Arndt version of sexy time

[JenniferJuniper]

Well Mama Seven Sisters wears tight pants herself sometimes, so it might not bother them that much.

Well then, I think some FJ matchmaking may be in order.

Which Arndt boy should get the link to their page, or should it be sent to the oldest seven?

TLC would probably love the "Seven Fundie Brides for 7 Awkward Brothers" angle.

[ShadowyOne]

Well Mama Seven Sisters wears tight pants herself sometimes, so it might not bother them that much.

That's right! Is she the one who looks so out of place wearing sexy workout/yoga type gear amidst all of the daughters in frumpers in their pictures?

[Minerva]

Well then, I think some FJ matchmaking may be in order.

Which Arndt boy should get the link to their page, or should it be sent to the oldest seven?

TLC would probably love the "Seven Fundie Brides for 7 Awkward Brothers" angle.

That would be too perfect! They could all live in one giant house and keep playing with toys together and throw stuff on each other in the shower for the rest of their lives, and it wouldn't matter that they're far too sheltered to do anything with themselves because TLC would support them! TV audiences love large groups of childish adults stuck in the same house.

[NerdyHil]

So, after slogging through the wall of text that is this man-child's rambling I think the part the squicked me out the most was how many times he used the word "melt" in regards to super sexy marriage fun. I'm not sure if he was going more for the word "meld" and SOTDRTded it up or what.

[luckylibrarian]

Instead of being like a hunter with a shotgun, firing bullets in every direction -- wounding many but capturing none -- I want to wait for the one and only, and then, like a sniper, fire one well-timed and well-placed bullet. My whole heart. All for one.

This sounds so ugly and violent. If he is wondering why women aren't banging down the doors to throw themselves at him, that's one reason why. I don't think even fundie women would want to be compared to a deer with a bullet in its head. The misogynistic and violent tone in his writing is really disturbing.

He is totally unprepared for marriage if he thinks the perfect woman is going to find him. I hate to see how he reacts when his "perfect bride" picks her nose or gains a few pounds. No woman or man is perfect, and these fundies get so hooked on this ideal that no one will ever be good enough. Reality is going to be tough for this one.

[Abi]

That post has genuinely made me feel a bit ill.

I agree with other posters who have said that the bullet analogy is just wrong.

[JesusFightClub]

God sure as fuck hated SIL. The amount of stab wounds proved that.

It's daft, even for a Christian (which she was, if not a fantastic one) to say God likes you. All that means is you haven't been tested yet. And staying at home doting on ickle Wizzy...well one day the test will come. See how you do then.

:x :x :x

[darkplumaged]

He could offer to save his first fart for his future wife and it wouldn't seem much different to me.(although that would be really, really painful)

:lol:

Totally agree with all who are saying he's expecting this vision of Perfect! Godly! Womanhood! to magically appear before him and adore him for... what? Waiting around for her? Loving Jeebus? Being unusually good at playing with K'nex and stuffed animals? No one but the most sheltered fundie maiden is going to think the Arndts' way of life is admirable.

[ladyamylynn]

:lol:

Totally agree with all who are saying he's expecting this vision of Perfect! Godly! Womanhood! to magically appear before him and adore him for... what? Waiting around for her? Loving Jeebus? Being unusually good at playing with K'nex and stuffed animals? No one but the most sheltered fundie maiden is going to think the Arndts' way of life is admirable.

Yeah, the Arndt boys don't really project the aura of godly manliness and self-sufficiency that most fundie dads look for in their sons-in-law. Not that things usually pan out that way- I can think of quite a few fundie maidens paired off with dweeby man-children, so who knows?

[JesusFightClub]

It's quite sad, really. And then they get pregnant and the MENZ post things like "My brave girl"....

[browngrl]

I can not see how there is any way that these boys won't be disappointed in sex. Their complete lack of experience will almost certainly make the first time they have sex (with an equally inexperienced partner) awkward. The trouble with this is they have built sex up to be some kind of epic - angels will need to be singing and fireworks will need to light up the night. What can live up to that hype? After all that build up how can they just laugh and move on? I think they have set themselves up for failure.

[Patsy]

It's not a choice to abstain if you don't have any option to indulge. I have chosen to keep myself pure by not flying to the moon before I marry my life partner. I do expect your admiration for my self-control.

[nokidsmom]

Yeah, the Arndt boys don't really project the aura of godly manliness and self-sufficiency that most fundie dads look for in their sons-in-law. Not that things usually pan out that way- I can think of quite a few fundie maidens paired off with dweeby man-children, so who knows?

I really wonder if these guys would appeal to any fundie dad who would OK marrying a daughter to one of these guys. On one hand, they can be considered too worldly with a shorts-wearing Mom. On the other, I can see a fundie dad being completely put off with the stuffed animals, sports and tinker toys, deciding these guys are still children. Which they are.

[OddlyAmused]

Just reading "Arndt version of sexy time" made me throw up a little.

This. And then reading the article made it worse. Are there any fundies who'd qualify to marry any of the Arndt boys?

[kiwimusume]

Also, I think that waiting will be a tangible way I can prove to my future girlfriend that I value and respect her.

You want a tangible way to prove to your future girlfriend that you respect her? You can start by treating her like a person and not a helpmeet, possession, incubator or goddamn animal on a hunting trip, and not measuring her worth by the number of people she's dated or fucked.

