Integrating a "New" Cat

[theinvisiblegirl]

So my grandmother died on Tuesday. It was very sudden, and I wouldn't be on FJ right now if I didn't have something that I felt I could ask here. It was a major topic of discussion in my house last night, and it's on my mind and I can't sleep, so I figured I'd post now.

Grandma had a cat. We aren't sure how old she is because they adopted her after she was abandoned. My mom decided that the cat will come live with us. Miss Kitty has never lived with another cat before. She's a bit neurotic for a cat. She has to have the basement door open or she freaks out; when left alone for long periods of time, she sometimes resorts to peeing everywhere.

To the best of our knowledge, she's never lived with other cats before. (If she did wherever she was before the person who my grandparents adopted her from got her, we're unaware.) Grandma used to let a neighbor's outdoor cat in to eat, and she would merely hiss at him and then go hide. Usually the outdoor cat would just come, eat, and leave but sometimes he would stay for a few hours and sleep in the house. This wasn't my favorite thing in the world because he was pretty dirty, but Grandma loved that cat like Mr. Big Boy - actual name - was her own.

Anyway, I'm not sure how well Miss Kitty will take to living with my 3 cats, Whiskers, Midnight, and Shadow. Miss Kitty has claws on all her feet, whereas all my cats were declawed in the front paws when they were kittens. (I know that this is a very hot button issue. I'm asking for mercy this one time, FJ. Grandma just died, and it was not my decision to have them declawed.) I'm worried that she may attack the other cats. Though I do think my cats will quickly learn not to fuck with Miss Kitty, and she's a very gentle cat to people, but I'm concerned that there may be frequent attacks just because it'll all be so new.

My mom doesn't want to leave her in my grandmother's house alone. Even though someone will have to go every day to feed her and can spend time with her, she feels it's best to bring her here as soon as possible. I think we need to work slowly. With the others, we kind of just let them loose and they did fine. I feel like it may not go so smoothly for Miss Kitty given her age and how long she's lived without another cat consistently in her life.

Any advice at all on what might be the best possible course of action would be so appreciated.

[SpoonfulOSugar]

Hi.

First, my sympathies on the loss of your grandmother and all the accompanying decisions/stressors/challenges.

Here are my suggestions - take or leave any or all of them.

I think it unlikely that *when* you integrate Miss Kitty (now or in a week or a month) will make much difference.  I think it's the *how* that matters much more.

First, when she is moved, bring with you at least her litter box, her bowl or eating dish, and several fabric items that smell like her and your Gram.  (For example, a bed; if she slept on the bed, the sheet or a comforter, anything else that is "hers" and has her smell.)

Gradual introduction and with patience is the key.  Miss Kitty should have one room that is hers and should stay in there for at least a couple of days.  (With her litter box and most - but not all - of her smellies.  We generally use either the bathroom or one bedroom.)  Put one smelly where your other cats can sniff at it and explore it, and make sure that you pet them and love them when they are doing so.

They may sniff under the door at each other.  They may hiss or posture - just ignore it.

After 48 or 72 hours, put your cats in one room for a couple hours and let Miss Kitty out to explore a bit.  Then she goes back in her "safe room."  Let your kitties sniff where she has been again.

Spend time with Miss Kitty, and when you have loved on her, go and sit with your cats and let them smell you.  Do the same in reverse.

If you have a tall child-gate, at this point you can also put it in the doorway of the safe room - so they can see each other but not get into each other's face.  React ONLY to serious fighting - a little hissing and posturing should generally be ignored.

Watch how the cats are interacting, and continue to vary the amount of time she is out and they are out.  

The standard recommendation is one litter box per cat plus one, but I have violated that for years.  Just make sure for MK that her box is clean and available.  Since you say her "accidents" appeared to relate to loneliness, you might find that she "likes" being with other kitties.

One thing I've seen recommended is to move furniture at the point that you are ready to integrate them.  This means the cats don't have the "territory" they have created and so are more likely to all accommodate a bit more.  (I've never had to do this.)

Another recommendation is to use Feliway pheromones - they come in sprays and I think electric diffusers.  I have not used them, but I have seen very positive feedback from others.

You should also start trimming Miss K's claws - that should be done no matter what/when, just to acclimate her to the process.

It's probably a good idea to take her to the vet - they can probably use her teeth to give an estimate of her age.  They can also make sure there isn't a physical reason for the peeing.

