Fundies and sex

[homeschoolmomma1]

I was talking to a friend of mine who is Fundie (I use friend loosly)

She was talking about sex and how her husband and her have to have sex so they can have more children (it is pleasing to the Lord etc)

Anyway, I asked her point blank if she even liked to do it so much and she became blank faced and said 'of course' Don't you?

And I said sometimes I say no to my husband. Well, you would have thought a grew another head with the face she made.

She said I was sinning because I didn't submit to my husband more.

Is this a new trend to start telling people they are sinners because I don't open my legs for my husband every day.

Not to be personal, but our sex life is not bad... her's seems to be

[ladyamylynn]

I know a couple who are definitely not what I would consider Fundamentalists, but are evangelical Christians. They attend a "Vineyard" church, and are of the "Hipster Christian" persuasion. (We are in the Pacific NW, so think Mars Hill-type church.) Anyway, the wife, who did NOT grow up even vaguely religious, apparently has been taught by her church that the ONE key to a happy marriage is to never, ever say "No." Ever. This is what she promotes to all of her friends as the secret of their happy (6-year) marriage. Well, they just had their first child a month ago. I'll be fascinated to see if she still espouses that philosophy now. :roll:

[doggie]

Me a good marriage has the woman enjoying sex. otherwise it's not much different then paying for it if is only for hubby.

[Emme]

I'm pretty sure in Judaism, the wife should enjoy sex... or it's not a mitzvah.

But I'm a little fuzzy on the rules.

[JeanneD]

This is not a new trend, and has made for some ridiculously awkward sermons. Apparently a husband 'needs' to know his needs will be met in order to remain a good, god-fearing man. If a woman says no even once, he's officially excused of any infidelity. Sick? sure. But new? Nope.

[klf7412]

I probably would have made the same face.. lol! Not because I think it is a sin, but because I can't figure out who would say no to sex... 8-)

[RosyDaisy]

Good sex means both partners enjoy it. It's kind of hard to enjoy it when you know your SO isn't really into it or feels like it's a "duty".

[DarkAnts]

Its always the women's fault. She sins if she opens her legs before marriage. She sins if she refuses to do it after marriage. Do men ever sin (without it being the fault of the women) in fundie land?

[Bredonny]

My husband has a terrible cold. I asked if he felt well enough to....you know...the other night and he said no, he was too miserable. So in fundieland, is that a sin or what??? Only for the wife? Would I be the sinner for wanting to get laid? And no, it was not for procreational purposes, merely recreational.

[JeanneD]

So in fundieland, is that a sin or what??? Only for the wife? Would I be the sinner for wanting to get laid? And no, it was not for procreational purposes, merely recreational.

Yes, yes you are indeed the one who has sinned. What grievous thing did you do to weaken your husband ? What terrible things have you done to have such 'unnatural' desires? And recreational use of the genitals is verboten !

[DarkAnts]

My husband has a terrible cold. I asked if he felt well enough to....you know...the other night and he said no, he was too miserable. So in fundieland, is that a sin or what??? Only for the wife? Would I be the sinner for wanting to get laid? And no, it was not for procreational purposes, merely recreational.

It is a sin if you did not dress up in your naughty nurse outfit and nurse him back to health with a hot toddy.

[quaterofaquiver]

Question. When they are about to umm have sweet fellowship is there any lovey dovey stuff or is it just like honey I love God so much I want to procreate with the one he gave me? Also do they ever have sex for fun if they know they can't get pregnant eg like straight after menstruation or when already knocked up

[debrand]

We talked about this on the old forum so it isn't new. Apparently, saying no to your husband for any reason is considered a sin. Worse, you have to be happy about being forced to say yes or your still sinning. I've written that I went through a fundie stage and it almost destroyed my happy marriage. Until I read that I was obligated to have sex with my husband, we had a very healthy sex life. I have a naturally high libido and I am not usually the one to beg off because of tiredness. However, once I felt like I had to have sex and fake enjoyment, I found myself growing resentful and angry.

Fundies base their beliefs on a verse in Corinthians that states that the husband and wife own one another's body.

Warning. The owner of this site visited us on the old forum. She was polite and sweet but as soon as we asked hard questions, she ran like hell. If she returns, she still won't answer questions but will claim that her many children need her(I don't doubt that is true, by the way)

makinghome.blogspot.com/2008/09/sex-what-if-you-just-dont-want-to.html

When you're 85, I don't think you'll ever look back and say, "Wow, I wish we hadn't have connected THAT time. That sure did stink to kiss and hang out nekkid together. That sure was awful to reconnect and refuel in the midst of our busy lives." But I'd bet many a widow DOES look back and wonder why she ever turned that precious man down. Even when he was imperfect (which is ALWAYS). So, don't turn him down. That's a big step, but a GREAT one

This is the kind of thinking that almost broke up my marriage. Occasionally turning your husband down just because your tired or just don't want sex shouldn't make you feel guilty when you are 85.

The writer is intelligent and much more sex positive than other Christian writers but she still seems to believe that the woman should never turn the husband down for sex.

[Deleted07]

We talked about this on the old forum so it isn't new. Apparently, saying no to your husband for any reason is considered a sin. Worse, you have to be happy about being forced to say yes or your still sinning. I've written that I went through a fundie stage and it almost destroyed my happy marriage. Until I read that I was obligated to have sex with my husband, we had a very healthy sex life. I have a naturally high libido and I am not usually the one to beg off because of tiredness. However, once I felt like I had to have sex and fake enjoyment, I found myself growing resentful and angry.

Fundies base their beliefs on a verse in Corinthians that states that the husband and wife own one another's body.

Warning. The owner of this site visited us on the old forum. She was polite and sweet but as soon as we asked hard questions, she ran like hell. If she returns, she still won't answer questions but will claim that her many children need her(I don't doubt that is true, by the way)

makinghome.blogspot.com/2008/09/sex-what-if-you-just-dont-want-to.html

This is the kind of thinking that almost broke up my marriage. Occasionally turning your husband down just because your tired or just don't want sex shouldn't make you feel guilty when you are 85.

The writer is intelligent and much more sex positive than other Christian writers but she still seems to believe that the woman should never turn the husband down for sex.

Dang, if I get to 85 and the only thing I have second guesses about is turning a man down for sexy times, I will quickly realize that, heck, I had a damn good life to not be thinking of any other form of regret, guilt etc. :roll:

[rock_girl]

My husband has a terrible cold. I asked if he felt well enough to....you know...the other night and he said no, he was too miserable. So in fundieland, is that a sin or what??? Only for the wife? Would I be the sinner for wanting to get laid? And no, it was not for procreational purposes, merely recreational.

I'm pretty sure the sin is that you tried to initiate the act. Women aren't supposed to enjoy or want sex, they're to endure it when ordered to do so. :naughty: :naughty: :naughty:

[thekate]

It is a sin if you did not dress up in your naughty nurse outfit and nurse him back to health with a hot toddy.

Or a hot teddy.

[Deleted03]

This is not a new trend, and has made for some ridiculously awkward sermons. Apparently a husband 'needs' to know his needs will be met in order to remain a good, god-fearing man. If a woman says no even once, he's officially excused of any infidelity. Sick? sure. But new? Nope.

And that's why God gave him two hands! :lol: