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Maxwell 56: Mary Found Freedom to Get Engaged


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13 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

I was thinking the other day…

I bet, when Nathan got married in January 2002, Sarah didn’t think it’d be over 20 years till her own wedding, with her brothers all marrying first. Steve and Teri are such dickheads, particularly with that part in her blog bio that she wanted to be a wife and mother someday but was “waiting on the Lord for that right guy”. I hope she’s truly happy with her new husband!

I’ll bet Teri never had “Sarah finds her man on an online dating app” on her Bingo card.

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On 11/28/2022 at 11:31 PM, Audrey2 said:

I'm a generation xer here and I fully admit to taking selfies when I'm hiking. Sadly I don't get to see my mom every year, so I sent her a selfie or two from each hike so she can see me. 

I rarely take selfies of myself (except with my cat on me, so it's really of him) but if it weren't for the group selfies with my sisters nobody would ever think I'd traveled anywhere. I'm the one carrying the camera! I spent a week in Paris and I think there are maybe 4 photos with me in them. I wish I had taken more selfies, TBH. I have lovely photos of Paris, and almost none that show I was actually there. 

I say take some photos of yourself, even if they are selfies, and print a few out even. Pull the best of the year out and make a photo book or something. Order prints. Just print them out on a laser printer if you have one. Something!

I did a video compilation for our church's hundredth anniversary several years ago, and had some real issues. There were few (but good quality posed professional) photos from the early days. There were a few here and there from the 60s and 70s, and a call for photos brought even more in. There were heaped up huge piles of photos from the late 80's and 90's. Then basically NOTHING for most of the 2000s. For the most recent stuff I was able to snag some things from peoples' facebook posts, and luckily I had taken my camera on a few church events (and knew a couple photographers in the church willing to send a few photo files) so I had some recent stuff though it was heavily weighted to things I'd participated in, but in the history room? There was basically nothing in there. Tons of photos had been taken, but they were all digital, and they might as well have not existed. They were sitting on peoples' hard drives or on their phones and essentially forgotten.

Find a way to keep at least some of that stuff, preferably printed out if possible. I just threw away a BUNCH of data I had, because it was stored on outdated and thus inaccessible technology. All my college art files were on Syquest disks or Zip drives. Luckily I have a few printouts in a box somewhere. 

My mom has been doing photo books of some of her travels, which is nice. It'll be good to have those later, when tech has moved on and the digital files have disappeared into the ether. 

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On 11/28/2022 at 4:15 PM, HereticHick said:

Does Mary really have another full year after Sam is done? Is that factoring in the online courses she took before she arrived?

That’s a good question. 
 

I think I assumed she and Anna arrived on campus as sophmores after they took some online classes, and Sam was a junior at the time. Or maybe the dean’s list mentioned she was a sophmore?
Maybe she took extra courses and will graduate in the Spring, too.  
 

 

 

Edited by kpmom
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Maybe Chelsy just bugs me and I have BEC going on. But I kind of hate how Chelsy is stealthily taking credit for Sarah’s online dating match and branching out. I want to give the credit to Sarah because Chelsy is so not one to branch out much herself. She still seems to believe in the woo like her parents and controls very young children like her parents. It’s not like she’s some kind of fundie woman who branched out from her own parents and then used her experience to show Sarah how to branch out as well. Chelsy is living a life that her parents pushed on her. Chelsy would never urge Liz to do something that her own father would disagree with.

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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9 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Maybe Chelsy just bugs me and I have BEC going on. But I kind of hate how Chelsy is stealthily taking credit for Sarah’s online dating match and branching out. I want to give the credit to Sarah because Chelsy is so not one to branch out much herself. She still seems to believe in the woo like her parents and controls very young children like her parents. It’s not like she’s some kind of fundie woman who branched out from her own parents and then used her experience to show Sarah how to branch out as well. Chelsy is living a life that her parents pushed on her. 

I think Chelsy may think she was a rebel because she didn't marry at 19 like her mother--she often stated that was her childhood dream--and many folks think she had a suitor before John.

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4 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I think Chelsy may think she was a rebel because she didn't marry at 19 like her mother--she often stated that was her childhood dream--and many folks think she had a suitor before John.

What’s funny is that 4 Bontragers all got married within 3 months of one another. That was not long after the parents prayed and pushed to get them all into relationships. The Boners couples were basically arranged marriages. So when their parents said, “it’s time y’all found spouses” they all seemed to fall in line. I don’t remember which post on the blog talking about this. But the parents did let the kids know it was time. And they found mates. 

