What Is Up With This Blogger?

[debrand]

I was following the links to bloggers from Ladies Against Feminism and found this one

strengthdignityandasmile.blogspot.com/

Have we discussed her? In her few posts, she sounds depressed. She writes about being betrayed but never, as far as I can tell, writes who betrayed her. Does anyone know her backstory?

One thing that I notice in my own heart is the need to justify myself. I hear the lies and I instantly want to jump on top of it and bring justice! I hate deceit, but sometimes my desire to rid the world of deceit becomes obsessive and I feel frustrated when my attempts fail. When I feel like the scape goat in a situation, I bristle and fight it. When others seek to taint or even ruin my reputation, I fight like a maniac to try and *fix* it all.

But you know, I would rather someone ruin my reputation and make me the scape goat, then make someone else. I don't like seeing my friends or brothers and sisters in the Lord suffer... so if it happening to me, means that it doesn't happen to them, I will bear that burden and it is selfish of me to despise being hurt.

It is an attitude of selfishness rising up inside of me that says "I don't deserve this". Instead of fighting it because of how I feel, I need to fight it because the recognition that the deceit on the villains part will destroy them and bring them to total ruin. Instead of acting on a selfish motive, I need to act on a selfless motive... an act that is driven by a love for the Lord and His people--Not a love of myself.

Which is why reputations don't matter to me. Gossip, slander, hatred, envy, lying, deceit, anger and every other thing that seems to be targeted at the core of my being, all don't scare me anymore. It does not matter. What matters is that Jesus is Lord and His way is perfect and more than worth fighting for.

My heart is broken at times. I feel betrayed and hated--but so did Jesus Christ. Only He didn't deserve it because He was perfect, and I am hopelessly flawed and deserving of death. But He has chosen me and bestowed His righteousness on me and I.am.free. (Galatians 5:1) I don't need anything else. Being addicted to other peoples' praise is a dangerous thing and one that will certainly let us down. Friends don't matter. Having people like you doesn't matter. Respect, devotion, loyalty and support aren't things that are going to save you. You're not going to die if people who claim the name of our Savior, then turn around and spew venom from the same mouth they proclaim blessings. All that matters in this life is that lost souls see the work of salvation that God has wrought in your own heart.

I feel so overwhelmed with grief at times. A lot of these blog posts are written from a time where I was going through a painstaking trial and this post is no exception. I've laid so much on the line and it haunts me everyday. So why does it haunt me? Because I had a picture in my mind of how life among Christians should operate and when it didn't happen that way, I felt hopeless

[browngrl]

I just read a bunch of her posts. Something/someone has hurt this woman and she is depressed IMO. It is pretty sad stuff. I wonder what happened.

[hoipolloi]

A comment from her mother is telling:

When we suffer at the hands of other self-proclaimed believers, and it is because of their sin, and they refuse to repent or even acknowledge their own sin, then we have to at least consider why they are unable to confess and deal with their own sin.

As are these comments from one of her posts from earlier this year:

I think that as young women, we are prone to feelings of superiority, more than others. We glory in our feminine "works" and our Proverbs 31-ness--we think that our (seemingly) "spotless lives" coupled with our exemplary "homemaking skillz" somehow make us prime marriage material, as opposed to that new convert who is just learning about submission and her irreplaceable role in her home. The young woman whose body is marred by piercings or tattoos. We stand afar off, gazing with our mouths gaping, wondering if she is really saved or if it is a put on, all because we think ourselves so much better and above, because we have not "lived like that"!

The question we need to ask ourselves is why. Why do we want to be good homemakers? Why do we want to be submissive women? Why do we want to pursue being wives and mothers, over six figure incomes? Why do we want to be feminine women? Is it because it is all we know to do? Is our motive that we simply want to follow the proper steps so that we can be married one day?