Raising 7 kids is HARD ya'll!

[CrazySister]

This is our memoir for our kids. We picture them at 30 and try to write the stories and thoughts they might want to know. We write the Now Stories for their Future Selves. And we humbly share them with you.

What a shitty memoir you're giving them!

Andrew has been out of town this week (it’s safe to say it because he’ll be home by the time the creepy people read this) and I was scared to death to let him go. Because drowning alone is a lot scarier.

I think it's safe to say yes, she does in fact read here. Hi LL!

[gilora]

The first comment raised a question for me...

Do you have the right to ask for help when you are struggling with your choices? I know that I feel that this sort of life places an unfair burden on the women living in patriarchy. But can't they come up with a solution to make their lives more bearable? Work parties, playdates, some sort of shared burden amongst themselves.

SHE can ask for help to deal with the consequences of her choices because she's all godly and shit. Those who need help due to poor choices or circumstances are just lazy slobs sucking at the government teat and should get off their asses and get jobs! :evil:

[dawn9476]

Raising your daughters to be a 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, etc. parent for your kids makes you a horrible, horrible parent.

[LilMissMetaphor]

What a shitty memoir you're giving them!

Yeah. I might write in my private journal that I felt like I was drowning, but I certainly wouldn't publish it online for the world to see that that's how I felt about raising my kids. And then proudly hand it to them when they are old enough. Here, Mommy wrote about how stressful it was to raise all you guys! Aren't you grateful?

[Mommy22alyns]

So somebody pass LL the chocolate (and spike that shit w/ some birth control). Oh and while you're at it, raise your daughters with her in mind, cause she hella needs a babysitter! :roll:

Because we're all raising our daughters to be babysitters.

You know, I think it's really great when women are honest about the realities of parenthood. But you know what's crap? It's crap when you purposefully have/adopt 7 children and then complain ad nauseam about how hard your life is, and how you're drowning, and can someone please send you a free babysitter and some chocolate. I bet you anything she will be pregnant again in less than a year.

Howwwwww did I know this was about LL before I even opened the thread? :roll: I agree with you 100%.

[Didi]

She is the only blogger y'all talk about that I can't dislike. I LOVE her blog and can't find anything I disagree with her on.

I think it is equally valid to want a large family AND say it's really hard. :)

And she is the most mainstream blogger I see y'all talk about... like I wouldn't have guessed she is a "fundy" just a christian :)

[Hane]

She is the only blogger y'all talk about that I can't dislike. I LOVE her blog and can't find anything I disagree with her on.

I think it is equally valid to want a large family AND say it's really hard. :)

And she is the most mainstream blogger I see y'all talk about... like I wouldn't have guessed she is a "fundy" just a christian :)

Presented for your approval: This is how we do sit time

Blecch..

[Koala]

I LOVE her blog and can't find anything I disagree with her on.

Here, see if this helps:

http://www.vitafamiliae.com/this-is-how-we-do-it-sit-time/

[Koala]

Presented for your approval: This is how we do sit time

Blecch..

Great minds and all that...

Good night, we wrote almost identical posts.

[Hane]

Hey, Koala! Post-jinx!

[Didi]

I don't disagree with her on that in principle, but I probably would play it out differently :) But I do remember that one now, and y'all didn't like the way she made her adopted baby sleep in a crib instead of her bed, right? (the way she worded it about training her or something?)

[Witsec7]

I also made sure that my “implement of correction†was slightly visible in my bag.

[formergothardite]

Didn't she talk about how her newly adopted child who would panic and vomit in a carseat was just rebellious? Or some shit like that. I can't stand her. I don't see anything likable about her.

[valsa]

y'all didn't like the way she made her adopted baby sleep in a crib instead of her bed, right?

Though that was an issue as well, I didn't like that LL made a big deal about how the little girl not sleeping with her instead of the crib was an issue of establishing boundaries. Because if one of the first nights you spend with your 11 month old, soon-to-be-adopted child (who is about to lose the only culture and language she's ever known and has already lost the only family she had) is spent being a bitch about creating boundaries- your priorities are fucked up.

Not to mention I know at least a half dozen adoptive families who would have given their left arm to have a child who actually wanted to be loved and cuddled and sleep with them.

