The Jepsons

[Jodi6]

Jodi, do you read any blogs written by black women living in the United States? Or blogs written by black men and women who were adopted as children by white families? You really, really, should. Your lived experience as a white woman is very different from the experience your daughters are going to have and you need to get that into your head.

Once again you are basing opinions on assumptions and you know what they say about that. We have lots of black women at the church we visit but they are from Nigeria so that probably doesn't count for you right?? They tell me there NO PUFFS! So everyone has an opinion. Yes, there are books on transracial adoption. This was also part of our required parenting classes. Including listening to 2 adoptees tell their life story. You really think you can adopt internationally and not be required to learn about this? Where have you been? Where we live it is very detailed the way they screen your family.

Our experiences are individual based on who we are as people not our skin color. Theirs will be different than mine that is why we call it theirs. I listen to Voddie, does that help you? He was right too, you folks marginalize us each and every time. :shock: :D

My girls enjoy Jasmine on the Return of the daughters, is that what your meaning ? ;)

[Guest Anonymous]

So what you're saying is... You've experienced the absolute minimum requirement of interracial interaction and you are:

1) Really, really smug about it.

2) Still this clueless about race.

Good to know.

[MyNameIsJonas]

They may tell you "no puffs"- that doesn't make them right. They (as well as you) probably don't understand how white colonization has affected the way they perceive themselves and their own beauty. Our individual experiences are DEFINITELY based on skin color, unfortunately. Your black son is far, far, more likely to be pulled over, mysteriously "commit suicide" in the back of a cop car or be profiled than your white sons. He'll be considered more violent and less attractive. Going into transracial adoption with a "colorblind" mindset does a disservice to your children and is perhaps the most insidious type of racism. Go ahead and deny that their color will shape their experience-down the line, they'll have stories to tell you just the opposite.

ETA: The number of black friends you must now have to not be considered a racist is 6.

[Guest Anonymous]

My girls enjoy Jasmine on the Return of the daughters, is that what your meaning ? ;)

Obviously the screening process isn't stringent enough, considering some of the people they give children to. Like the Campbells, you might be familiar with them. Several of their adopted children just up and disappeared and were never mentioned again. They were erased from the family. Then there was Lydia Schatz, Hana Williams, and Sean Paddock. Someone gave those precious children to families that beat them, abused them, starved them, and ultimately killed them.

You are very ignorant or very stupid if you think that your skin color will not affect your life in the United States. White privilege, look it up. You have it, your daughters and one of your sons don't.

Oh, and as for Voddie. He adopted kids even though his wife is too sick to care for them. He loves to hit his own children and even wants to beat other people's children for the "sin" of being shy. That's not a good endorsement to me, no.

Judging by the way you treated a woman who tried to educate you because she wanted to help your kids, it doesn't make me feel much better that you happen to have some women of color who attend your church.

**Edited to fix quotes.

[lilith]

My girls enjoy Jasmine on the Return of the daughters, is that what your meaning ? ;)

I don't find it reassuring that one of your daughter's role models is an obviously intelligent and vibrant young woman who has abandoned her stated dream of going to college and living an independent life so that she can be a stay at home daughter, serve her father, raise her younger siblings in place of her very sick mother, and wait for prince charming.

If that's the only model of black womanhood they are given then heaven help them.

I feel really sorry for Jasmine, of all the stay at home daughters I think she is wasting the most potential and suppressing the biggest dreams. I really really hope your daughters find a happier life than she has.

[Deleted07]

I have serious questions for Jodi. What right do you think you have admonishing Kelly Bates and her son Zack, along with Sara Reith, for their failed courtship?

Why do you think they have been defrauded by this process? and Why do you think they should change their stance on courtship?

Do you seriously think the best thing for them to have done was to get engaged straight away and go straight into marriage, and that would have cured all?

Are you planning this "straight into engagement and marriage" scenario for your own children? To someone they don't even really know!? and couldn't possibly be in love with because they don't even know them! Can you not see how potentially dangerous this could be? (ie the potential for spousal abuse! Because abusers often seem perfect on the outside.)