We have four cats who arrived all as adults - all with their own little quirks.  (Three different times of arrival.)  They all have integrated well - there is an occasional hiss, but no major drama.  It can be done - even for kitties with attitude.

I know @Blahblah and @Destiny have both recently integrated kittens.  @RabbitKM has been fostering kitties and might also have some insight.  

I think every pet mamma feels apprehension about adding a new family member (we just added a Hound and I thought it would be disastrous), but patience and consistency will win!

Please feel free to PM if you have questions - and again - my heart is with you and your family.

[theinvisiblegirl]

Thank you so much for your advice, @SpoonfulOSugar. I had a feeling FJ would be the place to post about something like this. You mentioned some things that I hadn't even thought about. I'll definitely bring these things up to my parents.

I look forward to any advice that Blahblah, Destiny, or RabbitKM, or any others, can offer as well.

[ALM7]

@theinvisiblegirl, I'm very sorry for your loss.  You and your family are in my thoughts.

[ALM7]

@theinvisiblegirl, a few years ago, a homeless older kitty showed up, she was in very bad shape.  She had been declawed, only had a few teeth, and was very fragile due to age. I tried everything to properly integrate her with the other cats, they simply wouldn't accept her. She was so afraid, I think she was abandoned.  

In desperation, I had a non-tinted screen door made, with clear Plexiglas mount on each side, half way up the wood framed screen door.  I mounted this door on the outside door frame, of the regular wooden door of a spare bedroom. 

This protected set-up enabled everyone (other kitties & new girl) to observe each other first hand. I rotated them in groups, long time cats in spare room looking out, then the new kitty had her turn in the protected room. About every 8 hours this rotation happened, thank goodness I'm retired and could do it with frequency.

After about a month, I noticed they randomly would lay in the hall by the screened door, calmly watching the other. Then the big day came, I had the new older kitty with me in the main part of the house, and had my partner open the kitty room screen door, and we waited. The three kitties ventured out, and barely paid attention to our new family member.  In fact two them went back into the room to sleep on the cat tree.

This was a desperate measure, but it worked for me.  @SpoonfulOSugar was exactly right on the procedure, she brought up a very important point too, don't over-react. Well, I'm incapable of that lol, I was a nervous ninny, and the cats probably played off my fear. Fortunately, in spite of my fear of hissy fights, we are now all happy campers. 

I wish you well, and I again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[SpoonfulOSugar]

I keep thinking of things I would add and then forgetting before I get here . . . . 

If you try integrating them, and you have major dust ups, you just try again.  Isolate her again for a day or two, and then start the acclimation again.

And yes, the cats do sense our emotions.  If you are calm, it's much easier.

The other thing, some people say animals don't grieve.  Call it whatever people want, Miss Kitty is facing a huge change.  She's lost her human, and she's relocating.  She may have issues with eating, she may be a bit isolated, she may pee indiscriminately.  It's *not* directed at the new humans - don't take it personally.  She's in a tough spot.

Also - feed her whatever she was eating.  After she is settled in, then make dietary changes.  But keep her current schedule and lifestyle as much as possible during the move to make her more comfortable.

[Destiny]

Anyone who says animals don't grieve is crazy. Also, I have nothing to add to what @SpoonfulOSugar already said.

I'm so sorry for your loss @theinvisiblegirl.

[Blahblah]

@theinvisiblegirl so sorry for your loss. What a horrible time for you.

as for integrating kitties, I agree with @SpoonfulOSugar and have used most of those tactics.

also our older cat, Millie, was very partial to a specific cat treat (little fish shaped liver flavored treats). We used these when introducing Alfie. When we first got him, he was "quarantined" in a spare room. They could sniff and swat paws under the door. We switched bedding in and out to trade their scent. We also traded places and put Millie in "lock up" while Alfie explored the rest of the house. 

When we first put them together in the same room for a while, we distracted Millie with treats if she got uppity with him. We also brought him out only at feeding time for a few days. Millie lives by her stomach so the positive associations of Alfie = food worked for us.

even when they were tolerating each other while we were around we still put Alfie in lock up at night for a few weeks until we were sure things were completely settled.

you could also watch some Jackson Galaxy for good tips too 

All the best to you and your kitties and wishing you kitty snuggle piles very soon. 

 

 

[smittykins]

Very sorry for your loss, @theinvisiblegirl.  May the new kitty integrate well with the others, and come to love you as much as your grandma.

