Mitt Romney Was A Bully

[Samantha]

I still remember the spitting on me, the gum in my long hair, the fear I had walking to class everyday for years because I was going where the bullies hang out and spit on me, I remember the fight I was forced into, I remember the laughs, the sneers, I remember feeling horribly alone at recess, I remember all that. I'm sure some people forget those events because everyone deals with trauma differently, but you should be careful with those you hurt to make sure they really don't care anymore, before you say I'm sorry, you were so meaningless to me I don't remember anything.

Sophie, I couldn't agree more with you. As I read I kept thinking that I could have wrote your post. I can still remember the cruel names and "harmless pranks" that were played on me. I can still remember the exact sound the combination lock that was throw at me made as it hit me in the knee, because I was fat. That was eight years ago. The fear, the pain, the anger is not so easily forgotten.

And I'm sure many of my tormentors may not be able to recall the incidents. I may have moved on for the most part but my treatment in middle school and high school is always in the back of my mind. I have issues with trust and have a hard time keeping friends because of the constant worry that they'll turn on me so easily like the ones in high school did.

After reading the article about Romney, I cannot say I am surprised but I am disgusted. I hate him more than I ever thought could be humanly possible.

[Conuly]

If Romeny had sincerely apologized, I don't think that this would be an issue. People change as they grow older. He could have said that he regretted the ignorance and stupidity of his youth. That is not what he did. He apologized for something that he claims he doesn't remember. So, he isn't acknowledging that he actually did anythinf wrong.

I tend to agree. People can be so stupid when they're young. I really think the pack mentality is just an unfortunate aspect of being human, something that is exacerbated by putting large numbers incompletely socialized kids in what is, for many, effectively a prison with insufficient guards. (This isn't actually an indictment against schools in general. Smaller schools with smaller class sizes would probably make a world of difference, even if NOTHING else was done about bullying or the culture.)

However, even if he genuinely doesn't remember (which would say worlds about his character at that age) any specific incident, to portray them as "pranks", to claim nobody was thinking about gay people back then (to which I say HA! with a capital HA! and that he's either a bald-faced liar or he's really too stupid and naive for words), and to weasel around with "if" this and "maybe" that? That says a lot about his character now. I'm just so tired of fake apologies.

[Austin]

I was neither bullied or a bully, but it just seems that the act of holding someone down and hacking their hair off would be. . . memorable. But like so many are saying, maybe if one does such things often maybe it wouldn't stick out. :shock: And if that's the case, what does that say about him?

[Deleted03]

I was neither bullied or a bully, but it just seems that the act of holding someone down and hacking their hair off would be. . . memorable. But like so many are saying, maybe if one does such things often maybe it wouldn't stick out. :shock: And if that's the case, what does that say about him?

it means that while other members of his party accepted that a child at the moment of capture was held for years in Guantanamo and tried like an adult for his alleged actions that children can be sentenced to death, he does not think that his own bullying actions matter that much, and that really HE is able to change and not repeat his harassment of a kid, because really those were just pranks.

[Arete]

There is a woman from high school who bullied me (and others) back in the day who has sent me 2 different friend requests, both of which I clicked "not now". Maybe she doesn't remember, maybe she does, but either way we weren't friends then, and there is no reason to start now. No apology necessary, I just don't care enough to want to connect. Have to say I am surprised she does.

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't think that it's particularly unusual for bullies not to remember what they've done. I think that a lot of bullies just rationalize their actions into oblivion: 'Everyone's like that when they're young', 'youthful high spirits', 'just a bit of cattiness', 'teenage mentality', 'pack mentality', 'too young to know any better', etc. It's convenient for them. It salves their consciences. I remember when a group of girls who used to bully me horribly suddenly tried to take me on as a charity-case friend. It was honestly as if they didn't understand why I hated school so much or why I was so nervous around them. They had forgotten.

Edited because I can't spell.

[Visionoyahweh]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/ ... ml?hpid=z2

John Lauber, a soft-spoken new student one year behind Romney, was perpetually teased for his nonconformity and presumed homosexuality. Now he was walking around the all-boys school with bleached-blond hair that draped over one eye, and Romney wasn’t having it.

