Jebus freak at the gym--a rant

[Witsec5]

So this has really been bothering me. Maybe I need a reality check on this maybe we are being too loud. Anyway, since my friend and I joined the gym to swim 2-1/2 years ago, this lady has been there swimming in the middle lane every Sunday week in and week out. The first few weeks all those years ago, she chastised us to be quiet because she said that she used her swim time in the pool to meditate. So everytime we see her now we are careful not to make a peep.

 

So today, my friend brought her son because he's been putting on weight before his growth spurt and kids go free on Sundays. And the pool was full, very full. I noticed that everyone else in the pool was avoiding her as well and that she ends up getting the center lane to herself while we were even tripled up. My friend's son was excited about a new stroke he had learned and wanted to show me and his mom. I heard his voice booming from across the pool and my heart sank with worry. What would the fundy-lite" lady say?

 

So here's the rant: I'm really unhappy that this woman feels that she needs to clip everyone's wings just because she wants to meditate. She should get her own pool or meditation room for that. Just stop using the Church of the Holy Gym. If she is supposed to be a witness for her faith, how come everyone avoids her like the plague? Don't you think that Jebus would want her to be a kind, giving person. There's backstory to this. My friend and I met in a cancer support group and we both have lymphoma. Really we are joyful just to be alive after five years and her son is excited too. Later we were talking about how very soon her son might become a brooding teen and we will lose all of that laughter. Do you think this woman is out of line for expecting quiet?

[Austin]

So this has really been bothering me. Maybe I need a reality check on this maybe we are being too loud. Anyway, since my friend and I joined the gym to swim 2-1/2 years ago, this lady has been there swimming in the middle lane every Sunday week in and week out. The first few weeks all those years ago, she chastised us to be quiet because she said that she used her swim time in the pool to meditate. So everytime we see her now we are careful not to make a peep.

So today, my friend brought her son because he's been putting on weight before his growth spurt and kids go free on Sundays. And the pool was full, very full. I noticed that everyone else in the pool was avoiding her as well and that she ends up getting the center lane to herself while we were even tripled up. My friend's son was excited about a new stroke he had learned and wanted to show me and his mom. I heard his voice booming from across the pool and my heart sank with worry. What would the fundy-lite" lady say?

So here's the rant: I'm really unhappy that this woman feels that she needs to clip everyone's wings just because she wants to meditate. She should get her own pool or meditation room for that. Just stop using the Church of the Holy Gym. If she is supposed to be a witness for her faith, how come everyone avoids her like the plague? Don't you think that Jebus would want her to be a kind, giving person. There's backstory to this. My friend and I met in a cancer support group and we both have lymphoma. Really we are joyful just to be alive after five years and her son is excited too. Later we were talking about how very soon her son might become a brooding teen and we will lose all of that laughter. Do you think this woman is out of line for expecting quiet?

Yes, I think she's out of line. You and your friend are as much members of that gym as she is, and other than staying out of her way to allow her to swim her laps (simple courtesy), you don't owe her anything else. She is not "owed" an environment where she can meditate or pray or whatever. If she feels like she should have that space, I suggest she built it herself.

[xDreamerx]

Yes, I think she's out of line. You and your friend are as much members of that gym as she is, and other than staying out of her way to allow her to swim her laps (simple courtesy), you don't owe her anything else. She is not "owed" an environment where she can meditate or pray or whatever. If she feels like she should have that space, I suggest she built it herself.

Exactly. Also if she expects to only meditate when there is quiet, then she is kind of missing the point.

[SpeshulTaterTot]

Swimming is like meditation to me, too, but I'd never chastise anyone for being too loud. I can tune loud voices out, though, what bothers me is people stopping in the middle of the lane to talk, but I disgress. If she wants her peace and quiet, she shouldn't go on a day when kids go free. She's not entitled to a lane by herself while everyone else has to triple up just because she wants to meditate.

Congratulations on five years! :)

[Guest Anonymous]

She can use ear plugs to keep the noise out - the same ones that you can use to avoid Swimmer's Ear. She can also swim in a side lane to stay on the periphery of the noise. Otherwise she can shut her mouth, cheeky lady!

Congratulations to you and your friend on getting past the 5 year mark. Enjoy the fun of the swimming pool and tell fundie lady to stick it.... ;)

[luckylibrarian]

She is acting like the schoolyard bully who won't let anyone else use the slide. The gym is not a church. Can you complain to management?

Congrats on reaching the five year mark! My dad just reached the five year mark - also for lymphoma - and really felt relieved. It really is something to celebrate. Enjoy being healthy and moving on with your life.

[notsocommon]

I would not worry about her. Se does not own the gym, nor is she a special snowflake. Go. enjoy yourself, engage in a normal noise level and don't let her hog her own lane. Tell her tough titty if she complains, or a pointed look can work wonders too. If she carries on being rude and obnoxious, talk to management.