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

What’s funny is that 4 Bontragers all got married within 3 months of one another. That was not long after the parents prayed and pushed to get them all into relationships. The Boners couples were basically arranged marriages. So when their parents said, “it’s time y’all found spouses” they all seemed to fall in line. I don’t remember which post on the blog talking about this. But the parents did let the kids know it was time. And they found mates. 

It was referenced at least once by Chelsy at the bottom of this post, regarding Allison getting married. It mentions the fasting and praying and four siblings (Chelsy, Mitchell, Carson, and Josh) getting married in 2017.

I'm also pretty sure Chelsy is pregnant again -she wore similarly fitting clothes to Sarah's wedding as she did to Denver's. Denver's she was pregnant with Maddy but hadn't announced yet.

 

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Im catching up and hadn’t seen the news that Sarah met her husband online. Both of my kids met their significant others online. (One on a dating app, the other on social media). I used to feel sheepish about telling people that bc -well,-idk why- I guess bc I’m worried my parents or others will think oh no! You know what happens when you meet strangers online! Now it happens so often, I just say “they met online, where everyone does these days.” 😂Their significant others are both lovely people, by the way. No serial killer vibes. 😂

Edited by Ex 2x2
Riffle
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5 hours ago, Ex 2x2 said:

Im catching up and hadn’t seen the news that Sarah met her husband online. Both of my kids met their significant others online. (One on a dating app, the other on social media). I used to feel sheepish about telling people that bc -well,-idk why- I guess bc I’m worried my parents or others will think oh no! You know what happens when you meet strangers online! Now it happens so often, I just say “they met online, where everyone does these days.” 😂Their significant others are both lovely people, by the way. No serial killer vibes. 😂

Yes, it has become so common that it can’t be taboo anymore. If everyone is doing it, you can’t make it weird or strange.  Again, you can meet a serial killer in a bar. You can meet them anywhere. Serial killers aren’t only looking for their victims online 😝

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On 11/28/2022 at 5:15 PM, Loveday said:

I have never taken a selfie in my life. I look bad enough in photos when other people take them (seriously, I look really, really bad, cameras do not like me), why on earth would I take one myself??? :laughing-rolling:

Because you can control how you look? I was taking "selfies" with those disposable cameras back in the 90s. We'd just get into a group and hold it out with the flash at us and hope it worked. My cousin put disposable cameras on all the tables at her wedding, and we had so much fun doing that, until my dad told us to stop wasting her film. Turns out, some of those were her favorite snapshots of her wedding. 

The smartphone selfies are nice because anyone can look good taking them. You can make faces and put on filters and change lighting. I highly recommend taking them, even if you never show them to anyone. 

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On 11/29/2022 at 9:59 PM, theologygeek said:

I have been to more funerals in the past two years than in 10 years before that.  My father passed away two months ago.  My father didn't have facebook, but some of the friends and relatives who passed had it.  What I would give to see just one more post or comment from them.  Somehow the stuff they posted doesn't seem nonsensical when they're not on this earth any more.  

The difference between you and me is that I don't want my family to know anything about me. They do not deserve to know anything that I don't explicitly share with them. Managing all the different lists was tiresome and since I don't like them, it was easier for me to just shut down Facebook. It was fun when I could create my own image apart from my family of origin,  and not have my shitty family weaponizing information from my past and/or present. 

I hate Mark Zuckberg and his stupid philosophy that the early internet was bad/dangerous because it was anonymous. The internet for me became dangerous when everyone joined and required everything to be done under your own name. 

I don't need my aunt telling my mom that they saw on Facebook that I'm in city nearby. Im there for work and a short vacation and I don't need her showing up uninvited and getting me fired. Or my job learning that my personal politics are at direct opposition to my work politics. Or that I know someone who I don't want to give a spiel to. 

It's also, like, everyone made fun of me for knowing how to code (basic html/Java nothing useful anymore) back in the late 90s early 2000s, and that computers are dumb and for weirdos but now everyone uses them for Facebook and your weird for not wanting to have your abusive family tracking your every move. 

13 hours ago, Ex 2x2 said:

Im catching up and hadn’t seen the news that Sarah met her husband online. Both of my kids met their significant others online. (One on a dating app, the other on social media). I used to feel sheepish about telling people that bc -well,-idk why- I guess bc I’m worried my parents or others will think oh no! You know what happens when you meet strangers online! Now it happens so often, I just say “they met online, where everyone does these days.” 😂Their significant others are both lovely people, by the way. No serial killer vibes. 😂

I told my mom we met at a gay bar, which is technically true lol. We just met online first and chose to meet up for a show there. 

