bread machines allowed :(

My friends make it for me sometimes, though :)

I think fundies are obsessed with baking bread because it builds character --all that hard work! Either that or they're really obsessed with it because it helps them get out their frustration: pound pound punch punch! A punching bag that's not really a punching bag. They can get out their anger not only without hurting other people, but by seeming godly while doing it. I think this might be the real reason...

[chaotic life]

Most fundies obssessed with baking bread are either using a Kitchen Aide or a Bosch. They don't knead their bread either. They use technology and cheat but you dare use a bread machine that shows you cheated! They allevaite their guilt by buying a grinder attachment so they are making their bread from wheat berries with their kitchen tools. It's more "special" that way. Fundies who lack those heavy duty kitchen tools RARELY bake bread.

[badmath]

She doesn't give women enough credit... my mother worked a full time job as a nurse AND our house was always clean, and she cooked dinner almost every night. It's common, not impossible... and your kids and husband can HELP!

It's also okay if you don't do these things, and it's okay if you to hire people to do this stuff for you... there is no one "right" way to be a good woman, wife, mother or homemaker!!

[salex]

Why are fundies so obsessed with baking bread anyway? Don't they know it's full of carbs?

:lol:

Personally, I believe a lot of the time consuming tasks that our grandmothers abandoned as new technology freed them from them are fashionable with fundies and some SAH spouses because they are time consuming. After all, if many of us on this board keep house, cook, decorate, iron, have clean laundry, etc while working 50 hour weeks. Given this fact, the amount of housework required to make it a full time job (especially for a helpmeet with no small children and a couple of SAHD) involves a lot of esoteric time consuming tasks. Even she acknowledges that the bread bakingand the laundry hanging is time eater so you don't get bored.

When I was laid off a while back, i maintained a job search, was active in a women's group, volunteered for community events using my marketing and writing background, wasted hours on the internet, had the house spotless, budgetted and cherry picked sales at several grocery stores a week to get the most bang for my buck, studied Martha Stewart's shirt ironing tips and began using liquid starch (!!) on them, freezing damp shirts before ironing, etc. I dabbled with making my own laundry soap-(it left a bathtub ring in my washer!)-many evening meals were gourmet variations. I stll was thrilled when I returned to work--the challenges of my 'real' job are more interesting than what I was getting without it--and nothing I wanted to do or continue had to be abandoned. What can I say, I like money more than makework.

[AnywhereButHere]

There’s a cookie that we’ve made in my family for years that requires the ingredients to be beat/mixed for about ½ hour. I stick the ingredients in my lovely mixer, put it on low, set the timer and walk away. My husband came in one day and asked what my grandmother would say, considering she had to stand there for that ½ hour mixing by hand, with a spoon. He then dared to say that my cookies would not come out as well as hers. I informed him that my grandma was a very smart woman, she would tell me that I was a smart woman and that he was not allowed to have any cookies. He could have some when he did something stupid like getting rid of the lawnmower and attempt to trim the grass using scissors – or a goat. :D

[Wolfie]

There’s a cookie that we’ve made in my family for years that requires the ingredients to be beat/mixed for about ½ hour. I stick the ingredients in my lovely mixer, put it on low, set the timer and walk away. My husband came in one day and asked what my grandmother would say, considering she had to stand there for that ½ hour mixing by hand, with a spoon. He then dared to say that my cookies would not come out as well as hers. I informed him that my grandma was a very smart woman, she would tell me that I was a smart woman and that he was not allowed to have any cookies. He could have some when he did something stupid like getting rid of the lawnmower and attempt to trim the grass using scissors – or a goat. :D

My grandmas would have been the same way. My great grandma was odd, though, and some stuff she did the easy way, but other things she did the old way. (Like she used a wood stove for cooking into the 60's even though they also had a gas one, but then I tend to use her treadle for most of my sewing, so I get it for some things.) I do the bread machine knead on my bread (it works better than by hand or my kitchen aid) as another person has mentioned.

But goats, they are pretty effective as lawn mowers. My chickens have actually been doing a good job this spring too.

[Stephers831]

I can't help myself, I want to fill this one out.

Do you have a morning routine in the house?

Hit snooze alarm until husband protests, put dog out, shower, bring dog in, feed cats, fix lunches, get dressed, check on sleeping hubby.

