Daddy/daughter dances

[lilwriter85]

I think secular type daddy/daughter dances sponsored by organizations like Girl Scouts, public schools etc are fine , but purity balls are squicky.

[Childless]

My elementary school had a daddy/daughter dance. They also had a mother/son bowling night.

My dad and I went to the dance once. It was fun to get dressed up and everything but it wasn't really my dad's thing. I don't remember if my dad and I danced together at all. I just remember hanging out with my friends and my dad talked to the other dads. (We did other things together that was more of our "style".)

Yeah, this would have ticked me off. How come the daddies and daughters couldn't go bowling? I'd have much rather bowled than gone to some stupid dance as a child. I would have been the one making my dad take me to the mother/son bowling night. :lol:

[mockingbird]

When I was little (maybe about 15 years ago or so) I went to a Daddy-Daughter Dance with my father. I also went to a Mother-Daughter Tea Party with my mom about a year later. I know at least one school in my area also does Mother-Son dances.

I don't see a problem with any of these, though I have a huge issue with Purity Balls. To me, they're no where near the same thing.

We had a mother-daughter tea party through Girl Scouts. My mom was my Girl Scout leader, and I told her I wanted to take someone else because I did all the GS stuff with her (even though she probably planned and paid for it all). :lol: I went with a neighbor who I was/am close to.

I think the secular/non-purity-ball versions are fine and have good intentions. I agree they could be awkward or worse for someone who doesn't have a mother or father in their lives, though.

If my one grandfather had lived closer I would have taken him to the father/daughter dance. He taught me how to swing dance. I really hope he will be alive for my wedding if I ever get married. I doubt my dad will be too into the father-daughter dance but I think my grandfather and I could have a special dance since that has always been our thing.

[Ex 2x2]

Just to clarify, the one my husband and daughter went to was NOT a purity ball. Gross. It was just a little thing at a community center. Not even religious. Apparently my daughter did some mad break dancing at it! That probably isn't allowed at the purity balls!! lol!

[TyleredOne]

When my daughter was in elementary school, they had PTA sponsored Daughter / Daddy dances. Older brothers, uncles, Grandfathers, family friends ~ all were represented with the daughters, no problem, no biggie...lots of little girls dancing, talking and giggling, lots of dads eating cookies, bullshitting, and actually dancing with daughters on their feet. Polaroids taken for posterity. ( Which I have always treasured .) They also had Mother / Son bowling, same idea. If I hadn't had a child attending the school, I'd have never known about them. Purity balls ? That's another situation altogether. That's just creepy insanity.

[Bazile]

Like several others have mentioned, we had Daddy/Daughter dances through Girl Scouts when I was in elementary school in the 90's. We also had a Mother/Daughter tea each year as well. Wasn't a purity thing at all, though I doubt that's something Girl Scouts USA would get behind. I don't remember them being that big of a deal. I think the tickets said church attire (rural NC in a town that in 2013 still has elementary districts whose lines are so gerrymandered that they're basically segregated) as far as dress. Several dad's had more than one "date," and many girls brought an uncle or grandfather. I don't remember a lot of dancing going on, mostly just music with a dj and people hanging out by the punch bowl. We did have a big True Love Waits dinner party when I was in the youth group at my grandma's fundie-lite church, but it was coed and the only parents there were chaperones. That was 100% about purity, and at 13 was frankly a little creepy. I have no problem with my daughter attending something like the former, but the latter is a big no. We can talk about safe sex and waiting until you're ready at home without a youth minister giving a weird speech about God giving you a rose for your future spouse and how wilted and torn up it would be if you let people play with it before marriage including references to pulling it out under the bleachers just to show someone.

[lilwriter85]

Just to clarify, the one my husband and daughter went to was NOT a purity ball. Gross. It was just a little thing at a community center. Not even religious. Apparently my daughter did some mad break dancing at it! That probably isn't allowed at the purity balls!! lol!

I agree, purity balls are gross. I said it efore in a previous post, secular daddy/daughter events are fine. It sounds your daughter and husband had fun.

