The Return of Sparkling Adventures - Merge

[miffy]

Anyone here watch Trailer Park Boys? I keep thinking of the episode where Bubbles asserts that "a dope trailer is no place for a kitty," only in my head it's "a Gifted Gypsy is no place for a ratty."

I wonder if they will get 'Racuns' in the Gifted Gypsy? :lol:

[August]

I can't even ... but I'm going to anyway.

In summary "Yes my six month old baby was murdered by his father, but it's made me a much better person!" I wish I could post a picture of baby Elijah. He was an innocent baby. He was murdered. It was not a neutral thing. It was not a personal growth experience for her, his brief life and murder wasn't just what she needed.

No, I really can't. I have to go and break something.

[Blahblah]

What is irking me is that she claims to have started blogging again because Aisha wants to remember this phase of her life. Yet the new post is the first time she's said that she is in almost daily contact with David. So has she been hiding this from the girls? Or has she been editing her blogs so that Aisha is only allowed to "remember" what Lauren chooses for her? Either way she's not being "authentic".

[SiameseIfYouPlease]

I can't even ... but I'm going to anyway.

In summary "Yes my six month old baby was murdered by his father, but it's made me a much better person!" I wish I could post a picture of baby Elijah. He was an innocent baby. He was murdered. It was not a neutral thing. It was not a personal growth experience for her, his brief life and murder wasn't just what she needed.

No, I really can't. I have to go and break something.

That poor little baby. He certainly wasn't supposed to be a learning experience, a way to make his mother a better person by being killed. Murdered by his father. That woman is so selfish, so self centered, so awful. Separating from David (like it was a choice? He was locked up, bitch) has allowed her to pursue her own identity for the first time in 16 years - yeah, good for you, others would take the kids and leave if things were that bad, not wait for him to kill one and use that as a springboard. She is disgusting. And yet all her leg-humpers will be there saying how strong and amazing she is. None of it is OK.

[Just Not Good]

Anyone here watch Trailer Park Boys? I keep thinking of the episode where Bubbles asserts that "a dope trailer is no place for a kitty," only in my head it's "a Gifted Gypsy is no place for a ratty."

YES. Only, Lauren is a million times less brilliant than ANY character... including Cory and Trevor.

[happy atheist]

Wow. That's really fucked up. She's proud of working hard to convince the girls that their father murdering their brother is neutral, not negative. What kind of sociopaths does she want to raise?

[Stephanie66]

How is your father murdering your baby boy NOT negative? How is it just,"It is what it is. (sigh)"

Her.son.was.murdered.by.his.father. She doesn't know why. That is not ever neutral.

[treemom]

I can't even hate read her anymore

[Vex]

Actually, as far as I know, all school-aged children in Australia are entitled to some free dental services. I think a lot of people don't bother because the waiting lists can be quite long and you can only have a limited amount of work done (nothing too complicated), but it's not just for people on a low income.

You're right, I'd totally forgotten about that.

The rat cage is really too small and people are absolutely right to be worried about those rats in the heat. That van is not an appropriate home for them, of course, or the girls. To keep those rats cool in summer they will have to have a small electric fan blowing around the cage and they should keep a spray bottle by the cage and mist them down frequently. They can also do things like putting a bowl of water in there and adding ice cubes, adding plastic ice bricks wrapped in paper towels for them to lie on and so on. The rats will be fine in the cold, they'll snuggle up together and be quite warm.

I wonder if the breeder at Amberdawn knew those babies would be living in a van...

[ladyaudley]

I find it hard to stomach that she describes her own grief and its effects on her with insight and vivid detail (aged five years, white hair, no appetite), but seems oblivious to the fact that her daughters don't all just put it away and view it as neutral just because they don't show the same outward signs as her. To me, the post sea

To say "yes, the girls are occasionally sad about it, but fine. I am better, but still crushed." Does she not see the disparity? Does she not care?

I found it hard to read the entry; her sadness radiates off of it. Off only she'd allow her daughters the same sadness.

[Evilbad]

I don't think she has dealt with her own grief enough to even know how to guide her girls through it. I really wish they would stay near family in one place long enough to just get some outside support. And she's always been caught up in herself first and others second, so I'm not really surprised that she doesn't appear to be giving her kids the guidance they need.

[Koala]

Wow. That's really fucked up. She's proud of working hard to convince the girls that their father murdering their brother is neutral, not negative. What kind of sociopaths does she want to raise?

I just can't....

That woman is crazy (was long before this ever happened) and those little girls should not be in her custody. Neither should the rats for that matter.

About a year ago my husband started researching gerbils for our kids. We got a pair back in Feb. (they don't do well alone). Then in April we bought another pair (all males). Each pair has their own long 20 gallon aquarium with a mesh top reptile lid. We put about 6 inches of bedding in (Carefresh, Aspen, Timothy hay mixed) because they like to make complicated systems of tunnels and sleep "underground". They have wheels, toys, and tons of pvc pipe to assist with their tunneling. They also have to have a steady supply of chewies or the like to keep their teeth sharpened. They all share a 10 gallon play tank that has yet more toys and things to entertain them. My kids put them in the play tank (in pairs) a couple of times a day so they don't get bored.

When we buy bedding I always stop to look at the Dumbo Rats and Fancy Rats...little angels. One of these days a couple will steal my heart and I'll end up bringing them home. But not without a lot of prep. work first. They get pretty big and I would have to research all of their needs and requirements (which it doesn't appear Lauren has done).

