Grandma Mary Died

[ophelia]

Seeing all your fur babies brought tears to my eyes. Hugs to all of you who lost a loved soul (pet or human) and are still hurting! 

[JordynDarby5]

9 hours ago, Sky with diamonds said:

This thread took me a couple more days to get through because my father passed away last month, so it's very raw. 

I won't judge anyone for how they grieve. I have my issues with the Duggars, but my heart goes out to them. My father was sick for a few months, buy I was unprepared to lose him. It still breaks my heart. 

RIP Grandma Mary. 

I'm so sorry.

Love all the cute pet pictures! They are all so adorable!

[Sullie06]

11 hours ago, Curious said:

What a handsome boy.  He looks like he knows it too

Oh yes, he knows it. He's such a lover though. He likes to sit right in my husbands face whenever possible. 

[Four is Enough]

I wonder how the family dynamic will change. I think JB was a HUGE Mama's boy.. without her guidance, will he go full tilt boogie into Michele-ville? Will they get deeper into the ILBP? What's going to happen?

[fluffernutter]

Jill posted several pics on instagram. The funeral was yesterday, she had some shots of the service, it looked like it was  in  a big church auditorium maybe, and a few of the graveside. It rained and there was a rainbow. Hopefully the family can slowly move forward. Getting through the day of the service is so hard.

[VelociRapture]

To go off the post by @fluffernutter - Jill shared about the funeral on Instagram. She again used emojis in the caption, but it was confined to flowers, hearts, and weather type emojis rather than winky faces (she mentioned how it started raining right before the graveside service and a rainbow appeared, so it wasn’t something completely out of left field.) She wrote that it was a beautiful service, a difficult day, and they were thankful for everyone’s prayers during a difficult time. She ended with, “We’ll see you in heaven, Grandma! I know you’re enjoying your time with Jesus before the rest of us arrive.”

From the photos it appears that all the Duggars stood on stage to sing Amazing Grace, it appears the ten grandsons spoke or sang together, several of the grandsons were pallbearers, Dillon was a pallbearer as well, and Jeremy might have helped officiate at the graveside or he spoke or something (couldn’t really tell based off the photo.)

And she credited some of the photos to Laura and Lauren, so not all of them were taken by the Dills. 

[DillyDally]

Any ideas why it's "Mary Lester" on that sheet of paper (sorry, don't know what it's called in English) but "Mary Leona" on the screen/projection? Pics under spoiler:

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

@DillyDally I'm not sure why they did that, seems rather odd to me, I'm assuming her maiden name is Lester so that is where that came from but seems strange they they put that as her middle name on the funeral program (that is what I call it) , so attendees can follow along with the service. and see what is coming up next or how much longer. etc...

[VelociRapture]

18 minutes ago, DillyDally said:

Any ideas why it's "Mary Lester" on that sheet of paper (sorry, don't know what it's called in English) but "Mary Leona" on the screen/projection? Pics under spoiler:

  Reveal hidden contents

  Reveal hidden contents

 

When my great-aunt died she was listed as Jane Miller Doe* on the grave and all the other materials when her birth name was actually Jane Marie Miller. It might have to do with genealogy, since it’s easier to trace female family members when you know their maiden names. Or maybe Mary opted to make “Lester” her middle name when she got married. I’m not sure the exact reasons, but I don’t think it’s uncommon to have the maiden name listed where the middle name should be when someone dies.

I'm not sure why the names don’t match up though. I’m guessing there was either a legit reason or it got overlooked accidentally. The family had a lot to deal with the last week, so I’d give them a pass if it was a mistake.

*Not her name, but our shared maiden name is very distinctive. Anyone reading here who knew what state I live in would be able to figure out who I am very easily, so I’m not about to dox myself. ?

Edited June 18, 2019 by VelociRapture

[Satan'sFortress]

20 hours ago, Nikedagain? said:

OMG THE GLORIOUS NECK CHUB OVERFLOWS

I wish someone would be this complimentary and excited about my neck chub overflows!!

[JanasTattooParlor]

5 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Or maybe Mary opted to make “Lester” her middle name when she got married. 

This is really common. Mary still may have thought of herself as Mary Leona despite the fact that she probably changed her middle name, so they may have included it in the service. 

[anaandrade]

Based on Ellie's most recent blog post, I think that Leona was Mary's middle name and Lester was her maiden name. They probably just forgot to be consistent.

[HereticHick]

Anyone else surprised that they had the funeral so quickly?  She only passed away on Sunday afternoon, right?

 

Spoiler

And I don't want to be morbid--but was an autopsy required?

 

[VelociRapture]

29 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Anyone else surprised that they had the funeral so quickly?  She only passed away on Sunday afternoon, right?

 

  Hide contents

And I don't want to be morbid--but was an autopsy required?

 

Mary died June 9th. I believe the funeral was just over a week later. 

And I have no clue whether that was needed or not and I hope not to find out. I don’t really know if that’s anyone’s business.

[JanasTattooParlor]

33 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Anyone else surprised that they had the funeral so quickly?  She only passed away on Sunday afternoon, right?

 

  Reveal hidden contents

And I don't want to be morbid--but was an autopsy required?

