Maxwell 56: Mary Found Freedom to Get Engaged

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

Edited November 21, 2022 by hoipolloi
Updated title

[HereticHick]

It was my understanding that Mary and Samuel's families knew each other before Mary went to ABC. I wonder if Sam is going to home to Uruguay for Christmas?

[ClareDeLune]

Is Anna engaged too?  Can't go for coffee without another one dropping!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Not Anna. 
 

Mary got engaged. You might want to change the title before people freak out, lol. 

I’m thinking a Summer 2023 wedding since he’s graduating in May. 

Edited November 21, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[ClareDeLune]

Haha I did freak out! 

Quote

 

Johannah

Posted 37 minutes ago

Now that we know Sarah met her beau online, maybe Mary and Anna threatened to do the same if they weren’t sent away to Christian college? Steve may have felt more comfortable with an in person godly romantic meeting rather than the potential demons that might be lurking on the interwebs. Gives him slightly more control. Or he just preempted the online option for them by relenting and allowing them to go away to school so that at least they wouldn’t turn out like Sarah. I do think there may be something to Sarah being forced to move out for breaking the house rules and not patiently spinstering for another few decades dusting ceiling fans. Sending Mary and Anna away maybe allowed Steve to save face to some extent so he wouldn’t have to deal with another showdown forced move out. 

 

I think from different things I read, that Sarah and Kory decided quite quickly to marry.  I think Teri hinted at this and also Kory sold one house before deciding to buy another quickly before proposing.  But I don't think we know any timeline for sure.

I'm guessing it was recovery from depression/concussion that started Sarah off on her new path. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2022 has been a crazy year for fundie relationship surprises:

Sarah Maxwell engaged and married.

Elizabeth Botkin engaged and married.

Luke Arndt engaged.

Mary Maxwell engaged. 

James Arndt in a relationship.

[ClareDeLune]

 

Quote

 

HereticHick

Posted 1 hour ago

I am suspecting that Sam & Mary were able to get engaged outside alone, without a cavalcade of chaperones/family/videographers milling about. Like normal adults! : )

 

I think it's lovely that he proposed to her when they were both fresh faced from walking. None of the usual fake surprise engagement with the entire family waiting at home to hear the 'news'. 

I wonder when they will get married and what the college people are thinking about it.  I'm guessing it's quite common though that no everyone will conveniently schedule their proposal and wedding for the long summer break. https://abc.edu/files/student-life/Servant's Staff 2022-23.pdf

[Melissa1977]

13 minutes ago, ClareDeLune said:

I think it's lovely that he proposed to her when they were both fresh faced from walking. None of the usual fake surprise engagement with the entire family waiting at home to hear the 'news'

Yes, it's very romantic. They walking ALONE (pictures are selfies), on the woods. She probably wasn't expecting that (no make up, ordinary outfit...). It is charming because it's natural.

[JermajestyDuggar]

This is what Sarah says about the match:

 

Just looking at all the support on both sides of the family, I think that if Steve does have a problem with them, he’s in the minority. So if he isn’t feeling supportive, he will just have to bite his lip and deal. Because everyone else seems to be very happy for them. 

[feministxtian]

I don't think Steve is going to say a whole lot. Who knows, this might be what Teri needs to tell him to pound sand and get her a Pepsi! 

[ElizaB]

Just out of curiosity (and perhaps a little devils advocate) do we actually have any proof that Steve is unhappy about any of this? Could these changes have been happening gradually and with his approval? Perhaps he was unhappy to have so many unmarried daughters and was even behind some of the changes.
 

While I find the changes of moving out, college, and online dating shocking I would actually find “doing something with my fathers disapproval” even more shocking. I think that would be a much bigger leap. To be honest, I think the entire situation is far less dramatic then we like to believe. 

[Loveday]

So happy for Mary. I wonder how long it will be before Anna announces an engagement as well?

[Hane]

@Mods: Could the title be changed from “Anna” to “Mary,” in the interests of accuracy?

[JermajestyDuggar]

30 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

Just out of curiosity (and perhaps a little devils advocate) do we actually have any proof that Steve is unhappy about any of this? Could these changes have been happening gradually and with his approval? Perhaps he was unhappy to have so many unmarried daughters and was even behind some of the changes.
 

While I find the changes of moving out, college, and online dating shocking I would actually find “doing something with my fathers disapproval” even more shocking. I think that would be a much bigger leap. To be honest, I think the entire situation is far less dramatic then we like to believe. 

