Priscilla and David Waller 12: Covering Up for Mike Keller

[libgirl2]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I agree about the gay parents thing being normal. It’s totally normal to my kids too. But I will say they had a harder time with the he/she thing when they were very young. Hair was a big indicator for my kids for some reason. But they eventually figured it out. My good friend has a daughter who prefers short hair, clothing from the boys section, and enjoys activities popular with boys. My son could not stop calling her “he” when he was around 3. And my friends’ daughter never corrected him. She’s a teenager now and still uses she/her pronounces but shops for clothing in the men’s section. I like clothing from the men’s section too and I identify as female. I’ve just had to have a lot of conversations about gender/hair/clothing with my kids. They eventually figured it out. It helps that their school is progressive and inclusive. 
 

Basically what Pris was describing was a very young kid learning about gender norms. Which is totally normal. 

When I was around 3 or so, I had really short hair and I still remember some people thought I was a boy. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

48 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

When I was around 3 or so, I had really short hair and I still remember some people thought I was a boy. 

Same. But I also liked clothing from the boy section when I was a kid. So I got mistaken multiple times. That’s why my kids and I have a lot of conversations about how a boy in a dress doesn’t automatically mean he’s a girl anymore than me in clothing from the men’s department doesn’t mean I’m a boy. 

[Expectopatronus]

My daughter got called a boy several times as a baby. Including when she was wearing dresses and had a bow on her head. I was told that since she didn’t have earrings and her dress was blue it was confusing. 

[Jasmar]

3 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

When I was around 3 or so, I had really short hair and I still remember some people thought I was a boy. 

When my oldest was in kindergarten, she’d been best friends with a little boy from our church since they were three. When they hit kindergarten, his parents encouraged him to spend more time playing with the boys (this was at our church school). Then my daughter donated her hair, and the hair stylist cut it way shorter than she wanted it. I thought she looked adorable, like a little Dorothy Hamill, but she hated it. Her first day back at school her former bff told her she looked like a boy. She was heartbroken and bewildered at the loss of the friendship they way only an Aspie kid can be.

ironically, by the time she hit puberty she wildly favored men’s clothing. It was much more comfortable to her, and she didn’t like traditionally girly colors or patterns. The church is so freaking gendered that she secretly thought she might be gay as a young teen, not because she’d ever felt an attraction to women, but because she was so butch, in their eyes. She got a fair amount of crap from church people, but not as much as she might have had thanks to her extremely long hair.

To this day, in her late 20s, she never, ever cuts her hair. And the joke is on them: my super girly younger daughter is the gay one!

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 minutes ago, Jasmar said:

When my oldest was in kindergarten, she’d been best friends with a little boy from our church since they were three. When they hit kindergarten, his parents encouraged him to spend more time playing with the boys (this was at our church school). Then my daughter donated her hair, and the hair stylist cut it way shorter than she wanted it. I thought she looked adorable, like a little Dorothy Hamill, but she hated it. Her first day back at school her former bff told her she looked like a boy. She was heartbroken and bewildered at the loss of the friendship they way only an Aspie kid can be.

ironically, by the time she hit puberty she wildly favored men’s clothing. It was much more comfortable to her, and she didn’t like traditionally girly colors or patterns. The church is so freaking gendered that she secretly thought she might be gay as a young teen, not because she’d ever felt an attraction to women, but because she was so butch, in their eyes. She got a fair amount of crap from church people, but not as much as she might have had thanks to her extremely long hair.

To this day, in her late 20s, she never, ever cuts her hair. And the joke is on them: my super girly younger daughter is the gay one!

This hits home for me because I was always the “tomboy” and I did actually wonder if I was gay because everyone pushed this idea that tomboyish girls are gay. I’ve thought so much about my sexuality and I’m positive I am attracted to men. But I put a ridiculous amount of thought into it based on gender norms. I doubt I would have mulled over my sexuality this much if I loved wearing dresses and pink. 

Edited February 26 by JermajestyDuggar

[zeebaneighba]

5 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

My daughter got called a boy several times as a baby. Including when she was wearing dresses and had a bow on her head. I was told that since she didn’t have earrings and her dress was blue it was confusing. 