 

In my experience, the funerals I’ve been to are usually only a couple days after the person passes away, so I was actually thinking that a week was a bit of a wait. But, like @VelociRapture said, I really don’t want to know if an autopsy was necessary or not. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Mary died June 9th. I believe the funeral was just over a week later. 

And I have no clue whether that was needed or not and I hope not to find out. I don’t really know if that’s anyone’s business.

I read that as asking what the law was - not the results of an autopsy, of any.

My mom died at hone and they either did or didn’t need to do an autopsy legally because she was on hospice and that either did or didn’t affect the laws on autopsy’s when dying at home.

so I know there was a law, but not what it was.    I should know that.  Probably.

[VelociRapture]

Just now, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I read that as asking what the law was - not the results of an autopsy, of any.

My mom died at hone and they either did or didn’t need to do an autopsy legally because she was on hospice and that either did or didn’t affect the laws on autopsy’s when dying at home.

so I know there was a law, but not what it was.    I should know that.  Probably.

That makes more sense. Apologies if I misread @HereticHick!

[OyToTheVey]

47 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Anyone else surprised that they had the funeral so quickly?  She only passed away on Sunday afternoon, right?

 

  Reveal hidden contents

And I don't want to be morbid--but was an autopsy required?

 

Depends who you ask I guess. In judaism, the funeral is usually within 24 hours. For my gramma it was 4 days because she died the day before Rosh Hashanah(Jewish New Year) and holiday funerals aren't allowed so we had to wait til Sunday after the holiday and Shabbos. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Nothing to do with Mary, but I do think there should always be an autopsy required when one dies accidentally or unexpectedly.  

Idk what the actual laws are or the logistics of that, but I listen to enough true crime podcasts to want to err on the side of caution.  

Again...general comment and nothing Duggar related is implied.

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

I wonder how the family dynamic will change. I think JB was a HUGE Mama's boy.. without her guidance, will he go full tilt boogie into Michele-ville? Will they get deeper into the ILBP? What's going to happen?

I suspect he'll continue to run things as he does but claim "This is how Grandma would have wanted it" for unpopular decisions.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

10 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Nothing to do with Mary, but I do think there should always be an autopsy required when one dies accidentally or unexpectedly.  

Idk what the actual laws are or the logistics of that, but I listen to enough true crime podcasts to want to err on the side of caution.  

Again...general comment and nothing Duggar related is implied.

Some families do not want their loved ones remains dissected like that, and are upset by the very idea of it. I think in cases like this were there is a logical answer to how she died, and there is no evidence at all of fowl play,  most (if not all) states allow the family to to choose weather or not to have an autopsy done. Some wish to know the exact cause of death, others don't need or want the minutiae.  

[usmcmom]

My family has waited a week or so for a couple of funerals because we were waiting for family members to make their way home.  Those in the military or attending college far away need a while to get things arranged.  When my grandfather died, I dealt with the Red Cross in trying to get my brother home from overseas. It is overwhelming and takes a while.  

Hopefully the Duggars just needed to manage similar logistics and it was nothing more upsetting. 

[BachelorToTheRapture]

4 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

My family has waited a week or so for a couple of funerals because we were waiting for family members to make their way home.  Those in the military or attending college far away need a while to get things arranged.  When my grandfather died, I dealt with the Red Cross in trying to get my brother home from overseas. It is overwhelming and takes a while.  

Hopefully the Duggars just needed to manage similar logistics and it was nothing more upsetting. 

I've also had funerals delayed due to cremation and availability of the desired church for the funeral mass. If they wanted that particular church they may have had to choose a certain day/time

[NorthernGal]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Anyone else surprised that they had the funeral so quickly?  She only passed away on Sunday afternoon, right?

 

  Hide contents

And I don't want to be morbid--but was an autopsy required?

 

A week can be a common timeline for a funeral when the person has all their affairs in order.  It is very likely that Mary Duggar had all her affairs in order as it would appear she was a very savy business women and would want to make sure that her will and wishes would be up do date.

I would also speculate that that being the type of person with the type of faith she was credited for, her funeral plans would have been easily put in place.  It would seem that her passing (whenever it would have occured) was not something she would put off dicussing with her family her wishes.  So in that respect I think it was not a diffucult memorial to put in place.  (In huge contrast to my supersticious Mother who won't even say the word death)

Also a note to add is that their very close family friend was getting married that weekend and many overlapping people would be traveling to the wedding so it would make sense to hold her memorial while people who would need to travel would not need to travel twice.  

Autoposies that we are familiar with on tv are not the norm   More often the coroner releases is able to determine the cause of death, rule out foul play and release the body to the family. Once this has happened the family can request an autopsy if they still have questions but it would seem in this case they did not (that is just an assumtion on my part)

[HerNameIsBuffy]

17 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Some families do not want their loved ones remains dissected like that, and are upset by the very idea of it. I think in cases like this were there is a logical answer to how she died, and there is no evidence at all of fowl play,  most (if not all) states allow the family to to choose weather or not to have an autopsy done. Some wish to know the exact cause of death, others don't need or want the minutiae.  

I don’t trust families to always know of foul play was involved or to determine how/why someone died.

just my opinion, but for the public good I do think accidental deaths need to be confirmed accidental by a medical professional.