M is for Mama 3: B is for Baby Boy Born

[SuperNova]

Today's intstallment of please god make it stop, otherwise known as #gentlenesschallenge:

"Because the truth is that I stay pretty calm and kind most times that I don't feel frazzled and rushed, but the NUMBER ONE way to frazzle me is for a little girl to declare that she can't find her leotard as we're hustling out the door. It feels personal. And deeply offensive (at least in that moment... when the stress wears off, I'm able to see how ridiculous such a reaction is). I know not everybody reacts the same way, but I'm guessing if you're here to work on gentle speech, then one time you struggle to maintain that goal is when your kids are making you late." 

I found myself rubbing my forehead like I had a headache as I read this. This is mental abuse. It's the parent's job to manage their time properly so that there isn't a mad rush at the last minute. For someone with so many kids, Abbie should have a better system in place, like bags checked the night before and waiting by the door. Maybe if she took some time away from unimportant crap like pillow arranging, rug placement, or closet wallpapering, she would find the extra hours needed to better organize her family. It would also be easier if there were two functioning parents. 

Edited March 31, 2019 by SuperNova

[ViolaSebastian]

54 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Today's intstallment of please god make it stop, otherwise known as #gentlenesschallenge:

"Because the truth is that I stay pretty calm and kind most times that I don't feel frazzled and rushed, but the NUMBER ONE way to frazzle me is for a little girl to declare that she can't find her leotard as we're hustling out the door. It feels personal. And deeply offensive (at least in that moment... when the stress wears off, I'm able to see how ridiculous such a reaction is). I know not everybody reacts the same way, but I'm guessing if you're here to work on gentle speech, then one time you struggle to maintain that goal is when your kids are making you late." 

I found myself rubbing my forehead like I had a headache as I read this. This is mental abuse. It's the parent's job to manage their time properly so that there isn't a mad rush at the last minute. For someone with so many kids, Abbie should have a better system in place, like bags checked the night before and waiting by the door. Maybe if she took some time away from unimportant crap like pillow arranging, rug placement, or closet wallpapering, she would find the extra hours needed to better organize her family. It would also be easier if there were two functioning parents. 

Ugh. Her twins are SIX. She's getting offended that a six-year-old can't find her freakin' leotard. A six-year-old.

[luv2laugh]

2 hours ago, SuperNova said:

"the NUMBER ONE way to frazzle me is for a little girl to declare that she can't find her leotard as we're hustling out the door. It feels personal. And deeply offensive (at least in that moment... when the stress wears off, I'm able to see how ridiculous such a reaction is). I know not everybody reacts the same way, but I'm guessing if you're here to work on gentle speech, then one time you struggle to maintain that goal is when your kids are making you late." 

I found myself rubbing my forehead like I had a headache as I read this. This is mental abuse. It's the parent's job to manage their time properly so that there isn't a mad rush at the last minute. For someone with so many kids, Abbie should have a better system in place, like bags checked the night before and waiting by the door. Maybe if she took some time away from unimportant crap like pillow arranging, rug placement, or closet wallpapering, she would find the extra hours needed to better organize her family. It would also be easier if there were two functioning parents. 

What the hell?! Abbie has a personality that is not meant to have a lot of kids and quite possibly no children at all. She needs to be an adult, take responsibility, and put a stop to her selfish addiction to pregnancy before more of her kids are emotionally damaged. Her children are suffering from her inability to control herself.

Why does no one in her life explain that it’s time to stop cranking out the babies for the sake of her already born children? I blame Shaun for not putting a stop to Abbie. It’s as if the man is too afraid of her to stick up for his kids.

Does everyone walk on egg shells around this horrible woman?

EDIT: Also, if Shaun is afraid of Braggie, he can get a secret vasectomy and pretend it’s a work trip.

Edited March 31, 2019 by luv2laugh

[lilith]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

There are some fundie couples I’ve always imagined were very open before marriage. Michael Bates seems like a rather open person to me. Maybe not on tv, but in real life. They had a really long relationship before they married and I’ve always assumed they talked about much more than most fundie couples. There’s a lot to be said for the long courtships. I bet John and Abbie Duggar didn’t talk about a lot of topics because they moved so fast and weren’t close friends before courting. They are likely using this time to get to know one another much better because they went into marriage so quickly. 

There’s a clip of the older Bates girls talking to Michael before her wedding, and Erin is asking her if she’s curious about the wedding night and they’re all giggling, and Michael pretty much tells them she’ll be fine and she doesn’t know why they’re making such a fuss......

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, lilith said:

There’s a clip of the older Bates girls talking to Michael before her wedding, and Erin is asking her if she’s curious about the wedding night and they’re all giggling, and Michael pretty much tells them she’ll be fine and she doesn’t know why they’re making such a fuss......