2. Are your dishes washed and put away?

Normally theres a dishrack full of drying dishes and at least one or two things soaking in my sink.

3. Is your cabinet top clear?

My cabinet tops are 8 1/2 foot off the ground, I use them to store things I don't use often like the blender, various specality appliances, a coffee pot, etc. It gets dusted weekly.

4. Is your table clear, when not dining, and do you have a centepiece?

Yes if 1 16lb tortie and 1 10lb gray cat count, otherwise no I'm lacking a center piece.

5. Have you cleaned your cupboards and storage areas and fridge in the last 3 months?

I live in a 900 sq ft house, of course I have

6. Is your porch clean and the entry way cheerful for visitors or people who see it from the road?

Nope, it apparently belongs to the dog and he decorates it how he pleases. It keeps the neighbors kids and the general thugs in the neighboorhood away so I don't care.

7. Are your carpets clean?

No carpets in my house.

8. Is your floor clean?

Vacumn weekly, swiffer daily.

9. Is your living room ready for company?

If they don't mind sharing their space with the dog and the cats, if they do they shouldn't be in my house anyways.

10. Is your laundry washed, folded, ironed and put away? (Keep in mind, I am not saying you have to do this. I am only listing it in case you think you have time to bring in another income!)

It's mostly washed, mostly dried, and sorted, waiting to be folded and put up when I get the urge/have time

11. Is your mending and button replacement caught up?

That's what my stepmom is for. Seriously I think I've needed 1 button replaced in the last 5 years.

12. Do you bake bread? (Once again, no one HAS to do it, but if a woman is bored, maybe she should bake her bread. It takes more time. It smells wonderful. It has far greater effects than can be listed here, both emotionally and physically or even involving childhood memory)

If cornbread and biscuts count then yes, otherwise only when hubby begs for beer bread.

13. Is your bathroom shining clean and does it smell nice?

I live with a man, 2 cats, and a dog, it's clean, there's nothing dead in there, but I can't promise it smells nice.

14. Does your house smell nice?

See question 13.

15. Have you re-decorated or re-arranged in the last 3 years? (You need not do it, but if you think you need to go to work or take on extra work earning money at home, why not put the time into re-beautifying your house?)

We bought it in July, remolded from the studs out in some rooms, painted, and moved in this past December. The first person who suggesets doing something else to it right now will be physically harmed.

16. Are your beds made? Are your sheets and bedding fresh?

When I leave for work my hubby is in the bed sleeping, when he gets home from work I'm in the bed sleeping. The sheets and bedding are changed regularly but until we work the same shift the bed doesn't get made.

17. Do you hang your clothes on the line? (You needn't, but it takes more time, and is good for your health and it actually increases the life of your sheets and clothes, as opposed to the dryer)

I'd have either iced clothing or mold, neither appeal to me.

18. Do you grow a garden, or even a tomato in a pot?

We're going to plant a small test garden this year.

19. Are your drawers and storage areas organized

90% of my storage is under my house, if you're that nosey please don't visit.

20. Are your photos organized?

In boxes in storage

21. Are your computer files organized?

Which computer?

22. Is your correspondence caught up?

I'm current on facebook and emails.

23. Do you make any of your own clothes?

No. I don't hate myself that much. I was forced to wear a few homemade things as a child and that will never happen to my kids either.

24. Does your husband ever have to ask for an ironed shirt?

My husband thinks I'm the best wife ever if he can find his work clothes. If he wants something ironed, Unlce Sam taught him how and his mommy is still alive, he has options there.

25. ARe your books organized?

No...I just got reduced from 6 bookshelves down to 1, still trying to figure out where to put wall shelving and what I can bear to get rid of.

26. Do you go through your things regularly for garage sales?

See again we just moved.

27. Are your windows clean?

Both the inside and the outside of all my 1930s windows are covered in plastic which is covered by clean curtains, no washing of windows in this house.

28. Do you cook regular meals from basic ingredients?

Yes, often. Though I'm an evil woman because hubby cooks too and is better at making some things.

29. Have you had anyone over for tea in the last month?

I can honestly say that other than a teddy bear or two I've never had anyone over for tea in my lifetime.

30. Do you read at least one good book or learn something new within the year, or learned any new skill?

I've got 5 books I'm reading right now. I learned drywalling, plumbing, painting, spackeling, and cussing skills during the house remodel.