[Koala]

Screw her. Just because she waltzes in there like she owns the place and demands silence, doesn't mean you have to give it to her. I would politely inform her that there were no such rules in place tell her to mind her own damn business. The more people cater to her, the more demanding she will get.

Congratulation to you and your friend on 5 years <3 You deserve to make all the noise you want!

[chemist1217]

Um....I'm a competitive swimmer and former lifeguard and I can tell you this woman bat shit crazy and deserves to be called out on it. First of all, swimming IS mediation for many (myself included) and trust me, once you stick your head in the water and get going, you can't hear a damn thing in that water. Second, if she is swimming in the middle lane, she should be a freaking fabulous swimmer because the rules are fastest in the middle, slowest on the outside. Third, if she can hear you while she is swimming, she is obviously not putting her head under water and therefore, shouldn't be in the middle lane. That alone is enough for a lifeguard to tell her to move. The fact she is a bitch...well, that just warrants lots of splashing in her general direction ;)

[valsa]

I'm normally very, very polite in real life but I'd pretty much take this as a clue to treat this woman the way she treats others. She has her lane all to herself, even when others are tripled up? Swim in her lane and refuse to let her tell you not to. She tells you to be quiet so she can meditate? Tell her to meditate somewhere else.

Rude people piss me off and she is the Queen of Rude. You don't have to be rude back but you can demand to be treated fairly and with respect.

[HijabiLady]

I would probably tell her to go copulate with herself. Vigorously. I would make lots of extra noise just to piss her off and when she gets snippy I would tell her this is not her personal meditation chamber. People like that piss me off.

[Constance Vigilance]

What?

I would be deliberately swimming in the lane with her, just to a) remind her she is a patron of the gym just like everybody else and b) show others that they don't have to go along with her bullshit.

What a wanker.

[Sola]

Nope, unless she owns the pool she has no rights to tell you what to do. If she wants to swim in peace and quiet then I would suggest to her to either get her own pool or attend the public pool at a quiet time. Sundays, I would imagine, are busy times as the kids aren't at school. First thing in a morning on a school day would be more likely to be quiet, if she wants peace and quiet tell her to swim then. Then next time you go, I would cut in on her lane and make as much damn noise as you want. Get a posse of 2 and 3 years olds together, feed them coke and cake and then take them in the pool!

[clibbyjo]

Yes, I would be in the middle lane as well. TAKE BACK the middle lane!! Its not her lane! Tell her to get ear plugs if she complains about the noise.

[Deleted07]

I've seen this behaviour often in Custom Service, assholes just do shit to get their own way and no-one rarely confronts them because its futile and stressful... The few times I have confronted someone and told them they are being unreasonable, even in the nicest way...(when they've been calling me a fat assed bitch and telling me to stick my receipt up my ass :roll: ) I've ended up with marks against my name because these assholes take it to the highest level and won't let it go. 'the customer is always right'. :?

I'd put a complaint into the pool manager and get everyone you know to, and if she says or does anything again let her know you're starting a petition to get her kicked out and that you have 12 names already... you don't actually have to do that, but it might scare her enough to shut the F up!

[Sola]

Yes, I would be in the middle lane as well. TAKE BACK the middle lane!! Its not her lane! Tell her to get ear plugs if she complains about the noise.

OCCUPY THE MIDDLE LANE!!

[Constance Vigilance]

I've seen this behaviour often in Custom Service, assholes just do shit to get their own way and no-one rarely confronts them because its futile and stressful

I've had to deal with this a lot too. Which is why, when I'm a customer and another customer is getting on like a dick, I take a lot of pleasure in telling them so. :D They get told where to get off, and the staff member is defended without them having to do anything the customer can make a complaint about later.

You can always judge a person's character by how they treat waiters/salespeople/etc. I know it's been said a million times, but it's so true.

[Koala]

OCCUPY THE MIDDLE LANE!!

:lol:

[bananacat]

It's a public pool. Kids shouldn't stifle their energy just because Her Majesty insists on quiet time. You can't expect public places to be quiet! You and your loud kids have as much right to be there as she does. There are noise rules, but that's up to the lifeguards and manager to enforce. Tell her if she thinks you're being too loud to take it up with the manager. I'm 100% sure that the pool does not have a rule requiring silence. This woman should invest in some nice ear plugs if she really wants silence. She doesn't own the place and the rules don't revolve around her.

[Guest Anonymous]

:lol:

YES! :P

And, in the interests of full disclosure, I HATE sharing a swimming pool with other people's kids..... so I don't. As Sola says, there are always times you can swim in peace, when kids are in school or in bed. Public pools are for all the public, not just the ratty fundies.

[Jezebel]

So this has really been bothering me. Maybe I need a reality check on this maybe we are being too loud. Anyway, since my friend and I joined the gym to swim 2-1/2 years ago, this lady has been there swimming in the middle lane every Sunday week in and week out. The first few weeks all those years ago, she chastised us to be quiet because she said that she used her swim time in the pool to meditate. So everytime we see her now we are careful not to make a peep.

