Frozen In Time? - Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar

[luckylassie]

I just read Michelle and Jimbob's story about how they met. Michelle was really young, still a teen when she got married (not that there's anything wrong with getting married young). Is it possible that even though her chronological age is mid-forties, her mental age is still years younger?

[clibbyjo]

Well, her HAIR is frozen in time, so anything is possible!

[Patsy]

It's possible that it's just easier to get that impression because part of the 'keep sweet' culture infantalises women. Doesn't she say something in the book about working on her 'sweet' voice, which is basically just babyish?

[Antigone]

I suppose it is possible. Hubby has a theory that due to a lot of events in my life, I'm still a bit emotionally behind what is normal for my actual age (26) and still have some catching-up/learning to do about my emotional intelligence. I've noticed some people I know seem stuck at a certain plateau in their emotional development- but as far as I know some do move on and some do not. I'm not a psychologist, but being married to one makes me curious about things like this.

and hell yes on the hair, Clibby. Maybe the wardrobe too- based on how kids sometimes stick with one "style" or "look" for awhile (I was goth for 5 years straight, finally bought a pair of blue jeans and Nikes when I started college). I haven't seen anything change on J'chelle other than a slight change in quality of clothing (fugly jumpers to fundie-nice clothing) but I could be wrong.

Patsy, that COULD be something to think about :)

[Beeks]

I once heard that grown women who have little-girl voices were likely sexually abused as children. I guess if you force the voice that's different but I'm not sure what the real theory was so who knows

[dormouse]

I lost most of my 20s to domestic violence, and I've been told by a few people that I act 18, which happens to be the age I was when I met Evil Ex. They say that it's because of the way I dress, the music I listen to, not wanting to buy a house, not wanting children, etc. It's possible, but who cares? 30 is the new 20 !

[lilwriter85]

I think Michelle in a few ways seems to be younger than her age mentally. The way she talks shows it and she acted very childish in the episode in which Dr. Charles Stanley visited. She was jumping up and down because he was coming to the house. I think Michelle is a simpleton who doesn't snap to a lot of things around her.

[GenerationCedarchip]

It's possible that it's just easier to get that impression because part of the 'keep sweet' culture infantalises women. Doesn't she say something in the book about working on her 'sweet' voice, which is basically just babyish?

I think there's something to that. Michelle doesn't seem to be the brightest bulb out there, but fundie culture also tends to reward women who act simple and enthusiastic. Grown women acting like happy little teenage cheerleaders get positive reinforcement from the men in the church whereas women who are smart, serious and perhaps even a bit challenging do not unless it's accompanied by a big smile and a plate of baked goods.

[debrand]

I think there's something to that. Michelle doesn't seem to be the brightest bulb out there, but fundie culture also tends to reward women who act simple and enthusiastic. Grown women acting like happy little teenage cheerleaders get positive reinforcement from the men in the church whereas women who are smart, serious and perhaps even a bit challenging do not unless it's accompanied by a big smile and a plate of baked goods.

I know that I'm in the minority but I think that she is smarter than most people believe. She is uneducated and ignorant but that is by choice. The baby voice and childish mannerisms, I think, has been adopted to hide any intelligence that she has.

JimBob does not strike me as very bright. Perhaps she doesn't want to outshine him.

When I was a teenager, I used to know young women who acted stupid on purpose to attract men. Michelle reminds me of those girls

[PBrooke]

Yes, Michelle definitely has more lurking behind those vacant wide eyes than most people think. I can't think of examples, but she frequently surprises me on the show, dropping words (in the right context!) that ought to be beyond her. She might have spoken toddler-speak for 20 years, and she might not have a college education, but I get a strong impression that somewhere in there is the old Michelle, who might have been more like Jessa, Joy Anna or Johanna. Whereas with JB, I get the impression he's been the same, slightly dopey guy his entire life.

This actually makes me MORE angry, that Michelle would force this life on her bright, vibrant children (especially the drudgery of her daughters' lives) when deep down, she knows how things could be different.

[Effie]

I once heard that grown women who have little-girl voices were likely sexually abused as children. I guess if you force the voice that's different but I'm not sure what the real theory was so who knows

Well, dunno about that. I mean, I was not. When I get sales people on the phone, they ask for my mum or dad. It has happened five times during the last two years. Apparently I have a very childish voice... and I'm 22. I'm still waiting for my voice to "break".

[forever ago]

I'm 19 and look much younger. When I was 17 I got glares whenever I went out with my boyfriend, who was also 17 and looked older. Yeah...

I also read somewhere that Japanese women have to adopt higher pitched voices to sound younger and more innocent. this is exactly what fundie women have to do, make themselves sound like young girls. They look and act childish so they don't appear 'threatening'. It's basically for survival.

Then again, upbringing and isolation would explain immature behavior. The voice, not so much.

[jockosmom]

I'm always struck by how many times Boob and Mullett rehash their dating experience. This is the ONLY dating experience Boob had, correct? And how many boyfriends for Michelle before Boob snatched her up? Not many, I don't think. Anyway, they go over this and over this. This is the only thing they have to look back on and recount, so they have to drag out this story for every person that comes along. They have no frame of reference for anything different than their little love story. Usually, as you grow older, you have experiences (maybe romantic-wise, maybe not) that you learn from and that help you see things from a new perspective. These people don't have much wealth of experience in their lives so they have nothing new to talk about.

(Sorry if this sounds garbled; hard to keep a coherent thought in your head when your stupid office-mates keep stopping in and bothering you with silly things . . .)

[bananacat]

Brain function are very often use-it-or-lose it. When I graduated college and got stuck in a horribly boring soul-draining job, I lost some thinking skills that I had been using only 6 months before. So if you spend 20+ years changing diapers and doing laundry and literally nothing else, it could have a bad impact on your brain. At least preschool teachers have the stimulating job teaching and they have lives and hobbies outside of work. And SAHMs almost always have hobbies and activities. I am worried that Michelle just doesn't get enough stimulation beyond the work of taking care of toddlers. Even though it's hard work, it tends to be repetitive and not really mentally stimulating. She can't even watch crime dramas or play games on the internet. I wonder if she reads books for fun or does crosswords or sudoku. I just don't think she has any hobbies at all.

[luckylassie]

Yeah. I think that Michelle was Jimbob's first and only girlfriend that he ever had (that I know of). His comment about Michelle having "baggage" baffled me a bit. How much baggage could Michelle have had at that age? I always thought that the teen years are when people experiment, try new ideas, and build memories. Maybe Michelle went right to being her dad's little girl to being Jimbob's little girl (in a way). :roll: