Bates' Family Thanksgiving

[moodygirl86]

I just watched my first episode of the Bates today, and it struck me that the parents seem to really like children and take an interest in their personalities, whereas it seems like the Duggar parents like the attention that comes from the children, but not necessarily the children themselves. Although Michelle does seem to really like the children until they can talk. I think the children of the two families reflect that.

Lol SSU, that's what my brother said about his MIL, who's frankly a bit of a harridan! Their son was born in August and is obviously still at the cute baby stage. His sister is seven and a typical outspoken kid, which she gets from both parents. Apparently MIL has said some downright nasty things in front of her, stuff you just don't say to a child; although she was nice as pie when Niece was a baby. Now Nephew is her chosen one! J said to me darkly under his breath, "wait until he's old enough to answer back!"

[Deleted07]

Alyssa is starting to look a bit like Jackie Onassis, especially on side/profile angles.

I think the Bates are a bit different to other families because Gil & Kelly love each other & they both went to quite good colleges, unlike the supermarket shelf stacker & the child bride.

I agree that they seem to care for eachother and their children. But I disagree that they are anymore intelligent that Jim-Bob and Michelle simply because of College. Considering both Gil or Kelly after the fact of their oldest daughters birth were 'horrified' because they didn't look into the Biblical name they chose properly and were too cheap to change it, was just bizarre. And many other crazy things they have said and done that don't seem to add up, or make much sense! Which I can't think of off the top of my head, but do remember being talked about.

I think there is a certain amount of say 'dumbness' for lack of a better word, probably naivety is a better word? (and I'm not saying that to be snide) that comes with swallowing the crap Gothard and other major fundie churches spoon out, for them to accept it hook, line and sinker! Its like a circuit missing in their brains or something that can't diagnose the bullshit and see the hypocrisy; lacking basic critical thinking skills and problem solving. Its really quite strange, but that's certainly another topic! hehe.

[moodygirl86]

I agree that they seem to care for eachother and their children. But I disagree that they are anymore intelligent that Jim-Bob and Michelle simply because of College. Considering both Gil or Kelly after the fact of their oldest daughters birth were 'horrified' because they didn't look into the Biblical name they chose properly and were too cheap to change it, was just bizarre. And many other crazy things they have said and done that don't seem to add up, or make much sense! Which I can't think of off the top of my head, but do remember being talked about.

I think there is a certain amount of say 'dumbness' for lack of a better word, probably naivety is a better word? (and I'm not saying that to be snide) that comes with swallowing the crap Gothard and other major fundie churches spoon out, for them to accept it hook, line and sinker! Its like a circuit missing in their brains or something that can't diagnose the bullshit and see the hypocrisy; lacking basic critical thinking skills and problem solving. Its really quite strange, but that's certainly another topic! hehe.

That's because they're taught that any questions or doubts they may have is just Satan trying to pull them away from their "righteous" path.

[miffy]

I don't think its 'dumbness' that gets people caught up in cults & such. But it seems like some people do have a weakness or susceptibility when it comes to being sucked into it. (I have nothing to back this up, its just a theory) They also get you when you are at a low point in your life.

One of my great uncles joined The Family (the Australian one, Julian Assange's step dad was in it too) after a losing his teenage son. He is an intelligent person & was a tertiary educated professional. Lots of the other people in the cult were professionals too. He fell for it hook, line & sinker.

[snickerz]

I am now doubting my own prediction of a Christmastime engagement between Erin & Nate Paine. Nate is in GOthard's IMI (International Ministerial Institute). He's completed 2.5 of 3 years required in contract, and "graduates" in May. Gothard prohibits courting/engagement/marriage while enrolled.

no courtships, engagements, or marriages are allowed during a student's enrollment in IMI. While these events may spring from friendships formed at IMI, they cannot and will not occur while one is a student here. We desire that all students focus on God and their relationship with Him during this time of training.

So if Nate's "the one" then they're most likely still in the "fellowship" stage and the courting will begin in earnest in May when Nate "graduates." Nate wants to get into prison ministry a la pa Keller, and has lately been conducting Gothard seminars in prisons - nothing like a captive audience.