I like Michael’s frankness. It’s refreshing in fundie land. 

[Hane]

Abbie reminds me in some ways of ThatWife, mother of poor Bathroom Baby. She’s the one who persuaded her husband to marry her by showing him a PowerPoint presentation explaining why (as a Mormon, she was convinced that he was The One, and because marriage is virtually mandatory in that religion), and who had two kids because it was expected of her, even though she was obviously not cut out for parenthood at all.

[luv2laugh]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

Abbie reminds me in some ways of ThatWife, mother of poor Bathroom Baby. She’s the one who persuaded her husband to marry her by showing him a PowerPoint presentation explaining why (as a Mormon, she was convinced that he was The One, and because marriage is virtually mandatory in that religion), and who had two kids because it was expected of her, even though she was obviously not cut out for parenthood at all.

How dare you suggest Abbie is similar to a Mormon in anyway! Abbie is a Bible-believing, saved Christian. Don’t you know?! 

 

Remember when Abbie flipped out on Instagram in the comments because someone simply asked her if she was a Mormon and how she demanded to know why someone would accuse of her, a Bible-believing saved Christian, of Mormonism? ?

Edited April 1, 2019 by luv2laugh

[mango_fandango]

Abbie sounds awful. There are some women who shouldn’t have kids, and she is one of them. 

I don’t know much about Michael. I know she looked up “sex” or something in the dictionary and found out about it that way. Plus, along with the longer courtship, she was a bit older than most fundie brides. She always seemed fairly mature and sensible compared to, say, Tori or Carlin (although of course Carlin isn’t married yet). 

[BobJonesBabe]

Calling it now that Braggie is only (or primarily) running her #thegentlenesschallenge to get a book deal. And if not a deal, she’ll self-publish and sell it to her audience. 

 

But hey...could be good: everyone says writing a book is like “birthing a baby.” So maybe if it makes her feel good enough about herself, she’ll stop with the pregnancies? But still guarantee she’ll have a birth story to share... ??

[luv2laugh]

1 hour ago, BobJonesBabe said:

Calling it now that Braggie is only (or primarily) running her #thegentlenesschallenge to get a book deal. And if not a deal, she’ll self-publish and sell it to her audience. 

 

But hey...could be good: everyone says writing a book is like “birthing a baby.” So maybe if it makes her feel good enough about herself, she’ll stop with the pregnancies? But still guarantee she’ll have a birth story to share... ??

Oh, I agree. In an early blog post, she admitted that the main reason she started a blog was to develop a following for her eventual book release.

Her challenge sounds like a rip-off of Gretchen Rubin’s famous book, The Happiness Project. 

Speaking of the gentleness challenge, perhaps she should challenge herself to STOP spanking her kids and squirting vinegar juice down their throats? How about challenging yourself to hold your crying baby instead of sticking it in the cupboard to teach it a lesson on self-soothing?  I believe Abbie has anger problems.

Edited April 1, 2019 by luv2laugh

[Melissa1977]

5 hours ago, Hane said:

Abbie reminds me in some ways of ThatWife, mother of poor Bathroom Baby. She’s the one who persuaded her husband to marry her by showing him a PowerPoint presentation explaining why (as a Mormon, she was convinced that he was The One, and because marriage is virtually mandatory in that religion), and who had two kids because it was expected of her, even though she was obviously not cut out for parenthood at all.

At least thatwife stopped at 2 kids.

[danvillebelle]

15 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Ugh. Her twins are SIX. She's getting offended that a six-year-old can't find her freakin' leotard. A six-year-old.

And maybe one of the reasons the poor girl can't find her leotard is that she lives in a BARN.  A wallpapered, wonky-ceilinged, over tchotchke'd barn.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, danvillebelle said:

And maybe one of the reasons the poor girl can't find her leotard is that she lives in a BARN.  A wallpapered, wonky-ceilinged, over tchotchke'd barn.

I don’t know how they find anything in that house! At least the Duggars and Bateses were smart about clothing. They usually kept all the clothing in the laundry room. So if someone was looking for a certain piece, they knew where to look. Putting clean clothing away in that house must be a huge task. 

[BobJonesBabe]

8 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

Oh, I agree. In an early blog post, she admitted that the main reason she started a blog was to develop a following for her eventual book release.

Her challenge sounds like a rip-off of Gretchen Rubin’s famous book, The Happiness Project. 

Speaking of the gentleness challenge, perhaps she should challenge herself to STOP spanking her kids and squirting vinegar juice down their throats? How about challenging yourself to hold your crying baby instead of sticking it in the cupboard to teach it a lesson on self-soothing?  I believe Abbie has anger problems.