First, this has nothing to do with the fact she's a fundie. She's just a garden-variety bully.

And she gets away with bullying everyone into silence because everybody lets her do it.

She's a not-nice person who uses other people's politeness and consideration in order to allow her to be rude and inconsiderate. Stop allowing it--stop fearing her anger, or looking like a mean person yourself--and the situation will change.

You are paying the same amount for gym membership as she is, and have the exact same rights to use the gym as she does. If she wants to meditate, great--but she does not have the right to demand you walk on eggshells and try to keep silent while she does it. It's not her private gym.

To clarify: she's not the problem. The real problem is that nobody is willing to face her potential anger by telling her where to get off, so she gets to keep behaving the way she does. If nobody tolerated it, she wouldn't get away with it.

In order for things to change, other people will have to assert their right to use the gym, and tell her that if she needs silence for meditation the gym isn't the place for that. It will probably have to start with one person, unless you have enough friends there who are on the same page and willing to stick with each other.

And yes, she'll probably get mad--but what is she going to do? I mean, really? What is the worst she can do? Yell at you? Boo hoo, big fucking deal. Hit you? I doubt it, and if she did that she can explain her rationale to the cops and a judge. Get you kicked out of the gym? I doubt it. And even if that happened, you've got a gym full of people who don't like her, and collectively you pay more in gym memberships than she does. Getting a few friends to threaten to quit if management chooses her over you could be a deciding factor in your favor.

And speaking of management, have you even brought it up with them, asked if they think she's being unreasonable, and asked for their help in handling the situation? Chances are good they aren't even aware she's that much of a problem.

So here's the rant: I'm really unhappy that this woman feels that she needs to clip everyone's wings just because she wants to meditate.

She's not clipping anybody's wings--you're clipping your own. Stop clipping your own goddamned wings by trying to be "the nice one" here. Fly as you see fit, as you have every right to. And be willing to stand up to her when she gets angry, rather than letting her bully you.

And if you're too scared of one unpleasant woman to stand up for yourself, and you're not willing to do it, then at least recognize that and stop laying blame for the situation entirely on her.

[Austin]

YES! :P

And, in the interests of full disclosure, I HATE sharing a swimming pool with other people's kids..... so I don't. As Sola says, there are always times you can swim in peace, when kids are in school or in bed. Public pools are for all the public, not just the ratty fundies.

At my local Y, there are hours that are for adults only. Early morning weekday hours, for example. Most swim facilities have a certain time set aside for lap swimming for adults only. When I used to swim laps, that's when I went. As far as noise, though, there could have been a brass band playing on the side and I wouldn't have noticed once I got going. It's the perfect exercise for meditation but usually people don't need silence from everyone around them to swim and meditate/pray.

[Deleted07]

Well in the interest of taking your advice, Jezebel, was that really worth a page long rant!? :roll: Don't really understand the logic of getting all aggressive on such a topic.

[salsa]

I'm a swimmer, too, and I hate rude swimmers. I especially hate when men don't want to get in other mens' lanes (must be some sort of testostosteroney territorial thing) and proceed to get in my land and swim slowly and crappily so I have to keep passing them and getting kicked and hit in the process. Why do men think that because I'm a woman I'm not a fast swimmer? grrr. :evil:

I hate that more than I hate people taking an entire lane to do their physical therapy, paddling back and forth in such a way that even if we were to share, it would be too inconvenient.... *sigh* rant over - looking forward to the "actual" pool opening back up this Spring.

For your Ms. Precious, don't worry about offending her and just treat her like any other swimmer. Tell her that you respect her wish to meditate but that the pool is too crowded. If she protests, ignore her. Step up the pressure as necessary. The Occupy The Middle Lane idea is the best yet.

And I'm with whoever it was upthread who said that swimming is meditation and you can't hear with your head in the water! I've been known to miss a whistle. What's she doing, the dog paddle?

[Witsec5]

Thanks for your support on this one. At our pool, the middle lane is the narrowest but still when there are five in the pool, the sixth goes to the middle lane. It's kind of a rule. This morning a man asked my friend's son to move with us so he and his wife and kid could swim together. He didn't dare ask the bitch.

She's a semi-fundy I think because she thinks she can make her own church and talk about God while bullying everyone else about how holy she is while wearing a regular one-piece swimsuit. Nobody wants to call her on her crap because in our heart of hearts we wonder if we are too loud and enthusiastic. But really we aren't. Swimming for four days a week for the last two years and from time to time we run into people who won't share a lane because they "swim too big" and when I tried to share anyway, the guy cut me off because he said he had big arms and I was stuck. That was an easy one to challenge and now that guy leaves us alone. This lady is different because the holy superior shit is more difficult for us to deal with. My friend hates her but on some level doesn't want to get in the way of her and her prayers.

And you are all right. I don't hear any noise when I'm swimming.