Maxwell 56: Mary Found Freedom to Get Engaged

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

The nice thing about Sam being a guy who crochets stuffed animals that maybe now Mary can get back into sewing.  It was very clear that for a few years she was very into sewing and clearly enjoyed it a great deal. Then she abruptly stopped doing it and had to start "art". It was becoming an idol so, Mary had to stop. I hope now that Sam will encourage her to start again if she wants. 

An idol. For fuck’s sake. I hate Steve. 

   As for how sudden the changes were, F. Scott Fitzgerald said about bankruptcy that it happens “gradually, then all at once.” I bet it was like that.  Internal pressure had been building for years, then a crisis presented. I nominate the concussions and the depression that followed. Meanwhile the rejected suitors suggest to me that the family might have been a source of gossip and concern. We can only imagine what those young men had to say about Steve, and we weren’t the only ones reading what Steve, Terri and Sarah had to say about their lives. I bet some people in that church were just itching to stage whatever a fundie style intervention would look like. Membership in that church was key—I think help from the outside was necessary. Somebody had to hold up the barbed wire fence so the girls could crawl through. Somebody had to tell them they weren’t crazy or evil to want a life. Maybe that minister and the congregation (and brothers?) didn’t have to do much. Maybe those young women were just that ready. 
  I hope whatever the future holds for them makes up for those long decades of bleakness. 

[HermioneSparrow]

Wtf is going on this year lol I'm glad the Maxwell ladies are thriving. Suck it, Steve!

[divadivine]

2 hours ago, harkasquirrel said:

*sends smelling salts*

2022 has been WILD!

Did we have any of this on our Bingo cards?
Sarah Maxwell- married

Mary Maxwell- engaged

1 Arndt Engaged & 1 in a relationship 

 

 

[SPHASH]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

An idol. For fuck’s sake. I hate Steve. 

 

Not the first time that's happened.  Jesse was either enjoying or getting good at playong a certain musical instrument so Steve took that away from him too.

Edited November 23, 2022 by SPHASH

[Myfanwy]

Ya know, I always thought when people said, "Her smile doesn't reach her eyes" or "There is no light behind her eyes" and such things that they were being a bit dramatic and/or I felt dumb that I didn't see nuffin'. Just a person with a half smile or something. Well, I totally get it now. Mary looks like someone switched on her internal lights. Daaamn girl you look happy. Excellent. More happiness for Maxwell ladies. 

5 stars and 2 thumbs up. 

[MamaJunebug]

I can’t feel much happier than I do now! Mary & her beau look perfect, so glad for them!!!

If Anna chooses to marry, I hope it is for real love and attraction and delight, snd not just because her sisters are married or because it’s “His [sic] will.”   
 

What joys this year’s had, along with the sorrows. How unexpected the joys would come from the Maxwell family, but I’ll take ‘em, gladly. 

[MamaJunebug]

On 11/21/2022 at 4:46 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yet Steve’s “dad’s corner” never says much about the very big stuff happening in the lives of his daughters. 

How did Lady de Bourgogne put it, in Pride and  Prejudice: “Daughters are never of much use to fathers…” 

[danvillebelle]

I have known about/followed the Maxwells since Mary was a tiny wee thing.  Hell, her baby schedule (ugh) was in the first MOTH book.  I am so, so happy for her (and Sarah and Anna) for getting the hell out of Prison Stevehovah and building the lives they want. 

I cannot get over how she looks in that photo (and Sarah looked in her wedding pics).  The difference is night and day.  They look like *completely different people* compared to just 2 or 3 years ago. 

This is pure speculation on my part and not meant to be disrespectful in any way...Anna has always slightly pinged my gaydar.  If she's not, ok, but if she is...I hope she continues to be strong, think things through and not marry a man just because it's what's expected by everyone around her.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Speculation: I think the girls are responsible for the changes. I think they were unhappy and that Steve and Teri to find outlets like the new church. 

On the other hand, the Maxwells' last blog post announced Sarah moved out on September 10, 2021. According to Chelsy, 

Quote

Sarah and Kory met online earlier in the year and they are perfect for each other. We were all so happy for them both!

So Sarah moved out first and then met Kory. I love that she moved out for herself and not just because she had a boyfriend.  It's good sign for Kory that he didn't mind Sarah living on her own.

Samuel seems closer to vision Steve had for the girls. The Moody daughter who married married a missionary. Sam's parents post about "having eternity's values in view", which is basically where do you go when you die. I hope Sam and Mary are able to have the family size they want. While "older for a fundie bride", Mary is still young enough to have a large family like some of her relatives.

I hope Sarah is enjoying married life and not too worried yet about having kids. I know how she is, but she's only been married 3 months. She deserves a honeymoon phase. 

Edited November 23, 2022 by Bluebirdbluebell

[Coconut Flan]

3 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

  It's good sign for Kory that he didn't mind Sarah living on her own.