“He can’t look like that. That’s wrong. Just look at him!†an incensed Romney told Matthew Friedemann, his close friend in the Stevens Hall dorm, according to Friedemann’s recollection. Mitt, the teenage son of Michigan Gov. George Romney, kept complaining about Lauber’s look, Friedemann recalled.

Obama says he's cool with gays, and the next day Romney is reveled to be a wanna-be gay basher. Nice strategy, Mr. president! :clap:

“It happened very quickly, and to this day it troubles me,†said Buford, the school’s wrestling champion, who said he joined Romney in restraining Lauber. Buford subsequently apologized to Lauber, who was “terrified,†he said. “What a senseless, stupid, idiotic thing to do.â€

“It was a hack job,†recalled Maxwell, a childhood friend of Romney who was in the dorm room when the incident occurred. “It was vicious.â€

[EmmieJ]

I certainly don't think an act of bullying in high school should count against anyone some 30 or 40 years later. I did some stupid things in school, and I wager that everyone on this board did also. In my day girls seldom bullied but we knew how to be catty and mean to anyone we didn't like. If you are out of high school and still engaging in high school behavior then there's something wrong.

I had a nursing school classmate who used to get picked on a lot. She had very long, stringy red hair that she did nothing with. She didn't style it or wear it at all attractively. One night while she was asleep someone (or more than one person) cut her ponytail off. I was shocked and could not believe someone could be so mean. We graduated in 1966. I recently found Becki and am back in touch with her. She didn't even remember the event! I was more upset about it 47 years later than she was. I don't know who cut her hair but if Becki forgot it happening maybe the bully did too. So I can believe Romney might not remember.

What Mitt Romney did went beyond mere "bullying" or behaving stupidly. It was basically assault and battery and if a student did something like this at my son's school, the student would likely be arrested and face criminal charges as a juvenile. To gloss over the facts (he got a gang of students together; they literally chased down a fellow student and held him forcefully to the ground; then Mitt took scissors and cut the student's hair while the student screamed and cried) as high school "boys will be boys" is ridiculous. (And somehow, I really don't believe your story. The only way it's true is that your friend is in early stage Alzheimer's)

[nutella addict]

I was bullied. Not typically physically, aside from a few attempted kicks every afternoon when the teacher left the room for a moment in 5th grade, but the verbal stuff really bothered me. I came home crying every day in 6th grade and so my parents switched me from private to public school. I don't even know why they picked on me, except that I guess I made a good target or something. Or was "too nice", whatever that means. All of my friends at that school left one by one when the bullying got too much, I was about in the middle of the group. For the most part I'm not "scarred" but at times I can be over-sensitive when people tease me (besides my close friends, of course) and if people are whispering and laughing a part of me always feels like I'm the one they're whispering and laughing about. I do think in a twisted way it made me stronger - grow a thicker skin and all that - but if I could have had that another way that might have been preferable. Still, as I said, thankfully whatever level of bullying I received was clearly not traumatic in the long-term, and I could see forgetting specific instances if I had a worse memory. This is a lot of words to say that it had both positive and negative effects on me. I did appreciate one of the worst bullies from my private school being nice to me in high school (when we wound up in the same classes again because she also left that private school) and actually apologizing for ever bullying me, and apologizing for her (high school) friend who was very mean to me in high school.

If Mitt were like my "frenemy" above and genuinely apologized only a few years after, that would have reflected much better on him. His "apology" sounds like a cop-out, and I don't think he realizes just how traumatizing such a thing could have been if it had been done to him. I wonder if any of his kids get bullied? That might help him shift perspective...

(Note: I do not wish the Romney children to be bullied - I don't wish any children to be bullied! I only mean to say that if they have been bullied, he might realize the effects better.)

[DowagerDuchess]

I am not a Republican, nor do I support Mitt. However, I do wish the media could find some horrible action that he did or participated in doing that look place a little more recently than 1968.

I was not the same person in 1968 that I am today. Most of my Berkeley school mates, both undergrad and grad schhol, are not the same as they were in 1968. We are Baby Boomers, and in my case an old hippie who spent my summers off from school following the Grateful Dead.

I want to hear something Mitt has done in the last 15 years that he needs to be held accountable for, and lose the election as a result of.

[Conuly]

You know, it's interesting. We're all talking about Romney not admitting to being a bully in school, and everybody is posting how they were badly bullied in school. I was bullied in school, so I guess I'm going to do this too!

Notice how nobody's posting that they were a bully and did some things they're ashamed of now? I mean, even assuming we've got a skewed membership here, obviously there were, in all our childhoods, a LOT of bullies around. So... where are they? Statistically speaking SOME of them should be here, and nobody's speaking up about it.

Oddly, their insight would be useful, at least in terms of understanding why people downplay it later in life.

[Deleted03]

I was bullied. Not typically physically, aside from a few attempted kicks every afternoon when the teacher left the room for a moment in 5th grade, but the verbal stuff really bothered me. I came home crying every day in 6th grade and so my parents switched me from private to public school. I don't even know why they picked on me, except that I guess I made a good target or something. Or was "too nice", whatever that means. All of my friends at that school left one by one when the bullying got too much, I was about in the middle of the group. For the most part I'm not "scarred" but at times I can be over-sensitive when people tease me (besides my close friends, of course) and if people are whispering and laughing a part of me always feels like I'm the one they're whispering and laughing about. I do think in a twisted way it made me stronger - grow a thicker skin and all that - but if I could have had that another way that might have been preferable. Still, as I said, thankfully whatever level of bullying I received was clearly not traumatic in the long-term, and I could see forgetting specific instances if I had a worse memory. This is a lot of words to say that it had both positive and negative effects on me. I did appreciate one of the worst bullies from my private school being nice to me in high school (when we wound up in the same classes again because she also left that private school) and actually apologizing for ever bullying me, and apologizing for her (high school) friend who was very mean to me in high school.

If Mitt were like my "frenemy" above and genuinely apologized only a few years after, that would have reflected much better on him. His "apology" sounds like a cop-out, and I don't think he realizes just how traumatizing such a thing could have been if it had been done to him. I wonder if any of his kids get bullied? That might help him shift perspective...

(Note: I do not wish the Romney children to be bullied - I don't wish any children to be bullied! I only mean to say that if they have been bullied, he might realize the effects better.)

I know I havea tough skin, I don't care what people say about me (except people in authority) peers, I don't care. I also know that I don't know how to take compliments - for sure they're not true and the person is just trying to make fun, right? I also am never sure of when a friend is a friend, or if I am being too clingy or demanding with friends always scared that they'll go away as the few friends I had for a couple months inevitably did since I was ostracized - who would want to hang out with me?

Now, everyone is saying it was for so long, but if being bullied leave us scars or particular formation of character, can it be that being a bully does the same? How does he relate to people? How is this guy going to react if there's a provocation by another country?

[Peas n carrots]

I admit, I did some things I'm not proud of. I'd never physically assaulted anyone, and in the pre-high school days said plenty of mean things (though in my middle school, targets tended to rotate). I regret it 100%, and I wish I had taken the high road and said nothing instead of participate in a pack mentality and ridicule other girls. I had experienced some bullying (though on a much milder and infrequent level than most in here...I recall being spat on once and being refused friendship based on hair color) and instead of empathizing I jumped in to gain acceptance.

Now my husband, he experienced bullying on a regular basis and it's affected him. He was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate, which required multiple surgeries throughout his childhood. He's also very quiet and mild mannered, so I suppose all that made him an easy target for bullies. The school he went to was totally unsupportive as well, and despite his mum confronting the headmaster multiple times nothing was ever done. Finally, like the kid in Christmas Story DH snapped one day. A bully had been threatening him and DH took a brick and threw it at him...hitting the bully in the head and knocking him out cold. DH ended up getting suspended for a week, but he was never bullied again! Even better, said bully tried friending him on facebook a few years ago...DH couldn't believe he would attempt doing that, and he ended up ignoring the request.

[apple1]

I certainly don't think an act of bullying in high school should count against anyone some 30 or 40 years later. I did some stupid things in school, and I wager that everyone on this board did also. In my day girls seldom bullied but we knew how to be catty and mean to anyone we didn't like. If you are out of high school and still engaging in high school behavior then there's something wrong.

..

No, Nurse Nell, "everyone" did not.