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11 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I hate Mark Zuckberg and his stupid philosophy that the early internet was bad/dangerous because it was anonymous. The internet for me became dangerous when everyone joined and required everything to be done under your own name. 

So much this! Things like IRC felt safer because you didn’t know who anyone was. Sure the people you talked to could have been lying about who they were, but I didn’t give out my personal info either!

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17 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

My cousin put disposable cameras on all the tables at her wedding, and we had so much fun doing that, until my dad told us to stop wasting her film. Turns out, some of those were her favorite snapshots of her wedding. 

I've been to a couple weddings where they had those. I made sure to take photos of all the people at the table, and of the meal, and of the centerpiece, and went and took one of the cake... and also picked it up to get a photo of the cake cutting. And then toward the end of the reception I took it around and took random photos of the gift table, the decorations, groups of people, the bride and groom at their table, the whole room as a whole...

They have to pay to get the photos developed whether they are all taken or not, so I made sure to use up the film on the one from our table at least. It seemed like it'd be a waste to have like 5 photos and the rest be blank unused film. And I figured the pro photographer would get most of that stuff, but why not have a backup just in case? 

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My sister did that at her wedding when she got married 22 years ago. I remember how annoyed she was when a bunch of our little cousins took a ton of pictures of stupid stuff. Like feet and butts. There were a lot of wasted film rolls. 

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31 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Is this Anna in this ABC reel, studying with Alex Eichorn (they are in student govnt together)?

https://www.instagram.com/stories/abcadmissions/2984488751163146919/

He’s the guy we’ve thought might be a friend. They are both in student government and have been pictured together before. It’s possible they will become more than friends. But their body language in past pics didn’t make them seem like a couple. Although I will say they look pretty comfortable together in that reel. Maybe they are comfortable because they are good friends. It’s hard to say just yet if they are more than friends. 

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13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

He’s the guy we’ve thought might be a friend. They are both in student government and have been pictured together before. It’s possible they will become more than friends. But their body language in past pics didn’t make them seem like a couple. Although I will say they look pretty comfortable together in that reel. Maybe they are comfortable because they are good friends. It’s hard to say just yet if they are more than friends. 

I'm just pleased that she has male friends!

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Just now, HereticHick said:

I'm just pleased that she has male friends!

Definitely. I’m sure their only male friends for years were their brothers. 

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1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My sister did that at her wedding when she got married 22 years ago. I remember how annoyed she was when a bunch of our little cousins took a ton of pictures of stupid stuff. Like feet and butts. There were a lot of wasted film rolls. 

To avoid that we not only put cameras on the tables, but also gave my niece and nephews (5, 7 and 9 years old) their own camera. They loved it and made great pictures.

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She missed a chance to plug “Holy, Holy, Holy” by the Maxwell Family Singers! Haha, kidding. Good times.

I absolutely love Christmas time and am so happy that all of the Maxwell daughters are experiencing magic beyond caroling with the fam and their sparse traditions. 

Edited by fundiewatch
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4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Definitely. I’m sure their only male friends for years were their brothers. 

Hey! I’m sure they were also friends with their nephews. 

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On 11/28/2022 at 4:15 PM, Loveday said:

I have never taken a selfie in my life. I look bad enough in photos when other people take them (seriously, I look really, really bad, cameras do not like me), why on earth would I take one myself??? :laughing-rolling:

We went to Hawaii 9 days after they reopened to visitors in October, 2020. (We booked the trip just before Covid hit in February, 2020].

In order to visit Hawaii, we were required to download the Hawaii Safe Travels app and register our intinuary.  We also had to have a negative Covid test and download a selfie!  That was my first , and only, selfie.  And it felt kind of weird taking it, too!

Jill, the overly dramatic, histrionic type that she is, loves taking her own picture.

Now I just realized I’m on the Maxwell page.  Oh well!

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I just ordered my wedding dress today.  And then popped in here to check.  I never planned to get married again, but I definitely thought it was more likely than any of the Maxwell women marrying.  I’m glad I was wrong on both accounts.

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8 minutes ago, treemom said:

I just ordered my wedding dress today.  And then popped in here to check.  I never planned to get married again, but I definitely thought it was more likely than any of the Maxwell women marrying.  I’m glad I was wrong on both accounts.

Congratulations! ETA: Emily Gilmore popped into my head to remind me that we say "Best Wishes" to the bride. 

Best Wishes!

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