We really don’t know if Steve approves or not. But he’s the only one I think would disapprove. I doubt Teri would disapprove. I used the word “if” because Steve hasn’t come right out and said all that much about his daughters’ romantic relationships. Which just seems strange. Fundies live for weddings. Yet Steve’s “dad’s corner” never says much about the very big stuff happening in the lives of his daughters. 

[ClareDeLune]

If Steve approves that would be more shocking than a daughter doing something he disapproves of?

Everything he has preached and written about is daughters staying home and being sheltered until marriage. And then in 2 years or so everything changes except his preaching.

They probably all have very complicated feelings. They are unlikely to have stopped loving or caring for each other but things have worked out very differently to what was expected. Some of them have lost time and opportunities, and some have lost face and lost company.

[sableduck]

I see along with everything else, they’ve also thrown out the ideals of a no touch courtship.

I hope they are very happy and stock their home with all the animal crackers one can eat. 

[anjulibai]

Wow, good for Mary! 

[hoipolloi]

4 minutes ago, sableduck said:

I hope they are very happy and stock their home with all the animal crackers one can eat. 

And lots of Pepsi for when Teri visits!

[Coconut Flan]

Sorry about the title.  I knew it was Mary.  My only excuse was I was doing it right before heading out the door to PT and somehow switched the name.  

[IReallyAmHopewell]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Not Anna. 
 

Mary got engaged. You might want to change the title before people freak out, lol. 

I’m thinking a Summer 2023 wedding since he’s graduating in May. 

So happy for her!! I just think of those girls rotting away cleaning their parents' ceiling fans.... Go Mary!! Now Anna!

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

2022 has been a crazy year for fundie relationship surprises:

Sarah Maxwell engaged and married.

Elizabeth Botkin engaged and married.

Luke Arndt engaged.

Mary Maxwell engaged. 

James Arndt in a relationship.

TWO Andts??? I've been away from here too long, obviously!!! Go boys, go!

[JermajestyDuggar]

It’s sort of strange to think Mary is the youngest and she’s 26. She seems younger in my brain for some reason. I’m just glad she’s not 18 and engaged. I have a feeling one of Anna’s friends at school will set her up with an older single brother. And if not, she could follow in Sarah’s footsteps and look into online dating. I bet Anna will start seeing someone soon and end up married by 2024.

[Xan]

I'm ridiculously happy that Mary is engaged.  It just makes me feel hopeful for our other fundie families.  She and Sarah (and Anna) escaped from Steve and made new lives and here she is in a real hug with what appears to be a nice young man.  They probably went walking without a chaperone.  We've come a long way from Jim Bob's dictated side hugs and questionnaires.

[thoughtful]

23 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s sort of strange to think Mary is the youngest and she’s 26. She seems younger in my brain for some reason.

I think the three Maxwell daughters happen to look younger than they are - just the whims of genes. When you add in how many of the life milestones most of us think of as normal (going off to college, trade school, work, a year abroad or something at about 18, dating, socializing with other young adults, etc.), that help us keep a mental image of the age of people we know about IRL, and that they didn't do until recently, it seems even more like they are younger.

I hope Sam is a good man, not remotely Steve-esque, and that they are happy together.

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

I think the three Maxwell daughters happen to look younger than they are - just the whims of genes. When you add in how many of the life milestones most of us think of as normal (going off to college, trade school, work, a year abroad or something at about 18, dating, socializing with other young adults, etc.), that help us keep a mental image of the age of people we know about IRL, and that they didn't do until recently, it seems even more like they are younger.

I hope Sam is a good man, not remotely Steve-esque, and that they are happy together.

For some reason, the fact that Sam crochets stuffed animals, has convinced me he’s a decent person. It doesn’t really make sense. But that’s how my brain works! 

[ElizaB]

25 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

For some reason, the fact that Sam crochets stuffed animals, has convinced me he’s a decent person. It doesn’t really make sense. But that’s how my brain works! 

When Teri was teaching Sarah to sew (an activity they both absolutely hated but for some reason felt like they had to do) she was talking about finding the right tools to teach her to sew. She found most kids learn to sew books were mostly just stuffed animals which she felt like was too much fun or something. Because ya know why try to make an activity everyone hates fun. So they had to find a different approach. So anyway, the fact that he does this makes him very non-maxwellian 

Edited November 22, 2022 by ElizaB