Of course, there could always be a different Bates/Paine matchup going on as well.

Edited to add this from the IMI website:

Our Web site and brochures are purposely vague, because we cannot communicate the heart of IMI in print. Students need to know what they will experience at IMI, and that is best shared through personal interaction.

Interesting....

[Katydid]

Edited to add this from the IMI website:

Interesting....

If that's not a giant red flag I don't know what is. I would never allow my child to attend somewhere that didn't state it's mission in writing, along with curricula, et. al.

[terranova]

If that's not a giant red flag I don't know what is. I would never allow my child to attend somewhere that didn't state it's mission in writing, along with curricula, et. al.

So much this. You may as well send your kid off to Jim Jones with a flask of Koolaid.

[FloraDoraDolly]

So much this. You may as well send your kid off to Jim Jones with a flask of Koolaid.

Most of these homeschooling parents are already control freaks, it's a wonder any of them send their kids at all.

[TheLurkingFrumper]

The best part of this post for me? The commenter whose 19 year old daughter "got away", or as the commenter says on her own blog, " 'jumped ship,' as the Pearl's[sic] say." If she's been training up her children Pearl-style I can only rejoice that the 19 year old escaped.

Officially de-lurking for this . . .

So, I started following the blog of the mother whose daughter "jumped ship" and she posted about the circumstances a couple days ago. I may or may not have goaded her into it . . . :whistle:

raisinggodlydaughters-kristy.blogspot.com/2012/12/about-my-daughter-that-left.html

[snickerz]

Officially de-lurking for this . . .

So, I started following the blog of the mother whose daughter "jumped ship" and she posted about the circumstances a couple days ago. I may or may not have goaded her into it . . . :whistle:

raisinggodlydaughters-kristy.blogspot.com/2012/12/about-my-daughter-that-left.html

Wow, with a mother like that, who needs enemies?

[TheLurkingFrumper]

Here is the daughter's entry about it on tumbler: crazygirlrilke.tumblr.com/post/37392351039/ive-been-away-for-awhile-let-me-explain

[Patsy]

Wow, with a mother like that, who needs enemies?

Yet another teen mother who uses her "humility" about her "sinful past" to brag about how great she is now. WWho was it who said her adult son's decisions weren't a reflection on her, because she was doing it right with her younger kids? (Older kid was in jail, iirc.)

Read her first post, it's one of those lists of "20 things about me" and there are a few "I used to swear! LOL! Thank you Jesus!" and about as many "I am a super dooper good Christian now! smugsmugsmug".

[TheLurkingFrumper]

I liked the part where she accusses her daughter of showing the step-father her breasts . . . but not on purpose! So, he accidentally repeatedly saw her breasts? I'm interpreting this to mean that her daughter was wearing shirts that gave her cleavage. It's interesting, because Kristy has been married to the step-father since her daughter was 5 or 6. He raised her, I don't know what 19 year-old would lust after her step-father in those circumstances. Or what kind of step-father would lust after his step-daughter in those circumstances. I think mom was jealous of her daughter's cleavage.

[veron1que]

I just feel that the I was a troubled teen, but then I found god, is the fundie way of justifying their judgement of their kids. Instead of being realistic about growing up and talking about the consequences of certain choices, they tell their children and 'godly' friends & family, that they were a sinner but they have repented. They then proceed to set absurd standards of modesty and discipline for their children, and then their only solution for a rebellious child is exile. I don't think her teenage daughter never did anything wrong or wasn't acting out, but her mother was the adult in the situation, and clearly it was poorly handled.

I cannot believe this woman had the audacity to write

On top of other things such as showing my husband (her step-father) her breasts over and over again... not on purpose, but refusing to cover up and stop doing this...

It sounds like the daughter was wearing low-cut tops, I think there is a better was to say that she wasn't adhering to certain standards of modesty, rather than wording it like her daughter is some sort of sexual fiend attempting to seduce her husband by flashing him.