I wouldn’t want her and Gretchen Rubin mentioned in the same sentence ? I like Rubin’s writing...which is also heavily researched. 

 

Exactly. I’m not going to listen to anyone lecture on gentleness who hits their kids and is proud of it. We’ve already mentioned she’s abusive. Being abusive while speaking in a soft or gentle voice is even more psychologically toxic...and confusingly abusive. ??

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I don’t know how they find anything in that house! At least the Duggars and Bateses were smart about clothing. They usually kept all the clothing in the laundry room. So if someone was looking for a certain piece, they knew where to look. Putting clean clothing away in that house must be a huge task. 

I thought they do have a family closet in the laundry room, and keep few things in the kids’ rooms?

Stating the obvious here, when my kids were younger and in sports, dance..., and both my hubs and I worked outside the home, bags, lunches ( aside from perishables) backpacks, sports and dance bags were packed the night before and placed by the door ready to go. The same for school uniforms. After I washed the uniforms, tights, socks, they all went right back into the kids’ sports/ dance bags. In all our years, we never scrambled for lost items, not even when the kids managed their own stuff. Because this is what busy, organized, sensible people do.  And if her excuse is she has 8, yes, 8, children, well there’s your freakin sign that you have too many kids!!

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

I thought they do have a family closet in the laundry room, and keep few things in the kids’ rooms?

Stating the obvious here, when my kids were younger and in sports, dance..., and both my hubs and I worked outside the home, bags, lunches ( aside from perishables) backpacks, sports and dance bags were packed the night before and placed by the door ready to go. The same for school uniforms. After I washed the uniforms, tights, socks, they all went right back into the kids’ sports/ dance bags. In all our years, we never scrambled for lost items, not even when the kids managed their own stuff. Because this is what busy, organized, sensible people do.  And if her excuse is she has 8, yes, 8, children, well there’s your freakin sign that you have too many kids!!

She has more than one laundry room I think. 

[ViolaSebastian]

15 hours ago, Hane said:

Abbie reminds me in some ways of ThatWife, mother of poor Bathroom Baby. She’s the one who persuaded her husband to marry her by showing him a PowerPoint presentation explaining why (as a Mormon, she was convinced that he was The One, and because marriage is virtually mandatory in that religion), and who had two kids because it was expected of her, even though she was obviously not cut out for parenthood at all.

Have you continued watching that train wreck? Because it got even train-wreckier.

[PopRox]

40 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Have you continued watching that train wreck? Because it got even train-wreckier.

Funny you mentioned that, because I was bored the other day and checked out her threads on GOMI and /r/blogsnark. She's just 11 kinds of awful-- neglecting the fuck out of her kids, complaining about having to raise the children she intentionally brought into this world (sound familiar?), being "so busy" doing absolutely fuck-all that she has to outsource childcare to an Au Pair and drop out of the PTA with only a few months to go (although it's speculated that she was voted off the island). I haven't caught up on all the threads (there's a lot. A lottttttt), but supposedly she and That Husband are separated now?

I can't see her instagram because I'm blocked. I've never commented as far as I remember, but I *was* following the now-defunct GOMIBLOG instagram...

I tried to read her blog, but she's so navel-gazing and WORDY that my eyeballs glazed over.

Edited April 1, 2019 by PopRox
fixed something.

[ViolaSebastian]

2 minutes ago, PopRox said:

Funny you mentioned that, because I was bored the other day and checked out her threads on GOMI and /r/blogsnark. She's just 11 kinds of awful-- neglecting the fuck out of her kids, complaining about having to raise the children she intentionally brought into this world (sound familiar?), being "so busy" doing absolutely fuck-all that she has to outsource childcare to an Au Pair and dropping out of the PTA with only a few months to go (although it's speculated that she was voted off the island). I haven't caught up on all the threads (there's a lot. A lottttttt), but supposedly she and That Husband are separated now?

I can't see her instagram because I'm blocked. I've never commented as far as I remember, but I *was* following the now-defunct GOMIBLOG instagram...

I tried to read her blog, but she's so navel-gazing and WORDY that my eyeballs glazed over.

The alcohol/weed component scares the bajeesus out of me, too. It's fairly obvious she has some sort of anxiety and/or depression issue and uses substances to medicate it/them. She'll post Instagram stories where it's extremely obvious she's toasted--and this'll be in the mornings or afternoons.

I believe she and her husband are still together, but IIRC, they're in an open relationship now.

[PopRox]

18 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

The alcohol/weed component scares the bajeesus out of me, too. It's fairly obvious she has some sort of anxiety and/or depression issue and uses substances to medicate it/them.

I hear that, and also she's trying to live the youth she "missed" because she was Mormon and omgSO OPPRESSED because she felt the need to marry and have kids early... but FFS Jenna, you're a parent now. Go to a doctor and get some meds, and take care of your kids. Save the booze and weed for weekend nights after your kids are in bed.