I got that too with my second child, who had really fine, thin, blonde hair and looked bald.  I could have her in the frilliest pink dress with one of those stupid bow headbands on and people always thought she was a boy.  My first had a full head of hair when she was born and no one mistook her for a boy, though I reached the eye-rolling stage when I heard "Look at all that red hair!" for the 5000th time.  Just once I wanted to reply "OMG!  That wasn't there yesterday!"

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, zeebaneighba said:

I got that too with my second child, who had really fine, thin, blonde hair and looked bald.  I could have her in the frilliest pink dress with one of those stupid bow headbands on and people always thought she was a boy.  My first had a full head of hair when she was born and no one mistook her for a boy, though I reached the eye-rolling stage when I heard "Look at all that red hair!" for the 5000th time.  Just once I wanted to reply "OMG!  That wasn't there yesterday!"

Oh I love red haired babies. I might’ve said something like that if I saw a baby with a ton of red hair 😬🤣

[GreenBeans]

15 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

But I will say they had a harder time with the he/she thing when they were very young. Hair was a big indicator for my kids for some reason

I mean, with kids, the body shape isn’t really different between boys and girls, so hair and clothing are the only things to go after. I can see why younger children would struggle with the he/she concept with other kids, the differences aren’t that big really, and then there are boys with longer hair and tomboyish girls… Our son had a plum colored snowsuit when he was younger. With a hat on and no way to see his hair, everyone, even grownups, just assumed he was a girl.

Edited February 27 by GreenBeans
Fixed double post

[MariaariaM]

16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This hits home for me because I was always the “tomboy” and I did actually wonder if I was gay because everyone pushed this idea that tomboyish girls are gay. I’ve thought so much about my sexuality and I’m positive I am attracted to men. But I put a ridiculous amount of thought into it based on gender norms. I doubt I would have mulled over my sexuality this much if I loved wearing dresses and pink. 

All of this. Also: I get misgendered a lot (still, in my forties) despite having ample hippage and boobage as well as quite a feminine face. But I also have short hair and wide shoulders, wear pants and button-ups or hiking gear most of the time, and my skin won't allow me to wear make-up or jewelry. I once read that people tend to gender someone as female based less on the presence of feminine markers and more on the absence of masculine ones. 

[Hane]

On 2/23/2024 at 12:44 AM, marmalade said:

Nice announcement, with a side of garbled anti trans rhetoric. 

Where did you find this announcement? My morbid curiosity needs to know.

[Hane]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

Where did you find this announcement? My morbid curiosity needs to know.

Quoting myself to say I found it:

And, DavenCil, WTAF.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

There's actually a fairly simple way to deal with not knowing another person's gender. Don't assume their gender based on appearance. Ask them what pronouns they use. (Even better, offer them your pronouns first.) Maybe use "they" until you know.

I know that's probably too complicated for these special snowflakes, because they base almost every aspect of their lives on their genitalia, and can't figure out how to deal with another person without knowing about that person's genitalia. But hopefully the rest of us can gradually get the hang of it.

I guess the fundies could always stop using any pronouns at all. Like Elmo! 

[Giraffe]

At work and on various discord groups I'm on most people have their pronouns next to their names. It's really not that hard. 

[Cults-r-us]

5 hours ago, MariaariaM said:

All of this. Also: I get misgendered a lot (still, in my forties) despite having ample hippage and boobage as well as quite a feminine face. But I also have short hair and wide shoulders, wear pants and button-ups or hiking gear most of the time, and my skin won't allow me to wear make-up or jewelry. I once read that people tend to gender someone as female based less on the presence of feminine markers and more on the absence of masculine ones. 

My neighbor's young adult son was so traumatized when people kept thinking he was female (he's a big, bottom-heavy fellow) that he quit his job.

[libgirl2]

My workplace handed out buttons with preferred pronouns, they also added them to the staff photo pages. I don't always remember who wants to be called what outside of my department. I try to check the pages every so often to be sure. If there is no pronoun listed and they don't have a button on, I feel safe to assume they can be called by what they look like. I don't have anything specific down. As a teenager, I wasn't the most attractive.... I worked hard to improve my appearance through the years. Please call me a she. I'm very girly. I will respect what you want to be called as well. 