[RachelB]

1. Do you have a morning routine in the house?

Wake up, make tea and drink it. If it's a grading day, grade a paper, then go for a walk with The Partner, then have breakfast and shower. If it's not a grading day skip directly to breakfast / shower. Make a second cup of tea to take to campus, pack lunch, check the net to see when the bus will actually arrive, leave.

2. Are your dishes washed and put away?

Breakfast and lunch dishes are in the dish drainer; tea cup is close at hand.

3. Is your cabinet top clear?

My cabinet top coincides with the ceiling.

4. Is your table clear, when not dining, and do you have a centepiece [sic]?

We have two card tables. One has a napkin holder on it. The other has the ebil New York Times and my bookstand, which often has a book on it. You may count any of these things as centerpieces; we do not do decorative. (Do I have a centepiece? Do you have a spellcheck?)

5. Have you cleaned your cupboards and storage areas and fridge in the last 3 months?

What storage areas? And no, we have doors on the cupboards, which keeps the dust out handily.

6. Is your porch clean and the entry way cheerful for visitors or people who see it from the road?

We live in an apartment.

7. Are your carpets clean?

No! Do I care? No!

8. Is your floor clean?

Are you kidding? I'm grading papers. My half of the computer room looks like a ream of paper was violently ill. The Partner's half is clean.

9. Is your living room ready for company?

No. But our company is polite enough to call ahead of time. Why isn't yours?

10. Is your laundry washed, folded, ironed and put away? (Keep in mind, I am not saying you have to do this. I am only listing it in case you think you have time to bring in another income!)

I own exactly one item that needs ironing. But in general, yes.

11. Is your mending and button replacement caught up?

*performs quizzical golden retriever headtilt* Is this a thing?

12. Do you bake bread? (Once again, no one HAS to do it, but if a woman is bored, maybe she should bake her bread. It takes more time. It smells wonderful. It has far greater effects than can be listed here, both emotionally and physically or even involving childhood memory)

Sometimes. Last Friday, for instance: cottage cheese dill quick bread.

13. Is your bathroom shining clean and does it smell nice?

Shining clean, no. But it smells pleasantly of soap.

14. Does your house smell nice?

You mean apartment. Yes.

15. Have you re-decorated or re-arranged in the last 3 years? (You need not do it, but if you think you need to go to work or take on extra work earning money at home, why not put the time into re-beautifying your house?)

Um, if we paint the walls or put holes in them, we forfeit our deposit. That would be stupid.

16. Are your beds made? Are your sheets and bedding fresh?

Bed is made two out of three days-- it depends on if The Partner and I get up at the same time.

17. Do you hang your clothes on the line? (You needn't, but it takes more time, and is good for your health and it actually increases the life of your sheets and clothes, as opposed to the dryer)

Delicates go on the drying rack, but it's humid here: sheets, towels, and jeans (I mean frumpers) won't dry unless they've gone into the dryer.

18. Do you grow a garden, or even a tomato in a pot?

One Christmas cactus, one monster lemon verbena plant.

19. Are your drawers and storage areas organized?

Storage, porridge. Is anyone really this bored?

20. Are your photos organized?

I am the text archivist, not the photo archivist. Isn't the division of labor wonderful?

21. Are your computer files organized?

What does this even mean? Are you asking if I can find stuff on my computer, or if you would be able to find stuff on my computer? What if I don't want you to be able to find stuff on my computer?

22. Is your correspondence caught up?

There are no outstanding e-mails that require response that I haven't yet responded to.

23. Do you make any of your own clothes?

I haven't the talent, the inclination, or the tools to do so. I do hem pants and skirts on occasion.

24. Does your husband ever have to ask for an ironed shirt?

I have no husband: I have a partner. We hang shirts up right out of the dryer. Speaking of which, if you're handing your clothes on the line to dry, as question 17 suggests, why do your clothes wrinkle, exactly?

25. Are your books organized?

We don't have enough shelves for all the books. I'm guessing you'd say no.

26. Do you go through your things regularly for garage sales?

We have no garage. But we do a yearly Goodwill drop-off.

27. Are your windows clean?

Tolerably.

28. Do you cook regular meals from basic ingredients?

Yes.

29. Have you had anyone over for tea in the last month?

Yes, though she had coffee.

