Do you know any fundies in real life?

[GenerationCedarchip]

Since I grew up in a fundie church, I still know several fundies who run in Reformed/VF circles. I have a few friends who are into QF, including 1 who now not only homeschools, but runs a local Titus 2 camp for girls. However, I would say that even as extreme as some of the real life fundies I know are, they don't have that hard edge of crazy that some of the bloggers do.

And then there are fundie lites. The church I grew up in wasn't flat out abusive like some talked about here and while it was very strict, they weren't into ATI (there is some crossover now, but for years folks in Reformed/VF/Dominionist circles looked down their noses at the Gothardites). I think that may have contributed to the relatively low number of kids growing up in my church who completely left the faith. There were a few who left all together, but a fair number stayed fundie and the rest of us tended to land in various places along the church spectrum, with quite a few being fundie lite. Between that and the fact that this state is full of fundie lites anyway, I know plenty in that category.

[demgirl]

Sounds like they're not very fundie, if the husband drinks beer. Maybe they want a large family, and don't want to put them through the hell of public school.

Well, like I said -- I'm trying to figure them out. They have some attributes that are very fundie like in nature, but then they have other attributes that are not. I don't think everyone who homeschools is fundie, obviously. But my parents live in an insanely good school district and I don't see any reason to think it would be "hell". OTOH, plenty of people homeschool for reasons that are completely non-religious. But it was the confluence of certain things that pinged my radar -- wife at home, husband at work. Many children in a very short time period. Mission trips. Constantly referencing church and church activities. PLUS the homeschool on top of that. But put against the husband drinking beer and the pants, I don't know.

[browngrl]

I don't know any fundies very well but I have run across a few. The last one was a man who worked in one of the places I worked at. One day he was showing pictures of his new daughter (first girl after many boys). I said something innocuous like "congratulations on your new daughter" and he said "I am just so worried about her" When I asked why he said "I am praying she just doesn't turn out like you". I said "what exactly do you mean by that" and he said "you know - un married, no children, doing a job that should be done by a man, dressing immodestly (was wearing pants!!) and you are doomed to hell because you are Godless" (I'm quoting because I had never been spoken to like this and it just stuck). You can just imagine how well that went over with me. Anyway he finished his residency soon after so I did not have to deal with him for much longer.

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't know any fundies very well but I have run across a few. The last one was a man who worked in one of the places I worked at. One day he was showing pictures of his new daughter (first girl after many boys). I said something innocuous like "congratulations on your new daughter" and he said "I am just so worried about her" When I asked why he said "I am praying she just doesn't turn out like you". I said "what exactly do you mean by that" and he said "you know - un married, no children, doing a job that should be done by a man, dressing immodestly (was wearing pants!!) and you are doomed to hell because you are Godless" (I'm quoting because I had never been spoken to like this and it just stuck). You can just imagine how well that went over with me. Anyway he finished his residency soon after so I did not have to deal with him for much longer.

Holy crap! I don't even know how I would have responded to that. What the heck is wrong with some people? That is not okay to say to anyone, but it's even more out of line in the workplace. Please tell me that he wasn't out to be a doctor. If he let his religious beliefs spill over his coworkers like that I hate to think how he would treat patients that he decided were Godless and hellbound.

[forever ago]

Well, like I said -- I'm trying to figure them out. They have some attributes that are very fundie like in nature, but then they have other attributes that are not. I don't think everyone who homeschools is fundie, obviously. But my parents live in an insanely good school district and I don't see any reason to think it would be "hell". OTOH, plenty of people homeschool for reasons that are completely non-religious. But it was the confluence of certain things that pinged my radar -- wife at home, husband at work. Many children in a very short time period. Mission trips. Constantly referencing church and church activities. PLUS the homeschool on top of that. But put against the husband drinking beer and the pants, I don't know.

They sound like fundie-lites doing it for non-fundie reasons. There's plenty of home-schoolers even in insanely good school districts, anyone can pop out 4 kids in a short amount of time for any number of reasons and still go on mission trips. The three kids are all under the age of 4 so they're likely too young for public school anyway, so Mom stays at home and educates them to give them a leg-up.

