Maxwell 26: The Toothbrush Thing Is Real

[meee]

Haha, doesn't Courtney also have a kid named Crew?

I read the blog post. I'm shocked at the "mixed blessing" part, that they would be anything less than fully thrilled at Melanie's pregnancy.

As for the progesterone, I've never used it but I've done fertility treatments and it sounds like some of the stuff I've injected where you have to draw up/mix the solution into the syringe, and that's done with a huge needle, and then you swap that for a much smaller needle to inject it into yourself. I'm honestly appalled that there would be any question about "forgetting" to switch to the much smaller and less painful needle. This is like "don't remind him to bring home pizza," but exponentially worse!

I just hope Melanie and baby are going to be okay.

[OhNoNike]

Sorry everyone.  Anyone willing to give a summary of what the past issues were? I’ve seen it mentioned that she’s had complications, but I’ve not been around long enough to know what that is (and the Maxwell search function on their blog doesn’t seem to work well). 

[anjulibai]

@meee Courtney does not have a Crew......yet.

@OhNoNike If you go to the About section on the Titus 2 blog, there are links to the births of each of Nathan and Melanie's children. There should be details there. I know she's given birth early and has had to be on bed rest or hospitalized several times. No C-sections as far as I recall, and I think Benjamin was her least complicated pregnancy to date. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Oh, joy! A new "crew" member. I think the "mixed blessing" part is amazing--in a good way. Acknowledging that this isn't easy.  I'm still ticked they didn't stay with the A-Z thing even if it may have been unintentional. Benjie just doesn't fit right!

I never understand why it's ok to "play God" and use modern methods to get or stay pregnant but not to keep from being pregnant. What happened to God's plan for some to be childless? [This is not directed at anyone in particular--just a theoretical question. Why is rethinking God's will on one thing ok, but not on another?]

[anjulibai]

Benjamin fits. He's B to Andrew/Drew's A. 

ETA: I think they were actually pretty clever with picking Drew's name. A D name in case to go with the girls in case he was the last and/or only boy, and an A name if he was the first of two or more boys. 

[Dru]

1 hour ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

I never understand why it's ok to "play God" and use modern methods to get or stay pregnant but not to keep from being pregnant. What happened to God's plan for some to be childless? [This is not directed at anyone in particular--just a theoretical question. Why is rethinking God's will on one thing ok, but not on another?]

I asked Teri this very question way back in the Moms' board days. She replied with some bullshit about how she can't tell other's what to do, only what they have done (she used progesterone as well). She completely ignored the fact that they banned people from talking about birth control of any type in a positive light on the board. So to answer your question, hypocrisy.

[mango_fandango]

Omfg she’s pregnant again? I honestly thought NR Anna would be the first to have a #6. I did think maybe Melanie would get pregnant again, but I thought it was less likely than NR Anna having another one. NR Anna, given her age, will end up having more than Melanie.

Apparently progesterone can be an issue in pregnancy, as in becoming preggo/sustaining it. Maybe at least some of her infertility issues were due to that. 

And perhaps NR Anna will announce at Christmas by giving Steve a rattle, as has happened with them before. 

[nausicaa]

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

I'm not surprised at all. I just had a feeling she would have one more. And of course they would never take precautions to avoid a risky pregnancy! 

Yeah, I don't understand others' surprise or the belief that a Maxwell family member would take steps to prevent this. Their religious ideology is built around the belief that preventing pregnancy in any way is a grave sin. This isn't a debated tangential issue for Fundies like wearing skirts of homeschooling. Nathan and Melanie have three options:

1. Abstain from sex (which could still be seen as a sin on Melanie's part)

2. Completely rebel against the nexus of their beliefs by using some form of birth control after years of toeing the Maxwell line in every other nitpicky "two shirts and no colored buttons" way.

3.  Keep having kids. (Also 43 is certainly not out of the ballpark for having kids, especially for someone with established fertility.)

As for Biblical "D" names for girls, Dorcas is always an option!

5 hours ago, Ex 2x2 said:

Wow. Melanie looks great. I’m pretty surprised. When they say high-risk, do they mean they could lose the baby or they could lose Melanie? How tragic would that be to leave those kids without her! 

I cannot remember the exact details, but Melanie has had very dangerous pregnancies in the past, and I think those risks only increase with age. She has (imo rightfully) received a lot of criticism on FJ for continuing to risk leaving her children motherless with each pregnancy (but as I said above, I know her beliefs and so am not surprised, even if I strongly disagree with them). 

We basically all hold our breath and cross our fingers while she is pregnant. 