And it was wrong what you did then, too.

signed - one who was on the receiving side

[Rosa]

You know, it's interesting. We're all talking about Romney not admitting to being a bully in school, and everybody is posting how they were badly bullied in school. I was bullied in school, so I guess I'm going to do this too!

Notice how nobody's posting that they were a bully and did some things they're ashamed of now? I mean, even assuming we've got a skewed membership here, obviously there were, in all our childhoods, a LOT of bullies around. So... where are they? Statistically speaking SOME of them should be here, and nobody's speaking up about it.

Oddly, their insight would be useful, at least in terms of understanding why people downplay it later in life.

I'm sure I was part of a group that teased or ostracized - there are definitely a few moments when I didn't speak up and should have, that I'm ashamed of.

But I never assaulted another student. There are lots of bullies who say mean things but not a lot who lead a pack to take another kid down. (and I'd bet most of them are male - there were a few vicious female-on-female fights at my high school but not as many as the guys). So it's not that strange that nobody remembers handing out a good beatdown to some kid they just didnt' like.

[luckylibrarian]

Being catty and mean to someone is bullying, and it's just as damaging as physically assaulting them. It has been twenty years, and I can recall every instance of verbal abuse. I still hate the people who bullied me. The fact that almost fifty years has passed since Romney bullied that kid makes no difference. If John Lauber were alive today, I doubt it would make a difference to him.

[Avalondaughter]

Let me say that I went through HELL during my pre-teen and early teen years. I wasn't just the target of a few bullies. I was pretty much shunned by EVERYONE. I had friends, but during school hours they distanced themselves from me. I was the kid who ate alone in the cafeteria.

I am willing to take some responsibility for what happened to me. Some things I had no control over. I had no power over how I looked. I couldn't make my head of hair be less curly and enormous. I couldn't stop myself from growing a grown-up set of boobs in 6th grade.

But it wasn't just my looks. I was the kid who insisted on acting out, on being different, on being weird. I did very little to control my impulsive behaviors as a kid, knowing that while I sometimes got laughs, I would just as often be teased. I cried at every little thing, which made it more fun to torment me because clearly people got a reaction. I knew my behavior could potentially incite ridicule and invite the wrong kind of attention. I still didn't do much to control it.

Was it wrong to shun me because of it? Yes. I also understand now, as an adult, that people are human, and will always pick on the ones who make it easy. Hell, I see adults do the same thing to each other in the form of gossip and ostracism. (A few years ago a coworker often held parties at her house and deliberately made sure a handful of unworthy people didn't know about it until right before or after the party so they would know they hadn't been invited). Kids and teenagers have plenty of insecurities and they turn them on others.

Occasionally I still receive apologies from ex classmates. I often find I don't like it. I don't want to be reminded of those times. I just want to move on with my life and stop thinking of it. I remember being terrified at my 20 year reunion not knowing how to deal with those people. Yet I felt much better when no one brought up the past and we all just hung out and acted like friends. A school full of bullies and tormentors has graduated, moved on, and basically became good, decent, upright citizens.

Now I agree that picking on gay people just because they're gay is very wrong. I am appalled by Romney's past behavior. No doubt.

How much are we supposed to hold the past against him though? People have done and continue to do this to Obama, dragging up every bit of his past and mentioning every unsavory connection he has ever had to anyone or anything controversial. I'm far more interested in knowing how a potential POTUS behaved as a politician and not a teenager. I don't need to know what Romney did as a teen to know that he is going to do nothing for gay rights. His more recent records speak for themselves. It is his behavior as a politician and not as a teenager that is going to sway me in the voting booth.

[FlorenceHamilton]

I really think the fact that Mr. Romney engaged in appalling behavior as a teen is the lesser issue. None of us can take back stupid things we did in the past. Obviously, if Mr Romney engaged in bullying on a regular basis, this would be a huge factor in his fitness to lead a nation. So far, this does seem like an isolated incident.

The larger issue is that Mr Romney is not acting like a leader in the way he is addressing the issue. a true leader would be able to have more insight. He would be able to look at his behavior and self reflect. The adult Mitt would be able to say that the adolescent Mitt lacked the empathy and social skills to integrate people who appeared outside the norm into his world. The adult Mitt would apologize now for his reprehensible behavior and reflect upon how with experience and maturity he has grown....nay......evolved....into a better person than that. He would acknowledge his failings and embrace the idea that learning and growing is a lifelong process to which he is committed.