Kory is normal SBC.  Of course, he had no problem with Sarah living on her own.  At her age, he'd expect it. What he'd find odd would have been all three adult sisters living in what was a child's room and needing a chaperone for even going to get coffee.  

[HoneyBunny]

12 hours ago, Myfanwy said:

Ya know, I always thought when people said, "Her smile doesn't reach her eyes" or "There is no light behind her eyes" and such things that they were being a bit dramatic and/or I felt dumb that I didn't see nuffin'. Just a person with a half smile or something. Well, I totally get it now. Mary looks like someone switched on her internal lights. Daaamn girl you look happy. Excellent. More happiness for Maxwell ladies. 

5 stars and 2 thumbs up. 

For another blatant example, look at pics of Kaylee R. a few months ago and now, on her honeymoon. Same thing. Finally there’s a light in her eyes and not just that forced smile for Mama. 

[ElizaB]

I wonder if the Sarah , Anna, and Mary still schedule out their day. It might be hard for them to handle free time. Anna and mary are probably fairly busy with college; however, I wonder how Sarah copes with so much freedom. 

[feministxtian]

24 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

I wonder if the Sarah , Anna, and Mary still schedule out their day. It might be hard for them to handle free time. Anna and mary are probably fairly busy with college; however, I wonder how Sarah copes with so much freedom. 

I hope Sarah is kicked back, coffee in hand, mindlessly scrolling Facebook on her phone. 

[Mrs Ms]

1 hour ago, ElizaB said:

I wonder if the Sarah , Anna, and Mary still schedule out their day. It might be hard for them to handle free time. Anna and mary are probably fairly busy with college; however, I wonder how Sarah copes with so much freedom. 

Having to deal with the concussion hopefully broke the hamster wheel for her and might have led to depression (if that was actually announced by Sarah/Teri/Steve and not just speculated by us!) This many years later I really hope she has figured out how not to be BusyBusyBusyBusy for Jesus Steve!

[Mela99]

Is Samuel’s degree also in ministry ? 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I hope Sarah is active and found something to keep her busy. It would be good if it was a hobby that she enjoyed. She's 40 not 65.  I hope she's found something exciting to do. 

Also Facebook is considered a site for Boomers. (Yes, I technically have one, but I try not to use it that often.)

Edited November 24, 2022 by Bluebirdbluebell

[Foursquare]

If Mary and Samuel get married shortly after they graduate, they probably won't have a house at all, much less a debt free one! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Mela99 said:

Is Samuel’s degree also in ministry ? 

I’m betting he will follow in his family’s footsteps by being a missionary. It would be crazy if Mary and Sam moved thousands of miles away and Steve rarely saw them. Because I guarantee that wasn’t his plan.

[ElizaB]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m betting he will follow in his family’s footsteps by being a missionary. It would be crazy if Mary and Sam moved thousands of miles away and Steve rarely saw them. Because I guarantee that wasn’t his plan.

What is great for Mary is I always got the impression that that was what she wanted to do. Its a shame in her world she needed a man to be able to take her to another country and wasn't something she could dream of doing on her own. 

[CaptainFunderpants]

12 hours ago, ElizaB said:

I wonder if the Sarah , Anna, and Mary still schedule out their day. It might be hard for them to handle free time. Anna and mary are probably fairly busy with college; however, I wonder how Sarah copes with so much freedom. 

TBF I do that. I don't do well not at least having some idea what I'm doing with my day -it makes me depressed. I need to have a plan and things to accomplish and a few errands to run outside the house, even if it's just 'go get a cookie, a pop, and wander around Target.'

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

7 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I hope Sarah is active and found something to keep her busy. It would be good if it was a hobby that she enjoyed. She's 40 not 65.  I hope she's found something exciting to do. 

Also Facebook is considered a site for Boomers. (Yes, I technically have one, but I try not to use it that often.)

That's so true! My kids 21 year old babysitter said no one her age uses Facebook. Made me, late 30s feel very old 🤣

Edited November 24, 2022 by Milly-Molly-Mandy

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Do you think Mary and Sam waited til after Sarah's wedding to get engaged so as not to take the focus off Sarah? I really think they did. 

[mango_fandango]

I’m 27 and I do have a FB account but don’t use it much. Most people on my friends list don’t use it much either. I’m of the age now where people I went to school with are getting engaged and married, so they post when those things happen. But that’s it really. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

FB isn’t just used by boomers. I know plenty of Gen x and millennials that use it all the time. Teens and college kids? No. But that’s fine. Teens never want to do what their parents are doing. 

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

FB isn’t just used by boomers. I know plenty of Gen x and millennials that use it all the time. Teens and college kids? No. But that’s fine. Teens never want to do what their parents are doing. 

Yep I'm an elder millennial and all my friends are (mostly reluctantly) on Facebook for the groups. Local Mums groups, local neighbourhood groups etc.  

We don't post the same way our boomer parents post on Facebook but we are still using it.