[RabbitKM]

Hi, @theinvisiblegirl, I am so sorry for your loss.  I also agree wholeheartedly with all of @SpoonfulOSugar's suggestions.  I do foster, but I have never had to introduce one foster to another or anything like that.  However, I would suggest that you might want to leave Grandma's cat in the "safe room" for longer than only 3 days.  Whenever I get a new foster, I typically leave them in the bathroom anywhere from 5 days to a week, I even did longer with a set of brother/sister kittens.  I go into the bathroom and just sit there at first, maybe bring a book or an iPad with you.  This is so they get to know you, they can observe you, etc.  Once you feel like the cat is comfy with you, then you can introduce them to the rest of the house.

I wish you luck! I always think the first few weeks when I get a foster is the hardest, so don't get discouraged, because it always gets better and is obviously a huge joy in my life!  

Oh, and the Feliway spray works pretty good, too.  It wont do miracles, but it should help.  I use the plugin and the spray.

[theinvisiblegirl]

Thank you all for the advice on this. I'll keep you updated on how it goes.

Tonight, I rubbed my cats down with a towel for a good 2-3 minutes each. I thought I should do it more, but then again, cats have such a strong sense of smell that it was probably sufficient. My mom is bringing that over tomorrow, and we're bringing something from the house that the cat lays on here to get things started. We're looking to bring her over on Tuesday, the day after the funeral when we'll be home a bit more. We're all very nervous about how it's going to go. I know cats can sense our emotions, so we all just need to "calm the fuck down" - it seems to be the house mantra as of late. Save for the whole new environment, we're going to try to keep things as consistent as possible for her. Brushing her with her favorite brush (she'd love it if you brushed her for hours), feeding her the same food, using the same litter box and litter, Hell, I may even make an effort to put on The Price Is Right every morning at 11 and put the volume up high as though my grandmother was in the house with us. Anything to make it easier on Miss Kitty.

[theinvisiblegirl]

Miss Kitty came to her new home yesterday. She went into the carrier easily enough, but when she came here she saw my cats walking around and started hissing. We showed her to each of them so they would see her ad he would see them, and she was a hissing mess. Poor Midnight walked up to the carrier because it's in her nature to just go up to objects that look good enough to rub her mouth against (we call it flossing in my house), and Miss Kitty hissed and hit the carrier with her paw. I screamed, which certainly didn't help anything. Midnight and Shadow ran up to my room, unbeknownst to them that we would be bringing her up there. They scattered quickly enough once she kept hissing.

She's currently in my room. She was doing this weird panting thing that my mom said cats do when they're stressed, but I've never seen my cats do that. It was also a little hot in my room, so we set up a fan to help cool the room down. Once she settled in, she was good. The only time she hissed was when my dad came home from work and he heard the "new" voice - but once he made himself known and she recognized him, she was fine. She's been eating and - best of all - using her litter box. She likes to sleep with people, so last night was a lot of fun for her. I kept waking up to check on her, and she loved the attention.

My mom let Miss Kitty out of my room tonight, and she walked around upstairs a bit. Not that there was much room to walk around in, as my mom's room is a no-cat zone, but she went into the bathroom and hopped into the tub. Midnight apparently was standing at the bottom of the stairs and saw her and did not look too happy to see her. Then she put the cats in the basement and let Miss Kitty explore a bit. She reluctantly went downstairs, and as soon as my dad made a noise in the kitchen, she ran back up to my room. She clearly feels safest there. If worse comes to worse, my mother and I are prepared and are trying to sway my dad to go along with designating my room as "Miss Kitty's room" permanently. We really don't want to keep her shut away alone, but if her being around the others doesn't go well then we aren't willing to get rid of her, and it's the only choice. We're going to try letting her explore again tomorrow or Friday.

[dawbs]

we kept my kitties in separate rooms for a week+ at introduction, so do give it some time.

GIve everything as much time, quiet, slowness and patience as you can.  (and the book 'cat vs. cat' is worthwhile, if you get stuck, IMO)

[theinvisiblegirl]

It seems like this is taking a very long time to happen. She hates the other cats. Doesn't hate us, but hates them. Tbh, I think they all hate her, too. Miss Kitty rarely leaves my room, so we bring the cats up there. So far it's been individually. Only one of my cats has been in there with her for a period of longer than 3 seconds. My dad brings our oldest up, and she doesn't take off running immediately when he puts her down on my bed. Midnight is usually first to hiss. Miss Kitty has taken to looking at her mostly, but when my dad turned the light on they both began to hiss like crazy. We've taken to just leaving the door open for a few hours to see what happens. All in all, though, she's exposed to all three cats in some capacity during her day - a visit from Midnight, glimpses of Whiskers, and at least hearing Shadow cry at the door.