[zeebaneighba]

23 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Oh I love red haired babies. I might’ve said something like that if I saw a baby with a ton of red hair 😬🤣

Oh, I know why people said it; it just got old after a while!

And for all those people who told me it would fall out (it didn't) or that it would change color?  She still has gorgeous copper-colored hair 36 years later!

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, zeebaneighba said:

Oh, I know why people said it; it just got old after a while!

And for all those people who told me it would fall out (it didn't) or that it would change color?  She still has gorgeous copper-colored hair 36 years later!

Oh that’s weird! None of my red haired cousins had their hair fall out when they were babies. That’s a weird thing to assume. But many of my red haired cousins did have hair that got lighter as they grew into adulthood. Like it sort of faded. It was still red though. Just a different red. One cousin that the most gorgeous curly red mullet you ever saw. I never saw a prettier mullet in all my life. Now as an adult, it’s pretty faded. You can tell he’s a red head. It’s just much lighter now. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

Like it sort of faded. It was still red though. Just a different red.

Thank you.  My hair was a blonder shade of red for most of my life. (I've started fading to gray recently.) When red hair was severely unpopular (1970s and 80s), I certainly qualified as a redhead. Now that it's more widely admired, I'm dealing with my mother-in-law, who apparently only considers bright copper hair as "real" red hair.

My 3 siblings and I had 4 different shades of red hair. My sister's 3 redheads and my 2 have 5 different shades of red. As far as I'm concerned, we're all still redheads. Unless we visit the UK. Then we're gingers!

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Thank you.  My hair was a blonder shade of red for most of my life. (I've started fading to gray recently.) When red hair was severely unpopular (1970s and 80s), I certainly qualified as a redhead. Now that it's more widely admired, I'm dealing with my mother-in-law, who apparently only considers bright copper hair as "real" red hair.

My 3 siblings and I had 4 different shades of red hair. My sister's 3 redheads and my 2 have 5 different shades of red. As far as I'm concerned, we're all still redheads. Unless we visit the UK. Then we're gingers!

When I was growing up, I knew a family with 7 kids and everyone in the family had red hair. Some had the same shade of red and some different. 

[anjulibai]

My older son is a redhead, and it's as coppery now as the day he was born. 

[SoSoNosy]

I just watched the video, they have both aged drastically since the last time I looked at them.  She looks exhausted, and he isn't much better; I guess the Texas sun plays a part.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, SoSoNosy said:

I just watched the video, they have both aged drastically since the last time I looked at them.  She looks exhausted, and he isn't much better; I guess the Texas sun plays a part.

I assume Pris is happy in her lot in life. But 6 kids have to be exhausting. And being pregnant on top of it. I know just 2 kids aged me! I would look 80 if had had 6 kids. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I was born with a full head of A Lot (but fine strands) copper colored hair -- like a copper penny my parents always said.  It didn't fall out, change color, or get thinner. It's been a defining characteristic all my life.  It's all still here and it's still long.  I love it.

There is red on both sides of my family (a grandfather and a great aunt), but I'm the only redhead among my siblings.

It seems a very recessive gene though as there are no redheaded cousins in any subsequent generations on either side. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I was born with a full head of A Lot (but fine strands) copper colored hair -- like a copper penny my parents always said.  It didn't fall out, change color, or get thinner. It's been a defining characteristic all my life.  It's all still here and it's still long.  I love it.

There is red on both sides of my family (a grandfather and a great aunt), but I'm the only redhead among my siblings.

It seems a very recessive gene though as there are no redheaded cousins in any subsequent generations on either side. 

I have 2 red haired 1st cousins on both sides of my family. 3 of the 4 cousins have kids and out of their kids, NONE have red hair! But the brunette sibling of one of my red haired cousins married a red haired man. And they have 2 red haired children. That’s it. Out of all my many cousins with children, only 2 have red hair. I would have loved a child with red hair but my husband basically has no one with red hair in his family. So I knew it would be a long shot. I have a blonde and a brunette. 

[justmy2cents]

7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

When I was growing up, I knew a family with 7 kids and everyone in the family had red hair. Some had the same shade of red and some different. 

A good friend in high school was the 8th out of 9 siblings, all red haired with a different shade of red. Both parents had red hair. I thought it was great.