[tropaka]

I think we had a convo like this last year when there were/are a bunch of fundie/fundie lite churches hosting these type of events, as well as "clean" events around Valentine's Day (the same group that came up with that purity bear commercial was hosting something - day of purity or some such bullshit).

Edited to Add - it was the Liberty Council I was thinking of:

http://www.lc.org/dayofpurity/

Go ahead - take the pledge!

[Green Glass]

To me it sounds sweet as long as it doesn't involve the daughter swearing her "purity" to her father.

[bekkah]

My college for seniors had parent events.

For the girls, it was mother/daughter brunch and the other was father/daughter dance. I didn't go because I had a lot of stuff going on my senior year.

For the guys, it was mom prom. THAT was always hilarious seeing. It was the mom's took their daughter's prom dresses and it was WRONG.

Both of the dances had an open bar to make sure all participants could get through the night without the feeling of embarrassment.

[ThatSnark]

We can talk about safe sex and waiting until you're ready at home without a youth minister giving a weird speech about God giving you a rose for your future spouse and how wilted and torn up it would be if you let people play with it before marriage including references to pulling it out under the bleachers just to show someone.

Holy cats.... pulling out your rose under the bleachers!

[grateful1230]

I just choked so hard the kids came running. Trust me, they don't come running to me for much. I smoked my first cigarette beneath the bleachers. First kiss too

[Lulu]

It kind of freaks me out a little. With my chidlren I have been to Mother's Day morning tea/nights and DH has gone to the Father's Day nights. Mainly enforced interaction between you and your child at the daycare center/school/guides. The children are so proud of their drawing and then they seat you and serve you a biscuit that they've iced and a cup of cordial. I normally tear up at this point :lol:

I am planing on having a special evening out just her and me for my eldest daughter when she starts her period and I'll do the same with my younger daughter when the time comes. I'm not sure what the boy equivilant is?

[duplessis3]

When i did this, i just wore my brownie uniform.

[Seal]

I feel like not too long ago, someone sued over Father/Daughter dances being gender exclusive or discriminatory. I think a great solution would be the option to have a "Family Dance" that would be inclusive of those with less "traditional" family units and would be less date-ish than pairing the opposite-sex children with the parent.

[Rachel333]

My old church does a father-daughter Valentine's Day dance. I don't think they throw the purity message in there. It's almost all really young girls with their dads, but I have a friend in her 20's who still goes with her dad. That does strike me a bit weird, I'll admit.

[Iokaste]

To me officially naming something "daddy-daughter", "mommy-son"-events seems weird. I'm all for parents spending one-on-one time with their children, and if these events can help them do that, then fine.

It just seems like the way these events are planned, that they tend to fall into a lot of traditional gender-role-traps that I don't really like, especially if it's schools-sponsored.

I just hope that there is a balance, so that the dads will also take their daughters out into nature/ride bikes/read books/cook or whatever the dad enjoys doing and that the moms will do likewise with their sons.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I'm not sure how common they are, but the high school I went to has one every year and has since sometime in the 60s. My dad always went with either my sister or I except the year he was going through chemo. And my grandfather went the year that my sister and I were both in high school. Neither of them needed persuading. If anything, my sister and I were persuaded into going =p

[Anny Nym]

To me officially naming something "daddy-daughter", "mommy-son"-events seems weird. I'm all for parents spending one-on-one time with their children, and if these events can help them do that, then fine.

It just seems like the way these events are planned, that they tend to fall into a lot of traditional gender-role-traps that I don't really like, especially if it's schools-sponsored.

I just hope that there is a balance, so that the dads will also take their daughters out into nature/ride bikes/read books/cook or whatever the dad enjoys doing and that the moms will do likewise with their sons.

The same here. I perfectly understand, Daddy-Daughter or Mother-Son events range from simpe innocent family fun time to EXTREMLY CREEPY events like a Purity Ball.