[LilMissMetaphor]

She is the only blogger y'all talk about that I can't dislike. I LOVE her blog and can't find anything I disagree with her on.

I think it is equally valid to want a large family AND say it's really hard. :)

And she is the most mainstream blogger I see y'all talk about... like I wouldn't have guessed she is a "fundy" just a christian :)

http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/7239/L ... tafamiliae

Here is a classic (if I may call it such, given that I started it) thread about LL from the old board, in which another poster not only tried to argue that she wasn't a fundy, but that she couldn't possibly be racist and unaware of it.

[Koala]

I don't disagree with her on that in principle, but I probably would play it out differently :) But I do remember that one now, and y'all didn't like the way she made her adopted baby sleep in a crib instead of her bed, right? (the way she worded it about training her or something?)

She hits her kids and then snaps pictures while they cry and the best you can say is " I don't disagree with her on that in principle, but I probably would play it out differently"?

LL:

Remember when you are doing sit time that this isn’t about discipline or punishment. This is a time of training. A “tool of correction†will be necessary in order to train, but keep it foremost in your mind that you are training your children.

LL:

Keep your tone even and if you feel yourself losing it, say, “We’ll try again tomorrow. Thank you for working with me.â€

So essentially she hits them and then thanks them for "working" with her? Surely you see how that's abusive???

She goes on:

Now, I usually start this training at around 18 months of age, but because of bed rest and such, we’re a bit behind with Ellen. She’s been exposed to sitting still before at my parent’s house and during church, but she’s never been “formally trained.†So she didn’t know what she was in for. Which is why she cheerfully said, “Cheese!†when I took this picture.

Picture of baby sitting in a chair w/ a slightly confused look on her face.

The first time Ellen made a peep, I looked her in the eye and said quietly, “hush.â€

When she spoke up again, I said softly, “Mama said hush†and corrected her, very gently.

Picture of same baby with a very sad frown on her face because her evil mother has just "corrected her gently", which in LL

language means she hit her with the "tool of correction". But she hit her gently, so that's okay right? (excuse me while my head explodes)

After she hit her baby (and snapped a pic of her crying), you'll be happy to know LL was very generous to "suffer" her crying:

I don’t correct the noise she makes crying. Not at first, anyway. Once I know she’s clear on what is expected, I might have to train her to “cry quietly.†(It can be done, by the way.) But for now, I will suffer her noise.

So her children are "trained" to "cry quietly" when she hits them. I can only suppose this is accomplished by hitting them again.

More on hitting her kids (because she's a bitch that way):

The first time we took the boys into church with us, I actually faked them out. I sat them in chairs and even pulled the timer out of my backpack and showed it to them. I also made sure that my “implement of correction†was slightly visible in my bag. They knew I meant business.

If you are training to take them to church, don’t be afraid to exit the room with them if they are out of line. If they don’t think mommy and daddy will take them out and “train them,†they won’t feel compelled to obey.

Because little miss sunshine has more kids than she can handle and then starts hitting them (at least by the age of 18 months) to teach them self control.

Don't ask me why, but for some reason I don't think it's the kids that need to be taught self control. The 30 something year old woman that's hitting them though? She could probably stand to learn about self control among other things.

[formergothardite]

Wonder if Didi will come back and address what she thinks of Koala's post.....

I don't see how anyone can read that post and not be horrified. Unless you thinking hitting small children with objects because they act like small children is just fine and dandy.

[hoipolloi]

Wonder if Didi will come back and address what she thinks of Koala's post.....

I don't see how anyone can read that post and not be horrified. Unless you thinking hitting small children with objects because they act like small children is just fine and dandy.

QFT. Wish I knew how to quote two separate comments at a time, but Koala puts it well: an out-of-control 30-year-old woman "training" a small child to be in control.

Re: Didi. Hopefully she's left before messing up the carpets here at FJ.

[LurkerOverThePond]

How old is LL? I wonder how many blessings more we can still wait to come to their fucked up household.

[Emme]

She hits her kids and then snaps pictures while they cry and the best you can say is " I don't disagree with her on that in principle, but I probably would play it out differently"?

