Your loved one died so that God could teach you a lesson

[B5SnowDog]

Thanks. I know losing one's parents is to be expected at some point, but at seventeen with no warning was hard. I have a good life now and I know he'd be happy for me but oh I miss him sometimes.

This thread pushed a button of mine, obviously.

I can only imagine. :(

[latraviata]

And stop saying it was OMG ALL OF FJ when it was actually like four people.

Reading comprehension is not your strong point, is it?

[MrsYoungie]

Best angry response to "God needed another angel" is from Rabbit Hole (warning: don't go see it if you lost a child)

"Why didn't he just make another angel? He's GOD!!!" said by the grieving mom to the grieving grandmother in part of her answer to why she doesn't go to church any more.

[meda]

I think some of the insensitivity of the OP and similar type comments is that modern American culture has very few mechanisms to deal with death and grieving. Some of the moden evangelical/ fundie teachings about death and grieving really just amplify the vacuum.

It's Gods will/ things happen for a reason/be happy, so and so's in heaven! To me seem like the Christian version of be strong/get on with your life/ don't be negative because it attracts negativity/ medicate your grief. Many of the same people who are attracted to fundy Christianity do not seem to come from cultures with rituals to facilitate grieving. They lack access to things like sitting shiva, long wakes, public funeral processions, or rituals that honor ancestors. Lacking those things, people are expected to be sad for as little time as possible, not distress others with grief, forget, move on and keep sweet. That, coupled with the judgmental BS in many fundie churches really seems to elevate stupid comments to grieving people to an art form.

[latraviata]

Best angry response to "God needed another angel" is from Rabbit Hole (warning: don't go see it if you lost a child)

"Why didn't he just make another angel? He's GOD!!!" said by the grieving mom to the grieving grandmother in part of her answer to why she doesn't go to church any more.

Bloody awful! My niece lost her FIL a week ago and one of her American friends wrote the same 'angel poppycock' on her fb page.

[latraviata]

I think some of the insensitivity of the OP and similar type comments is that modern American culture has very few mechanisms to deal with death and grieving. Some of the moden evangelical/ fundie teachings about death and grieving really just amplify the vacuum.

It's Gods will/ things happen for a reason/be happy, so and so's in heaven! To me seem like the Christian version of be strong/get on with your life/ don't be negative because it attracts negativity/ medicate your grief. Many of the same people who are attracted to fundy Christianity do not seem to come from cultures with rituals to facilitate grieving. They lack access to things like sitting shiva, long wakes, public funeral processions, or rituals that honor ancestors. Lacking those things, people are expected to be sad for as little time as possible, not distress others with grief, forget, move on and keep sweet. That, coupled with the judgmental BS in many fundie churches really seems to elevate stupid comments to grieving people to an art form.

Trust me, it is not only American culture, it is the same in my country and I suppose in other western countries too, only we have less believers, grief is not very popular and people find it very difficult to interact with a grieving person, I should know.........

[Terrie]

when I hear about how "God is teaching" me a lesson, I want to hit someone in the face and tell them the same thing.

[Koala]

Oh come on, she is very clear about distancing herself from her fundie lifestyle and it is obviously very hard to do the transition, we all know that.

If she is in the midst of a lifestyle change (from fundiedom to "mainstream") then perhaps FJ is not the place for her to be. It's certainly her choice, but she isn't likely to be hand held when she's being offensive. FJ is a snark board, not group therapy. Nowhere do we advertise as a transition group for those exiting the fundie lifestyle.

She is accountable to herself and only herself about the things she might have said or thought in another fase of her life.

If she puts crazy shit on the internet, it's forever. If she puts crazy shit on FJ she's likely to be called on it later.

If she is going to paint women as harpy nags to be endured by their poor, put upon husbands, then she needs to either recant or accept that such statements are going to follow her.

What is FJ? A tribunal? The inquisition?

Oh please, are you always this dramatic? She was asked a simple question. :roll:

I fully understand why she feels offended and being bitched.

Umm yeah, she seems to be holding her own from where I'm sitting. I do believe it was her who started throwing around the word "b!tch" (because that's what ladies say..."bitch" is used by those evil feminist).

Give her the credit she deserves.

If you want to give her credit and applaud her, then go right ahead, but don't presume to tell the rest of us that we need to do the same. This is not a hive.

[GiGi_41]

Many of the same people who are attracted to fundy Christianity do not seem to come from cultures with rituals to facilitate grieving. They lack access to things like sitting shiva, long wakes, public funeral processions, or rituals that honor ancestors. Lacking those things, people are expected to be sad for as little time as possible, not distress others with grief.

One of the things I thought about during the funeral and afterwards was wearing black. I wish we had that tradition still. I know it sounds silly, but I felt like if black was still a mourning color,if I broke down crying in the line at the grocery store (which I did several times) that then people would know what was happening without them thinking I was crazy or me having to give an explaination.

I was just trying to remember what I wore to the memorial meeting...I have no idea that week was such a blur...

[latraviata]

One of the things I thought about during the funeral and afterwards was wearing black. I wish we had that tradition still. I know it sounds silly, but I felt like if black was still a mourning color,if I broke down crying in the line at the grocery store (which I did several times) that then people would know what was happening without them thinking I was crazy or me having to give an explaination.

I was just trying to remember what I wore to the memorial meeting...I have no idea that week was such a blur...

I was wearing black for 6 months.