The cage is wayyyyy too small (Fancy Rats can grow quite large) and the wheel should preferably not be made of wire that way. Their feet can be harmed while playing on those, so plastic is preferable. I am also concerned about the extreme temps. (particularly in summer) that someone mentioned above thread. I predict the rats won't last long with her and I am also having flashbacks of the poor dog that was poisoned.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Poor little baby Elijah :( There is nothing at all positive about a dead baby. You cant look on the bright side of something like this. A baby was murdered by his own father.

I feel for her other kids :(

[CheeseDeprived]

So essentially she's trying to tell us that her son's death was really just another Sparkling Adventure? :confusion-scratchheadyellow:

And her girls have been "empowered" to view it as neutral... why does that reek of brainwashing and denial?

Seriously... just... :wtf:

[formergothardite]

I can't even hate read her anymore

I know. I'm trying to fathom thinking my child being murdered is "neutral" and I can't. There is something wrong with her. I think she is seriously depressed and in denial.

[happy atheist]

By telling the girls that infanticide is not bad, isn't she telling them that it is both okay to kill babies, and that she doesn't really care if someone kills them?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, I never thought about it that way, but it does. Now they know that if they died their mother will not care and wont think of it as a bad thing.

[DarkAnts]

By telling the girls that infanticide is not bad, isn't she telling them that it is both okay to kill babies, and that she doesn't really care if someone kills them?

There is a difference between death and murder. Death is a natural process. Murder is not natural, it's intent is to hurt others.

[happy atheist]

There is a difference between death and murder. Death is a natural process. Murder is not natural, it's intent is to hurt others.

David murdered Elijah. It was not a natural death. And yet Lauren says this:

My biggest achievement in the past year is in empowering the girls to view Elijah’s death and David’s incarceration as neutral. We do not need to judge it as bad.

and this:

It’s now been one year since I walked away from an open grave that contained the body of my six-month-old son — dead at the hand of his father, my husband.

and this:

I can see that the events of June 2012 were exactly what I needed. So I’m glad I did not judge them as negative, or else I may have cut myself off from the blessings and opportunities that have followed.

[August]

Yeah, I never thought about it that way, but it does. Now they know that if they died their mother will not care and wont think of it as a bad thing.

I doubt that would occurto them. But, it sounds like she's telling them it's not right to feel bad. I don't know how young children grieve, but wouldn't you be reassuring, validate them?

[tuckerphez]

I find it hard to stomach that she describes her own grief and its effects on her with insight and vivid detail (aged five years, white hair, no appetite), but seems oblivious to the fact that her daughters don't all just put it away and view it as neutral just because they don't show the same outward signs as her. To me, the post sea

To say "yes, the girls are occasionally sad about it, but fine. I am better, but still crushed." Does she not see the disparity? Does she not care?

I found it hard to read the entry; her sadness radiates off of it. Off only she'd allow her daughters the same sadness.

THIS.

The death of a sibling, especially at the hands of your father, is traumatic. Those girls need space, time, etc to deal with the death of their brother and have their own feelings about it.

Forcing the idea that Elijah's death is "neutral" robs those girls of the chance to feel anger, sadness, grief and any other emotion that isn't ~*sparkling*~

On that note, did any of her kids ever get to talk to a psychologist, counselor, etc., in the past year?

[DarkAnts]

David murdered Elijah. It was not a natural death. And yet Lauren says this:

and this:

and this:

The girls need to know that it's ok to love their dad. It's also ok to be angry at what he did to their little brother. I do wonder if she is keeping some facts from them. She could tell them that their dad and brother slipped off the bridge. It would make things easier on her in the hear and now. If that's the case then the girls will relive the trauma when they figure out what happened. They will then have to deal with the fact that their mother lied to them. There will be lots of trust issues after that.

[happy atheist]

On that note, did any of her kids ever get to talk to a psychologist, counselor, etc., in the past year?

Shortly after Elijah died, they attended one or two counseling sessions at some place called Rainbow House, or something. It was especially sparkling and awesome because Elijah's middle name was Rainbow. Beyond that there has been no indication of any counseling that I can recall.

[martian]

I doubt that would occurto them. But, it sounds like she's telling them it's not right to feel bad. I don't know how young children grieve, but wouldn't you be reassuring, validate them?

Absolutely, you validate them. With the really little ones, they're still learning to identify and put a name to their feelings, so you have to be honest in describing your own feelings be it angry, sad, or just peevish, and help to describe theirs "You seem frustrated with that puzzle." or "You feel sad that your balloon popped." or "You're not sad. You're fucking pissed that your brother took your toy and smacked you in the head like a little tool." (No, not really. But sometimes I think it. And rephrase. A lot of rephrasing.) It's really important not to misname emotions. It lays screwed up groundwork.

Negative emotions don't go away if they aren't named. They just get acted out in behavior or, I think, get internalized as anxiety or depression. I don't know what Lauren is really saying to the girls in private but, from her postings, she's setting them up for trouble. Wasn't it Aisha she kept (seemingly) cluelessly talking about not wanting to get in the water in the weeks after Elijah was killed? Therapy now or more therapy later, Lauren.

[niagarahauls]

Those poor girls robbed even of the chance to feel or express anger, hurt or "bad feelings" about the murder of their baby brother and resultant loss of their father to the one person in their life they should feel most safe sharing these feelings with.

As if they hadn't lost enough. They can't even be true with their emotions and at such young ages must present a false sparkling facade.