I feel bad for her kids (and Braggie's, and Jill's, and Zsus....).

Edited April 1, 2019 by PopRox
I am batting 1,000 with typos this week.

[ViolaSebastian]

1 minute ago, PopRox said:

I hear that, and also she's trying to live the youth she "missed" because she was Mormon and omgSO OPPRESSED because she felt the need to marry and have kids early... but FFS Jenna, you're a parent now. Go to a doctor and get some meds, and take care of your kids. Save the booze and weed for weekend nights after your kids are in bed.

I feel bad for her kids (and Braggie's, and Jill's, and Zsus....).

Just to be clear, I'm not knocking parents who partake in either, but it's obvious she's using it to self-medicate and she's doing it when she's the only person around with her kids--both of which are worrisome. And if you're misusing substances the night before you're the only caregiver and then can't parent because you're hungover, that's worrisome too--and those are all things she's done. Both kids seem very sweet, in spite of it all. 

[SassyPants]

57 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She has more than one laundry room I think. 

I actually have an upstairs laundry room and a downstairs laundry station in the garage. I also have a laundry closet for hanging my clothes as I do not like to machine dry many of my things.

AH has many issues at play. 1. She doesn’t particularly like or have the personality for having lots of kids. 2. She has an absent husband. 3. She leads a rather isolated life. 4. She acts as if children are miniature adults and do not need to be patiently taught. 5. She’s  an attention whore and a narcissist. 6. She is very thinned skinned, which battles with their need for attention. All of these things in tandem with her reproductive bahviors cause her to look like an angry, impatient lunatic.

On 3/31/2019 at 11:27 AM, SuperNova said:

Today's intstallment of please god make it stop, otherwise known as #gentlenesschallenge:

"Because the truth is that I stay pretty calm and kind most times that I don't feel frazzled and rushed, but the NUMBER ONE way to frazzle me is for a little girl to declare that she can't find her leotard as we're hustling out the door. It feels personal. And deeply offensive (at least in that moment... when the stress wears off, I'm able to see how ridiculous such a reaction is). I know not everybody reacts the same way, but I'm guessing if you're here to work on gentle speech, then one time you struggle to maintain that goal is when your kids are making you late." 

I found myself rubbing my forehead like I had a headache as I read this. This is mental abuse. It's the parent's job to manage their time properly so that there isn't a mad rush at the last minute. For someone with so many kids, Abbie should have a better system in place, like bags checked the night before and waiting by the door. Maybe if she took some time away from unimportant crap like pillow arranging, rug placement, or closet wallpapering, she would find the extra hours needed to better organize her family. It would also be easier if there were two functioning parents. 

I hope this “girl” isn’t the one that always pushes her buttons and isn’t her whipping girl (verbal/ psychological).

[SassyPantswithASideofClass]

Danggggg, AH needs to just Chill. Girl just chill out! Your daughter is 6! She's not going to understand the need to be organized etc just yet. Did you in that span of time ever stop and ask "do you remember where you had it last?" did you even bother to help her look for it? Could it be AH that YOU misplaced it? Maybe it got mixed up in the laundry (heck its happened to me before!). Did it fall behind something heavy? Did you even think to move that heavy object for your daughter? Or are you more concerned about pushing out babies and making your older kids raise them?

AH, growing up, I lost stuff like a normal 6 year old kiddo would do. My parents never grew frustrated with me. They'd immediately (if they could) would help me find it. I remember one time I lost my blanket (it was pink and white with yellow and blue  baby ducks all over it)(I was about 6 at the time)that I had since I was 2, I somehow had left it behind at the store. My dad realizing I was missing it and couldn't find it, turned the car around, and asked the manager if a blanket had been returned. Manager said yes, an employee had found it and gave it to the manager. You can only imagine my joy when I was reunited with it. Never once did my father berate me or make me feel ashamed. Funny thing is now, I help my parents look for stuff that they misplace by accident.

[DundeeUnFundie]

I'm wondering if Abbie is doing the 'buddy system'? She hasn't held the baby in a group sunday best photo, it's always Simon holding him (I think with the exception of Ezra in the first one). Could be coincidental, but I'm remembering how hands-on Ezra was with Honor, and now I'm suspicious...

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, DundeeUnFundie said:

I'm wondering if Abbie is doing the 'buddy system'? She hasn't held the baby in a group sunday best photo, it's always Simon holding him (I think with the exception of Ezra in the first one). Could be coincidental, but I'm remembering how hands-on Ezra was with Honor, and now I'm suspicious...

I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Ezra was buddies with Honor, Simon with Shiloh, the oldest girl with Theo, and the twins are buddies to each other.