LL:

LL:

So essentially she hits them and then thanks them for "working" with her? Surely you see how that's abusive???

She goes on:

Picture of baby sitting in a chair w/ a slightly confused look on her face.

Picture of same baby with a very sad frown on her face because her evil mother has just "corrected her gently", which in LL

language means she hit her with the "tool of correction". But she hit her gently, so that's okay right? (excuse me while my head explodes)

After she hit her baby (and snapped a pic of her crying), you'll be happy to know LL was very generous to "suffer" her crying:

So her children are "trained" to "cry quietly" when she hits them. I can only suppose this is accomplished by hitting them again.

More on hitting her kids (because she's a bitch that way):

Because little miss sunshine has more kids than she can handle and then starts hitting them (at least by the age of 18 months) to teach them self control.

Don't ask me why, but for some reason I don't think it's the kids that need to be taught self control. The 30 something year old woman that's hitting them though? She could probably stand to learn about self control among other things.

Annnnnd thank you for illuminating why I need to remove her from my google reader ASAP. I rarely have time to read all the blogs to which I subscribe, so some of her posts must have slipped past me. NOT ok. NOT OK AT ALL!

Koala, where did you find those posts? I'm trying to find them so I can read comments on them and whatnot!

[Didi]

I am not a carpet crapper, I am just someone who has a differing opinion sometimes. :-p

I normally wouldn't reply because I don't like to debate on here - I really think FJ SHOULD be a place where people can discuss varying opinions instead of a place where if you differ from the status quo you get attacked, but I want to give Kaola the respect that they deserve by at least replying to their well thought out post.

I plan to have quiet time/blanket time with my kids, but do not plan to use corporal punishment in my blanket training. I will spank my kids at times, and I know y'all think that is horrible and unethical and irresponsible etc etc etc, so PLEASE don't start yet another debate on it - I won't participate - I don't care if you never spank you child. I am grateful you have convictions and that you stand by them. I don't have the same convictions.

But, blanket training it not one of those times where I feel it would be beneficial. Part of my reason for that though is that I don't attend a church where the children have to sit through the sermon, so I don't NEED my kids to be able to sit quietly every week. I just think it is helpful to have my kids learn how to sit and play quietly, so I will try to have times during our day/week where this is encouraged and enforced. (I would probably just keep putting my child back and encouraging them to be quiet etc) I would give my child a book or small toy or something though. :)

I can see why from that post you would think she is sadistic or something - putting the pics of her kiddo up after correcting her probably wasn't the kindest move, but I don't think it makes her a bad mom or a bad person. But, that's because I don't think swatting her kids in the first place was wrong. :)

[G G Gunhold]

I plan to have quiet time/blanket time with my kids, but do not plan to use corporal punishment in my blanket training. I will spank my kids at times, and I know y'all think that is horrible and unethical and irresponsible etc etc etc, so PLEASE don't start yet another debate on it - I won't participate - I don't care if you never spank you child. I am grateful you have convictions and that you stand by them. I don't have the same convictions.

But, blanket training it not one of those times where I feel it would be beneficial. Part of my reason for that though is that I don't attend a church where the children have to sit through the sermon, so I don't NEED my kids to be able to sit quietly every week. I just think it is helpful to have my kids learn how to sit and play quietly, so I will try to have times during our day/week where this is encouraged and enforced. (I would probably just keep putting my child back and encouraging them to be quiet etc) I would give my child a book or small toy or something though. :)

I can see why from that post you would think she is sadistic or something - putting the pics of her kiddo up after correcting her probably wasn't the kindest move, but I don't think it makes her a bad mom or a bad person. But, that's because I don't think swatting her kids in the first place was wrong. :)

I'm with you on letting differences lie EXCEPT when it comes to hitting children AT ALL. That's not like "oh, you like oranges and I like apples." You're hitting a human being who is completely dependent upon you and has an innate desire to please you and be loved by you. How do you feel about your children swatting YOU? Or each other? How is it that you, as the much larger and smarter adult, with all the resources of Teh Internet, cannot come up with a solution that doesn't resort to violence/intimidation?