I know a woman who used to be fundie-lite-ish and homeschooled her two daughters and did lots of things with her church. She homeschooled her kids until last year, when she just couldn't teach them any more. They're 10 and 8, I believe. And they're crazy smart and far ahead of their peers.

[ladypuglover]

Yes, as I live in the same city as FotF and the Navigators. I personally know at least 75 different familys that are on the same level of fundiness as some of our favorite bloggers.

eta proofreading is my friend

[Bookworm]

Yeah, in my area there are a lot. I don't do errands very often but I still see a mother with many scrubbed and skirted children almost every time I go out. I do know quite a few of them and it kind of kills me sometimes when I read threads here and someone I know is connected to something being discussed - a couple of the families are very well connected in the fundie world. It's like :shhh: I just don't feel comfortable snarking on people I know socially, although there is some snark-worthy material. I also keep wanting to try to talk to some of the girls and tell them to check out FJ, but haven't had a chance lately since I'm not mingling in that crowd much now.

Browngrl, ugh. I can't believe he said that to your face!

[Cassandra]

I have a few fundie-light friends.

I also come from a community with a big ol' (200-300 person) skirt-wearing, KJV only, DisneyWorld workers are queer and will molest your babies, Baptist church. They also run a school.

[browngrl]

Holy crap! I don't even know how I would have responded to that. What the heck is wrong with some people? That is not okay to say to anyone, but it's even more out of line in the workplace. Please tell me that he wasn't out to be a doctor. If he let his religious beliefs spill over his coworkers like that I hate to think how he would treat patients that he decided were Godless and hellbound.

he was doctor but he has gone to his home country to practice (after this conversation I spoke to the program director and it turned out he had had a number of problems with other women - not surprising since over 1/2 of the staff were women - subsequently the program has changed to avoid this sort of problem (all those other female residents are now on staff and in charge so you know they nip this sort of thing in the bud)

[Maggie Mae]

I don't think I know anyone in real life. I know that some acquaintances are "fundie-light," but most people I know don't talk about their religion. We do have a contractor who is Mormon, but after a discussion about "Soul Surfer," I realized he was definitely not a fundamentalist. He said "Mormons would never care if a surfer was wearing a bikini."

I did, however, see a potential fundie at the mall the other day, and wondered if she had a blog. She had a baby in a wrap, a denim skirt, a headcovering (even though it was at least 75 degrees out, which for us is equivalent to a 90 degree day elsewhere) and gave me "fundie vibes."

[nutella addict]

browngrl, that's ridiculous!

Your story did remind me of one guy though. He'd moved from China to Canada and he hung out around the Christian groups on my university campus a lot, and my friend and I found him pretty creepy as he sent my friends really strange emails about how he could meet her in a metro station and stuff, and he would always try to walk the girls places and ask weird questions and show us pictures of his family (and he was quite a few years older than any of us, too, showing us pictures of his parents). But what we REALLY didn't like, was he told two girls that women shouldn't be in university, and they said "Um, WE'RE in university!" and he said "Oh but you're in nursing and education, those are proper womanly professions." Conservative Christians though most of us (not me and my friend, but all the others) were, NOBODY was OK with this statement. I honestly expected steam to come out of people's ears, but it was just gaping jaws and skyrocketing eyebrows. I was half hoping he'd approach me and my friend again at the end of the year, just so we could say we were going off to get our Masters degrees, and so that I could emphasize mine was going to be a Master of SCIENCE. He never said that we were immodest for wearing pants though, and I guess he didn't realize most of the girls were NOT in nursing/education. After a year of him lurking around, we began to suspect he was really just trying to find a traditional wife who'd sit at home popping out babies.

[GoJiRa]

Holy crap! I don't even know how I would have responded to that. What the heck is wrong with some people? That is not okay to say to anyone, but it's even more out of line in the workplace. Please tell me that he wasn't out to be a doctor. If he let his religious beliefs spill over his coworkers like that I hate to think how he would treat patients that he decided were Godless and hellbound.