30. Do you read at least one good book or learn something new within the year, or learned any new skill?

:lol: My job-- you know, that thing you're telling me I'm not supposed to have, because I haven't be-doily-ed my habitat?-- is centered on reading and writing, so yeah.

[Jinger Jar]

Lady Lydia, I'm curious. You name all of these activities that women could or should be doing around the house before they consider working to bring in an income. Maybe things are different in your world, but in my world cleaning my cupboards doesn't help me pay my mortgage, and making sure my condo smells pretty doesn't pay my stepdaughters' orthodontist.

If ironing your bed sheets keeps your lights on and rearranging your living room furniture pays your property taxes, party on, Lady. Just try to wrap your head around the notion that some of us live in a universe where we need to have this thing called "employment" to earn something called a "paycheck." We turn this "paycheck" - sometimes called just a "check" - into money to buy groceries, gas, insurance, and professional services from people like veterinarians and plumbers. This "employment" often comes with these things called "benefits," which enable us and our families to access medical and mental health care without becoming destitute. And a few of us fortunate ones also get this nifty thing called a "pension" with our "employment" so we don't have to face old age as indigents or burden our children with our care at the time in their lives when they're still providing for their children.

See, the other thing about the universe many of us exist in is that poverty, homelessness, bankruptcy, or just being plain old broke ass don't discriminate. They affect men and women alike. Yes, I could stay home all day sewing Kinsale capes out of baby blankets, baking blueberry scones, and hosting fabulous foggy day tea parties. When, however, my bank sends me a foreclosure notice on my mortgage, it doesn't give two toots if I have a penis or a clitoris. Or both. Or neither for that matter. All it cares about is getting its money. I cannot compel my bank to allow me and my family to remain in our home with the argument that my hoo-hoo precludes me from being gainfully employed. My credit card company, home owners association, and county assessor also don't think my genitalia determine my ability to "work" to make "money" to pay "bills." All they're interested in from me is my ability to stroke checks.

Were I so lucky to be able to breeze through life making heirloom keepsakes out of cereal boxes, a dime store tea cup of boiled blackberry water in one hand and a fleece fascinator perched on my noggin at a jaunty angle. You're living la vida loca, Lady Lydia. My vagina salutes you.

[Marian the Librarian]

Lady Lydia, I'm curious. You name all of these activities that women could or should be doing around the house before they consider working to bring in an income. Maybe things are different in your world, but in my world cleaning my cupboards doesn't help me pay my mortgage, and making sure my condo smells pretty doesn't pay my stepdaughters' orthodontist.

If ironing your bed sheets keeps your lights on and rearranging your living room furniture pays your property taxes, party on, Lady. Just try to wrap your head around the notion that some of us live in a universe where we need to have this thing called "employment" to earn something called a "paycheck." We turn this "paycheck" - sometimes called just a "check" - into money to buy groceries, gas, insurance, and professional services from people like veterinarians and plumbers. This "employment" often comes with these things called "benefits," which enable us and our families to access medical and mental health care without becoming destitute. And a few of us fortunate ones also get this nifty thing called a "pension" with our "employment" so we don't have to face old age as indigents or burden our children with our care at the time in their lives when they're still providing for their children.

See, the other thing about the universe many of us exist in is that poverty, homelessness, bankruptcy, or just being plain old broke ass don't discriminate. They affect men and women alike. Yes, I could stay home all day sewing Kinsale capes out of baby blankets, baking blueberry scones, and hosting fabulous foggy day tea parties. When, however, my bank sends me a foreclosure notice on my mortgage, it doesn't give two toots if I have a penis or a clitoris. Or both. Or neither for that matter. All it cares about is getting its money. I cannot compel my bank to allow me and my family to remain in our home with the argument that my hoo-hoo precludes me from being gainfully employed. My credit card company, home owners association, and county assessor also don't think my genitalia determine my ability to "work" to make "money" to pay "bills." All they're interested in from me is my ability to stroke checks.

Were I so lucky to be able to breeze through life making heirloom keepsakes out of cereal boxes, a dime store tea cup of boiled blackberry water in one hand and a fleece fascinator perched on my noggin at a jaunty angle. You're living la vida loca, Lady Lydia. My vagina salutes you.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Brava. Best post of the week, hands down.