[Emme]

It's not a choice to abstain if you don't have any option to indulge. I have chosen to keep myself pure by not flying to the moon before I marry my life partner. I do expect your admiration for my self-control.

:clap:

[Miggy]

I couldn't make it through this SOTDRT writing. They really have learnt how to ramble on, haven't they?

I just love anyone who can claim sex is better if you wait until marriage. There is no possible way to compare. I didn't wait. First time was awkward, now it is brilliant. I have no way to compare that to what it would have been like if I had waited until marriage. Comparing notes with friends doesn't really work as we all have slightly different values and definately had different physial experiences. Of course, it is even more loony when someone claims it is better after marriage and they haven't had sex at all.

"Pieces of your heart" really grates for me. I have friends who recently got married. The lady had been married before, had a child and then her husband was killed in a car crash. The bible is quite clear that young widows can and should remarry. To me, based on my understanding, this is a beautiful Christian marriage. I wonder how fundies would cope. I know that Generation 1 fundy men whose wives die usually remarry - you have to keep dem babies coming. Gen 2 have been taught to believe that you can only love one person properly. So does this mean that they would marry again but believe that they will never love the second spouse properly? Would they stay single? I've asked several ex-fundies but none have been able to give me an answer. I've emailed my question (worded very politely and including bible quotes) to several famous fundies but none have responded.

[rene76]

I can totally respect someone who wants to wait until marriage for sex but....how do you know what you want in a spouse without dating? How is dating "giving away pieces of your heart?" Even the Amish date!

[treehugger]

I couldn't make it through this SOTDRT writing. They really have learnt how to ramble on, haven't they?

I just love anyone who can claim sex is better if you wait until marriage. There is no possible way to compare. I didn't wait. First time was awkward, now it is brilliant. I have no way to compare that to what it would have been like if I had waited until marriage. Comparing notes with friends doesn't really work as we all have slightly different values and definately had different physial experiences. Of course, it is even more loony when someone claims it is better after marriage and they haven't had sex at all.

"Pieces of your heart" really grates for me. I have friends who recently got married. The lady had been married before, had a child and then her husband was killed in a car crash. The bible is quite clear that young widows can and should remarry. To me, based on my understanding, this is a beautiful Christian marriage. I wonder how fundies would cope. I know that Generation 1 fundy men whose wives die usually remarry - you have to keep dem babies coming. Gen 2 have been taught to believe that you can only love one person properly. So does this mean that they would marry again but believe that they will never love the second spouse properly? Would they stay single? I've asked several ex-fundies but none have been able to give me an answer. I've emailed my question (worded very politely and including bible quotes) to several famous fundies but none have responded.

This!

And the fundie obsession with sex is really not healthy.

[thoughtful]

They seem so unable to absorb the facts that:

- women are not commodities to be consumed.

- sex is an activity that people do together, not a despoiling experience that happens once and is never OK again.

As sickening as the hunting and eating images are, I think the "re-wrapping the Christmas gifts" shit really destroys their point. If you are disappointed by gifts you've already used, because all you care about is the surprise of Christmas morning, how are you going to feel about them a year, or 10, or 20 down the road? Marriage is a relationship between two people, not one person using the other like a book or bicycle.

And this whole thread now has this song running through my head:

1Ob2iKO7IHk

[SpeakNow]

You want a tangible way to prove to your future girlfriend that you respect her? You can start by treating her like a person and not a helpmeet, possession, incubator or goddamn animal on a hunting trip, and not measuring her worth by the number of people she's dated or fucked.

QFT

[Minerva]

They seem so unable to absorb the facts that:

- women are not commodities to be consumed.

- sex is an activity that people do together, not a despoiling experience that happens once and is never OK again.

As sickening as the hunting and eating images are, I think the "re-wrapping the Christmas gifts" shit really destroys their point. If you are disappointed by gifts you've already used, because all you care about is the surprise of Christmas morning, how are you going to feel about them a year, or 10, or 20 down the road? Marriage is a relationship between two people, not one person using the other like a book or bicycle.

And this whole thread now has this song running through my head:

1Ob2iKO7IHk

This guy just used terrible analogies the entire way through.

[CelticGoddess]

Um just no. Really? Marriages break up because people "act married" before they get married. I don't think so. I know he really believes this but really?

And comparing pre-marital sex to setting off fireworks in your living room. Okay. That's a new one. I have to give him props for that. But, it's still a fail. Honestly, where do these people come up with this shit?

[Inanna]

So I don't really know much about the Arndt family, aside from the obvious "but no really, they're chronologically adults?" bit and I went and poked around at old threads and I still have questions. Questions like:

- Why is there a banana with a message?

- What does that message say? Do I want to know?

- Who got stabbed?! What?

:shock:

ETA:

"Have you ever heard of someone who regretted purity? Have you ever seen someone look back longingly on his or her past, lamenting that he or she waited? I never have."

Uh, actually, yep. I know a few people who have expressed regret that they didn't experience more during their young adult lives because they were held back by archaic religious beliefs or just because they were shy. Or who later wished they'd had more sexual happenings before they promised fidelity to one person. At least five off of the top of my head. Next question?

[JesusFightClub]

I have no answers for you about the banana, except to say "This is fucking mental, innit. And, Freud would have a field day" ;)

The person who got stabbed was my real life sister in law. She was stabbed to death. But weirdly she believed in God and Jesus. I guess God likes the Arndts and didn't like her very much.