You would love New York City

[browngrl]

browngrl, that's ridiculous!

I know! I have never been spoken to like this before or after that time.

[Joykins]

Also--it's probably a reflection on where I live (mid-Atlantic) but the "fundies" tend to be fashionably modest. If I see someone skirted out in headcoverings around here, usually they are toting about 3 little boys in yarmulkes and are Orthodox Jewish.

[autumnchild]

Yes. I have an aunt I consider fundie middle. She's a bit farther gone than fundie lite but not quite Duggar fundie. She goes to an ultra conservative church where the females wore dresses even during VBS but she doesn't wear dresses full time and has short hair.

I also have some fundie more distant cousins. Makes family reunions interesting.

[ChunkyBarbie]

I don't know any fundies very well but I have run across a few. The last one was a man who worked in one of the places I worked at. One day he was showing pictures of his new daughter (first girl after many boys). I said something innocuous like "congratulations on your new daughter" and he said "I am just so worried about her" When I asked why he said "I am praying she just doesn't turn out like you". I said "what exactly do you mean by that" and he said "you know - un married, no children, doing a job that should be done by a man, dressing immodestly (was wearing pants!!) and you are doomed to hell because you are Godless" (I'm quoting because I had never been spoken to like this and it just stuck). You can just imagine how well that went over with me. Anyway he finished his residency soon after so I did not have to deal with him for much longer.

What a jack ass! I guess fundies only have to use their precious Victorian manners with each other. I had a fundie assistant 9 years ago who was having financial difficulties and had to work. Her headship was a lazy dumb ass. She told me one day that it was flat out wrong that my Godless hubs and I are well off financially and she and her husband were struggling. She told me we deserved to be poor because my husband isn't Christian and she was walking the path of Christ. I told her she needed to study her bible more and she turned purple. I thought she was going to punch me or spit in my face.

ETA. Forgive any ruffles, I twisted my ankle and fell on my HEAD this morning. :clap:

[GenerationCedarchip]

What a jack ass! I guess fundies only have to use their precious Victorian manners with each other. I had a fundie assistant 9 years ago who was having financial difficulties and had to work. Her headship was a lazy dumb ass. She told me one day that it was flat out wrong that my Godless hubs and I are well off financially and she and her husband were struggling. She told me we deserved to be poor because my husband isn't Christian and she was walking the path of Christ. I told her she needed to study her bible more and she turned purple. I thought she was going to punch me or spit in my face.

ETA. Forgive any ruffles, I twisted my ankle and fell on my HEAD this morning. :clap:

Wow - I don't know what I would do if I had to deal with someone like that at work. That's just obnoxious!

I must have a different bible than the fundies because I don't remember anything about how heathens would be poor while following Christ is the path to riches. Perhaps that's in the Book of Joe Bob*.

Note - Among my non-fundie cousins and I, we cite the Book of Joe Bob for anything crazy that emanates from the pulpit in our old fundie church back home.

[Bookworm89]

yep. Step-sister is one and all her friends are, (even more so then her). I get to be around a lot of them when I attend my nephews and niece birthdays. I am just glad that my s-sister isn't all that fertile or else I would have 10+ nephews and nieces now (not that I wouldn't love them all if that had happened but that is a lot of kids).

[Chrystal-J]

If you count Jehovah Witnesses as fundies, then yes. It's a tightly controlled, rigid group. You're watched very closely and if you go against the "rules" of the JWs, you will be punished by being shunned or hounded by other members. That's part of why I eventually quit. I was being hounded by phone calls, visits, letters and texts. They were saying that I wasn't attending enough meeting and that I should be handing out the JW magazines door-to-door. I finally had to quit by sending a text message because I knew if I tried to tell them in person or over the phone, they would drown me out with excuses as to why I'm wrong and I should stay.

[anniebgood]

My SIL and BIL are fundie lite. She works, in fact has supported them for years. He's 11 years younger than she is and pings my gaydar big time, which is probably part of the problem that he was so strident in his opposition to everything I supported. They moved back to TX and my MIL lives with them in Nederland. MIL is not religious, she was brought up Church of Christ (the no music one) and then was Presbyterian when she married the FIL. Now she's nothing.