Also, my parents did spank us (very rarely, I may've been spanked ten times max in my life). It made me lose respect for them and question their authority. But they NEVER spanked us for not sitting quietly or for church or anything. We were able to sit through Mass (45-90 minutes) quietly. We were not given treats or books or allowed to color or talk to each other. As toddlers, we were allowed to move about the pew/occasionally walk around the church with a parent. Did we occasionally get bored? Yes. Did we occasionally start fighting? WIthout a doubt. Do we all have ADHD? Yep! But my parents dealt with it by moving between children, and by having specific and infrequent circumstances under which we were expected to exert this level of self-control (and slowing increasing the expectations as was age appropriate). We weren't perfect at it, but we were good enough at it that other parishioners would comment. We may've been antsy hair twirlers and toe tappers and nail biters. But there was no "look" that let us know we were going to get smacked or "instrument of correction" and there was no hitting because religion was about love and patience and community and finding our better selves and thinking of others.

[Austin]

I am not a carpet crapper, I am just someone who has a differing opinion sometimes. :-p

I normally wouldn't reply because I don't like to debate on here - I really think FJ SHOULD be a place where people can discuss varying opinions instead of a place where if you differ from the status quo you get attacked, but I want to give Kaola the respect that they deserve by at least replying to their well thought out post.

I plan to have quiet time/blanket time with my kids, but do not plan to use corporal punishment in my blanket training. I will spank my kids at times, and I know y'all think that is horrible and unethical and irresponsible etc etc etc, so PLEASE don't start yet another debate on it - I won't participate - I don't care if you never spank you child. I am grateful you have convictions and that you stand by them. I don't have the same convictions.

But, blanket training it not one of those times where I feel it would be beneficial. Part of my reason for that though is that I don't attend a church where the children have to sit through the sermon, so I don't NEED my kids to be able to sit quietly every week. I just think it is helpful to have my kids learn how to sit and play quietly, so I will try to have times during our day/week where this is encouraged and enforced. (I would probably just keep putting my child back and encouraging them to be quiet etc) I would give my child a book or small toy or something though. :)

I can see why from that post you would think she is sadistic or something - putting the pics of her kiddo up after correcting her probably wasn't the kindest move, but I don't think it makes her a bad mom or a bad person. But, that's because I don't think swatting her kids in the first place was wrong. :)

Didi, are you or were you involved in Sovereign Grace Ministries?

[frumper-rump]

Having been been "trained" or "corrected" (i.e. "hit" or "beaten") with a belt as a child, this part made me particularly sick at my stomach. This lady disgusts me!

[Morton Fan]

I am not a carpet crapper, I am just someone who has a differing opinion sometimes. :-p

I normally wouldn't reply because I don't like to debate on here - I really think FJ SHOULD be a place where people can discuss varying opinions instead of a place where if you differ from the status quo you get attacked, but I want to give Kaola the respect that they deserve by at least replying to their well thought out post.

I plan to have quiet time/blanket time with my kids, but do not plan to use corporal punishment in my blanket training. I will spank my kids at times, and I know y'all think that is horrible and unethical and irresponsible etc etc etc, so PLEASE don't start yet another debate on it - I won't participate - I don't care if you never spank you child. I am grateful you have convictions and that you stand by them. I don't have the same convictions.

But, blanket training it not one of those times where I feel it would be beneficial. Part of my reason for that though is that I don't attend a church where the children have to sit through the sermon, so I don't NEED my kids to be able to sit quietly every week. I just think it is helpful to have my kids learn how to sit and play quietly, so I will try to have times during our day/week where this is encouraged and enforced. (I would probably just keep putting my child back and encouraging them to be quiet etc) I would give my child a book or small toy or something though. :)

I can see why from that post you would think she is sadistic or something - putting the pics of her kiddo up after correcting her probably wasn't the kindest move, but I don't think it makes her a bad mom or a bad person. But, that's because I don't think swatting her kids in the first place was wrong. :)

Didi, I would be interested to know what about her blog you "love." In addition, you say that she is "most mainstream blogger I see y'all talk about." What (to you) makes her more mainstream than the others? To me, though she dresses less 'modestly' than lots of fundies, other than the fact that she went to college, her beliefs are about as fundie as they come.