[Scales]

All of the things she lists are what outsiders can observe. She didn't list anything about what's actually important in life. I'm sad for her that she views these things as the top priority for her in her job as mother and wife.

[Lainey]

Oooh, this is fun. I'm a stay-at-home cat mom. Let's see how I do...

1. Do you have a morning routine in the house?

Yes. I get up and go to the bathroom. Then I fire up the laptop. That's my morning routine. :mrgreen:

2. Are your dishes washed and put away?

Yes. Except the ones in the dishwasher that are waiting for there to be a full load.

3. Is your cabinet top clear?

What is she talking about? The space above my cabinets? No, that's where we put all the crap that we almost never use.

4. Is your table clear, when not dining, and do you have a centepiece?

No, but in a later question she asks about growing tomatoes...where does she want me to put my tomato plants!?

5. Have you cleaned your cupboards and storage areas and fridge in the last 3 months?

No...but somebody else did. Close enough.

6. Is your porch clean and the entry way cheerful for visitors or people who see it from the road?

I don't have a porch...and sure. It'll do.

7. Are your carpets clean?

They damn well should be--my husband uses the carpet cleaner on them at least once a week. Damn pukey cats...

8. Is your floor clean?

Clean enough.

9. Is your living room ready for company?

Sure. Though I suppose it could stand a quick vacuum.

10. Is your laundry washed, folded, ironed and put away? (Keep in mind, I am not saying you have to do this. I am only listing it in case you think you have time to bring in another income!)

Washed yes, folded no, ironed--people still iron!?!? :pink-shock: Put away, no. Well, some of it is.

11. Is your mending and button replacement caught up?

No. When I was able to button my jacket again, I decided that was good enough for me.

12. Do you bake bread? (Once again, no one HAS to do it, but if a woman is bored, maybe she should bake her bread. It takes more time. It smells wonderful. It has far greater effects than can be listed here, both emotionally and physically or even involving childhood memory)

Yes. In a breadmaker. Ha!

13. Is your bathroom shining clean and does it smell nice?

It's all right...it doesn't really smell like anything.

14. Does your house smell nice?

It smells like somebody cooked fish tonight, for some reason. Wasn't me!

15. Have you re-decorated or re-arranged in the last 3 years? (You need not do it, but if you think you need to go to work or take on extra work earning money at home, why not put the time into re-beautifying your house?)

Yes. What does she have against women earning money?

16. Are your beds made? Are your sheets and bedding fresh?

Yes. I washed my blankets just today, in fact. Granted it was because the cat threw up on them, but still.

17. Do you hang your clothes on the line? (You needn't, but it takes more time, and is good for your health and it actually increases the life of your sheets and clothes, as opposed to the dryer)

Sadly, I do not have a line.

18. Do you grow a garden, or even a tomato in a pot?

Yes. See above. I keep my tomato plants on the table for the time being. Also corn, watermelon (well, I tried...it didn't come up), basil, cilantro, mint?, and...um, spinach, I think.

19. Are your drawers and storage areas organized?

Define "organized." :shifty-kitty:

20. Are your photos organized?

I don't know how to answer this question. Sort of?

21. Are your computer files organized?

Again, sort of. :?

22. Is your correspondence caught up?

What correspondence?

23. Do you make any of your own clothes?

No. I'm not a good seamstress.

24. Does your husband ever have to ask for an ironed shirt?

My husband is more likely to be the one to iron a shirt--be it his or mine.

25. ARe your books organized?

:? They're on bookshelves...mostly. How are they supposed to be organized?

26. Do you go through your things regularly for garage sales?

I thought I wasn't supposed to try to make money?

27. Are your windows clean?

I can see out of them! :D

28. Do you cook regular meals from basic ingredients?

No, I'm trying to make my current housepests go away, and everything I read on how to get rid of unwelcome "guests" says to stop feeding them and making their lives easier.

29. Have you had anyone over for tea in the last month?

I've had people over...not explicitly "for tea." I'm trying to imagine my friends' reactions if I asked them to come over specifically "for tea." This might be fun. I might do it just to see what they say. :lol:

30. Do you read at least one good book or learn something new within the year, or learned any new skill?

Yes, I do. And since we're on the subject, Lady Lydia, I think you would benefit from learning a bit about grammar. That sentence was terrible. It gave me the vapours and now I have to go pass out on my fainting couch from the shock. :shock:

What'd I win? Did I win anything? Am I allowed to go to work? Probably not, huh? Oh well.