What would you do if your child did not want to marry someone you wanted them to marry?

eta; your original comment from The Bates blog;

Tryge and Jodi Jepson

7/31/2012 2:06:01 AM

Hello Bate,

We are truly sorry to hear about your loss! We hope the SM Davis Sermon we sent you for Christmas is making sense. He speaks out against courtship for these reasons. We believe his approach to the marriage alter is very on target biblically. However many, many disagree with his thought on this. Maybe the Lord has allowed this, that you might make a few changes to spare heart ache for the others. I know we were so blessed and thankful for Mr. Davis message. Avoiding Defrauding in Relationships we wish I could hand them out by the box full!

Many prayers, the Jepson family

[Patsy]

I don't have a dog in the hair fight, I don't care about the grammar stuff, but I will say this:

Jodi, obviously I think it's great that you share about the kids' birth mothers and talk lovingly of them, but that doesn't change the fact that asking "well where is your birth mother? is she here?" is REALLY fucked up. Talking about how great their birth mothers are and how you try to approach the topic healthily isn't any sort of rebuttal against the fact that that particular incident was really quite awful.

FJ discussions where it's one person talking with fifty others can become very overwhelming, so I do hope that if you find yourself a bit overcome by the mass of questions asked and opinions shared, you will still take the time to think over why everyone has a problem with that incident. Seriously, I think it's an absolutely awful thing to say, and if it was accidental and that attitude will never come out again - well, obviously everyone makes parenting mistakes, and the high stress of RAD parenting is going to produce a fair number too! But if you think of it as being an acceptable thing to say, again, could you please think it over and try to understand why so many see it as awful?

[kolga]

Holy shit. I have never been so sad for children I don't even know personally IN MY LIFE.

The horror and othering and psychological manipulation those poor girls experience every day is beyond my imagining.

[Imora]

If we shared your entire blog over here it would be copyright infringement, not to mention annoying. We quote relevant sections because that's allowed under Fair Use. I have read the post you linked. What do you want, backpats for sometimes being nice to the children you chose to adopt? You're not in the right place if so.

As for this section it's weird as hell.

What does the bolded actually mean? Are there different 'ways' to be white?

[Imora]

Holy shit. I have never been so sad for children I don't even know personally IN MY LIFE.

The horror and othering and psychological manipulation those poor girls experience every day is beyond my imagining.

Yeah this. I've been reading through this disgusting shit and it is starting to put me off my dinner so I'm gonna sign out for now. I keep going to post but then someone like Koala or Experienced says exactly what I am thinking (in a much more clever way than I can).

:evil:

[Imora]

Every now and then someone says something SO stupid that I end up backed as far away away from my computer monitor as my chair will allow. It's like I'm afraid that the idiocy is going to come out of the screen at me. I've had more than one of those moments in the course of this thread.

Someone call Angri-la, please. Jodi needs a schooling on how to adopt a kid without screwing it up. Here's a hint Jodi - pretending that race doesn't exist and doesn't matter is doing it wrong.

Fark yeah.

[lilith]

What does the bolded actually mean? Are there different 'ways' to be white?

I think she means "She has a new, different in every way, white Mommy, which is me". Punctuation isn't one of her strong points.

[Guest Anonymous]

I thought it was another grammar fail, and should have read "a new, different in every way, white mother".

eta: sorry, crossposted.

[Imora]

I think she means "She has a new, different in every way, white Mommy, which is me". Punctuation isn't one of her strong points.

Ohhh okay thanks, I couldn't think outside the (bad punctuation) square there! :lol:

Fuck. Good thing she has no intention for her girls to have an occupation apart from homemaker.

[DarkAnts]

Jodi I am giving your props for coming here and answering questions.

If the girls asked to go to a university, would you let them?

[Guest Anonymous]

Damn! I typed the same word twice in a row and now people have quoted me so I can't go back and edit for fuck you. My riffle will live forever. :(

[Guest Anonymous]

Damn! I typed the same word twice in a row and now people have quoted me so I can't go back and edit for fuck you. My riffle will live forever. :(

The internet never forgets, and now you and your modest doggie will live a life of shame. :naughty:

Which is about all I can say on this thread because the image of that woman sitting her kids down and taunting them because their first mothers are gone from their lives makes me too distressed for words. :(

[formergothardite]

Okay, I'm getting ready to leave for vacation in a few minutes, but I would like to point out that there is a big difference between not being able to spell words correctly and not knowing the actual words and phrases. Think of Kristina with her "soak and wet" for "soaking wet". Some of Jodi's mistakes are like that, she doesn't know the actual words, which is not a good sign at all for someone who is homeschooling. And this is coming from someone who was homeschooled (so you can't claim I'm anti-homeschooling) and did get a very good education. But my mother would have been horrified if I ever wrote anything with as many mistakes as Jodi makes on her blog. You are supposed to do all things for the glory of God, well you are making God look really bad by being too lazy to proof read and spell check your blog posts.

