Maxwell 43: Divesting from the First Church of Stevehovah Reversalist

[Giraffe 21,850]

1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

But the guys walk away scot-free?

Of course! You expected differently? /s

[fundiefan 26,911]

1 hour ago, Giraffe said:

Of course! You expected differently? /s

The fact that it takes a male and a female to create a zygote is completely lost on fundies and misogynists' and all of patriarchy. Particularly societies with religious foundations, real or imagined. 

 

[Bluebirdbluebell 5,372]

The problem is when people have full quivers, it's hard to adopt. 

Maybe Nathan and Melanie will adopt. Mr. Atheist is from a mormon family with 13 children. The first 6 or 7 are biological, and the rest are adopted. 

[Tangy Bee 4,392]

Sorry to be the pee in their kool aide, but adoption is not always roses and sunshine. Assuming they haven't heard about crazy ass adoptive parents who have abused and killed children. Or crazy biological parents who have killed their kids that they never wanted in the first place. Does Nathan and Chris tell their kids...about those kids? I mean since they are so open with sharing abortion with young children, maybe they shouldn't leave out everything. Kids die after being born a few days, weeks, or years under horrible circumstances. And sadly their own parents are responsible🙁

[kpmom 12,800]

5 hours ago, SassyPants said:

But the guys walk away scot-free?

I had a professor who referred to this as male abortion and wondered why people weren't out protesting men who walk away and don't support their kids.

[sparkles 8,657]

On 10/5/2020 at 9:45 PM, Hane said:

@IReallyAmHopewell, I read something genius in an advice column: “Yes, you can be a friend of a married member of the opposite sex—as long as you’re first and foremost a friend of their marriage.”

Still pretty narrow-minded thinking, IMO. I have a great friendship with a former co-worker (we worked together for 14 years until COVID broke us up. Only 1 of us got to keep our job and that was me. 🙁) I have no relationship with his wife and he has no relationship with Mr. Sparkles although we've all met on occasion. But C and I have gone out together numerous times, usually to concerts because we share a love for a lot the same music that our respective spouses don't, and sometimes to the movies with yet another married male friend and former co-worker. It's never once been an issue, not with us or with our partners. We're friends and that's it. Fundie or not, it's a shame people still let things like this be a barrier to opposite sex friendship. It's just a lack of trust and trust is fundamental to any relationship.

[NancyDrewFan1989 4,734]

3 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

The problem is when people have full quivers, it's hard to adopt. 

Maybe Nathan and Melanie will adopt. Mr. Atheist is from a mormon family with 13 children. The first 6 or 7 are biological, and the rest are adopted. 

I don't think Nathan and Melanie will adopt at this point. It may have been an option they were considering when they had trouble conceiving, but I don't think so anymore. But, who knows, they may surprise us in the near future.

[PennySycamore 55,051]

@SassyPants,  don’t you know all those women got pregnant all by themselves?

[Melissa1977 24,239]

3 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

The problem is when people have full quivers, it's hard to adopt. 

Maybe Nathan and Melanie will adopt. Mr. Atheist is from a mormon family with 13 children. The first 6 or 7 are biological, and the rest are adopted. 

Nathan and Melanie don't seem to have room in the house for many more children, and it's not clear they can support a much bigger family. Conversely to other fundies, Nathan and Melanie offer their kids a comfortable life (beds, shoes, glasses, schoolbooks, toys). Frankly, I very much doubt they want to adopt and make their perfectly designed life more difficult. A new pregnancy would be a blessing for them, but adoption? I doubt it.

Even 6 kids are probably too much for them, because they pushed Abbie to join the "aunties team" since she was 10. She often looks tired and the last she needs is a bunch of new siblings (bio or adopted) to raise.

 

[NancyDrewFan1989 4,734]

8 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Another "life chain". What, exactly, are they doing to help anyone, anywhere? They sit in the debt free homes and type away, behind their computer, telling everyone how to live. Yet, they don't actually DO anything to help anyone. 

Why haven't any of them adopted? Spent time at women's shelters? Fostered children born to unfit parents? 

I wonder what they think of tRump's use of experimental drugs that are being developed with the use of...embryonic stem cells? Their pro-life moron in chief using the cells of aborted fetuses (!). I can't wait to see their uproar, as well as that of all fundies who call themselves "pro life". 

For some reason adoptions is frowned upon in some fundie families as it is the parents (meaning biological) duties to care for them. Bill Gothard, I think, promoted this idea when he started his rise to power. 

As for why they (meaning the married Maxwell kidults) probably won't adopt, it probably has to do with the fact fundies typically breed quickly after marriage. None of the couples use birth control and with children being considered a gift from God by the time they would even consider adoption and/or taking in a foster child they've already got more mouths to feed than they can afford. 

Plus taking in a foster child would mean allowing outsiders into their home who do not come from a fundie background. I have a feeling some of the fundie families nix foster care all together out of concern their kids will be exposed to ideas and beliefs that don't align with their own. Also, with taking in a foster child that could mean regular visits from social services and caseworkers to check up on the child. There are many fundie families that endorse the Heritage Defense, a Christian law firm that helps fundie parents when they get a knock on the door from a social worker if they've been reported to the state. So, I have a feeling the way the Heritage Defense portrays social services, some fundie families are scared of even getting a little bit involved with the foster care system. 

Honestly, I agree with you. They don't really help anyone and the adoption signs are very hypocritical. I've seen the adoption signs on other fundie blogs, yet none of them ever went through with adoption and had countless children of their own. 

[Hane 33,799]

@sparkles, by “friend of the marriage,” the author didn’t necessarily mean that you’d have to be a friend of both spouses, but that you’d commit to doing nothing that would have a negative impact on the marriage.

[Black Aliss 34,942]

All those people claiming to be pro-life and not A Single GDF one of them wearing a mask. Could they possibly have made it any more clear that they are merely pro-birth, anti-choice? How can they even pretend to be pro-life? Huh Steve? Answer me that!

Edited October 8, 2020 by Black Aliss

[moreorlessnu 1,575]

Re: Jessie's wedding pictures

I don't understand the plates with whole cucumbers, peppers, and carrots on them. Were guests supposed to pick up a whole cucumber or pepper, and chomp down on it? From a Covid-19 point of view, how unsanitary to have platters of finger foods like that. 

https://blog.titus2.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/ja-wedding-111.jpg

Re: Jessie's wedding pictures

I don't understand the plates with whole cucumbers, peppers, and carrots on them. Were guests supposed to pick up a whole cucumber or pepper, and chomp down on it? From a Covid-19 point of view, how unsanitary to have platters of finger foods like that. 

Whoops, got a little too cut and paste happy....

[Bethy 3,275]

10 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Adoption is not easy. I’ve said it before, but it’s so ignorant when people say “just adopt”!! I’m not going to go into the details. But even those adopted at birth can have issues later on in life, never mind those adopted at a later age. And even if the birth mother gives up her child willingly (as in, knew the child was going to be adopted during pregnancy, as opposed to the child being taken by authorities due to neglect or whatever) it’s not easy for her. She’s always going to have that child in mind, although people like the Maxwells wouldn’t think about the birth mother, unless in a disparaging way. 

And possibly also the child. Anybody remember the toddler who showed up in a bunch of their pictures from one of their tour stops who they referred to as a "rescue drug baby"? If they adopted a child I think they'd always hold that fact over the child's head and act like the child should be forever grateful that they deigned to "rescue" the kid from a less-than sort of situation.

ETA I really hope they had actual, informed permission from that child's family to feature him on the blog as they did. I have friends who adopted a baby through foster care and even though they live nowhere near where they adopted and years have passed, they're very careful about not putting identifying information about the adoption online in case the child's birth family is trying to find them.

I have another good friend who adopted a baby from a mom who was considering abortion. You know what my friend has never done? Hold that fact over the child's head. Actually I'm not sure the child knows anything besides the basic fact of being adopted, birth mom was really young and not ready to be a mom, that was my birth mom but these are my real parents.

Edited October 8, 2020 by Bethy

[calliopecassandra 691]

11 hours ago, fundiewatch said:

Pro-life moment spotted— AM and her family stayed home. 

Christopher is her husband right? He and most of the kids were there. AM and the baby skipped it, understandably. Since it was outside, I'm soooo glad she didn't "have" to be there.

5 hours ago, kpmom said:

I had a professor who referred to this as male abortion and wondered why people weren't out protesting men who walk away and don't support their kids.

He referred to men abandoning their children and the mothers as male abortion? Im just clarifying cuz I think that's the dumbest thing I've heard today. Did anyone in the class NOT think he was batshit insane? I've always heard them described as deadbeats. I'm 43 and I've never once heard that term. I'm feeling sensitive today, so I feel the need to note I'm NOT attacking you at all but your professor. I think that was clear but just in case it wasn't.

[Maggie Mae 27,481]

2 hours ago, moreorlessnu said:

I don't understand the plates with whole cucumbers, peppers, and carrots on them. Were guests supposed to pick up a whole cucumber or pepper, and chomp down on it? From a Covid-19 point of view, how unsanitary to have platters of finger foods like that. 

Those are designed to just be eaten, they are small. I'm more concerned that they didn't put the hummus dips in a decorative container. Who serves food at a wedding in the package like that? 

They should have had tongs to move the peppers and carrots to individual plates, for sure. 

[MamaJunebug 36,373]

Friend of mine adopted two kiddoes from Korea.  A well-meaning stranger stopped her and complimented her on "giving that baby a better life."  My friend wanted so badly to say, "I just wanted a child! This was for me!" But she didn't.

[Bluebirdbluebell 5,372]

1 hour ago, calliopecassandra said:

Christopher is her husband right? He and most of the kids were there. AM and the baby skipped it, understandably. Since it was outside, I'm soooo glad she didn't "have" to be there.