[Confused_by_religion]

This whole "...it takes up time..."-vibe is so weird.

I keep thinking of totally desperate depressed 50ies housewives who have done all their housework and now are so bored they take up drinking. As a remedy to alcoholism, they then take up flower arranging (or centre piece making.)

If I start doing work that takes up time just to be less bored, please hit me with a blunt instrument ASAP. :angry-banghead:

Thank you.

[Peppercorn]

All of the things she lists are what outsiders can observe. She didn't list anything about what's actually important in life. I'm sad for her that she views these things as the top priority for her in her job as mother and wife.

Good point. Where are the "Have you invited your children to tea?" or "Have you volunteered at the women's shelter?" questions.

No, it's much more important to have a lovely centerpiece.

Mine is currently a dusty and empty cake stand. Double whammie--I'm failing as a cleaner and a baker!

[ADoyle90815]

. Do you have a morning routine in the house?

Yes. I go to the bathroom, take a shower, and have some coffee.

2. Are your dishes washed and put away?

Yes, but I have some in the dishwasher waiting for a full load.

3. Is your cabinet top clear?

I don't have many cabinet tops, but it's also where I keep decorative stuff and things like my mortar and pestile that I rarely use.

4. Already answered this, sometimes there's a sleeping cat on the washed laundry pile.

5. Have you cleaned your cupboards and storage areas and fridge in the last 3 months?

Yes, mostly throwing out stuff that was expired.

6. Is your porch clean and the entry way cheerful for visitors or people who see it from the road?

Actually, yes now that the roses are starting to bloom.

7. Are your carpets clean?

Don't have carpets, but the rugs do get vacuumed and occasionally spot cleaned because of pukey cats.

8. Is your floor clean?

Clean enough for now.

9. Is your living room ready for company?

Sure, but most people hang out in the family room and kitchen anyway

10. Is your laundry washed, folded, ironed and put away? (Keep in mind, I am not saying you have to do this. I am only listing it in case you think you have time to bring in another income!)

Yes. Wait, people still iron? :shock: That's what the permanent press cycle on the dryer is for.

11. Is your mending and button replacement caught up?

Yes, as it only takes a few minutes to sew a button back on.

12. Do you bake bread? (Once again, no one HAS to do it, but if a woman is bored, maybe she should bake her bread. It takes more time. It smells wonderful. It has far greater effects than can be listed here, both emotionally and physically or even involving childhood memory)

Sometimes, but I'm still planning to get a bread machine.

13. Is your bathroom shining clean and does it smell nice?

It's clean enough, and I do have one of those reed diffusers

14. Does your house smell nice?

It's nice enough for me now.

15. Have you re-decorated or re-arranged in the last 3 years? (You need not do it, but if you think you need to go to work or take on extra work earning money at home, why not put the time into re-beautifying your house?)

Yes, but some of us work because we have to pay the bills, as banks, utility companies, etc don't care what genitals someone has, as long as they get their checks in on time.

16. Are your beds made? Are your sheets and bedding fresh?

Usually, but sometimes my cats prefer to sleep on beds before they can be made. As I mentioned, I start the morning in the bathroom, and that includes my shower. One cat even likes to burrow under the comforter so you see a cat sized lump. The sheets do get washed weekly.

17. Do you hang your clothes on the line? (You needn't, but it takes more time, and is good for your health and it actually increases the life of your sheets and clothes, as opposed to the dryer)

No line here.

18. Do you grow a garden, or even a tomato in a pot?

The only plants I've managed not to kill are roses, succulents including cacti, and geraniums.

19. Are your drawers and storage areas organized?

For me, they are.

20. Are your photos organized?

They're on my computer and on Facebook

21. Are your computer files organized?

My computer does that for me.

22. Is your correspondence caught up?

That's what Facebook is for.

23. Do you make any of your own clothes?

The only things I make are for the Renaissance Faire.

24. Does your husband ever have to ask for an ironed shirt?

He's taken care of himself since he was in college, so he does his own laundry

25. ARe your books organized?

They're in the book shelves, which is good enough for me.

26. Do you go through your things regularly for garage sales?

I have to get a permit from my city before having a garage sale, but I do donate to battered women's shelters.