And now that I am sure I have made mistakes in this post, feel free to highlight them for me! :lol:

[Koala]

Yes I wondered is it legal what you are doing here?

Yeah, isn't it illegal to talk about public blogs? :roll:

[GeoBQn]

Curse my mortal body and its need for sleep! I'm impressed by how quickly this thread exploded overnight!

Jodi, you posted a Scott Brown list on your Unliberated Woman blog, "Top Eleven Things Cultures Hate That the Bible Tells Women." I had questions about the following items on the list:

2. Women should submit and obey their husbands following the example of Sarah and regard their husbands as "lord."

This is a direct contradiction to what the Bible actually says about Sarah.

And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, making merry. And Sarah said to Abraham, "Drive out this handmaid and her son, for the son of this handmaid shall not inherit with my son, with Isaac." But the matter greatly displeased Abraham, concerning his son. And God said to Abraham, "Be not displeased concerning the lad and concerning your handmaid; whatever Sarah tells you, hearken to her voice, for in Isaac will be called your seed." (Genesis 21:9-12)

This does not sound like a submissive woman to me. Sarah gave Abraham a direct order, and G-d told Abraham to do whatever Sarah said. How do you reconcile this contradiction? That dovetails into another point on the list:

10. Women should not exercise authority over men.

The Bible includes many examples of women who exercised authority over men. Deborah had official authority as a judge and prophetess. Jael saved Israel from an invading army by killing their general. Miriam was a prophetess on par with her brothers.

And I brought you forth out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed you from the house of bondage, and I sent before you Moses, and Aaron, and Miriam. (Micah 6:4)

That doesn't count all of the women who did not have official positions of authority, but found ways to accomplish their goals in ways that circumvented the authority of men. Rebecca fooled Isaac into giving Jacob the blessing meant for Esau. Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute and conceived a son with her father-in-law. These women are just the ones from the Old Testament. As a Jew, I am not familiar with the New Testament but my understanding is that there are many more such examples of women. How can you support the claim that the Bible tells women not to exercise authority over men when many of the woman featured don't fit that claim?

The last point on the list is the following:

11. Lesbianism is evil.

I would like to see you post an exact quote from the Bible where it says this, because as far as I know, there isn't one.

[Sister Mozz]

I think snarking is translated where I come from as coveting. Or you might use the word jelously.

Wow. Ummm... no. Just no.

I listen to Voddie, does that help you?

Actually, it makes it worse. He's a bully, and cares more about his idols* than he does about Jesus Christ. If you go to the webpage of his church and search their About Us, their What We Believe, or their Our Core Values pages, you will not find Jesus mentioned anywhere. Here are the links for your own research:

http://www.gracefamilybaptist.net/about/

http://www.gracefamilybaptist.net/what-we-believe/

http://www.gracefamilybaptist.net/what- ... re-values/

*the family and his own patriarchal rule

[Koala]

I listen to Voddie, does that help you?

If by "does that help" you mean "does that make you worry about my children even more" the answer is yes. Are you aware that some of his teachings regarding children advocate hitting and violence?

[Witsec7]

:chores-vacuum:

I couldn't really attempt the crap cleaning before my morning espresso.

FWIW Jodi's treatment of her three adopted kids is probably some of the most painful stuff I've read on a blog. Her continued justification here leads me to believe that even though these children have better food and shelter than in their homeland they are still at risk. I ponder an adoption agency that would would permit these folks to adopt knowing that the girls would be under educated and limited in their opportunities. I think Jodi and her spouse lied so that they could adopt, or their kids were just purchased like a bulk commodity from an agency that only cares about profits.

[Sola]

Thank you Experiencedd, that fundie shit was starting to stink up the place.

What is it about Fridays? It's always Friday when the fundie decides to come here and shit all over the carpet.

[Witsec7]

Thank you Experiencedd, that fundie shit was starting to stink up the place.

What is it about Fridays? It's always Friday when the fundie decides to come here and shit all over the carpet.

I take full responsibility for luring this fundy into the Hive. The siren song of the Bacon Bra is hard to resist. Once I saw the photos of them killing a pig I knew the BB could bring her in here like a homing pigeon.