However, the label "Daddy-Daughter dance" would make my boyfriend resist to attend such an event with his 9yr old daughter (I just asked him, he´s still in our backyard, brain-bleaching after I showed him youtube.com/watch?v=4fZyuLtH4X4 )

Also, after all I live in Lower Austria. IF someone would actually announce a "Daddy-Daughter Valentine´s Day Dance" at the local ballroom, the amount of *this* kind of jokes and snarks would simply go through the roof .... :naughty:

[Worldofchances2giveu]

The same here. I perfectly understand, Daddy-Daughter or Mother-Son events range from simpe innocent family fun time to EXTREMLY CREEPY events like a Purity Ball.

However, the label "Daddy-Daughter dance" would make my boyfriend resist to attend such an event with his 9yr old daughter (I just asked him, he´s still in our backyard, brain-bleaching after I showed him youtube.com/watch?v=4fZyuLtH4X4 )

Also, after all I live in Lower Austria. IF someone would actually announce a "Daddy-Daughter Valentine´s Day Dance" at the local ballroom, the amount of *this* kind of jokes and snarks would simply go through the roof .... :naughty:

I have never seen that video before. A lot of those girls are by far to young to understand the meaning of the prayers/commitment she's saying. Then the music just helped take something that really isn't the disturbing and turn it very creepy and 15th century.

Purity balls make no sense to me. As for Daddy/Daughter dances. I think spending time with your daughter by taking her on "dates" is a great idea. The dance is okay for little girls. They get to fell like Cinderella for a night. As for older girls, it begins to feel slightly creepy for me. Especially from what I have heard from friends who attended them back in high school. I never attended one but I kind have wished I had just to have joined a few friends along for their eye rolling/laughing.

One girl actually lost her virginity to one of the other girl's dad there in a a locker room (our local ball is held at a sports arena.) Ironic considering the whole meaning of the dance.

I only knew one girl who went because she wanted it and not because her parents made her.

Then for a quite a few dad's it is just an excuse to do something once and not have to really spend one on one time with the daughter regularly besides dropping her off at school and having small awkward talks here and there.

Also purity rings are a joke for most girls once they hit freshman year of high school. There was a game in my high school (Christian/Private, couldn't imagine if it was public) guys tried to claim as many of the girl's purity rings a possible and between the girl's we wanted to have the craziest places/ways to have helped a guy "lose his purity ring in/at/on" This was everything from a roof to in their parents bed and so on.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I like the idea of a parent having 1:1 time with each child. My husband makes a point of doing a "Daddy-Kid" day with each of our kids each summer, and they really enjoy that. A daddy/daughter dance, though, is about the last activity that they would want to do. I'm sure some people enjoy it in a very innocent way, but dancing as a couple (as opposed to folk dancing, for example) seems weird to me, since it is usually done in a romantic context. I can understand one father/daughter and mother/son dance at a wedding or graduation, but that's about it. In any case, my husband isn't big on dancing (except for folk dancing that resembles slam dancing or a mosh pit), and my daughter is mortified at the idea of either parent ever dancing in the presence of her friends.

[Izzybee]

Yup, my daughter has been to a few Girl Scout dances with her dad. From what I've seen and heard, it mostly involved my daughter being totally embarrassed at my headship doing "gangnam style" dancing with his buddies who have similar aged kids. Totally not purity ball, that's squicky. Also, from what I've heard, some moms came with their kids, as well as brothers, uncles, grandpas and neighbors. A lot of girls I know get taken out to dinner beforehand at their favorite cheap restaurant too, just to make the night fun and special. Since the local elementary school doesn't organize dances, this is the closest thing the littles get to a night out. Girl scouts also has girls only dances where the girls "YMCA" their little hearts out.

[kpmom]

The next town over from me had one recently, just before Valentine's day. Even though it was completely secular, it still kind creeped me out a little only because of the purity ball stuff we discuss here. If I hadn't ever heard about that I'd probably think it was kind of sweet.

The fundies ruin everything!

[Mecca]

I recently saw a woman in her late twenties post about being excited about her "daddy date." :shock: I fully admit to being freaked out by that statement.

[Dollypeeps]

I am planing on having a special evening out just her and me for my eldest daughter when she starts her period and I'll do the same with my younger daughter when the time comes. I'm not sure what the boy equivilant is?

To me that is icky and embarrassing for a tween/teen. It was for me. I just wanted to go hide away forever at that age.