Edit: sorry for the repeat of ideas

[lilith]

I just feel that the I was a troubled teen, but then I found god, is the fundie way of justifying their judgement of their kids. Instead of being realistic about growing up and talking about the consequences of certain choices, they tell their children and 'godly' friends & family, that they were a sinner but they have repented. They then proceed to set absurd standards of modesty and discipline for their children, and then their only solution for a rebellious child is exile. I don't think her teenage daughter never did anything wrong or wasn't acting out, but her mother was the adult in the situation, and clearly it was poorly handled.

I cannot believe this woman had the audacity to write

It sounds like the daughter was wearing low-cut tops, I think there is a better was to say that she wasn't adhering to certain standards of modesty, rather than wording it like her daughter is some sort of sexual fiend attempting to seduce her husband by flashing him.

Edit: sorry for the repeat of ideas

It sounds to me like she kept catching her husband looking, but instead of looking out for her daughter she decided to blame her instead and get her out of the way.

[Patsy]

I believe lying can be genetic. It can be a learned trait yes but in Skye's case, I say it's genetic--not from me but from her biological father. I was pregnant with her when I was 16--too stupid to really think about the consequences of my future. Thus I married a liar and a thief. He was good at both. I, however was honest as the day is long.

:roll:

raisinggodlydaughters-kristy.blogspot.com.au/2010/01/i-lied-because.html

[veron1que]

It sounds to me like she kept catching her husband looking, but instead of looking out for her daughter she decided to blame her instead and get her out of the way.

I hope not, though that's certainly within the realm of possibilities. Poor girl :/

I also love that she doesn't claim ownership of her daughter, citing that other people influenced her into being a lying defiant child. Doesn't she realize that as this girl's mother she had the potential to be a positive influence in spite of the negative. She's a liar herself.

[TheLurkingFrumper]

Have you ever seen the puppy dog look on a sixteen year old girls face when she doesn't understand why someone she cared about lied to her? It was probably almost as pitiful as her mom's face who gave up her childhood to raise her baby.

Umm, I like how she admits to getting pregnant ON PURPOSE at 16 on her blog, but then laments how she had to "give up her childhood to raise her baby." Her daughter was PLANNED. She chose to be a teenage mom, it was not an accident or forced upon her, yet she blames her daughter for how hard it was. :roll:

[guidedbybobafett]

I believe lying can be genetic. It can be a learned trait yes but in Skye's case, I say it's genetic--not from me but from her biological father. I was pregnant with her when I was 16--too stupid to really think about the consequences of my future. Thus I married a liar and a thief. He was good at both. I, however was honest as the day is long.

UGHHHHH what kind of attitude is this to have about your child? "She's just naturally a liar! Looks like I don't have to take any responsibility ever and can also throw this in her face whenever I choose"

This woman is a real disgusting piece of work.

[moodygirl86]

UGHHHHH what kind of attitude is this to have about your child? "She's just naturally a liar! Looks like I don't have to take any responsibility ever and can also throw this in her face whenever I choose"

This woman is a real disgusting piece of work.

It's that whole "original sin" bullshit. The same excuse people like the Pearls use for beating the crap out of babies.

[veron1que]

I wonder if much of the rejection of her daughter comes from her husband. I know he's been in the girl's life since she was young, but that doesn't me he treated her the same as his bio kids. It's quite possible he viewed her a baggage that came with his wife, and so this woman resented her daughter as the one thing standing between her and her new perfect life with her hubby and new kids.

[moodygirl86]

I wonder if much of the rejection of her daughter comes from her husband. I know he's been in the girl's life since she was young, but that doesn't me he treated her the same as his bio kids. It's quite possible he viewed her a baggage that came with his wife, and so this woman resented her daughter as the one thing standing between her and her new perfect life with her hubby and new kids.