[latraviata]

If she is in the midst of a lifestyle change (from fundiedom to "mainstream") then perhaps FJ is not the place for her to be. It's certainly her choice, but she isn't likely to be hand held when she's being offensive. FJ is a snark board, not group therapy. Nowhere do we advertise as a transition group for those exiting the fundie lifestyle.

If she puts crazy shit on the internet, it's forever. If she puts crazy shit on FJ she's likely to be called on it later.

If she is going to paint women as harpy nags to be endured by their poor, put upon husbands, then she needs to either recant or accept that such statements are going to follow her.

Oh please, are you always this dramatic? She was asked a simple question. :roll:

Umm yeah, she seems to be holding her own from where I'm sitting. I do believe it was her who started throwing around the word "b!tch" (because that's what ladies say..."bitch" is used by those evil feminist).

If you want to give her credit and applaud her, then go right ahead, but don't presume to tell the rest of us that we need to do the same. This is not a hive.

Oh dear you are as rigid as a fundie. She humbly apologized, are you happy now?

[formergothardite]

As long as she doesn't keep posting stuff like she posted originally, people will forget about it. Free jinger: A place where you get called out for shitty stuff you said and then if you apologize and don't act that way again, it is usually forgotten. People are totally going to forget.

But I still am curious as to why bitch is spelled b!tch. :lol: This isn't mocking, persecution, or anything like that it is just asking a question. Feel free to call me a tribunal. :roll: I just don't understand why people spell the words that way. It is still calling someone a bitch. Not sure what taking out the "i" does.

[Vex]

I can't understand how people believe in a God that does things just for their personal benefit, like they're just that special. It's sad because she could be so much happier if she just took some initiative and stopped passively accepting everything. Using her logic, maybe God gave her the ability to change her own life so she'd actually do it?

I agree SO MUCH with that. I cannot wrap my head around the idea some people believe God does everything just for them. It's everything from 'he gave me a flat tyre to teach me patience!' to 'can you believe there were just a bouquet of perfect, fresh roses just lying on the side of the road!?'. Tyres, incredibly, puncture for thousands of people each and every day. And maybe, just maybe, God didn't put a bouquet on the side of the road for YOU, but someone whose loved one died in a car accident there placed them on that site to remember them by, not realising stupid girls would pick them up thinking they were a gift from God? For some reason it really makes me mad.

[latraviata]

As long as she doesn't keep posting stuff like she posted originally, people will forget about it. Free jinger: A place where you get called out for shitty stuff you said and then if you apologize and don't act that way again, it is usually forgotten. People are totally going to forget.

But I still am curious as to why bitch is spelled b!tch. :lol: This isn't mocking, persecution, or anything like that it is just asking a question. Feel free to call me a tribunal. :roll: I just don't understand why people spell the words that way. It is still calling someone a bitch. Not sure what taking out the "i" does.

Perhaps it has someting to do with the ridiculous American habit to beep ugly words??

[formergothardite]

I don't see why that would be the reason because she is still calling people a bitch, she just leaves out a letter for some strange reason. I have also seen non-Americans use the word bitch, so I'm not sure it is just an American thing.

[latraviata]

I don't see why that would be the reason because she is still calling people a bitch, she just leaves out a letter for some strange reason. I have also seen non-Americans use the word bitch, so I'm not sure it is just an American thing.

The beeping is an American thing, very hypocritical.

[formergothardite]

Ah, I see what you are saying. Yes, that probably is a very American thing. The whole, I'm going to cuss at you and call you names but it isn't as bad as real cussing because I used @#! in place of some letters is fairly annoying and, I totally agree, hypocritical.

[latraviata]

Ah, I see what you are saying. Yes, that probably is a very American thing. The whole, I'm going to cuss at you and call you names but it isn't as bad as real cussing because I used @#! in place of some letters is fairly annoying and, I totally agree, hypocritical.

The horrible, vulgair situations in 'Jerry Springer', people fighting, telling the most nasty stories, but hey we bleep the cussing away!

And yes writing b!tch is daft, but considering her backround.......well....

[Koala]

Oh dear you are as rigid as a fundie. She humbly apologized, are you happy now?

I'm not addressing her, I'm addressing you and your ridiculous assertions that FJ is comparative to a tribunal or an inquisition. I am further pointing out that we are NOT a recovery group for former fundies. We (the majority of us) aren't here to gently hold their hands as they walk into the light, and applaud them when they imply that women are "b!tchy" nags.

Your throwing around words like "tribunal" and "inquisition" when simple questions are asked is laughable when you take into consideration that you are posting on a snark board.

[Koala]

Ah, I see what you are saying. Yes, that probably is a very American thing. The whole, I'm going to cuss at you and call you names but it isn't as bad as real cussing because I used @#! in place of some letters is fairly annoying and, I totally agree, hypocritical.

Yes, I agree with that as well. It drives me up the wall. The only thing worse is seeing a grown woman refer to them as "bad words" (why yes, I am living in the Bible belt, why do you ask? :lol: ). Seriously, I have once said to someone, "It's not appropriate for a nearly 60 year old woman to say "bad words"".

Sorry for the rant. Major pet peeve there..

[B5SnowDog]

But I still am curious as to why bitch is spelled b!tch. :lol:

It's a common way to get around profanity filters on forums. Some people get in the habit of doing it and continue using the altered words even on forums without filters.