Raising 7 kids is HARD ya'll!

[Koala]

So somebody pass LL the chocolate (and spike that shit w/ some birth control). Oh and while you're at it, raise your daughters with her in mind, cause she hella needs a babysitter! :roll:

I whispered it to a friend on Sunday and she and her family have thrown me some rope this week. (Her daughters baby-sat for me and while I was gone, they reorganized my refrigerator and put chocolate chips by my bed. Can we all just agree to raise our daughters up to be THAT kind of baby-sitter?)

Because we're all raising our daughters to be babysitters.

You know, I think it's really great when women are honest about the realities of parenthood. But you know what's crap? It's crap when you purposefully have/adopt 7 children and then complain ad nauseam about how hard your life is, and how you're drowning, and can someone please send you a free babysitter and some chocolate. I bet you anything she will be pregnant again in less than a year.

[slickcat79]

I'm surprised she didn't just have her older boys fetch her the chocolate while not allowing them to have any. Because all the treats in the house are for LL, and children are only there to serve their parents don'tcha know?

[lexiloumarie]

She drives me up a wall. I hope her kids don't read that blog when they're older, because all they'd see is her bitching about how hard it is to deal with them. Even back when her oldest two were babies.

I'm hoping that by naming him Finn, its a sign that he's the last of the kids. That'd be too easy though. Especially now that they have a twelve or fifteen seater van.

[Deleted03]

I was reading her post and all I could think about was: 1- you seem to have money, hire some help (at least to clean the house, maybe even to make food) 2- take steps to wait a bit before getting pregnant again.

but she won't do anything like that of course.

[grovelina]

The first comment raised a question for me...

here are a lot of days I feel like I’m drowning. Homeschooling 5 kids under 9, husband works 11 hour days, no family around to help. So many of my friends are in the same position and can’t help. I feel awful even asking anyone for help because my parents often remind me that I chose this job. We “chose†to have kids so close together, to move thousands of miles away from family, to homeschool, etc. As if, in choosing this life (or more like, being open to God’s will for our family), that we don’t have the right to ask for or need help. I’d better not act overwhelmed or crabby with 5 kids at the grocery store or the checker will ask why we keep having kids. If they misbehave in church the little old ladies whisper and point, they don’t offer help. I look forward to the mailman delivering a package, or a neighbor waving hello, sometimes I don’t leave the house for days on end. It’s too hard.

Do you have the right to ask for help when you are struggling with your choices? I know that I feel that this sort of life places an unfair burden on the women living in patriarchy. But can't they come up with a solution to make their lives more bearable? Work parties, playdates, some sort of shared burden amongst themselves.

[lilah]

I really want to feel sorry for her. I do.

But seriously she needs to stop having kids and stop adotping kids and focus on caring, feeding and hell educating the blessings she already has (the homeschooling posts are so trainwrecky, her kids are not getting a solid education)

One of the saddest parts of the quiverfull movement is that let's face it not everyone is cut out to have a large group of kids, and of course it's very hard when you have a lot of littles under the age of 10 and no teenage slaves to pawn all the work off, like the Duggars and other older families. And most quiverfull families make a big show of editing out the hard, ugly stuff so that newer families think they are failing because they are struggling with big families. Anna T was smart to quit having kids when she realize how overhwelimg 2 kids were and she'd probably need to be hosptialized if she had a huge family.

[valsa]

The first comment raised a question for me...

Do you have the right to ask for help when you are struggling with your choices? I know that I feel that this sort of life places an unfair burden on the women living in patriarchy. But can't they come up with a solution to make their lives more bearable? Work parties, playdates, some sort of shared burden amongst themselves.

I don't feel sorry for her because she chooses to struggle. One big relief would be to not homeschool- sending the older kids to school and just having the younger kids at home would make it more managable to take them places.

But LL will never do that, or anything else that will make her life easier, because I think she enjoys being a martyr. If her life were easier, she wouldn't have all those people patting her on the back about what a Godly sacrifice she's making and how holier-than-everyone-else she is.

[slickcat79]

LL has been in over her head with parenting since her twins were born 10 years ago. She was asking for help then, and laughing it off when her poor planning inconvenienced everyone else. She doesn't want someone to help her cope with her choices, she wants someone to enable them. If she thinks raising 7 kids is hard, raising 8, 9, or 10 will only be harder and they don't show any signs of stopping. Anyone who's enough of a soft touch to volunteer to help them will never escape.

[grovelina]

You all raise a lot of good points about how her struggles are a direct result of her choices. It just seems like while the life she chose isn't going to ever be easy, it could be easier. Lot's of stay-at-home parents and home-schoolers have created co-ops and pooled resources. But if she did that, she would also have to help instead of just getting free baby-sitting. And she could no longer play the martyr card.

[Black Aliss]

I wonder if it isn't a passive-aggressive move to try and get her half-sisters, or her step-mom, or their grandparents to come lend a hand. Might be a bit of jealousy there over how Darth and Noah have plenty of help from the family.

