Joke taking over my FB feed

[SpeakNow]

I hate the fact that the fundie sexual paradigm is appearing in a joke shared by many of my non-fundie friends. People keep sharing and saying how true it is. Grrrrrr

"One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t fee like it, I just want you to hold me.†I said “WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT?â€

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.†She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?â€

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.†She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.â€

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.†Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?â€

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.†And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?â€

Apparently I won't be having sex tonight either."

[Sprocket]

:?

I don't even have words right now.... But I probably will later.

[clone]

Ugh, gross.

I really despise this kind of "humor". It's so fricking unoriginal and lame. Boo hoo. Go jerk off and shut up.

[Hane]

Ohhhhhhhh, i could just PUKE.

Have these numbnuts never heard of grownup women who pay their own bills?

All my adult life, I have been offended when people assume that the man I'm with is going to pick up the tab for the things I buy. Women are guilty of this $#!+ attitude as well. I once was picking up my glasses at the optician's, and the cashier turned to my then-BF, assuming he was going to hand her his credit card. I said, "No--those are my glasses" and pulled out my wallet. She said, "Well, he's just going to wind up paying for those anyway." "No, he isn't," I said. She was CONFUSED!

In my youth, I had hoped to be a SAHM. When I wound up divorced with a baby to support, I learned how much more power a women can have when she's self-supporting.

I'll STFU now--and I mean no offense to those among us who are not the primary source of financial income in their households.

[Hane]

Ugh, gross.

I really despise this kind of "humor". It's so fricking unoriginal and lame. Boo hoo. Go jerk off and shut up.

What clone said. Times a zillion.

[valsa]

So much wrong with this.

1) A woman is not obligated to fuck anyone she doesn't want to, no matter how heated up the passion gets

2) Any man who wants to sleep with a woman who has told him she doesn't want to is a creep

3) Not all women care about shopping enough to nearly reach "sexual satisfaction" from it

4) Why couldn't she just buy that stuff on her own? Woman have their own jobs nowadays and boyfriends don't own their girlfriend's wages

4) Agreeing to foreplay with someone does not mean agreeing to have sex with them. Agreeing to buy something does mean agreeing to buy something

[Sprocket]

So much wrong with this.

1) A woman is not obligated to fuck anyone she doesn't want to, no matter how heated up the passion gets

2) Any man who wants to sleep with a woman who has told him she doesn't want to is a creep

3) Not all women care about shopping enough to nearly reach "sexual satisfaction" from it

4) Why couldn't she just buy that stuff on her own? Woman have their own jobs nowadays and boyfriends don't own their girlfriend's wages

4) Agreeing to foreplay with someone does not mean agreeing to have sex with them. Agreeing to buy something does mean agreeing to buy something

This. This x infinity.

[CallmeChaCha]

What. the. fuck. Yes, all of us women want to get bought lots of things by jerks who think we're just a piece of ass and who think they can get in our pants just by buying us endless outfits to wear! YES! Oh, it's just a joke? Ooooooh, how funny :roll: asswipes

[ILoveJellybeans]

Ive seen that joke shared a few times, its not funny.

[JesusFightClub]

Women can only hold two thoughts in their minds at any one time "OOOH PRETTY!!!!" and "I want my man just to cuddle me, not have horrid, horrid sex with me!"

Therefore they should be relentlessly mocked by all red-blooded males (who are much more intelligent, of course, as they possess penises) and coerced into sex anyway.

What a funny joke.

[Guest Anonymous]

The comparison between sex and buying things for someone else suggests that sex is something a woman does for a man. The implication is that the woman doesn't enjoy it, doesn't really want to do it, and doesn't particularly benefit from it. It's a selfless gift that a woman is expected to give to a man because they're in a relationship.

So, basically, to anyone who thinks this joke is funny, or hits the mark, or whatever:

Sex. You're doing it wrong.

[Sinister Rouge]

The comparison between sex and buying things for someone else suggests that sex is something a woman does for a man. The implication is that the woman doesn't enjoy it, doesn't really want to do it, and doesn't particularly benefit from it. It's a selfless gift that a woman is expected to give to a man because they're in a relationship.

So, basically, to anyone who thinks this joke is funny, or hits the mark, or whatever:

Sex. You're doing it wrong.

My thoughts exactly. Right after, "ew, that's gross and not funny at all."

[treehugger]

Ohhhhhhhh, i could just PUKE.

Have these numbnuts never heard of grownup women who pay their own bills?

No kidding! For the first year after our marriage I worked my ass off so my husband could start up his own business. The business ended up upside-down, so hubs decided to go back to school for aviation. The second year of our marriage I worked to help put him through school. We now have a baby and I plan on being a SAHM for a while. Do I feel like I owe him anything (ie. like sex whenever he wants)? Hell no. We are both adults. We have both pulled financial weight in our marriage. And we both respect each other as human beings.

There is nothing funny about about this joke.

The comparison between sex and buying things for someone else suggests that sex is something a woman does for a man. The implication is that the woman doesn't enjoy it, doesn't really want to do it, and doesn't particularly benefit from it. It's a selfless gift that a woman is expected to give to a man because they're in a relationship.

So, basically, to anyone who thinks this joke is funny, or hits the mark, or whatever:

Sex. You're doing it wrong.

This.

[slh12280]

I would never date a man who thought this was in any way, shape or form funny.

[sarahbrownie]

The comparison between sex and buying things for someone else suggests that sex is something a woman does for a man. The implication is that the woman doesn't enjoy it, doesn't really want to do it, and doesn't particularly benefit from it. It's a selfless gift that a woman is expected to give to a man because they're in a relationship.

So, basically, to anyone who thinks this joke is funny, or hits the mark, or whatever:

Sex. You're doing it wrong.