Yeah, the stepfamily can be a complicated thing. I had one, but got off quite lightly. Our bio father took off when I was two and my brother was just a baby, so we don't really remember him (although our two older bros were pretty pissed! They didn't want to see him after that). Anyway, I was 13 heading for 14 by the time my mother got married again, so we were all old enough to appreciate that she had a right to be happy with a new partner, not to mention that they were a bit old to be having any kids of their own. Our stepfather hadn't really had any serious relationships before and no kids, because he'd wanted to enjoy his youth. And he was still a bit of a punk rocker right up until his death in 2008, so he was definitely more of a mate than a father figure. If anything, I got on better with him than I did Mum in some ways! When I got into trouble at school for piercing my lip and dyeing my hair green, Mum kind of rolled her eyes and sighed, "Oh Moodygirl, I told you...". G just shook his head, rolled a joint and said "well I did worse than that at your age, so I've got no room to talk. Here, let me play you a record called Never Mind the Bollocks, by a 70s band called the Sex Pistols! THAT'S proper punk, not like your Blink 41 crap or whatever you listen to." So yeah, our family was quite fortunate, all things considered, but I do feel bad for those kids who don't have such great parents.

[marmalade]

I have a lot to say about the Batees, et. al.:

I posted a post regarding the election promoting opinions not conforming to their POV and I think I was banned, but never made another post. BUT I could see all posts until a few days ago. Maybe all banned peeps got swept away along with the blog.

I can't be the only one who sees the sparkly ring on Michael's finger! Before that post, she wore a plain gold band. If she'd just turned 21 like Jana Duggar, and speculation raged, the weight loss (at least in the face...is there a pic full body?) leads me to think there is someone..

Alyssa's a blonde now, ligghter than I was at 5 and I was a natural. She got lifted from a pretty dark shade of brown . Bless her heart.

Poor "Yuck colors" Tori. It's obvious to whom Michael's torch was passed. I guess the "pretty" ones get the perks. And if you're 23 and still at home, we'll send you to Weight Watchers and

[SisiL78]

I wonder if much of the rejection of her daughter comes from her husband. I know he's been in the girl's life since she was young, but that doesn't me he treated her the same as his bio kids. It's quite possible he viewed her a baggage that came with his wife, and so this woman resented her daughter as the one thing standing between her and her new perfect life with her hubby and new kids.

I think that the mother is just a POS. In this entry she talks about not giving the syrup to the oldest (11) because it was too expensive to give her a full dose. So she just had to soldier through two weeks of being sick because 10 dollars was too much to blow on her getting better. Now,I don't take much stock in this elderberry syrup working, but it could be that it does work (some people swear by it, I suspect its similar to honey in that it has some anti-biotic qualities). Anyhoo, just the idea that you THINK it works and will give it to the younger children because they need a smaller dose, but deny it to an older child because you're too cheap makes one sound like a pretty sh*tty mother. My mom was a single mom, and we had no money. But, if I needed medicine she would spare no expense. Geez, as much as I resent my mom I love her ever so much more after reading fundy mommy blogs.

http://raisinggodlydaughters-kristy.blo ... rup-how-to DOT html

[Black Aliss]

UGHHHHH what kind of attitude is this to have about your child? "She's just naturally a liar! Looks like I don't have to take any responsibility ever and can also throw this in her face whenever I choose"

I call bullshit on her having always been honest. Was she really honest with her parents about being sexually active when she was 15? I don't think so! I find it hard to believe her parents even knew and approved of her then boyfriend.

The photographs of her daughter (see tag "the life of a teenage mom") from back when everything ws still sweetness and light ("Skye is a perfect example of God's majesty.") show a young girl with features decidedly more "ethnic" than those of her mother and half siblings. In other words, she looks like her bio-dad, a constant reminder to Kristy of the bad choices she made when she was Skye's age. It's a rare teenage girl who doesn't indulge in that most appropriate developmental step known to some of us as "fouling the nest". How convenient to simply blame everything you don't like about your kid's behavior on her bio-dad. Whether Skye left or was tossed out is irrelevant. She certainly was rejected.

I hope Skye has the good sense to do a Razing Ruth and stay away from her toxic family of origin.