MIL did tell the errant spouse that the IL's have toned down their rhetoric because they were losing friends by the bucketful. I think they finally realized that a little goes a long way, even in TX.

My other SIL (husband's other sister) home schooled the first 4 of 8. There were years they couldn't afford the materials so the kids basically taught themselves. Now the youngest ones are in public school (Dad had a stroke and can't object anymore) and ebil college and making their way. They are happy and well adjusted as opposed to their older brothers and sister. SIL has a degree in veterinary science but works at Walmart. She did get welfare, food stamps and WIC though, even though her useless husband was vehemently anti-government which I find astonishing since he gets all the free medical benefits from the VA now.

My brother and his family are Mo. Synod Lutherans who drink and ride Harleys. No sense of disconnect there.

[gingernut]

I know lots of fundie and fundie lites, though I don't have much of any interaction with them anymore. GenerationCedarChip....that is so funny about the book of Joe Bob!!!!!!

[ThisOlGirl]

My stepbrother and his wife got seriously into The Way International. But I think The Way is more full on cult than plain 'ol fundie.

[SlipmeaMikki]

My mom's cousin and her family are pretty fundy. The parents are in their 50s and the kids are adults now. They only had 2 daughters and 2 sons, but it has been interesting to see how they grew up. The sons have totally rebelled. (Like bar fights that are written about in the town newspaper and children out of wedlock rebelled.) The daughters have stayed mostly fundie. The younger daughter is and always has been very sweet. She was never pushy and really enjoys her family. She "only" has two kids and she is a SAHM. I have never seen her in pants.

Now the other daughter has gone off the deep end. She is the total Queen Bee in her household. Her meek husband is the breadwinner while she sits on her butt all day tending to the newest baby. They have 8 kids the last time I heard. The oldest is somewhere around 14 now. He and the other older boys do all of the household chores because the only girl is the second youngest. The poor kid cooks and cleans while she directs. We sometimes wonder what would've happened if the Duggars didn't have the oldest duaghters. I think this would be it!

My mom was a SAHM for a while and when she went back to work, my brother and I were cared for by this cousin. It took me until college to realize that not everyone went to a daycare where they passed out insturments and we sang about Jesus every morning. That was an eye-opener...

[Shoobydoo]

There's a fair number of Mennonites here, but I've never spotted any frumper-type fundies. There's also an Amish settlement fairly close to town.

My aunt who lives about a state and a half over is gradually getting more and more fundylicous. She has the unfortunate tendency to transform into whoever her current husband/boyfriend wants her to be, and her current one is a hardcore Christian biker. Or rather, they used to be bikers until they got into a serious accident that left both of them somewhat disabled. Now she apparently refers to god as her "Daddy" and constantly praises Jesus to convince herself she's not in pain. My Mom could tell you more of a bizarre things she says because she has her friended on Facebook; I do not.

[FlorenceHamilton]

I live in South Carolina. "Nuff said.

The guy I replaced at my office was a super fundy. Married for 9 years, his wife just had her 7th child. they homeschool. Oh, and their first kiss was after their wedding vows! When he was transitioning out and we spoke, he said some pretty offensive things to me about being a divorced woman out working on my own. He told me that he wanted his children protected from the evils of the real world. His comments were directed at my daughters' prom pictures. My daughters both looked lovely and appropriate to me, but very grown up. Their dresses emphasized their cute little shapes. One had a somewhat plunging neckline and the other had a low scoop in the back. Both girls had shoulders exposed. The boys had on tuxedos. One boy had longish hair and the other wasn't caucasian.

(My repdecessor went to the Citadel and had a Confederate flag hung in his office.)

That was my welcome to the south....

My other colleague is making a huge family by adoption and they are also very religious. They are not judgemental, however and I actually like the family very much. They are just really devout in their beliefs and after having 2 natural children, they decided to save the world, one child at a time. If all fundies were like these folks, we would really not need a snark board, they talk the talk and walk the walk.