I'm stealing this. I had a "friend" post it and I was sputtering because I was so enraged this shit was "liked" so much by people I respect.

[wtfrenchtoast]

The comparison between sex and buying things for someone else suggests that sex is something a woman does for a man. The implication is that the woman doesn't enjoy it, doesn't really want to do it, and doesn't particularly benefit from it. It's a selfless gift that a woman is expected to give to a man because they're in a relationship.

So, basically, to anyone who thinks this joke is funny, or hits the mark, or whatever:

Sex. You're doing it wrong.

Spot on. I hate this idea that women never want to have sex. Like it's some sort of obligation we only put up with to get cuddling and/or shopping trips. First of all, I quite like sex. Done right it should be equally enjoyable for all parties involved. Second, the idea of my boyfriend taking me on a big shopping spree like that makes me very uncomfortable. I didn't even want to let him get dinner last night. I make my own money to buy things I want. I don't need a man for that.

[kiwimusume]

Oh, gross. I guess this IS the place where people hijack pictures of terminally ill or abused kids to get attention, so I shouldn't really be surprised, but still. +1,000,000 to Valsa and Sogba's comments.

[SpeakNow]

Spot on. I hate this idea that women never want to have sex. Like it's some sort of obligation we only put up with to get cuddling and/or shopping trips. First of all, I quite like sex. Done right it should be equally enjoyable for all parties involved. Second, the idea of my boyfriend taking me on a big shopping spree like that makes me very uncomfortable. I didn't even want to let him get dinner last night. I make my own money to buy things I want. I don't need a man for that.

I feel the same way. My boyfriend likes to pay for dinner, but I always try to go Dutch. He usually agrees. I never want to feel like I need a guy to buy me anything. Just makes it feel like there is something seriously wrong with the relationship

[Childless]

Spot on. I hate this idea that women never want to have sex. Like it's some sort of obligation we only put up with to get cuddling and/or shopping trips. First of all, I quite like sex. Done right it should be equally enjoyable for all parties involved. Second, the idea of my boyfriend taking me on a big shopping spree like that makes me very uncomfortable. I didn't even want to let him get dinner last night. I make my own money to buy things I want. I don't need a man for that.

This. I love sex. It's fun and it feels good. Why wouldn't I like it? Also, I make my own money. I didn't start dating my husband or marry him because I needed someone to take care of me or buy me things. I married him because I love him and wanted to be his partner in life. I'm an adult, not a child. I'm perfectly capable of buying my own stuff and taking care of myself. If I wanted a shopping trip, I know where my car keys and credit card are located.

[thetabmeister]

Well, taking the specific words of the joke, she never said, "Yes, I will have sex with you tonight." However, even if she had said it, she reserves the right to change her mind, and the mature, loving, responsible partner will not press her to change her mind nor hold a grudge against her. According to the joke, the man SAID he would buy her that stuff, then he didn't. He is an immature, childish, lying jerk. Also anyone well educated (so exclude fundies here) would know that having intimate relations is not to be compared with purchasing consumer goods. Totally different.

[Olive Plant]

I hate shopping. I like sex. I'm a woman.

Hence, I would be pissed off if my boyfriend wanted to spend the entire day buying outfits for me. I may not want sex every single time he does, but I want it a lot more than I want to go buy jewelry.

This joke is idiotic, but I bet you'd get called a humourless bitch if you said so in certain circles. It's "just a joke." It's "supposed to be funny." Wonderful. Let's reverse it and see how funny it is:

I was getting in bed with my boyfriend, and I said, hey baby, can you give me some satisfaction? I want this, this and this, and I want it now. He started whining about how he was tired and just wanted to go to sleep. So I made a little plan. The next day, I told him I was going to shop for lobster and cook him a special dinner. But after he came home early, all excited about it, I handed him a TV dinner and told him he could microwave it. "Actually, I don't spend money on men who don't please me, and I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep," I said. "I'm being passive-aggressive because you didn't do what I wanted last night, and I'd like this relationship to be about equating sexual favors with monetary value, and demanding what you want at all costs."

[Hane]

I hate shopping. I like sex. I'm a woman.

Hence, I would be pissed off if my boyfriend wanted to spend the entire day buying outfits for me. I may not want sex every single time he does, but I want it a lot more than I want to go buy jewelry.

This joke is idiotic, but I bet you'd get called a humourless bitch if you said so in certain circles. It's "just a joke." It's "supposed to be funny." Wonderful. Let's reverse it and see how funny it is:

I was getting in bed with my boyfriend, and I said, hey baby, can you give me some satisfaction? I want this, this and this, and I want it now. He started whining about how he was tired and just wanted to go to sleep. So I made a little plan. The next day, I told him I was going to shop for lobster and cook him a special dinner. But after he came home early, all excited about it, I handed him a TV dinner and told him he could microwave it. "Actually, I don't spend money on men who don't please me, and I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep," I said. "I'm being passive-aggressive because you didn't do what I wanted last night, and I'd like this relationship to be about equating sexual favors with monetary value, and demanding what you want at all costs."

I heart you, Olive Plant, and want to have your cyber-children.

FJers, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE copy-paste Olive Plant's joke to use as a response should the original ever taint your FB wall. It would be a public service.

[RosyDaisy]

WTH? I agree with valsa's response 100%.

[B5SnowDog]

Oh, gross. I guess this IS the place where people hijack pictures of terminally ill or abused kids to get attention, so I shouldn't really be surprised, but still. +1,000,000 to Valsa and Sogba's comments.

What is the place, this forum?

[GiggleOfGirls]

What is the place, this forum?

Facebook maybe?

I'm a woman who likes sex a lot more than I like shopping too. This "joke" is not funny.