It'd be worse if it was inside right now. Outside is safer for the pandemic. I agree Christopher and four of the six kids were there (not the youngest two).

The Maxwells sort of get social-distancing, but not exactly. Like this protest seems to have the people spread out, outdoors, and not close together, but they're still maskless. I have my mask when I'm around other people beyond the ones I live with. Anna Marie wasn't there, but Christopher and their children were and will go home to her and not social distance. 

[ophelia 14,835]

15 hours ago, SassyPants said:

But the guys walk away scot-free?

Isn't that one of the foundations of fundamentalism? Having a penis give you everything you want and yet you have zero responsibilities for your actions?

[fundiewatch 2,773]

Oh man, that was a misreport on my part. I hadn’t seen the Christopher Maxwell fam! 
 

I went to catholic school and in the 6th grade they somehow sent our 17-person graduating class to a pro life rally at the Capitol. I happened to be sick, very nauseous, dissociated feeling. I was seeing these signs, and then I was in this cathedral with bloody pictures AKA the stations of the cross. Couldn’t find a bathroom. Press my face on the walls. And I didn’t realize for several years that I had an opinion on abortion— and that I was strongly pro choice. My parents were clueless and now vote democrat though I assume that my liberalism and my sister’s has pushed them, but they sent me. I wonder how typical that is. So I guess I am not that surprised by the pro life shit. On the other hand my ex husband told me, I was a junior in HS, he a senior at a catholic school, that he and his family had gone to a life chain and how he found it meaningful and in line with animal rights, which I was hugely into. Haha. I was like get the fuck out. Go vegan. Ahhh youth. 

[Maggie Mae 27,481]

Has anyone, ever, been swayed by the crowds of people outside a family planning clinic? I mean, are there people out there who are like "Hey, I want to have an abortion today, because I just don't want to be pregnant anymore!" so they go to an appointment and schedule it, and show up and there's all these people out there there with signs and they say something like "oh, no, I was wrong?" No. Just like people standing on the side of the road waving Trump signs at me doesn't make me want to vote for Trump, it just makes me annoyed. 

[fundiefan 26,911]

5 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Has anyone, ever, been swayed by the crowds of people outside a family planning clinic? I mean, are there people out there who are like "Hey, I want to have an abortion today, because I just don't want to be pregnant anymore!" so they go to an appointment and schedule it, and show up and there's all these people out there there with signs and they say something like "oh, no, I was wrong?" No. Just like people standing on the side of the road waving Trump signs at me doesn't make me want to vote for Trump, it just makes me annoyed. 

They are predators. They prey on women in vulnerable, often scary, doubt filled situations.

A woman who knows she is making the right choice *for her*, is confident in her decision, has supportive friends/partner with her or at least in her corner, probably will not be swayed.

But a woman who is going out of fear, or because she was told to, or who has no support or is in a bad situation or is in any way not positive she is doing the right thing *for her* could be taken in by "god's love" bullshit. 

Like much of religion, they prey on fear & weaknesses. 

[PennySycamore 55,051]

@Bethy, my son-in-law wonders how or if the explain to their oldest daughter, adopted from China, that she was abandoned at birth.  Her sister, also adopted from China, was taken to the orphanage at the age of three months.  I don't know that will be easy to explain to her either.  Did her birth parents just want a better life for her when they realized she was deaf or did they not want the burden of raising a deaf child?  

[Rosie 913]

3 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@Bethy, my son-in-law wonders how or if the explain to their oldest daughter, adopted from China, that she was abandoned at birth.  Her sister, also adopted from China, was taken to the orphanage at the age of three months.  I don't know that will be easy to explain to her either.  Did her birth parents just want a better life for her when they realized she was deaf or did they not want the burden of raising a deaf child?  

Either way, the birth mother recognized that adoptive parents could give the child a better life than the birth mother could.  Choosing to place a child for adoption is an act of love for that child.

That is how I would explain it.

Edited to add, I know that adoptions are not all unicorns and hearts, and that adoption issues can be very fraught.  Despite that, *in general*, I think a birth mother who willingly and of her own volition places her child for adoption because she cannot or does not want to parent, acts out of love and concern for that child.

Edited October 8, 2020 by Rosie
clarification of post

[FloraDoraDolly 4,347]

8 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@Bethy, my son-in-law wonders how or if the explain to their oldest daughter, adopted from China, that she was abandoned at birth.  Her sister, also adopted from China, was taken to the orphanage at the age of three months.  I don't know that will be easy to explain to her either.  Did her birth parents just want a better life for her when they realized she was deaf or did they not want the burden of raising a deaf child?  

I heard about an adoptive mom who had to explain to her daughter why her birth mom left her at a train station when she was an infant. (I can't remember which country this was, but the train station was a common place for women to abandon babies.) The adoptive mom ended up saying that the birth mom chose the train station because it was a safe, public place where the workers were known to take care of babies until the police/social services arrived.