Abigail & Mr. Jesus are getting all kissy face

[singsingsing]

abigails-alcove.blogspot.com

I don't even know what to say about her latest two posts, except that the insanity continues. Half that time I couldn't even follow what she was trying to say. Her husband couldn't romance her properly, so she had to turn to Mr. Jesus, but Mr. Jesus was not romancing her husband properly. And she and her husband don't have a good sex life because they had sex before they were married and enjoyed it. But women can never enjoy premarital sex, which is basically the same as rape.

Uh . . .

She admits to sobbing everywhere, even running up to her childrens' room and sobbing on their floor (?!) because (I think) she wasn't getting enough romance from her husband and I guess "Mr. Jesus" couldn't make up for it.

:?

[desertvixen]

That was...special.

From the marriage part II one:

(Much later, we were visiting my Dad's college and I noticed the anti-rape signs all over campus. It was like "I wasn't sure how she was feeling, so I asked!" Rape is everywhere in College, so we train men --always Ask before Sex, because otherwise You Are A Rapist. But the reality is that Sex is NEVER good for girls outside of marriage. Emotionally it is not safe, so physically for us, it is not going to feel good. So the truth that those posters should have said on this Methodist College Campus is "Don't sleep with someone who isn't wearing your wedding ring on their finger.")

To the bolded - What the fuck?

Once you get married, however, it's hard to turn off that line of thinking. Our culture is so messed up about sex, it's hard to suddenly flip and say Okay, now Sex is fine. For me it was "Am I a slut for wanting my husband when he's tired?" and I think for him it it was "Am I allowed to kiss her passionately while she's standing there fuming about the unwashed laundry with circles under her eyes and a fresh c-section scar from bearing the last fruit of our marriage on her stomach?"

Agree that our culture has messed up ideas about sex, but hers are MORE messed up. For her question - how would that make her a slut (going by the usual definition of the word)? For his question - yes, you absolutely should. Then you should offer to do the unwashed laundry while she relaxes. Ironically, this will probably be result in MORE SEX.

[Bredonny]

And I was sitting next to him, feeling those personal soul kisses, and I didn't realize that he wasn't experience that intense, personal, Romantic love from God also

.

I'm sorry, but if my husband ever told me he WAS feeling intense personal soul kisses from God I don't know what I would do. Call a psychiatrist or take him to the emergency room are two things that come to mind, though!

[Arete]

For me it was "Am I a slut for wanting my husband when he's tired?" and I think for him it it was "Am I allowed to kiss her passionately while she's standing there fuming about the unwashed laundry with circles under her eyes and a fresh c-section scar from bearing the last fruit of our marriage on her stomach?"

This is SO. FUCKED. UP. These people have no business having sex, much less procreating.

Anyone have a fresh mixed batch of brain bleach I could borrow?

[SpeakNow]

Ewwwwwwww

[Closed Womb]

at age 37, I could potentially have four or five new Baby Abigails in my life

Please, no.

Our culture is so messed up about sex...

Yes, Abigail, YOUR culture is so fucked up about sex.

[Black Aliss]

Here you go.

[Arete]

Bless you, my child!

[Vex]

Oh sweet Mr. Jesus.

She is feeling guilty for having GOOD sex before marriage with her husband but you cannot have GOOD sex before marriage because you're having sex before marriage.

Right? In addition to brain bleach I need headache tablets, stat.

This does nothing but confirm my belief that these fundies who were 'traumatised' but their feminist, liberal upbringings are actually traumatised by the religion they say saved them from that traumatised upbringing. No wonder she's crying on her kids' bedroom floor while they sleep, she is a very confused lady.

[Artemis]

But the reality is that Sex is NEVER good for girls outside of marriage. Emotionally it is not safe, so physically for us, it is not going to feel good.

So all those big Os while I was a wicked twenty-something were entirely illusory? It wasn't good? Ok, then whose body was I inhabiting?

Hey lady, you might be sobbing on the floor because of your hang-ups about pre-marital sex, but that doesn't mean all of us are.

A little advice:

1 Stop feeling guilty about wanting to be fucked. Most women get horny.

2 If you learned to pleasure yourself it would take a lot of pressure off your marriage. Get a vibrator.

3 If he's into you but no good at it, get a good sex manual and start learning.

4 If he's into it, but not into you, get a divorce.

5 If he's into something seriously weird and you're worried, get a lawyer.

6 You're not St Theresa. If you want to spend your life yearning over intense personal soul kisses from God, get yourself to a convent.

7 Newsflash: Your poor husband is human. He's not God: therefore you'll have to start learning to differentiate between an idealised and a real relationship. Cut the poor bugger some slack and just enjoy getting it off together.

She makes me so cross with all that infantile mewling and puking.

[Sola]

Hmm, well I had good sex before my marriage and still have good sex now. Go figure.

Maybe her husband just has a lower sex drive than she does. Maybe she's yearning for the pre-kids days when she could jump her husband's bones whenever she felt like it. These things happen but most of us don't bring god into it.

[desertvixen]

There's more of the marriage/healing posts!

http://abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012 ... ce-on.html

Basically, all about how she helped her marriage by not asking for help with housework.

Which irritates me. HE lives in the damn house, HE contributed to the production of the children, HE should help. Housework sucks.

http://abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012 ... ctful.html

Respect is important. It should also be mutual.

So--watching the movie Fireproof helped me kickstart a conversation with my husband about "What 3 things can I do to show you respect." He picked tithing, doing evening prayer together, and not using my father's credit card. Three months later, those tasks are much easier for me.

I also learned that chronic complaining about my hard days with our kids was a form of disrespect to my husband. I'm now working on ironing his work shirts and keeping hand towels in the kitchen (acts of service). Respectful communication itself continues to elude me.

So WTF is she using her dad's credit card for it not situations like this: http://abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012 ... bread.html (the $30 for 6 days of food thing because she messed up)?

[Artemis]

What's so hard about being respectful when you communicate?

[singsingsing]

This was my favourite part:

"The secret is this: A husband is motivated to love in response to a wife showing him unconditional respect.

What? WHAT?! NO! How sick is that? So to 'motivate' your husband to love you, you must treat him like some kind of god or Emperor. There are so many things wrong with this.

1) It's just plain bullshit.

2) It's nowhere near the Christian conception of love. You love your husband because you love him. Your husband loves you because he loves you. That's what is actually commanded. And yes, Paul (if you take Paul seriously, which I'm sure she does) says wives should obey their husbands, but he also says that husbands should lay down their lives for their wives. Somehow that doesn't seem to translate to, "Hmm, well honey, maybe if you fawn over me and make sure I don't have to do any housework, I might feel manly and motivated enough to love you."

This is one of the things that really bugs me about Abigail. She doesn't even understand the religion she's so freaking sanctimonious about.

[singsingsing]

What's so hard about being respectful when you communicate?

Abigail can't seem to go very long without having an emotional breakdown over a variety of things (her husband not ~romancing~ her enough, someone looking at her wrong in mass, etc.), so it doesn't surprise me she can't handle communication. To be honest, I think she would be a nightmare to have as a mother. I would say as a wife as well, but her husband seems to enjoy it.