27. Are your windows clean?

You can see out of them. :wink-kitty:

28. Do you cook regular meals from basic ingredients?

Yes, but I'm a foodie who also enjoys cooking.

29. Have you had anyone over for tea in the last month?

That's what the Starbucks down the street is for.

30. Do you read at least one good book or learn something new within the year, or learned any new skill?

I read for fun, not as a chore. I'm always learning new things as I would rather use my brain.

[writer533]

Lady Lydia at the Home Living blog homeliving.blogspot.com/2007/09/taking-time-to-reflect.html has a to-do list women should follow before deciding to seek employment outside of the home. Here it is:

Do you have a morning routine in the house?

2. Are your dishes washed and put away?

3. Is your cabinet top clear?

4. Is your table clear, when not dining, and do you have a centepiece?

5. Have you cleaned your cupboards and storage areas and fridge in the last 3 months?

6. Is your porch clean and the entry way cheerful for visitors or people who see it from the road?

7. Are your carpets clean?

8. Is your floor clean?

9. Is your living room ready for company?

10. Is your laundry washed, folded, ironed and put away? (Keep in mind, I am not saying you have to do this. I am only listing it in case you think you have time to bring in another income!)

11. Is your mending and button replacement caught up?

12. Do you bake bread? (Once again, no one HAS to do it, but if a woman is bored, maybe she should bake her bread. It takes more time. It smells wonderful. It has far greater effects than can be listed here, both emotionally and physically or even involving childhood memory)

13. Is your bathroom shining clean and does it smell nice?

14. Does your house smell nice?

15. Have you re-decorated or re-arranged in the last 3 years? (You need not do it, but if you think you need to go to work or take on extra work earning money at home, why not put the time into re-beautifying your house?)

16. Are your beds made? Are your sheets and bedding fresh?

17. Do you hang your clothes on the line? (You needn't, but it takes more time, and is good for your health and it actually increases the life of your sheets and clothes, as opposed to the dryer)

18. Do you grow a garden, or even a tomato in a pot?

19. Are your drawers and storage areas organized?

20. Are your photos organized?

21. Are your computer files organized?

22. Is your correspondence caught up?

23. Do you make any of your own clothes?

24. Does your husband ever have to ask for an ironed shirt?

25. ARe your books organized?

26. Do you go through your things regularly for garage sales?

27. Are your windows clean?

28. Do you cook regular meals from basic ingredients?

29. Have you had anyone over for tea in the last month?

30. Do you read at least one good book or learn something new within the year, or learned any new skill?

Guess I shouldn't be working. I haven't completed a quarter of the things on her list.

*****************************************************************************************

Whoever wrote this either lived in the 1950s or must not have small children at home. I am not a SAHM but I do know from teaching Sunday school that toddlers can be destructive no matter how much you try to keep things clean and organized. As long as no blood is spilt and we have the same number of kids at the end of class as we did at the beginning it's been a successful morning in church.

[crazyforkate]

Okay, assuming my roommates are my children (with the amount of picking up after them that I generally do, it's pretty close), here's how I do:

1. Do you have a morning routine in the house? Wake up. Lie in bed as long as humanly possible. Jump into some clothes, brush teeth, brush hair. Consider makeup, decide you "don't have time" for the 100th day in a row. Make some coffee, consider breakfast, decide you "don't have time". Realize you are late for class. Slurp down coffee and run for class, then come back because you have inevitably forgotten something.

2. Are your dishes washed and put away? We tend to put ours in the dish rack and use it again directly from there - there are items in our cabinet that haven't been used in the two years we've lived here.

3. Is your cabinet top clear? But where would we keep the pots and pans?

4. Is your table clear, when not dining, and do you have a centepiece? We dine wherever we feel like it, cover the table in papers and textbooks, and if cans of Rockstar count as a centerpiece then we pretty much always have one.

5. Have you cleaned your cupboards and storage areas and fridge in the last 3 months? Bahahahahaha.

6. Is your porch clean and the entry way cheerful for visitors or people who see it from the road? No, it's hideous, as are most Toronto yards in early spring. Mud and garbage cans and cement. Lovely!