But what do I know, I am jus' wimminfolk.

[GolightlyGrrl]

I really think the fact that Mr. Romney engaged in appalling behavior as a teen is the lesser issue. None of us can take back stupid things we did in the past. Obviously, if Mr Romney engaged in bullying on a regular basis, this would be a huge factor in his fitness to lead a nation. So far, this does seem like an isolated incident.

The larger issue is that Mr Romney is not acting like a leader in the way he is addressing the issue. a true leader would be able to have more insight. He would be able to look at his behavior and self reflect. The adult Mitt would be able to say that the adolescent Mitt lacked the empathy and social skills to integrate people who appeared outside the norm into his world. The adult Mitt would apologize now for his reprehensible behavior and reflect upon how with experience and maturity he has grown....nay......evolved....into a better person than that. He would acknowledge his failings and embrace the idea that learning and growing is a lifelong process to which he is committed.

But what do I know, I am jus' wimminfolk.

This!

[JenniferJuniper]

The larger issue is that Mr Romney is not acting like a leader in the way he is addressing the issue. a true leader would be able to have more insight. He would be able to look at his behavior and self reflect. The adult Mitt would be able to say that the adolescent Mitt lacked the empathy and social skills to integrate people who appeared outside the norm into his world. The adult Mitt would apologize now for his reprehensible behavior and reflect upon how with experience and maturity he has grown....nay......evolved....into a better person than that. He would acknowledge his failings and embrace the idea that learning and growing is a lifelong process to which he is committed.

But instead he just giggled. Like he giggled over the incident involving the poor terrified dog on the roof.

[Dhani_C]

I really think the fact that Mr. Romney engaged in appalling behavior as a teen is the lesser issue. None of us can take back stupid things we did in the past. Obviously, if Mr Romney engaged in bullying on a regular basis, this would be a huge factor in his fitness to lead a nation. So far, this does seem like an isolated incident.

The larger issue is that Mr Romney is not acting like a leader in the way he is addressing the issue. a true leader would be able to have more insight. He would be able to look at his behavior and self reflect. The adult Mitt would be able to say that the adolescent Mitt lacked the empathy and social skills to integrate people who appeared outside the norm into his world. The adult Mitt would apologize now for his reprehensible behavior and reflect upon how with experience and maturity he has grown....nay......evolved....into a better person than that. He would acknowledge his failings and embrace the idea that learning and growing is a lifelong process to which he is committed.

But what do I know, I am jus' wimminfolk.

I do agree with you, but during the 60s when this occurred (1968) this type of behavior was not seen as reprehensible. My dad grew up during the 60s as well (he's a little younger than Mitt) and he doesn't understand why it's offensive to call handicapped individuals "cripples" or the mentally handicapped "retarded" because these terms were perfectly acceptable to use when he grew up (and they didn't have the connotations we ascribe to them today). The things that they did back then that we view as heinous and horrible were normal for their era (my dad saw plenty of hazing go on during his time in high school athletics and it was viewed as a rite of passage). That may be why Mitt doesn't see his actions in the same light that we do presently.

I'm not excusing his actions because bullying in any form is horrible. I have been fortunate to have been largely unaffected by bullying myself, but I have seen the devastating effects of it through my best friend who was tortured throughout middle school because she was artistic and a tad eccentric. However, you have to look at the era at which these events took place to get a better idea of why it happened and how it was viewed (look at history and you will see it time and time again). Thank goodness that we have changed as a society to recognize the harm that bullying causes in the lives of others and have taken (and are still taking) strides to eradicate it.

[Austin]

But instead he just giggled. Like he giggled over the incident involving the poor terrified dog on the roof.

Good lawd, I was doing an errand at lunchtime and listening to CNN and they played a tape of him giggling about it, like a little child would giggle. It was creepy and made my skin crawl a bit. Even if all of his apologists have a point ("it was a long time ago", "things were different then", blah, blah), they can't say anything to make this jackass more likeable. I don't think he's unlikeable because he's a repubican, as I have found many to be personally likeable (especially having been one myself for many years), but he's just. . . grossly out of touch with how he comes off to others.