My room was Shadow's room. He liked to hide from the other two cats and from us. It's just how he is. You don't see him much except for meals. He's the most inconvenienced by her seclusion to my room.

Tonight when I was at a meeting, my mom said she heard hissing downstairs and came to investigate. Miss Kitty had come down while all the cats were still out and about, turned left, went through the living room and into the family room. It was only then that she began to hiss, probably because she saw Midnight. My mom investigated and saw that Miss Kitty had come down. It was the farthest she's come.

I think both Miss Kitty and Shadow are gaining weight from this. I can't be sure because I don't know if I see the difference in all the pictures I've taken of both of them. But I've been trying to get them both moving, and we've been trying to limit the intake of food for both. They were both chubby to begin with, Shadow being realllly big, but we don't want it to get any worse.

What are we doing right? Wrong? Is this supposed to take this long?

[Coconut Flan]

It's been a month.  They're progressing slowly but progressing and you had full grown cats.  I had a cat who would still hiss 10 years after we brought a new one home.   She would do it usually twice a day just to assert her rule over the house I think. As long as they don't fight, a little hissing isn't bad. 

[Blahblah]

You are only a month in. Give them time. As long as they all feel safe and secure, and have escape routes where they don't feel trapped, you should be ok. My two still have the occasional fisticuffs and grumpy fights and we're 8 months along.

[SpeakNow]

I'm almost a year in and my cats still have occasional fights but they are becoming less and less frequent. It took my cats nearly 2 months before I could let them be in the same room together and not immediately start fighting. I know it's difficult, but just be patient. Cats take a long time to adjust to new situations.

[ILoveJellybeans]

A month isn't long. It took ages for Socks to accept the three kittens. Its been a year, and she still isn't keen on them. She doesn't fight them or anything, but she will hiss or swat at them if they get too close or try and sniff her, but they eat fairly close to eachother and are all happy to cat in the same room as eachother and all have run of the house.

 At one month in for us, the kittens lived in the dining room with their own stuff, and Socks lived in the rest of the house with her own stuff

[theinvisiblegirl]

It's been about 2 months now. We keep the door to my room open all day, and we're working towards also leaving it open all night. We've left the door open while no one was home a few times, just for an hour or two, but we haven't come home to find any injuries, fatal or otherwise. The stairs are basically an off-limit zone. If Miss Kitty is sitting at the top in the hallway, and another cat even walks by, she'll start hissing. If they stop, that's when she starts with the growls. One night, she came down and went over to my mom to be pet, then saw one of my cats sleeping and that was enough to send her back up the stairs. Last night, she came down the stairs and was hidden behind my mom's printer, still on the stairs, and she started hissing at Whiskers and Shadow. It was only when my mom investigated that she saw Miss Kitty had made an attempt to come down the stairs, which doesn't happen all that often. It's a very big deal when it does.

I carried her about a third of the way down the stairs one night, and she stayed fine in my arms. When I saw Shadow but she didn't, I decided to let her go back up on her own because I didn't want her to see him and start freaking out. I'm going to do this more and more to see if that makes a difference.

Whiskers is the bravest of our three original cats. She goes upstairs often and has even made it all the way into the room to play with Miss Kitty's toys. When this happens, Miss Kitty hisses a few times, then goes into the hallway and just broods. One day, when I couldn't find Whiskers, I figured she had to be upstairs. As I got to the top, Miss Kitty was there. She looked at me, then looked at the room and hissed once, like she was saying "She's in there. Get her out!" Shadow let me carry him up there one day, and she didn't hiss at him, just stared and winked. Shadow took one look around what was his former room, saw all the amenities it now has to house Miss Kitty, let out the saddest cat cry I've ever heard, and then promptly ran away when I put him down. I do think it's only a matter of time before he storms the room and takes back what was once his, which will be interesting. Midnight's had the least contact with her because she's older and doesn't really want anything to do with a new cat. My dad brings her up to the room every now and again and shuts the door, which is the only other cat Miss Kitty has been in a room with for more than 2 minutes.

Overall, it's going a lot slower than I think we imagined, but progress is being made in small ways here and there. I know it could be a hell of a lot worse.