[singsingsing]

11 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

Yeah, I don't understand others' surprise or the belief that a Maxwell family member would take steps to prevent this. Their religious ideology is built around the belief that preventing pregnancy in any way is a grave sin. This isn't a debated tangential issue for Fundies like wearing skirts of homeschooling.

Yeah, this is why I say even with the Duggars and Bateses (who are comparatively "liberal"), if some of them do decide to try and space their children, it's not going to be an easy breezy decision, and it's far more likely to involve periodic abstinence or NFP than hormonal bc or even a barrier method. That's not to say than none of them will go that route, just that it's far from the obvious course of action, especially for the more traditional/conservative ones.

[Dru]

25 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

I cannot remember the exact details, but Melanie has had very dangerous pregnancies that have put her life at risk in the past, and those risks only increase with age. She has (imo rightfully) received a lot of criticism on FJ for continuing to risk leaving her children motherless with each pregnancy (but as I said above, I know her beliefs and so am not surprised, even if I strongly disagree with them). 

We basically all hold our breath and cross our fingers while she is pregnant. 

I could be wrong but I don't recall the risk ever being to Melanie herself. She has a history of miscarrying or going into labor early which is why she's been put on bed rest in the past.

[nausicaa]

21 minutes ago, Dru said:

I could be wrong but I don't recall the risk ever being to Melanie herself. She has a history of miscarrying or going into labor early which is why she's been put on bed rest in the past.

I remember a conversation with people discussing Melanie's issues and worrying about her passing away and leaving the children motherless (Think this was two pregnancies ago? And I think someone with a similar condition chimed in?). But 1. I could be misremembering and 2. Even if I'm not, the FJ speculation train may have left Reality Station during that discussion.

 

Added:

So I checked, and it looks like you're right, I can't find the information on their blog about Melanie's health being at risk, just the babies. There have been three emergency c-sections and one loss. Below are from the birth posts for each kid:

Spoiler

 

Susannah

Early in February of 2007, contractions were no longer occasional, and they picked up in intensity, causing Nathan and Melanie to make a late-night trip to the hospital, where doctors stopped the labor with medication. Melanie went on bed rest, and we praised the Lord for each day little Thumper could stay in the womb. Susannah earned the nickname Thumper for how active she was. Day after day went by, with continued contractions. Finally, on the evening of March 20th, contractions kicked in for real. The baby had already been given shots to help develop her lungs. At the hospital, labor progressed well. Doctors monitored the baby, and she was doing great. A little after 5 a.m., on March 21st, Susannah Joy Maxwell was born!

 

Abigail

"Baby arrived at 34 and half weeks – shocking us by showing up as a girl (and weighing 6 pounds 4 ounces). We had wanted to be surprised but felt it was a little boy; we were very wrong. While not our desire, she was delivered by a semi-urgent c/section. Both Melanie and Baby came through it great. Due to her gestational age when she arrived, she will be in care of the NICU for a little while longer."  

 

Bethany

"While not our desire, she was delivered by a semi-urgent c/section. Both Melanie and Baby came through it great. Due to her gestational age when she arrived, she will be in care of the NICU for a little while longer. We don’t know whether that means one week, two, or maybe more. However, even though she’s in the NICU, she’s strong, healthy, and alert! She has no IV’s connected, just a small feeding tube to help her with some nutrients while she’s learning to nurse. " 

 

Christina:

"After a very hard labor, the doctor deemed it necessary to do an emergency C-section, and at 1:57 p.m. Christina Mercy entered the world. She was 9 pounds 6 ounces and doing fine. Melanie is “okay,” and we are praising God for His mercy and grace. "

 

Drew: Written in a stupid "Drew's eye view" way, but pregnancy seems to have been fairly uneventful

 

Benjamin: Uneventful

 

 

[mango_fandango]

I don’t think she’d go with Dorcas for a girl, they tend to go Biblical/run-of-the-mill. Possibly something like Danielle. Delilah is pretty but from what I can tell the Biblical character wasn’t someone the Maxwells would really approve of. The middle names have tended to be virtue/value names for the girls (Hope, Faith, Mercy) so maybe Verity for a middle name. Charity fits with Hope and Faith, too. 

Boys names; yeah, probably Caleb. 

[anjulibai]

I'm only surprised by this in that I didn't think Melanie could get pregnant again given her age and history. I assumed she wasn't preventing, but I didn't expect anything to happen.

I do fully expect NR Anna to be popping out babies when she's 43. That will not surprise me in the least. 

[Jana814]

7 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

I do fully expect NR Anna to be popping out babies when she's 43. That will not surprise me in the least. 

So do I. I know this as been asked before. But how old is NR Anna. 