[samurai_sarah]

(snip) However, you have to look at the era at which these events took place to get a better idea of why it happened and how it was viewed (look at history and you will see it time and time again). Thank goodness that we have changed as a society to recognize the harm that bullying causes in the lives of others and have taken (and are still taking) strides to eradicate it.

I agree with you that it'sa good thing we have changed. But I dislike the idea that we have to look at an era and therefore make allowances and forgive. A lot of awful things used to be "done", but that didn't make them right, and there have always been people with enough empathy to see that. What used to be acceptable by a majority, never meant that it was actually "right" or "humane", even though it was without punishment. With the benefit of hindsight, this particular incident leaves me with the impression that Romney was so caught up in his privilege that he didn't stop to think, and actually led others in this assault. That doesn't scream "empathy" to me, but someone who relishes power, where he can. Hiding behind the 60s isn't good enough, not for the victims of such behaviour.

Shearing off someone's hair, by the way, is a fairly old form of punishment for "sexual deviants", usually for women. On a larger scale it last happened, to my knowledge, after WW2, when in several European countries women had their hair shorn off publicly for fraternising. This happened all across the board. I hope that this has nothing to do with Romney, but it does leave a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.

[emmiedahl]

I agree with you that it'sa good thing we have changed. But I dislike the idea that we have to look at an era and therefore make allowances and forgive. A lot of awful things used to be "done", but that didn't make them right, and there have always been people with enough empathy to see that. What used to be acceptable by a majority, never meant that it was actually "right" or "humane", even though it was without punishment. With the benefit of hindsight, this particular incident leaves me with the impression that Romney was so caught up in his privilege that he didn't stop to think, and actually led others in this assault. That doesn't scream "empathy" to me, but someone who relishes power, where he can. Hiding behind the 60s isn't good enough, not for the victims of such behaviour.

Shearing off someone's hair, by the way, is a fairly old form of punishment for "sexual deviants", usually for women. On a larger scale it last happened, to my knowledge, after WW2, when in several European countries women had their hair shorn off publicly for fraternising. This happened all across the board. I hope that this has nothing to do with Romney, but it does leave a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.

It sounds like he also acted as a bully when he was a Bishop.

I would not necessarily hold something done as a child against a presidential candidate unless it seemed to be a pattern of behavior that continued into adulthood. Many of us did things that we regret, I am sure if I ever run for President the photos and witnesses will be coming out of the woodwork. But Mitt did not outgrow his feelings of superiority and disdain for others.

[silvia]

I do agree with you, but during the 60s when this occurred (1968) this type of behavior was not seen as reprehensible. My dad grew up during the 60s as well (he's a little younger than Mitt) and he doesn't understand why it's offensive to call handicapped individuals "cripples" or the mentally handicapped "retarded" because these terms were perfectly acceptable to use when he grew up (and they didn't have the connotations we ascribe to them today). The things that they did back then that we view as heinous and horrible were normal for their era (my dad saw plenty of hazing go on during his time in high school athletics and it was viewed as a rite of passage). That may be why Mitt doesn't see his actions in the same light that we do presently.

I'm not excusing his actions because bullying in any form is horrible. I have been fortunate to have been largely unaffected by bullying myself, but I have seen the devastating effects of it through my best friend who was tortured throughout middle school because she was artistic and a tad eccentric. However, you have to look at the era at which these events took place to get a better idea of why it happened and how it was viewed (look at history and you will see it time and time again). Thank goodness that we have changed as a society to recognize the harm that bullying causes in the lives of others and have taken (and are still taking) strides to eradicate it.

*slaps forehead* What was I thinking?! Of course the kind of vicious physical assault Mitt perpetrated was "perfectly acceptable" and "normal" by the standards of the time. That must have been why several other witnesses (Mitt's contemporaries, no less) were so shaken by the hair-hacking incident that it haunted them for many years.

An unregenerate jerk is an unregenerate jerk regardless of what era he hails from. And your insistence that you're not trying to excuse Mitt's actions doesn't pass the sniff test.