7. Are your carpets clean? We don't have any.

8. Is your floor clean? Maybe if people are coming over. Important people, mind you.

9. Is your living room ready for company? Don't have one!

10. Is your laundry washed, folded, ironed and put away? (Keep in mind, I am not saying you have to do this. I am only listing it in case you think you have time to bring in another income!) Laundry. Oh yeah, that. If my clothes are reasonably clean, I'll wear em again. Laundry's every 2-3 weeks. Coin-op is a hassle.

11. Is your mending and button replacement caught up? Besides the fact that I've kept two buttons from my winter jacket in the pockets for four years, yes.

12. Do you bake bread? (Once again, no one HAS to do it, but if a woman is bored, maybe she should bake her bread. It takes more time. It smells wonderful. It has far greater effects than can be listed here, both emotionally and physically or even involving childhood memory) Well...sometimes I buy bread from the store. That counts, right?

13. Is your bathroom shining clean and does it smell nice? Let's skip to the next question.

14. Does your house smell nice? Yes, the smell of marijuana and bacon is very nice.

15. Have you re-decorated or re-arranged in the last 3 years? (You need not do it, but if you think you need to go to work or take on extra work earning money at home, why not put the time into re-beautifying your house?) Occasionally we change the posters on our bulletin board.

16. Are your beds made? Are your sheets and bedding fresh? Pfft, why make it if you're just going to mess it up in a few more hours?

17. Do you hang your clothes on the line? (You needn't, but it takes more time, and is good for your health and it actually increases the life of your sheets and clothes, as opposed to the dryer) Toronto in winter - not a great idea. Whether it's precipitation or soot or smoke from illicit substances (there are three head shops within a block of my house), those sheets and clothes are getting ruined.

18. Do you grow a garden, or even a tomato in a pot? I think the neighbours might have started a garden, but not the kind you'd approve of.

19. Are your drawers and storage areas organized? In the sense that "clothes go in closet, I guess" and "dishes go in drawers, I guess", sure.

20. Are your photos organized? Photos? Who has physical copies of photos anymore? I have a picture of my dog and that's it.

21. Are your computer files organized? Actually, I'm pretty sure this is the one on the list where I actually am caught up.

22. Is your correspondence caught up? Once again, what correspondence? What decade is this crazy lady living in?

23. Do you make any of your own clothes? Unless you count that time I made a bikini out of tin foil, nope.

24. Does your husband ever have to ask for an ironed shirt? I don't have a husband, or an iron. Double fail.

25. ARe your books organized? They're on shelves. And the floor. Does that count?

26. Do you go through your things regularly for garage sales? No, most of our stuff was scavenged from the sidewalk anyway.

27. Are your windows clean? No.

28. Do you cook regular meals from basic ingredients? If I am sufficiently bored, yes, but generally for special occasions.

29. Have you had anyone over for tea in the last month? Well...beer.

30. Do you read at least one good book or learn something new within the year, or learned any new skill? I'm in college. Call me a commie heathen whore if you like, but I'm definitely learning.

I don't think this blogger would approve of me :(

[idonthaveajname]

Does your husband ever have to ask for an ironed shirt? The fuck? He can't iron it himself? I haven't ironed in years. I work from home so my usual attire is a t-shirt and yoga pants. My husband irons all his own clothes. Washes all his own clothes too. He's not an invalid.

[Cheetah]

My kids are cleaning up their messes right now so they can go on the wii. I just called out, "don't forget the centerpiece!"

"what's a centerpiece?"

"a beautiful arrangement for the dining room table!"

"....k..." ::to her sisters: "we have to make a centerpiece."

"what's a centerpiece?"

Lol I think I'm going to get a centerpiece today and be well on my way to LL success!

I am so not a centerpiece (or sparkling clean... clean enough? yes. Sparkling? Rarely.) kind of mom/wife. My kids and I had this conversation a couple of weeks ago:

"Mom, what's a centerpiece?" "It's something you put in the middle of the dining table... like with a holiday theme like some green shamrocks or a basket of Easter eggs. But I'm not crafty like that... sorry. You guys just didn't get a crafty mom." (eight year old): "That's okay, we got the best mom." (15 year old:) "We got the mom who can still help with math homework in high school. All of my classmates are jealous." me: "good, 'cause that crafty crap just isn't going to happen around here."

[PennySycamore]

If I had a centerpiece on the table, it would only be something more for the cat to get into and mess up.

[Wolfie]

I think that she means "counter top" where she said "cabinet top."