[singsingsing]

19 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

So do I. I know this as been asked before. But how old is NR Anna. 

She’s 32.

[meee]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

I remember a conversation with people discussing Melanie's issues and worrying about her passing away and leaving the children motherless (Think this was two pregnancies ago? And I think someone with a similar condition chimed in?). But 1. I could be misremembering and 2. Even if I'm not, the FJ speculation train may have left Reality Station during that discussion.

Is it possible you're thinking of Erin Bates Paine, whose clotting disorder complicates her pregnancies?

[nausicaa]

1 minute ago, meee said:

Is it possible you're thinking of Erin Bates Paine, whose clotting disorder complicates her pregnancies?

No, I think it was actually pre-Erin Bates Pain pregnancy. I'm pretty sure we were talking about Melanie and bemoaning how anti-birth control beliefs actually put children at risk. 

I know there have been similar discussions about Erin too though. 

[meowfundiecatz]

3 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

I never understand why it's ok to "play God" and use modern methods to get or stay pregnant but not to keep from being pregnant. What happened to God's plan for some to be childless? [This is not directed at anyone in particular--just a theoretical question. Why is rethinking God's will on one thing ok, but not on another?] 

So I thought I'd give my 2 cents on the answer to this question, in case anyone is interested. In the case of fertility treatments such as progesterone or others that can help a woman conceive or stay pregnant, the idea is that the body doesn't always work (because of sin). Doctors and medical treatments are ways that God redeems this issue. (Which is why some fundies aren't faith healers). As for a baby in utero, it is a life so using modern medicine to keep the pregnancy is just part of medical care. As for God's plan for those to remain childless, many would believe that this wouldn't be God's will and that each couple with fertility issues needs to take it up with the Lord.

(This is why I don't think Michael Bates has used fertility treatments as far as we know. My dr. has said he'll allow up to 6 medicated (clomid) before considering something else.) 

(Personally I am on the fundie spectrum and our family does use fertility treatments, and will up to IVF. We won't go that far.)

Now, of course we know there are fundies on all sides. I have church friends who are very leary of modern medicine and are QF. I have others who are very much for medication and medicating for any need. I also have many friends who use birth control and I understand why. I'm also in a FB group with many Mennonites who have fertility struggles and some go very far with medicating, even to IVF. So there's that. I do know some patriarchal families that do use BC. And I do have a friend who has had to have an abortion, although I don't think many in our circle know of this. It wouldn't be discussed unless the person was very, very close (like in this case). I hope that wasn't too long winded and helped someone understand a little. (I know it was theoretical but one reason I read and contribute here is because of my love of perspectives.) (And yes even other fundies think the Maxwells are a little..different. Most wouldn't come on a message board, but I sometimes think those with similar beliefs as me need to dig their heads out of the sand, especially if they want to "reach the world for Christ.")

[IReallyAmHopewell]

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Dorcas

Dorcas? Not really aa American Protestant name.

Quote

Benjamin fits. He's B to Andrew/Drew's A. 

I hadn't thought of it that way--thanks! I was thinking Abby, Bethany, Christina, Drew, then Benjie?? But, you are right!

How old is Melanie? 40?

[singsingsing]

24 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Dorcas? Not really aa American Protestant name.

It used to be. I have an ancestor named Dorcas. Her full name was Dorcas Gayer. That would've been a fun one for a kid in the 90s. Luckily she lived in the 17th century...

[HereticHick]

34 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Dorcas? Not really an American Protestant name.

 

I dunno--it used to popular with the Puritans in New England. There was even a Dorcas in the Salem Witch Trials: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorcas_Hoar 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

51 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I dunno--it used to popular with the Puritans in New England. There was even a Dorcas in the Salem Witch Trials: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorcas_Hoar 

Yes, but today?

[tabitha2]

They won’t use Dorcas. Come on now. I think They would use Damaris before that. But if Destiny is good enough for the Waller’s who’s to say it’s not an option for the Maxwells?

[nausicaa]

Okay--I was totally joking when I suggested "Dorcas." Didn't realize that this would take off like it did. I'm basically twelve and the name makes me laugh.

As far as being a Protestant name, it might not culturally be popular, but it is a New Testament name. Dorcas was a widow in Acts who Peter raised from the dead. The name is the Greek version of the Aramaic name Tabitha. 

The only other "D" female Biblical names I can come up with are Deborah (the most likely choice), Damaris (probably not, but that is a cool name and I am filing it away) or Delilah and Dinah-- both highly unlikely considering their stories. 

[usmcmom]

I only like the name Dorcas because of the character in "Lark Rise to Candleford."  I think it's time I watch the series again; at least the Christmas episode.