[shesinsane]

I don't feel sorry for her because she chooses to struggle. One big relief would be to not homeschool- sending the older kids to school and just having the younger kids at home would make it more managable to take them places.But LL will never do that, or anything else that will make her life easier, because I think she enjoys being a martyr. If her life were easier, she wouldn't have all those people patting her on the back about what a Godly sacrifice she's making and how holier-than-everyone-else she is.

Exactly. Can't turn down the offer of free education whilst complaining about how hard it is to home school.

[formergothardite]

LL thrives on being a mommy martyr, she isn't going to change because she actually likes it.

[mpheels]

I used to babysit a lot when I was a teenager through my early 20's. I had a lot a parents thank my mom for raising me to be such a responsible, helpful person. Never once did they thank her for teaching me to be a good babysitter.

[lexiloumarie]

I wonder if it isn't a passive-aggressive move to try and get her half-sisters, or her step-mom, or their grandparents to come lend a hand. Might be a bit of jealousy there over how Darth and Noah have plenty of help from the family.

I think the half sisters finally went home, and she's bitching about it subtly.

[Austin]

Well, the cruel truth is that if you can't handle the kids you have, you and your headship should probably stop having more. Booza-hooza, LL. You and your husband have made your bed, and presumably he's always been the working outside the home, so who did you think was going to take care of these kids (not that he'd likely take care of them if he was home)?

There's no shame in asking for help occasionally, but overall, you jumped into this with both feet and eyes wide open. Deal.

[Guest Anonymous]

Well, the cruel truth is that if you can't handle the kids you have, you and your headship should probably stop having more. Booza-hooza, LL. You and your husband have made your bed, and presumably he's always been the working outside the home, so who did you think was going to take care of these kids (not that he'd likely take care of them if he was home)?

There's no shame in asking for help occasionally, but overall, you jumped into this with both feet and eyes wide open. Deal.

I think a lot of them are waiting for the day they become like the Duggars and have housefull of teens to start taking over.

[TMS]

Who is LL? From the title, I thought this was going to be about Zsu (7 kids).

[emmiedahl]

Well, the cruel truth is that if you can't handle the kids you have, you and your headship should probably stop having more. Booza-hooza, LL. You and your husband have made your bed, and presumably he's always been the working outside the home, so who did you think was going to take care of these kids (not that he'd likely take care of them if he was home)?

There's no shame in asking for help occasionally, but overall, you jumped into this with both feet and eyes wide open. Deal.

It's not like these were accidental pregnancies. She planned for and wanted a large family. Big fucking surprise that it sucks sometimes.

Does LL read here? LL, stop having kids and start enjoying the ones you have. You know who hates your household more than you do? Your children. And they had no choice *and* I bet you rarely or never arrange for them to have days off from the chaos. They are trapped in the house and deprived of friendship just like you are.

If it sucks, send a few of them to school. They get time away, you get time away, and there is no way they could get a worse education than the "sit silently in a chair or mom will smack the shit out of you" bullshit you call training.

[MrsKay]

I need an ID on LL, too. My brain is fried - running around after two boys and worrying about the teenage daughter who is pissed at me is hard, y'all!

[hoipolloi]

LL is LoraLynn who blogs at vitafamiliae.com. We've discussed her at least several times but it looks like the website hasn't been added to our reference list yet. She is the oldest child of Daddy Sanders and apparently from a first marriage that is never talked about or acknowledged. Her younger half-siblings include Noah and a passel of teenaged sisters who seem to do a lot of child care for LL.

Yes, LL & Mr. LL - don't have any more kids if it's so hard to take care of them. Love & raise the ones you have to be good people. Be responsible adults - and that does not mean expecting your siblings or your own kids to raise the children you chose to have.

[Emme]

LL is LoraLynn who blogs at vitafamiliae.com. We've discussed her at least several times but it looks like the website hasn't been added to our reference list yet. She is the oldest child of Daddy Sanders and apparently from a first marriage that is never talked about or acknowledged. Her younger half-siblings include Noah and a passel of teenaged sisters who seem to do a lot of child care for LL.

Yes, LL & Mr. LL - don't have any more kids if it's so hard to take care of them. Love & raise the ones you have to be good people. Be responsible adults - and that does not mean expecting your siblings or your own kids to raise the children you chose to have.

Ohhh I did not know she was related to the Sanders fam. That changes my perspective on her a lot.....

[lexiloumarie]

Her husband also works at home, and helps her a lot during the day. They're the edge between fundie-lite and fundie to me. Yes they play some pop music, but they do little different from the Sanders.

[Austin]

Her husband also works at home, and helps her a lot during the day. They're the edge between fundie-lite and fundie to me. Yes they play some pop music, but they do little different from the Sanders.

Oh, when she said he works 11-hour days, I assumed she meant away from home.

[lexiloumarie]

Oh, when she said he works 11-hour days, I assumed she meant away from home.

It appears he has to travel to whoever he's working for once every so many weeks. Otherwise, nope he's there with her in his office.

vitafamiliae.com/did-canada-invade/

[desertvixen]

Lot's of stay-at-home parents and home-schoolers have created co-ops and pooled resources. But if she did that, she would also have to help instead of just getting free baby-sitting. And she could no longer play the martyr card.

Ding! That would require her to be useful, and she wouldn't be able to get away with the BS she currently pulls.